GAYLLYNNE   191,957
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I have never been this angry or this sad in my life!!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

In my last blog I told everyone of what I had to go through to catch the little kitten we call Robin. I had her brother and now I had them both, they were safe. I was planning on taking them to the vet, getting them shots, wormed and finding a home.

My g/f asked if she and her daughter and friend could come over and see the kittens. They are both teenagers (16 and17). I specifically said they could if they followed what I said. I kind of laughed about this because they weren't babies. I was socializing the kittens and the more they were held the better.

They got to my house mid day. I was showing them the scars on my hands and brought them into the garage. The girls sat in front of the cage and I gave each one a kitten. I said very specifically if the kitten gets squirmy put it back in the cage. No big deal right??

Within a minute both girls had set the kittens down and they had run off . BOTH OF THEM!! I was so shocked I couldn't speak. I threw everyone out. My garage isn't just an open space but a vast array of boxes and things piled to the ceiling. My car isn't even in there right now!!!

By the end of the evening I was able to coax out the male and I grabbed him. In fear he re-ripped open my hand but at least I got him. I couldn't find the other one. I went back into the house absolutely hysterical crying.

It has been several days now. I am no closer to capturing the kitten than I was the first. I have seen her once. I am beside myself in disbelief. I just can't stop crying and when I do I become so upset that I actually feel my blood pressure go so high my ears ring! I WENT TO THE HOSPITAL FOR THIS KITTEN. She had a future. She was going to know what a home was, what a family was, what being loved was and now that's gone. Stolen from her by a moment of stupidity!! A four year old could have followed my instructions!

Now my window is closing. There is only a certain amount of time to turn around a ferral kitten before it can't be done. She's almost 10 weeks and soon it will be to late, that is if I can get her at all. I HAD HER!!! I really thought I had rescued them! Her brother is at my vets, safe and loved and cuddled all day by everyone in his office and she is wandering around, hiding behind boxes.

If I can't get her I don't know what I will do. I may have to call in animal control in which case they will take her and put her down or I may have to open the garage and let her go. She will have a horrible life growing up in the wild and most likely be killed by a car or other animal and if not, pregnant by 6 months and a life span of 3 years if she's lucky.

I cry all the time. I have scars on my hands that will never go away from catching her but I thought it was all worth it because I saved her life. Now this. I can't even get into the law that says I have to watch her for 10 days in case she gets sick or I will have to have a series of painful rabies shots in my stomach.

I am going to try and find a butterfly net. I might be able to catch her with that but I no longer have any hope. I am still on pain medication for my ripped up hands and antibiotics for the infections that I got for absolutely NOTHING!

I was in the city today working and had to get off the bus because I started to cry. It's all I do, sit and cry. This poor little kitten is a good as dead and she had everything right in front of her. How cruel is that?

Just needed to add that I have a humane trap set and that is how we got her in the first place. She just won't go in it again I'm sorry to say.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARYMAC45 7/14/2010 4:11PM

    If you can take the time to sit by some food & water and talk softly she may come out. She has to be hungry & may be receptive. OR place some raw hamburger meat in the humane trap that will get her. Our daughter catches ferrel cats and has them fixed and finds placement for them or if they are real bad and cannot be tamed she sets them out and they will not reproduce. Good luck.

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K8NJKSMOM 7/14/2010 3:28PM

    What a terrible time for you.

Try putting out tuna for the kitten. When my cat "escaped" years ago, this was suggested as it has quite a scent that the cats can pickup. After two days lost, this did the trick and my furry boy returned.

Wishing you good luck.

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GEMINI-SKY 7/14/2010 1:20PM

    Maybe if you go inot the garage and put a bowl of food and water down and sit calmly, and talk softly, he may come out and eat..probably very hungry by now. If he doesn't come out, keep doing it day after day. As my post in your previous blod, it took me over a month for them to come out with me sitting there. Sort of aclumating them to me slowly. They were already 8 weeks or so when I found them. As a matter of fact, the others have come back from time to time. I keep taking them back to a neighbors farm but they keep coming back.
Slow but sure wins the race...I wish you luck and just know I feel for you and for them. You're foing something good for them.

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OBOIST61 7/14/2010 10:35AM

    Animals just really latch on to our hearts and when they're in particular need, it makes it all the worse ... and of course, this problem was completely avoidable which amplifies it still more. Not that I am telling you anything you don't know. You and the kitties are being kept in many prayers. And all of us are hoping for good news from you soon.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LIZZYP609 7/14/2010 12:33AM

    I agree with Michelle_Sue, try a live trap, if you don't want to get them from the shelter perhaps you can borrow one from somewhere else. Also, there is a movement in some cities to do a catch and re-release of feral cats. You catch them and then have them spayed/neutered and they are re-released. If you are still concerned please go to and get some help for her! They are a no kill shelter. Call or contact them TODAY to get some help! Don't give up! You can save the life of this cat!

