GAYLLYNNE   193,370
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My pink sweater and other thoughts

Monday, May 12, 2008

Over this past winter I saw this pretty pink sweater. I love things in the pink family from bright pink to purple and baby pinks to lavenders. This was such a pretty color I thought I'd get it to wear over the holidays paired with some black slacks. I bought a size....sigh....large. I brought it home but got very busy before I could try it on.

One evening I was going out to dinner with friends. I spotted the sweater (vee neck, long sleeve, light weight) and thought it would be the perfect thing. I put it on and looked in the mirror and was horrified. I looked like a sausage. My arms bulged, I could see fat around my mid-section and it was tight over the chest. I nearly cried. I pulled it off and put on something loose that hid "me".

Yesterday, Mother's day, my ex (the good one, I have two) called the children and told them he was driving up and taking us all out for Mother's day. I was told to dress-up. Wow! I found some pretty, black pants that I haven't worn in a while that fit great but what to wear on top? hmmmm LOL - bet you are wondering hehehe. Out came that pretty, pink sweater. Did it fit? No, not really because it just hung on me. It was huge. I kind of hiked up the bottom, pushed up the sleeves and it was pretty albeit blousey. My teenage daughter (the fashionesta) told me it was a little big but looked nice and made me look really thin!! That was the best part of Mother's Day!!

As for the restaurant. We went to one of the two 5 star restaurants in the area. I love this place and haven't eaten there in a very long time. YUM!! That was the difficult part. I had the scallops for an appetizer and the duck for an entrée. I love duck but it was so rich I only ate about the size of a golf ball. They had dessert too and I had something I've never seen before which was orange nougat. It was yummy but I didn't even come close to finishing it. It was more food than I've eaten in months!!!

Today I am back on track. As a matter of fact I woke up and was still full. I have no desire to eat yet and am going to save breakfast for later. That's probably a no-no but I just sooooo not hungry!!

I hope this doesn't affect my weigh loss this week but if it does, that's ok because I had the most wonderful time and I looked great and it was all worth it. If I gained a pound then I will just have to lose it again and a few more of its friends!!!

Hope everyones Mother's day was a nice as mine. Oh, and my children brought me flowers too!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLINDBETH 5/15/2008 6:15AM

    Don't you just love when tight clothes become big clothes?! I have a several pants that are very loose around my waist and sag in my rear now... but until I can get some replacements, I'm still wearing them.

Maybe you can dry the sweater a little to shrink it... Now, if it would only be that easy for use to get smaller.

Have a great day!

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DORY.A 5/14/2008 8:54AM

    Woohoo Gayle!! You are doing soooooooo well! Congrats on achieving your 20 lb loss goal EARLY!! You rock!

It sounds like you had a wonderful Mothers Day! You deserve it!

Have a great week!

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FOODFROMAFAR 5/13/2008 12:46AM

    I love your pink sweater story!

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I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Yesterday was a long but mostly fun day. In the morning, I had breakfast as usual. Then, I took my son and a friends daughter and her friend to a huge garage sale. It's more like a flea market with 100's of vendors. I knew I wasn't really going to have time to exercise but I figured walking this place was doing at least a couple of miles. I didn't find anything great either (I wanted a baseball bat for my son but there wasn't any). We had fun and got home about 4:30ish. I had to get my son to the ballpark by 5:15 so it was a scramble to get him fed and dressed and over there. I quickly came home and made a fruit salad with yogurt for me and took it to the game. I was starving and hadn't had anything since breakfast.

I ate at the game while jumping up and down, rooting for his team. I will not get into the game(s) because they were heart breaking. The other team's coach cheated. He put in a child that wasn't in the line up and when he got caught the child should have been considered an out. It would have ended the game but the umpire shrugged and let the child that was supposed to be there play. It was just awful and they ended up losing a game they had clearly won. This was a double header with the same team and it ended at 10 pm. BTW, the first game was played under official protest.

By the time I got home I was too tired to eat anything. I made my son an omelette and put him to bed.

This morning is weigh in. Did I lose the pound I had hoped to lose. Nope.....I LOST TWO POUNDS!!! I am now down 20 lbs. I wanted to be down 20 by my birthday next week and I'm a week early!! I made it to my second goal!! What a great Mother's Day gift to myself.

Happy Mothers Day to all the wonderful mothers on this site. May it be a great day for you all!!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLINDBETH 5/12/2008 5:47AM

    Yay! That is how we like it!

