GAYLLYNNE   207,998
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Thursday, February 28, 2008

Today I sneaked a peek at my weight. I never do that just weighing myself on Sunday. What I expected was a pound gone and instead I was a pound up!!! I was so horrified and upset. I haven't gone off my diet at all. Yes, I'm eating the correct food now, making sure I'm actually getting enough calories but I've kicked up my workout a bit too.

I called my friend "BARCINTL" telling her how upset I was. When she told me to calm down she asked what I ate differently yesterday. I couldn't think of anything and really started to sink down. Later in the day when I was putting away some groceries I realized that there was a pickle jar that I had opened and had a few.

All that salt!! I am hoping that that was the problem. I've decided not to weigh myself until Sunday when I'm supposed to. Hopefully, that pound will be gone maybe with a friend or two :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YANKSGIRL1 2/28/2008 11:26PM

    This is one reason I don't even weigh myself weekly. Of course, my weight is staying almost exactly the same. sad The scale can be a friend - if it goes the way you want it to!! My guess is even when you were thin, the scale was never your friend. Sadly, that seems to be how it was for many of us. When you go on those 45 minute walks try to have a clear head and think only about the positive stuff - it is a great time to de-stress. Of course, this is coming from someone that finds it easier to say than do! If you find yourself thinking of all the things you could do and should do while walking - you may want to try to find a quiet room and turn off all the TVs, stereos . . . and just sit in the quiet for a couple minutes and do some slow deep breathing. Not an easy thing to do; but gets easier with every attempt. Or just find some quiet time with one or both pets and clear your head.

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_RAMONA 2/28/2008 9:45PM

    Just breathe, Gayllynne! You'd have to eat 3500 extra calories in a day over and above what you burned through exercise and what you needed for your body to function to gain a pound. It may well have been the pickles, but it could also have been because you "kicked up your workout a bit"... check this out:

"Q: I just started exercising to lose weight, but I've gained weight. Why did this happen?

A: It's true that many people either gain a little weight or don't see any change on the scale for as long as 4-6 weeks after making a significant change in their level of exercise. This is often explained as "gaining muscle while losing fat" but that isn't quite accurate. This extra weight is usually water.

When you start doing more exercise, your body begins storing more fuel in your muscle cells, where it can be used easily and quickly to fuel your workouts. The process of converting glucose (carbohydrates) into fuel that your muscles actually store and use (glycogen) requires three molecules of water for every molecule of glucose. As your muscles are building up glycogen stores, your body has to retain extra water for this purpose. That's what causes most of the initial weight gain or lack of weight loss. This is a good thing—not something to worry about.

However, despite what the scale says, you are actually losing fat during this time. The extra water retention will stop once your body has adjusted to its new activity level. At that point, the scale should start moving down. You'll end up with less fat, and muscles that can handle a larger amount of work. "

You're being awfully hard on yourself today. Have you done something good and nurturing just for you today? It's not to late... and maybe you should hide your scale for a while, and just focus on giving yourself credit for the good you are doing for yourself, without needing the scale to validate you for it. The weight will go away... fretting doesn't burn calories, in fact it stimulates cortisole production in your body which makes your body resistant to losing weight. RELAX! :)

{{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}

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BARCINTL 2/28/2008 9:39PM

    Be sure to also tell them that I'm responsible for you walking 45 minutes instead of 30 minutes a day and why. Thank you :)

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I hate myself today :(

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

I know, I know, I should be thrilled I've lost 5 lbs. Yes, it's great, when I got out of the shower and saw how really fat I am right now, I just got angry at myself for doing that. There is no one to blame but me for doing this to myself. I never had a weight problem before until my hysterectomy which came just at the same time as my divorce. Yes, it was tough, very. but I never should have lost control and made myself blow up like this.

It is almost impossible for me to look in the mirror. Believe it or not, I can go days without really looking. A quick hair comb in the morning and maybe a glimpse when I'm brushing my teeth.

I realize I'm just venting right now but I hate the way I look. Yes, I know there is nothing more than what I'm doing already that can be done but I'm not really happy right now.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_RAMONA 2/28/2008 2:19PM

    I hear you, Gayllynne. My first feeling every morning os disappointment that the weight is still here. I have to make a conscious effort to shake off the self-loathing and love myself for the new wisdom I have acquired that will get me 'back to the future'. The last two weeks I was upset that while my pounds decreased, my inches didn't. This week I'm upset because the pounds aren't decreasing, yet when I grabbed the tape measure out of frustration, I found a significant loss of inches. It appears it will be one or the other with me, but not both. And with each upset I come to realize that this process is shaping me leaps and bounds beyond the physical changes. Those feel good every day.

Go easy on yourself, today. Love yourself up in some way. At the time you did the best you could. Now that you know better you are doing better. That's all anyone can ask of themselves.

