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Being Uncomfortable Is A Good Thing

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Thanks for the FitBit info, much appreciated.

I had a VERY rough day yesterday. Mentally, I was a big old mess. Very agitated, short tempered and just all around evil. I was not fun to be around at all.

Today, thankfully, is better. Not sure why I had such a bad day exactly, but I am pretty stressed about my test on Saturday. I had another rehab session this evening, so hopefully my therapist can help me with all this Christmas nonsense. I'm not really feeling parties and pictures bc of the weigh I've gained. I'm dreading wearing holiday clothes bc majority of my stuff doesn't fit and I really can't afford to buy bigger sizes. I know....suck it up and lose the weight. I have to CHOOSE to be happy. Just force yourself and do it. Fine ideas, I even tell people the same things. Not gonna work. Mentally, I'm not there. I'm not ready. I feel weak and unmotivated.

I know I'm gonna get better. I know this process isn't a quick fix. It is just uncomfortable and that's good. If I was comfortable then I wouldn't be moving forward. This way of comfortable thinking has completely taken over my life. It's not healthy and that's why I'm in eating disorder hell.

I want to end this blog on a high note. I'm thankful that my husband, my parents and some friends )that are aware of my situation) are so supportive. My husband is amazing. I'm learning to only eat what I what and what will satisfy me...needless to say our planned dinners have been thrown out the window and I've picked some odd things and odd times to eat. He is fantastic!

How are you all doing?

Thanks for reading,


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIGHTNINGRUNNER 12/12/2013 11:41AM

    Hang in there Jen. I know life is tough right now - but it will get better. You are lucky for the support.

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4EVERADONEGIRL 12/11/2013 6:40PM

    THIS: "It is just uncomfortable and that's good. If I was comfortable then I wouldn't be moving forward. "



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ENDUROVET 12/11/2013 3:56PM

    These past two weeks I've tried to blame the "creeping scale" on hormones (i.e. PMS) but so far, nada! Let's hope we are both on an improved path soon...

Hang in there babe!

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RAINEMARIE214 12/11/2013 12:32PM

    I'm glad that you are going through rehab and hopefully it will help! I started going to see a therapist in August to help me deal with my stress and I think it has been extremely helpful. I think sometimes becoming "comfortable" can definitely be an impediment for us because when we become comfortable we tend to become a lot more lenient about things. Not just with weight loss, but with so many things! Like if we become comfortable doing just acceptable work, we may not be doing the best we could be in our jobs, etc. So, basically, I agree. Being uncomfortable isnt always a bad thing - especially when it is pushing us to do our bests and step out of our comfort zones! I'm always here if you need someone to talk to. emoticon

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CATIATM 12/11/2013 12:17PM

    I'm sorry you're going through a rough patch, Jen. I wish I had a magic answer, but many of us struggle to manage emotions, stress, and life events without medicating with food. Maybe recognizing that that's what you're doing will help you give yourself permission to feel what you need to feel to work through whatever is holding you back I wish it were easy and hope you enjoy all the festivities of the season.

emoticon emoticon

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FitBit Users

Monday, December 09, 2013

What's up, everyone? I hope everyone had a great weekend!

I had a lot of fun, despite having to study all weekend and having a sick husband.

Friday night was our work Christmas party and it was a blast. I got some really nice and thoughtful gifts.

Saturday was study, study, study and managed a 91% on my final. Sweet.

Sunday I studied some more, cleaned up a bit, decorated a bit and went to Target to buy a few things and of course, ended up with almost $150 worth of stuff.

I did pretty well following my guidelines and got in TONS of steps per FitBit. I'm thinking of upgrading to the wristband....anyone have one? Or the FitBit One? What are your thoughts?

Hope everyone has a great week and thanks for reading!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JANEMARIE77 1/27/2014 10:06AM

    does the polar loop sync with sparks people?

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ENDUROVET 12/9/2013 1:36PM

    I glanced at the Nike FuelBand the other day when we were at Nike store - I think it works similarly... But spent a minor fortune on my boy (!!! ;-) so maybe for my B/D in Feb...

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RAINEMARIE214 12/9/2013 1:26PM

    I still have my Ultra (which is the precursor to the One) and I still like it, and I'm actually surprised it's still working after 2 years! I was interested in getting the bracelet one, but I like that I can pretty much hide mine in my pocket but the bracelet would always be visible, especially in the summer months or if I am wearing a dress for a fancy occassion, ya know?

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    I would say look at the Polar Loop. Great new product which not just shows your steps, but calorie burn based on intensity too.

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LAURIE5658 12/9/2013 10:23AM

    I have the FitBit One and I love it!!!!!!! Do it!

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It Has Been A Long Time

Friday, December 06, 2013

Wow, has Spark changed in the past few months or what? Geeze!

Anyhoo, I just thought I'd check in and let you know how I'm doing.

Well, I'm in outpatient rehab....yup, for an eating disorder. I don't want to get to much into it, bc I'm tired of talking about it. I just want to change my way or thinking and get healthy. I wish I could say that I've lost weight, but sadly, I have not. I have steadily been gaining since August. I have gained exactly 20lbs and currently weighing in at 207lb. Never been over 200 in my life.

It's is going to be a VERY long road ahead of me. It isn't going to be fun or comfortable, but I know it will be worth it.

Currently, I'm following five guidelines:

Eat whenever you are hungry

Eat sitting down in a calm environment

Eat only what you want

Eat until you feel satisfied

Eat with the intentions of being in full view of others

Eat with enjoyment and pleasure instead of judgement

They are pretty tough guidelines for me (especially the eating when hungry and in an environment with no distractions) and I'm struggling pretty much every minute of the day, but I gotta work thru it.

