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So, it's my birthday and...

Friday, October 30, 2009

I just feel like crawling back under the covers and crying myself to sleep. By all accounts, this should be one of my best birthdays ever. It's only 8:30am and I have received so many "Happy Birthday" greetings from friends and family already, I'm having a huge party tomorrow, and I am down to my lowest weight in the last year and a half. But it's all overshadowed by my marriage problems. I just want to ignore what's wrong in my life and enjoy everything that is right... but my husband is my best friend in the whole world and my soulmate and right now I feel so unloved by him. I hate how he seems like he doesn't care at all about me anymore. I don't even know where to go from here. I hurt so much that I'm so angry and I keep lashing out. I just want the pain to go away...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRACYZABELLE 11/10/2009 1:33PM

    I am sorry your love life is struggling but so happy for you with your weight loss-- you must feel amazing! Happy belated birthday!

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LKAKERS 11/5/2009 5:01PM

    Well, I want to wish you a happy birthday and hope that you're able to work through your relationship troubles!

DH and I have been married 10 years and are more in love than ever... but it's work. We tackle every issue head on, as soon as one of us identifies the issue. Since you feel something's going on, you need to get those lines of communication open. Endeavor to be open, honest, and non-accusing.

My advice: In the calmest way you can, tell him how you feel, and why you feel that way (all "I" statements, no "you" statements). You may do better if you can write down your feelings and your reasons. Try to think of what you would like to see -- i.e., what's the solution? Also, try to think of how you can support him -- what can you do to make his life easier?

Hopefully, he is as committed to solving the problem, and the two of you can figure out the solution together... just really try to be on the same "team," and the problem is the "other guy." As a team, you can overcome!

You are strong and lovely... I'm hoping things look up for you!
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AMBERLEIGHM1 11/1/2009 6:40PM

    Happy Birthday, I hope you can put your troubles aside for a few hours and enjoy the day with your family. As soon as you can, have a talk with your dear husband and tell him how disconnected you feel from him and see if he is feeling the same then together come up with ways to make the other feel appreciated and loved. If you need to talk, I'm just an email away, I will keep you and your husband in my thoughts.

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BLAQUELORELEI 10/30/2009 10:30PM

  Happy Birthday don't give up hope

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KAT7457 10/30/2009 6:30PM

    Happy Birthday to you. emoticon

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PINKSTILETTOS 10/30/2009 10:28AM

  oops. Double post.

Comment edited on: 10/30/2009 10:29:20 AM

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PINKSTILETTOS 10/30/2009 10:28AM

  I'm sorry you're having a rough time right now... but happy birthday :)

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NUTTE1 10/30/2009 9:02AM

    I think K4Fred said exactly what was on my heart, but I wanted to lend my support and honest wishes that this birthday will turn around for you.

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K4FRED 10/30/2009 8:42AM

    Marriage is complex and definitely has its ups and downs. I know, I've been married for almost 30 years. In those years, I've felt like you describe many times, but we kept working at it.

Don't wait, sit down and find out why he is ignoring you. Maybe he has his mind on something at work or is worried about a family member. Guys often push their emotions down and don't deal with them. Then it resurfaces, like a hidden volcano and often they don't know what the problem is. Talk to him, honestly, without lashing out and do it as soon as possible. If he knows there is a problem, he'll probably do some reflecting and try to put things right with you.

Here's wishing you a clear, bright birthday and many more happy days!

K4FRED emoticon

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Still not giving up!!!

Sunday, August 02, 2009

Well, I'm starting over again. I guess there's alot to be said for the the fact that no matter how many times I fall off the wagon I keep trying to get back on. I'm not a quitter, that's for sure! lol! Over the last few months I have gone back up to my highest weight ever. I did a photo shoot a couple of weekends ago and when I got the pictures back I almost wanted to cry. I am very disappointed for letting myself get out of control again. Physically I am a mess. I feel like complete crap (for lack of a better word) all day every day. I am totally and completely exhausted at all times. So, I was thinking back and realized that when I was exercising regularly I had tons of energy. I could fall asleep easily at night and could sleep well all night. Since the most difficult part of a healthy lifestyle for me is my eating habits, I decided that I will be better equipped to deal with those challenges if I get back to working out first. Right now I am focusing on making fitness a habit. I did very well this past week and I am going to ramp it up some more this week. So, that's where I'm at right now.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LKAKERS 10/29/2009 4:37PM

    I just wanted to check in with you and offer some congrats and encouragement. Congrats for getting back on the horse -- if you keep doing that every time you slip, you CANNOT be defeated!
You will be ok -- just keep that chin up, and start with a small step in the right direction... then one other small step gets you really going, and a third small step builds momentum --nothing will stop you!

I love to see another curvy girl... don't despair, you already weigh less than I do, and we're both beautiful, even if we still have weight/health goals to acheive.