{{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}

ve is the only weight-loss aid that really works in the long run." JENNY CRAIG

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FOODFROMAFAR 2/28/2008 12:12AM

    Hi, Gayllynne! I just tuck all those thoughts and memories of disgusted glimpses of myself in the mirror into my "Don't Want To Go Back There EVER" file. When I begin to lose motivation, I just remember how I felt before I reached goal and "don't want to go back there ever" carries me through. May as well put those thoughts and feelings to a good, positive use! Congrats on beginnning your journey. You will get there!!!

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BARCINTL 2/27/2008 9:24AM

    Don't let this get you off the path to your goal! You are doing great and you shouldn't let anything get you off-track. Recommit, now. I sent you a message on Yahoo regarding going Nordic Walking next weekend to test it out--let's do it!

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DIANNEYME 2/27/2008 9:23AM

    Please don't beat yourself up over the past - folks gain lots of weight for much worse reasons than yours! The point is - it's in the past, and now you have the opportunity to move forward in a positive manner. Losing five pounds is a great place to start!

We're all here for you to vent to anytime you need to - and we will support you.

Thank you, by the way, for your comments on my blog :-)


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L.I.L.MOMMY 2/27/2008 6:16AM

    I completely understand what you are going through, that was me when I first started my journey.....just remember permanent change takes will get there.

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YANKSGIRL1 2/26/2008 11:45PM

    I am so sorry to read what you wrote. I hope in time you begin to feel better about yourself. You should be proud not so much of the weight loss but of the positive changes you are making including being on this site and chatting with people. I have ben called chunky a couple times in the last week and that was a bit weird to hear b/c it used to be how teeny I was. Weird thing is being called Chunky was easier for me to accept; but that only makes sense actually now that I think about it. It is easier to handle negative speak than anything that might be deemed positive. Keep on doing what you are doing and smile about whatever you can. It truly does help.

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SUGARSHOCK 2/26/2008 11:03PM

    think hard girl,you didn' t end in divorce,it was nothing more than an escape route to a new's all up to you.venting is good,you can't go back,only forward....look up ahead to the bend in the road,don't you feel the need to round the bend and see what wonders lie ahead,with this in mind and a positive attitude,things can only get better..
your friend, Johnny { sugarshock }

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TBUCKNER 2/26/2008 10:28PM

    Hello Gayllynne, I saw your blog posted on the cholesterol support group, where I am also a member. I joined Sparks about a week before you did. I decided to visit your blog after reading the title, as I've had those days too. I think it is wonderful that you hold yourself accountable, I seriously do, but at the same time, there are so many things that happen in our life, we get busy, (especially with kids!) and there is that time when time seem to stop for a minute and you wonder just how the heck you got here. -During the time from then to now, you were probably busy taking care of your kid's, and after visiting your page, it looks like you've been through a lot! A divorce? A hysterectomy? My God woman, give yourself a medal for not going insane! And instead of giving up, you've found a solution to a problem. Seriously, sometimes as busy as we are it seems like all this happened overnight -but we know it didn't. And I'm sure you know it takes time. Remember what you don't like in the mirror today will be changed in the future, and most importantly you are not alone. I just wanted to visit your page, and offer you support. Remember support is just a click away. I think we belong to several of the same groups, so I truly hope I see you around. Take care and my best to you...Tammy

Comment edited on: 2/26/2008 10:27:51 PM

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Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Since I gave up sugary, processed and just plain bad-for-food, I've found that I just don't eat enough! I know I'm not getting enough protein and there are days when I can't even get my caloric content up to 800!! I know this isn't good and it's going to slow down my weight loss. When I wake up in the morning I'm weak!

I don't eat red meat at all and my protein comes mostly from poultry and dairy.

I know I could be headed for disaster if this continues because no one can sustain a lifestyle of eating so little without consequences!!!

Does anyone have any ideas????

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YANKSGIRL1 2/26/2008 11:49PM

    Good luck! I have the same issues. How sickening is that? We don't eat enough and yet gained weight. Does not seem fair does it?
Do you like peanut butter, nuts, soy, . . . there are some great articles about protein through this site. I had looked up that before myself soon after I first joined and realized how little protein I eat.
I try to eat cheese and yogurt. ALSO, I have Special K's protein water mixes. I mix them pretty weak and I get my water more that way too. There is some sugar in that though. Kashi cereals have quite a bit of protein, not sure if that is bad food though for you.

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L.I.L.MOMMY 2/26/2008 12:58PM

    Seems as though Ramona covered everything. Also have you incorporated beans , fish/shellfish into your diet...good sources of protein. Also check out the sparkpeople recipes for ideas, it's a great resource.

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_RAMONA 2/26/2008 11:32AM

    Hi! Good job cleaning up your nutritional house!

