FRIEDA4000   32,891
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FRIEDA4000's Recent Blog Entries

Finished a 5K this morning!

Wednesday, January 01, 2014

Feels good to be off to a great start. ;)

My mom was a great supporter and came out to cheer for me!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JACKSGRAN 1/2/2014 3:27AM

    Great start to the new year. Well done


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KTLASERS 1/2/2014 12:45AM

    emoticon emoticon

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CASSIOEPIA 1/1/2014 11:02PM

    Congratulations - what a great way to start your year!

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LIVESTRONG2010 1/1/2014 7:00PM

    Congratulations on the 5K

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MAGNOLIA416 1/1/2014 6:26PM


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MOTTAMAMALOU 1/1/2014 6:13PM

    Good for you! What a great way t o start off the year.
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DEB62BIE62 1/1/2014 6:11PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Admitting I need a Restart

Monday, July 29, 2013

Hey! I am no longer being successful at weight loss. I need to restart.

It's a tough thing to admit. I did a four day cleanse over Memorial day, and while I watched neighbors chow down on hamburgers, beers, and brownies (yum!), I ate small amounts of fruits, vegetables, brown rice, and fish. I came out of that weekend feeling AMAZING. The most important thing that happened was I broke my addiction with sugar. I could pass up sweets in preference of healthier options. Life was pretty good. :)

But then I drank a few sweet drinks out of a feeling of obligation. They were good. Then I ate a few other sweet things, maybe not because of any pressure, but because they were there. Soon enough I was looking for anything that had sugar. I didn't have true sweets in the house, but I was desperate and eating things like the chocolate chips in the baking supplies. Life wasn't so good. :(

I'm hoping to turn things around. I realize that once I admit I have this problem, it doesn't make any sense not to do something about it immediately. So after a weekend of sneaking candy and having dessert and wine and lemonade, I'm holding myself accountable. I bought all the supplies for another four day cleanse and I'm starting again.

I guess I know that I'll never be free of this addiction to sugar. There is no "just one" full sugar margarita. I make my own choices and hold myself accountable. No one can pressure me into doing something I don't want to do.

Whew. Glad that's over. If this cleanse was anything like the last one, day three is going to be a doozy!

See you on the other side!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KNYAGENYA 7/29/2013 2:58PM

    You can do it. I have faith in you.

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SANDY_52 7/29/2013 11:39AM

    I'm addicted to sugar too, and that's one big reason I fell so hard off my own diet plan over the past year or so, so I completely sympathize. Good luck with the cleanse! emoticon

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My other fight - OCD

Thursday, May 09, 2013

I am pretty stationary with my OCD. I have it. I know it's there. But I usually don't mess with it. But someone recently asked me what I would think if I started seeing my OCD in my boys. Oh... Maybe I should deal with it after all.

My first attempt was going past the security guards at work without turning to look at the clock. It drives me crazy if I don't look at it. The entire walk up to the building I was ready, and actually getting visibly nervous at the thought of not looking. Unfortunately as I approached my mind wandered and I found myself staring straight at the clock. DOH! I felt just as awful that I looked as I was feeling about not looking.

Which is silly, right? My OCD isn't about knowing the time, it's about looking at a specific object. Silly. Very silly.

I have another object that I look at when I drive home- a brown sign about halfway to my house. I'll try my best to remember not to look this time! Let's see if I can actually do it. (I have to turn my head wide to the right to see it, so it won't be visible during normal driving)

Anyone else have any silly OCD things?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

2BDYNAMIC 5/24/2013 4:11PM

    Yes ..... of course! ........ You are not alone ....... I am not sure it is even OCD that you want to look at the clock or the sign ......... Maybe those objects are just landmarks that you are almost there ......... sometimes I want to handcuff myself to STOP when enough has been done re: cleaning or whatever ................ emoticon

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Tuesday, May 07, 2013

It's bananas that I ate a banana at this conference, instead of the ice cream bars also available! Making good choices all day, every day :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

2BDYNAMIC 5/24/2013 4:15PM

    emoticon ........ There R worse things for sure ....... Like ice cream bars ............ lol .............. emoticon

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GWTRIKER 5/7/2013 8:11PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Watching someone else do it.

Monday, May 06, 2013

I saw something painful this weekend. It wasn't me doing it, but it could have been. And I can't get it out of my mind.

We stayed with my parents over the weekend and ate lunch with them. There wasn't a single fresh fruit or vegetable in the house and my dad indulged me by running up to the local grocery store salad bar to get stuff just for me. Yay! Everyone else just had hot dogs and french fries. I felt bad for my kids eating that way, but I reconciled that we are at grandma's house and things can slide for a day.

As we were cleaning up, I went upstairs with the baby. I could see all of the downstairs including the laundry room, where my mother was. Eating another hot dog.

I felt crushed. There she was eating in secret. Why? Was it me? I worry that it was the stress of having my family there and that I drove her to this eating. I felt awful that she felt she had to hide and be ashamed at what she was doing. I felt awful that I couldn't do anything about it.

Feeling powerless to food sucks. I don't want it for my mom, I don't want it for me, and I especially don't want it for my kids.

I want us to feel strong and healthy and in control. And I want it to begin with me.

I'm posting this even though it feels just a little too personal. I don't talk this way with my mom, so I won't be able to discuss this with her. And I'm not in a bad place emotionally with food. I'm just sad that she is.

Thanks for reading and your support!


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