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TAYLORLIV31 7/14/2010 12:12AM

    Gayllynne, I'm in tears tinking about your pain both physically and emotionally. You have a heart made of gold. The advise above talks about the live cages, try that as soon as you can. I'll be praying for you. The members are all concerned about you. Menopause makes our emotions extra, so don't worry things will calm down soon. I pray that you catch her soon. emoticon

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RONIE11 7/13/2010 9:44PM

    it sounds like you are going through quite a bit. I'm so sorry about the kitten and I'm so glad you were able to save the little boy.. you need to be happy about that and it sounds like a live trap could get the little girl out for you.. try raylins sardines... You can't give up the idea that she's too ferrel to make a good pet.. not unless you try.. I sure hope your hand heals nicely..and it all works out well... she's just scared..

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    If you put food in the trap, sooner or later the kitten will go in because of hunger. Then, you will be able to do what you wanted in the first place--I would hope you would keep them-- Good Luck!!!---betsy emoticon

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    I agree about the stupidity. I really hate when people will not listen.

But you can use a "live trap" and the ASPCA will loan you one for free. You can set it out with food and water and you should be able to catch her that way. A can of sardines works wonders.

We have caught our chickens and rooster so many times in ours - it will not hurt the kitten, only cage her so you can safely recapture her.

Good luck my friend.

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    Wow! I'm so sorry for all the pain that you and the poor little kitten has gone through!
At least you've gotten the male saved! Most definitely see about getting the live trap! That way you can at least save its life for good and get it the type of life you would like it to live!
Good luck and best wishes!

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    prayers to you.

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LINDA! 7/13/2010 6:28PM

    I am so sorry. I am also an animal lover and know how you must feel. It is such a stupid stunt that the teenagers pulled on you. Wishing you success with finding and helping this kitten.

Comment edited on: 7/13/2010 6:28:44 PM

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SUGARSMOM2 7/13/2010 6:20PM

  You are amazing . so caring so kind . am sorry that the silly teens did not stop and think before they did the most stupid stunt of the year . like teens most do not think beyond the fact that they need to check the latest tunes on the radio. sorry you get cut up cat scratches can become infected . clean they well . emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BHAWLITZ2 7/13/2010 6:19PM

    I'm so sorry for the situation you are in. I have 2 cats and a dog that are definitely members of my family. I go through hoops for all of them. I take our 15 year old cat into the Vet for fluids 3 times a week. He was near death a few months ago, but he has rebounded with the help of the fluids. We spend a small fortune on him, but he's a family member and a living creature so I won't do any other way.

You are doing the best you can do and should be commended for it. You have saved the little boy and hopefully fate will be on your side and you'll be able to catch the female. Don't give up hope. Don't put your health in jeopardy - take care of those hands so they get better. God bless you and good luck.

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MICHELLE_SUE 7/13/2010 6:11PM

I was raised in the country so perhaps my view of things is different, and I feel that you won't care for my answer, but your local animal control probably has live traps. A live trap will not hurt the kitten, and I am sure that they will release her to you. It sounds like your kitten is still in the garage? If so, it should be really easy. A little research on the internet about catching a feral kitten might have saved you days of worry. I am concerned about you, tho. It sounds like you have something else bothering you besides the kitten... emoticon

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Painful day

Saturday, July 10, 2010

I am a huge animal lover. I have worked with animals for over 30 years now and cannot sit by and let any animal suffer.

For the past week, two adorable kittens have been coming to my door to be fed. Of course, I obliged and kept feeding them daily until I could borrow a trap. A couple of days ago I trapped the first one. He is so cute, black and white, but ferral. Before I had him 2 days, he was tamed, purring and we were cuddling him.

His litter mate was more difficult. I finally caught him this morning. Also absolutely adorable, mostly gray with white markings and even more ferral.

This morning my daughter wanted to see the new one because she was asleep when we got him. I told her to be very careful and not let him out as he wasn't tame yet.

When she didn't come back for a very long time I knew something had happened. He got out and she had him trapped in the back room of our garage. I finally cornered him, reached in and grabbed him and he went crazy. He bit clean through two of my fingers, bit more of my hand and scratched my arm very badly. I never let go and got him back into the cage with his brother.

I was a bloody mess and went upstairs and had my daughter call the E.R. They said to come in immediately as these always get infected. I was shaking like a leaf.

We spent several hours in the hospital. The put me on I.V. antibiotics, gave me a tetus shot and I am on heavy duty pain killers.