Now don't forget to reward yourself. Soon, you are going to need to buy some new clothes to fit your skinny self!

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MYHAT50 5/12/2008 12:00AM

    Happy Mother's Day to you!!! Way to go!!! It is always a great treat when you reach a goal! I am happy for you!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FOODFROMAFAR 5/11/2008 11:14PM

    emoticon emoticon

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NEWBUTTERFLY76 5/11/2008 8:22PM


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TAMMI1963 5/11/2008 8:07PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

I am really happy for you!!

Great job.

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One more week to my second goal...will I make it???

Friday, May 09, 2008

My second goal is to lose 20 lbs by my birthday (May 18). I've lost 18 so far and a sneak peak of the scale tells me that I will probably be down another one by Sunday (my weigh in day). I am so happy!!!! Looks like I am right on target.

As I go along, well into my 4th month here, it's getting easier and harder. It is easier to stay on track but harder for the weight to come off. When I got out of the shower today I finally noticed a difference in my body. Not a huge difference but definitely "less" of me. I know that the next 10 lbs will make more of a difference than the last 20!!!

So, I'm really happy to be on track. I am having a birthday party next weekend along with my boyfriend (his birthday is the day before mine!). My great friend Dawn is having it at her house and it might be the first time in all these months I go "off" for a bit. It's kind of scary but if I keep focused I can get right back on track (I may need some help around here LOL - but I want this so much). I intend to taste my birthday cake but not an entire piece!

Next goal = in sight

Will post the goal after that soon!!! Wish me luck!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MYHAT50 5/11/2008 11:56PM

    Congratulations! You are doing very well! Hope you have a great Birthday Party!
Woo Hoo!

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SIRENA3 5/11/2008 9:15AM

    Congratulations on your weight loss! Great job. You can certainly lose the rest, because you have proved you can do it! Hang in there and continue with your program! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KRHRN97 5/10/2008 6:58PM

    You should be very proud of yourself. You are doing awesome. Continued success and thank you for commenting on my blog. It is a slow journey but one I know we can make. Karen

Comment edited on: 5/10/2008 6:57:09 PM

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BLINDBETH 5/10/2008 7:46AM

    Gay... you can do it! Pump up the protein and fiber and keep exercising (you are doing so good!) and it will all fall in place.

Happy Early Birthday!

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TAMMI1963 5/9/2008 8:38PM

    You are going GREAT!!! I'm soooo HAPPY for you - YAY!!! I have no doubt you'll reach your next goal but I'll keep my fingers crossed for you anyway. emoticon

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Better today

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Thank you to everyone for all the encourgement that you've given me. Today, before I left for work, I put a fiber bar in my car. When I got back to my car to come home, I ate it. It seemed to work. It gave me enough energy to stop back at the lake and yes, walk around it. Not only that but I have an appointment and to make sure I wasn't late, I moved!!!

For me, I think the key is to not be so hungry. I work very hard and have been eating breakfast like a good girl (I never ate breakfast before I started SparkPeople) but I find that by 3 or 4 o'clock I'm starving! I used to be able to go along without a problem but now that I eat breakfast I can't make it. I realize that I have to eat something before I walk the lake or I'm kind of useless!! My brain function is down and I slip into the "who cares" mode.

I'm ok, really. I did what I had to do today. Thank you Dory for the Wii idea!! We actually have one (although I have no idea how to use it) and I remember how much of a workout my son gets playing some of those games!! Now THAT'S an idea!!

Also, thanks ShadyMaya. It was the kick in the pants I needed!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLINDBETH 5/8/2008 6:33AM

    Yay! I'm glad you are feeling better!

And about the bars... I've learned that certain protein bars help me more before a workout than the fiber ones. The fiber ones made me the smelly kid... really. My stomach just can't swing all that fiber.

Have a great day!

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Anger and frustration

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Some days, I find it very difficult to not be angry and frustrated. Today was awful in terms of exercise. I stopped on my way home to walk the lake. I hate it, just as I hate most exercise, but it is the least evil. As I got about 10 mins. into the walk, it started to rain. I got angry. I had been held up because of traffic and had I not wasted those 40 mins. going nowhere I would have been finished. I turned around and went back to my car. I doubt I even walked a full mile.

Once I got to my car, the rain stopped. Now I was angry and frustrated! Should I start over? That would have been the right thing to do but I didn't. Instead, I went home. Of course, that made me really angry at myself. I have to admit I was hungry. I had been working all day. I was up at 6:30 and had breakfast at about 6:45. I hadn't eaten since. Maybe my blood sugar was low but I was really angry. At what I wonder? Myself for getting into this mess of fat? Probably.

