GAYLLYNNE   204,648
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GAYLLYNNE's Recent Blog Entries

Thoughts of my son and other info

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Yesterday, as I was walking around the lake I started to think about my son. He has grown in so many ways over the last year. He's close to 5'4" now and about 130 lbs. Not bad for a 12 year old. He is still funny and sweet and will still hug and kiss me when he wants to.

I was thinking about when he was little. How hard it was for him (and me) because he was born with his Eustachian tubes at an odd angle. He couldn't really hear properly till he was past 2. He had 5 operations before he was 4. It was tough for all of us because he never slept through the night until after the final operation. Yes, 4 years of holding him in the rocker all night long. He couldn't lay flat because it was so painful.

He was a total terror when he was younger too. Impossible to watch as he never stopped moving. He once ran away from his dad and I in Sears. They had to completely shut down the store, no one in or out until they could find him. It took about 1/2 hour before someone found him. He had been shopping. He had on numerous bracelets and necklaces. He had a roll of wrapping paper in one hand and a pliers in the other. He had been all over the store and no one stopped him. OMG, I really thought I would have a heart attack. Sure, funny now but not then!!

I also remember the time we were going into Costco. There was a woman going in. A very large woman who chose (why, I'll never know) to wear an orange and green plaid pants suit. Not only that but it had a ruffle around the neck. I was pushing my son in the cart and he just pointed to her and said (very loudly), "Look mom, a clown!!!" Yes, I was mortified but what could I do? I just kept going.

I miss that little boy even though I never had gray hair before him. I do love the little man that I live with now though. He opens jars for me, he reaches things I can't and he has become more of a joy and less of a terror. I'm a lucky mom.

On a different note. I didn't lose any weight this week. That hasn't happened in a long time but then again I didn't gain any either. I worked hard this week too with exercise and watching. I'm really not upset. It will come off because I'm doing everything I can to make that so. Next week, I'll lose! I'm not giving up.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLINDBETH 5/27/2008 8:47PM

    I do love being the mother of two boys... and I love the things that they can say. And luckily, I have fond memories of some of the things that they can say and do.

This past weekend, as I was getting my oldest son ready for his high school graduation, I realized that the youngest wasn't even in the shower. When I went to wake him up, he said, "Do I have to go?" I wasn't very kind with my wording... and he went. :) Tsk... As if he even thought that it would be ok to skip out on his brother's graduation. Of course, his brother could have cared less.

And these boys will one day be husbands and fathers...

Thanks for reaffirming that boys are a hoot to raise!

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GIRLINMOTION 5/27/2008 9:17AM

    Great reflection of your son. They do grow so quickly (mine is 11 and in ball too). My mother went through much of what you did with your son and the ear situation with me (though mine was not that severe and caused by serious ear infections, 2 operations for me as a child, nearly deaf in my left ear), I can relate to the many issues your son went through, but as you say he is growing into an amazing young man.

Yes, your will lose, we are not giving up on you either. You can do it!

Hugs, Sonia

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ANOTHERAMY 5/26/2008 11:47PM

    Thanks for sharing your stories about your son - I had to smile because my son is 3 and an absolute terror. I need reminders that I need to enjoy my time with this little wild man because he will be grown before I know it.

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NISSEGIRL 5/26/2008 2:11PM

    4 years of rocking him all night long? Anybody who says motherhood is easy is crazy.

I really enjoyed this post, especially since my son is 2, and beginning tantrums and all the other joys of toddlerhood. I know these are precious years, but every once in awhile I need to be reminded.

thanks, Nisse

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That dirty "O" word

Friday, May 23, 2008

Obese. Yes, that dirty word (what did you think?). I had never thought about that word until I came to spark people. When I joined and programmed in my height and weight etc., my body came out to be obese. I was shocked. Me? How could someone who was used to nicknames such as "little one" and "little Gayl" be obese. But, there it was in black and white. How did I get there??

Yes, hysterectomy, divorce, lumpectomy they all contributed. It's been a tough few years for sure, but obese? I can remember, just before starting S/P, walking into a store that had a sign which read: "Plus size 12 and up, this side". I'm a plus size??? How did that happen. I ran from that store.

