Monday, May 12, 2008
Over this past winter I saw this pretty pink sweater. I love things in the pink family from bright pink to purple and baby pinks to lavenders. This was such a pretty color I thought I'd get it to wear over the holidays paired with some black slacks. I bought a size....sigh....large. I brought it home but got very busy before I could try it on.
One evening I was going out to dinner with friends. I spotted the sweater (vee neck, long sleeve, light weight) and thought it would be the perfect thing. I put it on and looked in the mirror and was horrified. I looked like a sausage. My arms bulged, I could see fat around my mid-section and it was tight over the chest. I nearly cried. I pulled it off and put on something loose that hid "me".
Yesterday, Mother's day, my ex (the good one, I have two) called the children and told them he was driving up and taking us all out for Mother's day. I was told to dress-up. Wow! I found some pretty, black pants that I haven't worn in a while that fit great but what to wear on top? hmmmm LOL - bet you are wondering hehehe. Out came that pretty, pink sweater. Did it fit? No, not really because it just hung on me. It was huge. I kind of hiked up the bottom, pushed up the sleeves and it was pretty albeit blousey. My teenage daughter (the fashionesta) told me it was a little big but looked nice and made me look really thin!! That was the best part of Mother's Day!!
As for the restaurant. We went to one of the two 5 star restaurants in the area. I love this place and haven't eaten there in a very long time. YUM!! That was the difficult part. I had the scallops for an appetizer and the duck for an entrée. I love duck but it was so rich I only ate about the size of a golf ball. They had dessert too and I had something I've never seen before which was orange nougat. It was yummy but I didn't even come close to finishing it. It was more food than I've eaten in months!!!
Today I am back on track. As a matter of fact I woke up and was still full. I have no desire to eat yet and am going to save breakfast for later. That's probably a no-no but I just sooooo not hungry!!
I hope this doesn't affect my weigh loss this week but if it does, that's ok because I had the most wonderful time and I looked great and it was all worth it. If I gained a pound then I will just have to lose it again and a few more of its friends!!!
Hope everyones Mother's day was a nice as mine. Oh, and my children brought me flowers too!!!
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Thank you to everyone for all the encourgement that you've given me. Today, before I left for work, I put a fiber bar in my car. When I got back to my car to come home, I ate it. It seemed to work. It gave me enough energy to stop back at the lake and yes, walk around it. Not only that but I have an appointment and to make sure I wasn't late, I moved!!!
For me, I think the key is to not be so hungry. I work very hard and have been eating breakfast like a good girl (I never ate breakfast before I started SparkPeople) but I find that by 3 or 4 o'clock I'm starving! I used to be able to go along without a problem but now that I eat breakfast I can't make it. I realize that I have to eat something before I walk the lake or I'm kind of useless!! My brain function is down and I slip into the "who cares" mode.
I'm ok, really. I did what I had to do today. Thank you Dory for the Wii idea!! We actually have one (although I have no idea how to use it) and I remember how much of a workout my son gets playing some of those games!! Now THAT'S an idea!!
Also, thanks ShadyMaya. It was the kick in the pants I needed!
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Some days, I find it very difficult to not be angry and frustrated. Today was awful in terms of exercise. I stopped on my way home to walk the lake. I hate it, just as I hate most exercise, but it is the least evil. As I got about 10 mins. into the walk, it started to rain. I got angry. I had been held up because of traffic and had I not wasted those 40 mins. going nowhere I would have been finished. I turned around and went back to my car. I doubt I even walked a full mile.
Once I got to my car, the rain stopped. Now I was angry and frustrated! Should I start over? That would have been the right thing to do but I didn't. Instead, I went home. Of course, that made me really angry at myself. I have to admit I was hungry. I had been working all day. I was up at 6:30 and had breakfast at about 6:45. I hadn't eaten since. Maybe my blood sugar was low but I was really angry. At what I wonder? Myself for getting into this mess of fat? Probably.
I went home and ate my salad. I feel a little better. In the three months I've been working on this I have never gone over my calories. But the exercise gets me every time. I know I should go back to the lake and walk but I'm not going to. I just don't feel like it. Tomorrow, if there is time, I'll do it.
Part of this anger and frustration is my clothes. I went through my closet and gave away a HUGE bag of clothes I no longer wear. Most of them I still can't get into but has long gone out of style. The jeans I pulled out are all to tiny and I wonder if I will ever get into them. Some of the 12 stuff still fit? What's up with that? I thought for sure it would all be to big but it wasn't.
Ok, ok, now I see all the anger and frustration. I hate that I did this to myself. Yes, there are circumstances that I understand on a mental level but the emotional component is tough to deal with.
Sorry if I seem so upset. I'm angry with myself. There is no one to blame but myself (ok, I'd like to blame my ex just for old times sake).
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