Have a lovely day!
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JULIEBIRD23 8/14/2009 11:38AM

    Hi Sabrina!
You can do this! You are not a quitter! Keep going no matter what and you will succeed. I have two little boys too and I am doing this for them and for me. Because if I don't take care of myself and become healthy again...I won't be around for my boys and THAT is NOT gonna happen.
Julie

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TRACYZABELLE 8/7/2009 6:20AM

    welcome back , you can do it!!

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SOPHIEMAE2007 8/4/2009 9:01PM

    I started over too this past week! Good Luck!!!

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TAM3KA 8/4/2009 8:17PM

    Welcome back. I too had to start over. It seem we need to finish what we started to become healthy and fit. Good luck on your journey.

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SWEETZMIX 8/4/2009 12:18PM

    emoticon welcome back. And your right, every time you get back on the wagon does stand for something!

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ZENXB! 8/3/2009 9:24PM

    You GO GO Girl! Do not quit quiting!

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SAMANTHAADELLE 8/3/2009 8:36PM

    Good for you Sabrina..Now it's my turn! I am having a hard time now. :(

Samantha

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TELERIE 8/3/2009 5:57PM

    Welcome back! Way to go on picking yourself up and being aware. You're in charge and you can totally do it! Create good habits that will stick with you and start small enough that you don't burn yourself out. Let me know if you need a loviing kick in the ahem! emoticon

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BONNIE627 8/3/2009 9:27AM

    we all go through this.. you can do it.. just hang in there and it does get better

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WANDAC2013 8/2/2009 6:55PM

    Fall 7 times, get up 8......what matters, in other words, is that you don't quit!
emoticon

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TRUECOLORS 8/2/2009 6:05PM

    Sounds much like me. My fat clothes do not even fit me anymore. I am tired of it and am ready to jump on SP again and try to lose again. I have to think positive and stop being so hard on myself. I get to the point where I just hate myself which does not help at all. It is a vicious circle that I need to break. Hang in there and best wishes!

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ZATANNA 8/2/2009 5:58PM

    Good Luck emoticon

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Confession Time...

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Well, at the end of March I posted a blog that I would not be a fool this April. I have been quite the fool this month. Despite the best of intentions and a great attitude to go along with it, I have not translated my plans into actions. That has led me to something I hoped would never happen. I had gone back up to my all-time high weight. A couple of weeks ago I weighed in at 195.8. That week I did put a plan into action and started doing Dr. Phil's Ultimate Weight Solution eating plan. That week I lost 4.4 pounds! Despite that, I didn't get very excited because I had the flu and had a 102.4 fever, so nothing could feel joyous to me at the time! Hahaha... So here I am trying to get over this flu. I am feeling much better but the congestion is driving me crazy. I have to confess that I did not stick to my eating plan at all this week and I am very nervous for Monday's weigh-in. I really hope I didn't gain back those pounds I lost.
As with every other time I fall off the wagon, I'm not giving up. I have my 10 year high school reunion sometime this fall, my 5 year wedding anniversary in September, and I am graduating from college in December. This is a big year for me and I am going to lose the weight!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BMAN419 1/21/2011 2:57PM

  amazing blog

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JUDIMOON 5/23/2009 12:20AM

    Hi Beautiful!
I am right there with you, and so feel your frustration...I finally got mad enough at myself to actively take control again, so there you have it...It is never going to be easy, and I am not sure why it seemed so easy last year when I lost 50 lbs in 6 months....I gained 30 back...living large, like I could get away with it...I don't know why I let myself down like that... Back to weighing my food and counting calories...Doin' the math. Now if I could just get back on my exercise routine I will make a short term goal to the 140's by August just in time for the Summer Hot August Night's Concerts! I'm here if you need me.... You can do it, you have great incentive!!
XO
Judy

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CANCERIANLADY 5/19/2009 5:07PM

  You can do it!! I found the meal plans too limiting so at first what worked for me was just counting calories and trying to be healthy most of the time ---

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TRACYZABELLE 5/10/2009 6:23AM

    I am sure with your upcoming events it will motivate you to shed the pounds and I know you can do it... after all you are a motivator!

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HEALTHY4JEANNE 4/27/2009 1:48PM

    One day at a time. You have a great attitude. You can do this.
Jeanne

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FLUTTERBY32 4/27/2009 11:50AM

    You can do it! Keep us posted on how your new plan is going. I wish you all successes!

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1972ROSES 4/27/2009 10:15AM

    Getting back into the program and moving forward to weight loss is a huge success. Best of luck to you. You can do it!

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GRAMMACATHY 4/25/2009 5:40PM

    Great attitude. That by itself will help you get back to your plan.

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SWEETZMIX 4/25/2009 4:04PM

    HELL YEAH!! That is the spirit. Don't let these set backs hold you back. They are not apart of your past and we are only worrying about the here & the now. So work on the NOW!

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BONNIE627 4/25/2009 11:49AM

    you can do this... congrats on being the spark motivator with your spark page.. was good..like seeing someone that I feel I know a little..