What a day! I had so much to do today but nothing got done. I didn't even get to see my son leave for camp. Tomorrow will be the telling day. They are worried about severe swelling and tomorrow I will know for sure. I have to watch the kittens for 10 days to make sure they are healthy. least they are safe and will no longer have to worry about them getting hit by a car and they also will no longer be in the wild and breed and create more unwanted animals.

Now, I need to find them a home. Anyone want a pair of cute kittens????

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GEMINI-SKY 7/14/2010 1:10PM

    Hi i had a similar experience last summer. I had mom, dad and 5 babies I was feeding. They all hid im my husbands wood shed inbetween the logs. I had put out food and water and sat there till they would come out and get it. I kept saying It's Ok. They were just to cute not to help. this lasted about a month and then there were only 2. Mom, dad and 3 babies left and I kept feeding the 2...Now called Hoot and Skoot. Hoot is solid black with owl eyes (hoot) and Skoot is a tabby.(always skooting around getting into trouble)
I kinda let them come to me on their own time and then they started following me around the yard. I now have 2 sweet cats 1 yr old that only like me. They are just now starting to warm up to my husband and step son...Ferrels, as you know, are tough little creatures.
Best of luck with them, it's a real challenge.
But chasing them around is a good workout...(the positive side)

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    I hope you're feeling better and healing well!

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SPARTANPHOTOG 7/11/2010 8:03AM

    Wow! Sounds like an eventful day - sounds a lot like my days - never what I planned. Bless you for your kindness to animals. emoticon emoticon

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TAYLORLIV31 7/11/2010 12:37AM

    Wow! You sure had a wild day. I pray that you heal well and that the medicine kicks in fast. I have two kitties, one hell cat that is great as long as he doesn't have to go to the doctor. He acts more like a dog and follows us everywhere. The other has a mild personality and is so sweet. What I can say about both of them is that they come when they are called and we can't live without them. Feel better soon, emoticon emoticon

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MILLIE701 7/10/2010 7:56PM

    Hmm, let me think. Free adorable kitties. Gonna have to say no on this one.

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QUIETCUPOFTEA 7/10/2010 7:53PM

    bless you for caring for these kittens. and i'm sorry about your hand. i hope it all works out for the best. i wish i could adopt your kitties - my husband & boys are allergic. i grew up with many cats and miss their presence. having reached out to these helpless creatures, you make the world a much better place for them. emoticon

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moving my body

Friday, July 02, 2010

Today is a truly glorious day. It's about 70 degrees, not a cloud in the sky and even me, the die hard "I hate to exercise" woman just walked 4 miles. It was really beautiful walking around the lake. A cool breeze was blowing and it went by quickly. It was the first time I managed to get out in quite a while. Very good for me, I know that.

I have been feeling a little better of late but I know I need some help. My BFF Dawn told me she would actually sit with me and help me call some psychiatrists that are on my insurance so I can get help with my depression and anxiety. What a wonderful friend and I am very blessed to have her in my life.

Tomorrow is the huge flea market that I just love. I will spend about half a day there and believe me, I will get lots of walking in!!

Hope everyone has a great holiday weekend!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

K8NJKSMOM 7/14/2010 3:31PM

    Sounds like a lovely walk.

And good luck -you are very fortunate to have such a helpful friend.

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    emoticon emoticon

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MOMMABOF7 7/2/2010 7:28PM

    Your walk around the lake sounds beautiful! Best wishes on finding the right Dr

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TAYLORLIV31 7/2/2010 3:54PM

    Have a great weekend! Happy 4th emoticon

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SOFEDUPP 7/2/2010 12:29PM

    I love the idea of the huge flea market. Have fun!!

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BARCINTL 7/2/2010 11:49AM

    So when are we doing that?!

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Saturday, June 19, 2010

It's hard to admit that I do, very often, suffer with bouts of depression. It's so hard sometimes when life becomes overwhelming, to just stay on an even keel.

Lately, it's been really difficult for me and I see myself spiraling downwards. As a single mom of two teenagers it gets very hard.

My son is really suffering because of the broken arm and ruined summer. He is angry at himself and keeps telling me he screwed up and I keep telling him an accident isn't screwing up. It breaks my heart.

My daughters dad (my kids have different dads) married the wicked witch of the west. She is really horrible to my daughter and does it all with a smile and an "act" of innocence. She now has taken my daughters dad out of town on Father's day and gave her an invite to join them. It would have been a horrible weekend for my daughter and they (she, the witch) have decided to stay extra time into the week to make it impossible for my daughter who has work orientation. She is so sad too. Now I have to be "dad" this weekend and see what I can do with her to make her feel a little better.

Life is hard sometimes. I hate my job but see no way out because I have to pay all the bills and keep a roof over the kids head. I do this with a smile for them but inside I just want to cry. The only thing that has any meaning in my life right now is my kids.

I'm also so fat I find it hard to look in the mirror. Yes, I'm working on that but somehow I feel like I'm spinning my wheels (and not in a good way).