Now, I have hit the half way point. I am no longer obese. Overweight, yes, but obese, no. I never, ever will be again. It really brought me to my knees and made me look at who and what I have become. Since I didn't like what I saw, I changed it.

Easy?? Heck no!! But necessary in order to be the best me I can be. I will be a better mom, better friend and better person if I can be happier about who/what I am.

So, this morning I walked the lake. It was a beautiful day and I finally was able to walk those three miles in 45 mins. I even added some time by walking to and from the lake instead of driving.

I'm changing. Not only on the outside but inside too. I want to go backwards as I move forward. Backwards to the person I used to be. Happy, confident and not horrified to look in the mirror. Forward to the new me that my friends and family can be proud of.

I'm here, I'm working hard, I'm staying.

Happy Memorial Day Weekend to all my SparkPeople friends!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BARCINTL 5/24/2008 7:38PM

    Going backwards is a good thing. I just went back 20 years, both weight-wise and career-wise. Not an easy thing and it takes some guts to give up the last two decades (of eating mindlessly, etc), but it's worth moving forward. You're worth it and you'll get to the place of what you need.

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TAMMI1963 5/24/2008 4:05PM

    Your's is a truly inspiring blog entry. Keep up the good work.

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NAOMIJGH 5/23/2008 2:42PM

    While a wise friend said that the number on the size tag doesn't matter, labels of all sorts do make an impression on us. Like you, I got to a point where I just didn't like what I was seeing any more and decided I had to make a change. A little push from the orthopedist about the damage carrying extra weight will do to my arthritic hip didn't hurt, either.

Rockland Lake is a bit out of the way for me, but you never know...

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CELESTE5104 5/23/2008 1:52PM

    Good for you Gayl:) You are on the right track to being a healthier you. You are doing a great job! I look forward to seeing you progress along too. Best of luck and have a great weekend.

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TANSHAN1 5/23/2008 12:28PM

    Girlfriend I feel your pain..how about "MORBIDLY OBESE" at 14??

I was, had my stomach stapled..never learned to eat right or about nutrition and am back up too the same spot 27 years later...

But this time is for real and the right way and for ME!!
WE can do this!

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WINNA01 5/23/2008 12:08PM

    Yea! Reading your entry was inspiring! Congrats on your progress and good luck!

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Walking in the rain

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

I was lucky enough to get out of work a little early today. I decided that I would walk around the lake before I got home because I had this extra time. As I got near my home it started to rain. Drat! As I got closer to the lake (5 mins from my house) it cleared up and I decided to go for it. Being smart, I pulled my umbrella out before I started.

I had gone about 1/2 mile and it started to drizzle. For a moment I thought about turning back but decided to stick it out. It poured all day yesterday and I did no exercise at all. So, I walked.

It rained some, it stopped a little then it rained some more. I hated it even more than usual as I was cold and WET! But....I did it. No excuses, no fan fare, just getting it done.

I really want to be under 140 by July 4th. It's my new goal and in order to make it I have to do everything right. This includes eating right, exercising and drinking the water.

Hopefully, tomorrow I will be able to get out early, walk the lake and then forget about it for the rest of the day. As usual, I take everything in stride!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLINDBETH 5/22/2008 6:10AM

    Yay! Way to go! That is some real dedication to stick it out in COLD rain. I'm impressed! emoticon

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Pleasant surprises

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Tomorrow is my birthday. Today is my boyfriend's birthday. Tonight is the big party!!! Woohoo, I'm so excited I can't stand it. It will be the first time I'm meeting some of his friends and it will be the first time some of my friends are meeting him. It's going to be great!!! My dear friend Dawn is having the party at her house. Isn't that a fantastic gift??? I'm so blessed to have her in my life!

As you all know, I was trying to lose 20 lbs by my birthday, which I did last week. It has been a tough week since. Mother's Day was not easy and I know I went over my calorie limit but it was worth every bite. I didn't go over again all week but exercise was rare. I was just so busy and those walks around the lake were stymied because of so much rain.