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SLMTRACE 4/25/2009 11:39AM

    You can do it! i am currently at 195 from 208, but cant wait to loose more!
you have alot of fun things to look forward to this year! just put your mind to it and you'll achieve anything!
i hope you have a great day!!
xoxo
Tracy

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MARCHO55 4/25/2009 10:58AM

  When we become ill it is our body's way of telling us, I believe, to slow down. Sometimes our intentions to lose weight, maintain better health, say a kind word to our spouse, goes astray. The worse thing we can do is beat ourselves up over "falling off the wagon". Do not become overly concerned when these things happen. Just pick yourself up and "do better tomorrow."
If you don't meet your weight goal in time for those events that you mentioned, what will happen? Weight loss and good health is something that takes time and should be maintained throughout our lives. Understand also that as you lose weight, some weeks you will lose a lot, like your 4.4 pounds, and other weeks you will lose 1/4 pound. That 1/4 pound is a weight loss and consider it a victory!!! And other weeks you may lose no weight. And some weeks you may gain. Review your journal if you keep one and see what you might do differently in the coming weeks. Weight loss is a slow and patient thing. Slow down and don't put so much judgement on yourself. And ask yourself this question: Am I losing weight to look good for other people, or am I losing weight to feel better. Also look at your plan. Maybe it is too rigid. While tracking calories, fat, carbs and protein can be useful it can also be very rigid for some people. You feel you have to stick to it to the letter. That to me creates stress and stress has an adverse effect in losing weight.
Anyway, I would love to hear from you. Your thoughts and how you are doing. Do not get the feeling that "all is lost". There are people here for support. Take care and make it a great day!!! Jim

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DEMURALIST 4/25/2009 10:33AM

    I would like to suggest "Fit From Within" by Victoris Moran. She has taken this journey herself and this book is 101 simple things to do create the attitude and atmosphere to free yourself of the Diet monster. Good luck.

"Our self image and our habits tend to go together.
Change one and you will automatically change the other."
Dr. MAXWELL MALTZ


Comment edited on: 4/25/2009 10:37:14 AM

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I am not going to be a fool this April!

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Hello everyone!
I am back again. Yes, it's the girl who cried wolf... again. But this time I am not completely disappointed in myself. I may have not been working on my health and weight loss, but I have still been working on myself. I have been feeling so happy pretty much every day. I feel like a completely different woman. I have been raising my hand in class, talking to my classmates, introducing myself to people, asking for help when I need it, and just getting out and doing more things. It feels amazing. I am no longer withdrawn from the world. I feel really, truly ready to get back to weight loss. With everything else in place, I know I can do it this time!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRACYZABELLE 4/16/2009 4:12AM

    I am so happy for you, putting yourself out there and making friends! You go girl!! I love your picture- you are so beautiful!

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JLIZCLAY 4/11/2009 8:34AM

    I just want you to know, I am SO PROUD of you.

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LASTCHANCE2009 4/4/2009 7:54PM

    I need to take after you and your positive attitude! Great job!

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ANEPANALIPTI 4/1/2009 11:50AM

    Now that's a great attitude!

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FITGIRL15 3/31/2009 5:44PM

    Your new found outgoing energy is refreshing! Keep this vibe flowing and their is no doubt in my mind that you will acheive those weight loss goals you have laid out for yourself! YA


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NATRONA32 3/31/2009 3:15PM

    I keep a print out right in front of me in my office. It's right next to my monitor so everyday, I HAVE to look at it. it says in really big letters...
"YOU CAN DO IT!!"

You CAN do it!! emoticon
Stay positive & stay focused & never forget that you have what it takes emoticon

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FLUTTERBY32 3/31/2009 2:30PM

    So glad you are feeling great! I hope your happiness continues and helps to keep you on track. Have a great day!

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DMICHA4583 3/31/2009 12:42PM

    Welcome Back!! Don't forget to sign up for the new Toledo Team Challenge!!

Glad to see you back and feeling "Marvelous"!!!

Hugsssssssss<
BR>Deb

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Sick :(

Friday, March 13, 2009

Well, I had the best of intentions... and still something gets in the way. I haven't been able to do anything this week. I have been sick since Sunday. I just spent my whole spring break sick and sleeping it away. I'm hoping this weekend I will start to feel better and be able to get back on track by the start of the new week.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRACYZABELLE 3/15/2009 3:12AM

    Sorry you are feeling crummy! Get well soon! YOur body neeeds a rest!

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FITGIRL15 3/13/2009 11:57PM

    Rest is the best medicine for a cold anyways!

Get well soon!

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GRANDMASCRAPS 3/13/2009 4:20PM

    Take the time to rest and When you are feeling better you will feel more like getting back on track. Don't feel guilty about taking time to recover.
Gail

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BONNIE627 3/13/2009 2:02PM

    I have been sick more this winter than I have been well so I know what you are going through.. we sure hope you are doing better and will be up and at them come Monday for sure.

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