Ok, I've vented. I'm sure I've depressed anyone reading this. I'm sorry if I did. It's just a really bad day.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YOMAMA128 6/19/2010 12:32PM

    Good for you for sharing. My heart goes out to you, as I suffer from time to time myself and it is very painful and very hard. Those of us who know depression from the inside can truly understand how you feel.

The biggest challenge is to remind yourself that it ISN'T YOU... it's the depression. As best you can, be good to yourself
- get out of the house for a walk
- call a friend & tell them how you're feeling
- take a nice bath
- journal
- curl up with a good book
- make a pot of tea
- bring in some flowers from the garden for your table
-blog (you did!!)
-and do your best to focus away from negative thoughts. Those voices can be so overwhelming, and once again it's the depression talking.

I'm so impressed that you wrote a blog about this. You are in a challenging situation, but you are strong and self aware and will get through this. We believe in you!

emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 6/19/2010 12:34:41 PM

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KARIAMBRIZ 6/19/2010 10:35AM

    I have depression as well. I need to get on antidepressants but I don't have the insurance :(

I was a single mom for awhile so I know how you feel.


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MNNURSEKATIE 6/19/2010 10:06AM

    I have suffered with depression for years. I finally decided to go on medication because I just couldn't deal anymore. I also saw a therapist for a long time. I continue to take a low dose of anti-depressant & I feel like a normal functional person. If one stupid pill can make me feel normal & cope with life I figure it's worth it. I have also lost 67 pounds and gained a lot of motivation. I have become so optimistic despite a lot of negative things happening. I have learned to find the positive in life.
Good luck to you with your journey....depression is a terrible thing but you can certainly treat it. It doesn't have to be with medication either. There are lots of things that can improve it.
I hope your day get's better.

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A difficult time

Thursday, June 17, 2010

This has been a really difficult week for me. On Tuesday, at baseball practice, my son broke his arm. Poor kid. He was so excited about this summer. He was on a county team that had scouted him and he had great potential to improve his already great skills. He was going to wrestling camp where he was going to get a little leg up when he tried out for the high school team. This was the summer of his dreams! Everything is over, done. He is devastated and my heart hurts for him.

Yesterday, at the orthopedics office the Dr. told us that it could have been so much worse. The crack in the bone hadn't separated and if he didn't hurt that arm again for a month, it would heal quickly. He said had it been just a little worse he would have needed surgery, screws in his arm and a long rehab. We really dodged a bullet.....or did we?

When I had a moment to just breathe and reflect on everything I realized that this happened on the anniversary of my mother's passing. It was two years ago that she died.

You may all think that I'm nuts but I truly believe she was watching out for him. She loved her family and her grandchildren were everything! Actually, about 6 months after her passing I was in the city (NYC) and I was just about to cross a street when I felt a weird tug at the back of my shirt and stepped back. There was no one behind me and at that moment there was a car accident right in front of me. Had I been walking there, I would have been killed. To this day I believe my mom pulled me back.

It's ok if you think I'm a little nuts. You won't be the only one but I do believe she watches over her family.

Now I have to figure out what I'm going to do with my one handed son this summer.

Like I said, it's been a tough week.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANAJULI 6/23/2010 7:20AM

    I was reading your blog and I did a double take when I read when your mom died. My mom went to be with God on June 15, 2009. Yes, she is watching us and taking care of us, just like she always did.

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DALMOMOF3 6/17/2010 5:29PM

    I dont think you are nuts, i had a sister passed away and have had my own experiences!! Your mom is always with you. I sympathize with you about your son, it is going to be a loooooong summer. Poor kid in a cast! That is just awful!! Hope things look up for you, Remember, as a mother, a mothers love is endless, so i would not be surprised if it even surpasses death and she continues to watch out for you still!! emoticon emoticon

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JUDYK17 6/17/2010 1:01PM

    Your mother never leaves you, that is what I was told by a minister that knew our family. After the service he told me that she will always live on in my heart. I see her often just out of the corner of my eye or smell her perfume.
I totally believe your mother is watching over you and your family. I'm glad that your son's arm will heal quickly.

Comment edited on: 6/17/2010 1:01:33 PM

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    emoticon And you're not crazy, either!

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K8NJKSMOM 6/17/2010 11:40AM

    My heart goes out to you and to your son. That is so disappointing for him to have such an injury at the beginning of the summer.

I do believe that your mother was watching out for him - and for you. I am with you in believing that our family continues to watch over us.

I hope that your son is able to take it easy with his arm so that he heals it quickly. So hard, though, when you are an active boy.


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SOFEDUPP 6/17/2010 10:44AM

    I believe your mother has been watching out for you and your family. She will always be making sure that your family is safe.

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