Sunday, December 09, 2012
My friends, I have been absent since Sept. 9. It has been a very rough few months and I hope the poem below will explain things.
Here I am, alone in the dumps
Listening to voices, taking my lumps
Inner voices cry "It's not fair"
Outside voices that don't seem to care
I feel adrift, don't know where to turn
Don't seem to have extra energy to burn
I am tired, so tired of constantly fighting
My body, my mind. They both seem so daunting.
The barriers, the walls I've lived with for years
Thousands of time I've given into the tears
I'm afraid, so afraid of what waits beyond
I'm afraid I won't like the person I've found
Oh God, please help me, please give me a guide
I've started this journey, there's no place to hide.
There's no going back, no turning around
I must keep on going, I must stand my ground!
I will find my answers, I will stand up tall
I will keep on going, I'll give it my all!
This poem tries to express my feelings about my life growing up with my family. My mother was a wonerful person in some ways and a dragon in others. One the second anniversary of her death, all this came out. I am still dealing with a lot of it but feel more capable of handling things. In case you are wondering, I did not even have the desire to log onto SP during this time, I just wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep.
Thank you for taking the time to read this blog which is so very long.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Wow, what a good news day for our family. First of all, DH does NOT have to have further colon surgery. He goes back in three years for a follow up and that is it. Second, our son in law Mark does NOT have a recurrance of his bone or pancreatic cancer. He still has something wrong with his leg but it is not cancer. Third, I am still pain free, close to three weeks now. I have walked and done a lot of housework, trying to get the house in tip top condition after all the things I could not do. I am pacing myself, as my doctor has advised so am not trying to everything at once.
Tomorrow, our eldest DD , her son and I are going back to school shopping for him, having lunch and just hanging out.
I have been trying some recipes from my Canadian Diabetes Cookbook lately and we have enjoyed them, some more than others.
Well, time to sign off as I have clothes to put away and Masterchef is on. Talk to you all soon.
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