I made maybe creeping around on here every so often, but I won't be super active. I'm trying to stay away from the computer and go out and do things I truly enjoy. I don't like reading too much about calories and food and all that, but I love reading how everyone is doing and achieving. Hopefully, I'll be a success story soon enough.

Peace out!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

4EVERADONEGIRL 12/9/2013 1:23PM

    Jen - glad you are getting help but I know it must be hard. It's hard for me and I don't even have an ED! ;-) (not that I know of anyways...)

Just take it one day at a time and know that I'm going to keep supporting you no matter what! Keep us updated on your progress...

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ENDUROVET 12/7/2013 8:22PM

    Well Jen I'll do my best not to offend YOU (joking! - but another SF just jumped my a$$ for leaving an "inappropriate comment" on her life-or-death blog... WTH, man?!?!?)

Sorry you are having such a rough time; I'll be here to support you cyberspatially however I can! I'll reproduce my comment here so you have a chance to take offense too ;-) :

I'm feeling pretty damn sorry for myself these days, since this makes "4 in a row" weekends for Ex (yes, he knows how to play this custody game) - & since Z had a snow day yesterday, M couldn't back off giving me sh!t about pick-up times :-(
But when he out of his truck yesterday, he was dressed SO awkwardly that I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing! Rednecks of Hunt County, indeed...
I appreciated that small moment of levity in an otherwise stressful day. Search for some lightness of spirit wherever you can!


Comment edited on: 12/9/2013 1:33:23 PM

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FANGFACEKITTY 12/7/2013 5:26AM

    emoticon It can't be easy but keep trying. Focus on one day, one meal at a time. And know that SP is here for any additional support you need. emoticon

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If My Scale Didn't Cost Me $100....

Friday, September 06, 2013

It would be smashed up Office Space style. No joke.

My FitBit scale is an evil, evil demon.

I was really excited bc I lost six pounds and finally felt almost normal again. My clothes still didn't fit right, but I felt that I was heading strongly in the right direction.

Well, apparently when your battery gets low on the FitBit is turns into an evil demon and weighs you a HELL of A LOT less than what you really are.

I know what you are going to say: the number on the scale isn't everything, it's all how you feel etc etc

Yeah, I'm not gonna lie. It's a big blow to my self esteem, especially since I'm also dealing with bad acne (at age 34, really?!?).

It is difficult to stay positive but I'm trying. I've got eight miles tomorrow and hopefully it will be cooler.

Hope everyone has a great weekend and HAPPY RUNNING!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

4EVERADONEGIRL 10/1/2013 7:32PM

    I hate scales...they are seriously EVILLLLL!!! :-)

But hey - you ran 14 miles and more! You are definitely more than the number!

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CATIATM 9/16/2013 12:14PM

    Ooooooh, I feel your pain. emoticon

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ENDUROVET 9/8/2013 10:21AM

    You see why I hate the scales?!?!?

Seriously, though, don't let a mere number ruin your day...

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MWWENSIN 9/7/2013 12:14AM

    Step away from the scale...

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BOILHAM 9/6/2013 7:19PM

    My condolences!! I have that problem, until I stopped believing in my digital scale as being accurate. I now use it only as a broad measurement. I can lose 4 lbs during a long run from water loss, according to my flaky scale. But, I go back one minute later and it's 3 lbs loss not 4. I think the old style scales were more accurate, or maybe it's just nostalgia that make me believe that. Anyway, I'm raving... glad to see even a 100 dollar scale can be flaky.

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MASRITE 9/6/2013 4:47PM

    Love the cartoon!! I sometimes feel like that, too. I hope you can fix the scale and it starts behaving for you. Good luck with your 8 miles. Hope it's cool for you!! emoticon

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    Sorry about your scale. Call fitbit and return it. Their customer service and return policy are supposed to be very good (I have no personal experience here tough.)
I'm weighing on a Tanita - have had it for years and am really happy with it.
Love the pic :)

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    Sounds like a calendar date to enter every 2 months replace batteries in Fibbit

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RAINEMARIE214 9/6/2013 11:13AM

    Ugh. I hate scales. I havent spent $100 on mine (though I've seriously considered it) but I feel like after 2 years, I always need a new scale - like it just decides it hates me and becomes a heinous b*tch. I think I am in the market for a new one...again. :/

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    Oh man, that's a bummer. Sorry that this happened to you. But, shake the dust off and keep on keeping on!

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14 Miler Done

Tuesday, September 03, 2013

Whew. 14 miles is my longest run to date and it was pretty tough. It was very humid and I struggled, and I even decided I was going to quit at mile 10, but I didn't. I kept going and finally finished. My feet and hips hurt, but everything else was fine. I was a bit sore on Sunday, but all in all I recovered nicely.

Thyroid wise I feel great! I'm losing weight, I'm down 6.5 lbs and focusing on rest and eating enough.

How was your weekend? Any races?

Happy Running!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIVE2RUN4LIFE 9/3/2013 9:04PM


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MASRITE 9/3/2013 1:32PM

    Yeah, 14 miles!!! You're one up on me now! Glad you did and you're feeling good.

Congrats on the 6.5 loss. Amazing! I know you were struggling, so I'm glad it's moving in the right direction.

No races here. I'm still doing physical therapy. I did, however, get to go to my daughter's soccer tournament and they took the trophy home!!

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BOILHAM 9/3/2013 11:24AM

    So glad you finished and did not have to quit. When I feel like quiting I always tell myself I can walk the rest of it, and that way I haven't quit. I never have had to stop running, though. I take a walk break and continue on! Good for you! 14 miles is a long way!

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