Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Thank you to everyone for all the encourgement that you've given me. Today, before I left for work, I put a fiber bar in my car. When I got back to my car to come home, I ate it. It seemed to work. It gave me enough energy to stop back at the lake and yes, walk around it. Not only that but I have an appointment and to make sure I wasn't late, I moved!!!
For me, I think the key is to not be so hungry. I work very hard and have been eating breakfast like a good girl (I never ate breakfast before I started SparkPeople) but I find that by 3 or 4 o'clock I'm starving! I used to be able to go along without a problem but now that I eat breakfast I can't make it. I realize that I have to eat something before I walk the lake or I'm kind of useless!! My brain function is down and I slip into the "who cares" mode.
I'm ok, really. I did what I had to do today. Thank you Dory for the Wii idea!! We actually have one (although I have no idea how to use it) and I remember how much of a workout my son gets playing some of those games!! Now THAT'S an idea!!
Also, thanks ShadyMaya. It was the kick in the pants I needed!
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Some days, I find it very difficult to not be angry and frustrated. Today was awful in terms of exercise. I stopped on my way home to walk the lake. I hate it, just as I hate most exercise, but it is the least evil. As I got about 10 mins. into the walk, it started to rain. I got angry. I had been held up because of traffic and had I not wasted those 40 mins. going nowhere I would have been finished. I turned around and went back to my car. I doubt I even walked a full mile.
Once I got to my car, the rain stopped. Now I was angry and frustrated! Should I start over? That would have been the right thing to do but I didn't. Instead, I went home. Of course, that made me really angry at myself. I have to admit I was hungry. I had been working all day. I was up at 6:30 and had breakfast at about 6:45. I hadn't eaten since. Maybe my blood sugar was low but I was really angry. At what I wonder? Myself for getting into this mess of fat? Probably.
I went home and ate my salad. I feel a little better. In the three months I've been working on this I have never gone over my calories. But the exercise gets me every time. I know I should go back to the lake and walk but I'm not going to. I just don't feel like it. Tomorrow, if there is time, I'll do it.
Part of this anger and frustration is my clothes. I went through my closet and gave away a HUGE bag of clothes I no longer wear. Most of them I still can't get into but has long gone out of style. The jeans I pulled out are all to tiny and I wonder if I will ever get into them. Some of the 12 stuff still fit? What's up with that? I thought for sure it would all be to big but it wasn't.
Ok, ok, now I see all the anger and frustration. I hate that I did this to myself. Yes, there are circumstances that I understand on a mental level but the emotional component is tough to deal with.
Sorry if I seem so upset. I'm angry with myself. There is no one to blame but myself (ok, I'd like to blame my ex just for old times sake).
Sunday, May 04, 2008
in body weight!!!!! Hahahaha, yes, my darling Jenny June Bug whom we affectionately call Fatty McFatFat weights a whopping 18 lbs. When we got her (she was about 2) she was already this fat and we haven't been able to slim her down. Today, I am down 18 lbs!! I lost my cat!!!
Every time I pick her up I am going to think about the fact that this much weight used to be on my body. Eighteen, it's my favorite number and it feels good. I was born on the eighteenth, in the Jewish religion it means "chai" (pronounced hi) and means good luck. Now I am down eighteen pounds. I lost Fatty McFatFat!!! hehehehe, yay me!
I'm on track to my goal of 20 lbs by my birthday!!! That's even better!!!!
Thursday, May 01, 2008
Today is officially 90 days on SparkPeople. Hard to believe I've only been here that long. It feels like at least a year. I've lost 17 lbs. in 90 days. Pretty impressive for a middle aged woman who's had a hysterectomy.
What I find really strange is that still, no one has noticed. I continue to go to my clients homes, continue to see friends and yet, anyone who doesn't know I'm trying, doesn't see anything different. How can that be? My friend Dawn keeps telling me that when I hit the 20 lb mark, everyone will start to notice. Gosh, I hope so.
I've been pretty good about exercising this week. It is always the hardest thing for me. I've walked the lake 4 out of the last 5 days. That's 3 miles each day. Don't know if I will make it today because of appointments and it's quite cold out but I'm still going to try and get it in. If not, I'll use some weights tonight.
I'm glad I'm here. I'm glad I've changed for the better. I still don't feel "smaller" but while no one sees it, I am. I'm looking forward to the next 90 days. If I can lose just 5 lbs a month that will take me very, very close to where I want to be. I'm still hoping for that 20 lb mark by my birthday.
Ya know, I'm kind of excited about that!
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Back in the day....back when I would "diet" I would find myself going along swimmingly. I'd be losing weight, I'd be happy and then...oh then the dreaded pitfall!!! Something like a holiday, birthday, special party, whatever, would come about and I'd fall. I'd fall and getting back up was nearly impossible. If and/or when I'd get back up it could be weeks, months and sometimes even years later. It was that hard for me.
Last week was Passover. What a difficult holiday to get through for me because not only is it my favorite holiday but it is considered the biggest eating holiday filled with yummy foods. The holiday is at my home as well and I cook for weeks. It was hard to maintain and not cheat, very, very hard.
By mid-week I had given away most of the leftovers. I still hadn't completely tracked all my food but I wasn't terrible. By the end of the week, I was back. Tracking everything I ate, making good choices and now I'm completely back in that proverbial wagon.
I didn't lose anything during Passover but I didn't gain either. This morning I had a two pound loss!! Hooray! I feel so pleased that I am back. No excuses, no giving up and gaining it all back, but just back into eating right, exercising and taking back my life.
I really want to thank my friend Dawn who told me about SparkPeople. It really has changed my life. Reaching goals has made this even more rewarding and now I'm back on track for my next one. 20 pounds by my birthday May 18. I want this one so much!!
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