I went home and ate my salad. I feel a little better. In the three months I've been working on this I have never gone over my calories. But the exercise gets me every time. I know I should go back to the lake and walk but I'm not going to. I just don't feel like it. Tomorrow, if there is time, I'll do it.

Part of this anger and frustration is my clothes. I went through my closet and gave away a HUGE bag of clothes I no longer wear. Most of them I still can't get into but has long gone out of style. The jeans I pulled out are all to tiny and I wonder if I will ever get into them. Some of the 12 stuff still fit? What's up with that? I thought for sure it would all be to big but it wasn't.

Ok, ok, now I see all the anger and frustration. I hate that I did this to myself. Yes, there are circumstances that I understand on a mental level but the emotional component is tough to deal with.

Sorry if I seem so upset. I'm angry with myself. There is no one to blame but myself (ok, I'd like to blame my ex just for old times sake).

Venting over......

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLINDBETH 5/8/2008 6:27AM

    We have a family ghost that we all blame when we are feeling like Oscar the Grouch. His name is Bobby. He also gets blamed for missing items. Sometimes we all just need somewhere to project our frustrations.

And I totally understand! This week, I haven't exercised ANY. I've been trying to exercise in the afternoons with my DH (he worries about me being out alone so early). This week, we've had a school board meeting, 2 band concerts and PTO at my school. I haven't made it home before 9 o'clock this whole week. Ugh!!! I plan to really work it when running this afternoon.

And about those clothes. I've lost weight and can wear anything from a size 4 to a 10. Most fall between 6 and 8. It depends on the brand. And I must have been wearing some clothes too tight... or maybe they are too loose now. I can't ever tell! I did find this great website called MyShape. When I put my measurements in, it calculated what body type I was - a letter (mine is A) and had recommendations from my measurements (it will suggest the size). I've always said that pants and jeans were hard to find that fit - and this website only has a few pant recommendations. I've ordered a few things and everything fit perfectly. But even there, the sizes fluctuate wildly depending on the brand or style.

So... don't get caught up in the number.

And realize that you probably burned up some calories by getting mad. I'm impressed that you still ate salad. Back in the day, I would have just caved for a banana split.

It is still progress.

(sorry for such a long response...)

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DORY.A 5/7/2008 9:06AM

    Awwww.... I FELT your frustration in your words... and I know how that feels....

As for the clothes - don't be discouraged - it took time to get to your highest weight - it's going to take time to get to your lowest and you CAN do it... you've done so well so far.

I have to agree with Shadymaya - you need a rainy day plan or some other form of exercise to keep you motivated and WANTING to do it. I was the same as you - I didn't even like to go for walks unless I could stroll slowly and sit down as I ventured along. Now, I CRAVE my walks - I think about them when I'm at work at my desk and ACHE to go for a quick jaunt. I've even done that at work just to break up my day now. Even 15 minutes is better than zero.

Have you seen the wii video games? I know the console might be a wee bit pricey to start but it's way less expensive than a home gym and depending on the effort you put into it, it can be very good exercise... and it's SO MUCH FUN!!! My fiance and I play tennis for an hour or so every couple of days and LOVE it!

Look into Shadymaya's group too... you sound like you just need some encouragement on this.

YOU CAN DO IT... and you ARE doing it!!!!!!

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*WISTE* 5/6/2008 7:27PM

    Maybe you're out of sorts because you're not keeping a regular schedule of eating/exercising. Our bodies really like consistency. Eating, exercising, and sleeping at the same time every day allows your body to build a natural metabolic rhythym. If you keep a schedule your body will be able to better prepare to except food, start exercising, or fall asleep.

It also sounds like you could use a rainy day contingency plan for exercise. It's definitely no fun to go walking in the cold/wet. I'm on a Spark Team called Working Out at Home that has a lot of good suggestions on how to workout in your own home. To be honest, it almost sounds like you're trying to make your workouts miserable as an act of contrition for having gained the weight in the first place. If you really are committed to losing the weight, you're going to have to figure out a way to make exercising work for you.

You could try spicing up your walks with music on an ipod. You could also try challenging yourself with interval training while walking. If walking isn't for you, then maybe you need to explore other activities. There are a ton of ways to workout. Just keep trying things until you find something that's actually fun.

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AANGEL3 5/6/2008 5:21PM

    I hope tomorrow is a better day for you!


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