I decided to weigh in this morning instead of tomorrow morning after the party. I'm smart like that *grin*. Much to my surprise I lost ANOTHER POUND!!! Wow!!! 21 lbs. Too bad I'm not turning 21 hahahahaha, but I am really pleased. 30 lbs by the end of July is doable now, but I'm not going to get nuts if I don't make it. I'm just going to stay strong.

Happy Birthday Mike!!!! (he's not here but I just felt like saying that)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSCHREF 5/19/2008 4:19PM

    Happy birthday to you both! Isn't it nice to see that July goal as possible? emoticon

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KATIE233 5/19/2008 2:06PM

    hi thanks for stopping bye my spark page. come again. what a nice birthday present losing 21lbs great job! keep going. have a great week.

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TAMMI1963 5/17/2008 12:33PM

    Happy Birthday to both of you. Congrats on the 21 lb weight loss. You should easily hit your goal by July. Have a great time at the party tonight. emoticon

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CELESTE5104 5/17/2008 10:14AM

    Happy Birthday to you both:) You should be very proud of yourself for losing your 20lbs plus one!!!!! Being consistent is a great thing. So this week wasn't the best, that's okay. Just make next week count. Have a good time tonight too:)

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BARCINTL 5/17/2008 9:45AM

    Yay for persistence! And happy birthday to you too, Gayl :)

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My pink sweater and other thoughts

Monday, May 12, 2008

Over this past winter I saw this pretty pink sweater. I love things in the pink family from bright pink to purple and baby pinks to lavenders. This was such a pretty color I thought I'd get it to wear over the holidays paired with some black slacks. I bought a size....sigh....large. I brought it home but got very busy before I could try it on.

One evening I was going out to dinner with friends. I spotted the sweater (vee neck, long sleeve, light weight) and thought it would be the perfect thing. I put it on and looked in the mirror and was horrified. I looked like a sausage. My arms bulged, I could see fat around my mid-section and it was tight over the chest. I nearly cried. I pulled it off and put on something loose that hid "me".

Yesterday, Mother's day, my ex (the good one, I have two) called the children and told them he was driving up and taking us all out for Mother's day. I was told to dress-up. Wow! I found some pretty, black pants that I haven't worn in a while that fit great but what to wear on top? hmmmm LOL - bet you are wondering hehehe. Out came that pretty, pink sweater. Did it fit? No, not really because it just hung on me. It was huge. I kind of hiked up the bottom, pushed up the sleeves and it was pretty albeit blousey. My teenage daughter (the fashionesta) told me it was a little big but looked nice and made me look really thin!! That was the best part of Mother's Day!!

As for the restaurant. We went to one of the two 5 star restaurants in the area. I love this place and haven't eaten there in a very long time. YUM!! That was the difficult part. I had the scallops for an appetizer and the duck for an entrée. I love duck but it was so rich I only ate about the size of a golf ball. They had dessert too and I had something I've never seen before which was orange nougat. It was yummy but I didn't even come close to finishing it. It was more food than I've eaten in months!!!

Today I am back on track. As a matter of fact I woke up and was still full. I have no desire to eat yet and am going to save breakfast for later. That's probably a no-no but I just sooooo not hungry!!

I hope this doesn't affect my weigh loss this week but if it does, that's ok because I had the most wonderful time and I looked great and it was all worth it. If I gained a pound then I will just have to lose it again and a few more of its friends!!!

Hope everyones Mother's day was a nice as mine. Oh, and my children brought me flowers too!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLINDBETH 5/15/2008 6:15AM

    Don't you just love when tight clothes become big clothes?! I have a several pants that are very loose around my waist and sag in my rear now... but until I can get some replacements, I'm still wearing them.

Maybe you can dry the sweater a little to shrink it... Now, if it would only be that easy for use to get smaller.

Have a great day!


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DORY.A 5/14/2008 8:54AM

    Woohoo Gayle!! You are doing soooooooo well! Congrats on achieving your 20 lb loss goal EARLY!! You rock!

It sounds like you had a wonderful Mothers Day! You deserve it!

Have a great week!

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FOODFROMAFAR 5/13/2008 12:46AM

    I love your pink sweater story!

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