There are lots of things that can boost your calories - fruits high in calories include bananas & avocados, add whole grain carbs (oatmeal), 1% milk, yogurt, nuts and seeds, protein shakes are good (made with protein powder and your own ingredients - milk, yogurt, frozen fruit - the shake mixes and meal replacement shakes can be high in calories and sugar).

Here are some SparkLinks you can look at for ideas, too!

"Some people have problems eating enough calories when they try to avoid dietary fat—especially by always choosing low-fat or non-fat versions of common foods. So try to find some good sources of "healthy fats" (the monounsaturated fat in nuts, olive and canola oils, avocados, etc.), and foods high in Omega-3 fatty acids, like flax seed, salmon, or tuna. The following articles will help you boost your overall calorie intake and choose healthy fats to add to your meals and snacks:

Nutrition Reference Guide: Fats and Oils

Calorie-Boosting Tips

The Mega Benefits of Omega-3's

I eat a really clean diet and I have no trouble getting my calories in. Feel free to take a look at my food log if you'd like. It might give you some ideas.

Keep going! You're doing great!

Comment edited on: 2/26/2008 11:31:56 AM

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PAGEROKS 2/26/2008 10:33AM

    Eggs, nut butters (peanuts/almond), beans, pork tenderloin, fish (salmon), and soy are all good sources of protein. Eggs are high fat so you may want to look at other sources but once in a while are good. Make sure your getting your serving of fruit/veggies as you can eat a good bit without adversely effecting your numbers. I hope this helps.

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GIRLINMOTION 2/26/2008 8:56AM

    Protein can come from natural peanut butter (no sugar) and other nuts. You can increase your fruit and veggies. If you don't have more calories you will just be defeating yourself because your body thinks it is starving and that is not good for your organs.

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5 lbs in 3 weeks, not to shabby!

Sunday, February 24, 2008

I made it through. This week wasn't easy but I made it. I actually went out twice, my boyfriend was over for most of the week so eating and exercising according to "plan" was really a challenge. I didn't want to be challenged so early into my lifestyle change but there wasn't anything I could nor wanted to do about it.

Today I finished my third week and had a one pound drop. Not huge but not a gain either. I am really REALLY ok with it. That makes a total of 5 lbs. I wish I could "complain" that things were to big on me but that just hasn't happened yet. Although now, I no longer fear the washer/dryer. If I wash something, it will fit after the dryer.

So, I am starting my 4th week today. Wow, that went fast. I'm stronger, healthier and looking forward to the new/old me!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

L.I.L.MOMMY 2/26/2008 12:19PM

    Oh how I miss the days when the scale would's so motivating....that's a pretty good weight loss for three weeks...way to go!

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SUGARSHOCK 2/25/2008 11:39PM

    hello again my 1st spark friend....that's really good for 3 weeks. think of how easily you'll be able to do all the things you love to do,and have all the guys breaking their necks to turn their heads and see just what you've achieved by determination,persistence, and the love of life it's self.....don't be a stranger, treat everyday as if there is no tomorrow......then treat tomorrow the same as today...don't let it slip away....{SUGARSHOCK}

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BARCINTL 2/25/2008 6:14AM

    5lbs in 3 weeks--I'd kill for that loss these days! That's almost 87 lbs a year...nothing to sneeze at!

You're doing great and looking great and I'm proud of you.

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2 more lbs gone!!!

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Woohoo!!! Another two down which makes 4 lbs in two weeks. I couldn't be happier. Next week is going to be a challenge. I have a lot of work to do and it's hard to eat when I'm working so I am going to have to bring healthy, low calories things with me to munch on during the day.

In addition, my boyfriend is coming to spend the week with me. My children are going to CA with their dad and I have the entire week to myself. We haven't seen each other in several months because of circumstances, but he was my rock when I thought I had breast cancer. He will be supportive but he likes meals and loves for me to bake for him (I did promise).

I am going to take one day at a time. I have told him my goals and I will get through this.

Yay!!! 4 down!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLUECHEESE1 2/21/2008 11:34PM

    It's not easy.. but it is good. :) don't give up.

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BARCINTL 2/18/2008 5:08PM

    You look great--those 4 lbs have made a difference, especially in your face!

I told you--don't let cooking for your boyfriend be a torture for you--cook things you don't like, like banana cupcakes. I'm sure he'll understand; after all, who would want to put their girlfriend through that kind of torture?

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DIANNEYME 2/18/2008 1:18PM

    Congratulations, Gayle! Great work!! Just take it one day at a time - you can do this!



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MOVEWOO 2/17/2008 12:43PM

    congrats on the wait lost. For your boyfriend, invite him in to cook with you a find a new healthy recipe you both would enjoy, it'll turn the heat up in more ways then one...

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