Friday, June 27, 2014
I have always been the type of person to give 100% to whatever I plan to do. When I stared Sparkpeople in May 2011 I did just that. I lost 70 lbs. by 12-25-11 and it seemed like nothing would stop me from reaching my goal of losing over 100 lbs.
Well, somewhere along the way, I got comfortable with where I was and lost sight of my ultimate goal. I stopped giving 100% to my program and the weight started to creep back on.
Totally devastated by my lack of "control" I began to feel depressed and disappointed with myself losing sight of the fact that I had accomplished something extraordinary even with gaining a little back. I made bad food choices and eventually stopped going to zumba and exercising all together.
I gave up on myself and like with other areas of my life, did it with 100% effort. Other stressors entered my life, plantarfaciitis, financial stress, marital stress, family issues with parents, discipline issues with having a teenager...it was too much and I turned back to food to escape.
My health got steadily worse and I was shocked to see a 296 lb. woman looking back at me in the mirror one day. I realized that I couldn't ignore the problem any further but I felt too insecure to get started again.
On 6/16/14, an old Sparkbuddy sent me a text message and asked if I would help her lose weight to prepare for a knee surgery. That was it. That was the "sign" I needed to get started. She gave me the "spark" and I would create the flame!
I am a nurturer by nature. It is easier for me to help others than myself. This simple request to help someone else with their weight loss gave me the motivation I needed to start helping myself. I want to be a positive example for her.
It may not solve the underlying emotional issues I obviously have with taking care of myself but, it did get me started on my path again.
I started eating better and logging my food in a journal that day. Losing 8 lbs. has given me enough confidence to come back on this website and say "ok, I am back!"
We are all human. I let myself down by gaining the weight back but, I can make it right again by licking my wounds and moving on.
"It doesn't matter where you start...it's where you end that counts!"
Monday, October 28, 2013
I can't believe how much time has passed since I joined Sparkpeople 2 1/2 years ago. I was a desperate 300 lb. woman looking for a miracle. Not an "easy fix", just some motivation and support to get healthy and lose weight. I was facing health problems and was severely depressed. This website was what I needed.
Sparkpeople was my new, shiny toy. I was sooo amazed and inspired by all the stories. I started tracking my food and drinking water. The pounds started to come off slowly and I was motivated to keep going. Eventually I was able to exercise and in 8 months I had lost 70 lbs!
Then something happened. It was Christmas and I was happy and comfortable with my body. I started "slipping up". I got away with it for a while...I would over-eat or skip exercising and get back on track to cover myself. I would gain and lose the same 2 lbs. for many months. Eventually I started gaining weight and didn't lose it back.
I have a sugar addiction. I found that good nutrition keeps the cravings under control but, once I let sugary treats or extra carbs and artificial sweeteners get into my body...I craved more and more. In addition to that problem, I injured my foot and had to stop exercising for 10 months.
Well, I don't have to tell you that both those things add up to disaster for anyone trying to maintain a weight loss let alone trying to lose additional weight.
I couldn't face gaining weight again so instead of working harder to get through the challenge...I did what I always did in the past...I gave up on myself and ignored my weight gain. I kept telling myself that it would be ok but, I didn't make any changes.
Now I have gained back 50 lbs! I am facing health problems again. I have acid reflux and asthma again. My body hurts. My clothes don't fit and I am depressed again.
I am back on Sparkpeople now. Determined to one day reach my goal.
It's do or die time!
My Sparkpage says "Sparkpeople Motivator!" How can I be a motivator when I am feeling like such a failure right now.
Well, I CAN because I am here to motivate you to keep going.
Don't do what I did. Don't get comfortable and lazy. If you are working your program and losing weight...keep on track! Be scared! Because if you think that you can cheat here and there and make up for it, you may be able to for awhile but, one day you will let it get away from you and where will you be then...right where I am. Morbidly Obese and starting again.
Feeling healthy and confident is a precious feeling. Please don't take your success for granted.
Don't let what happened to me happen to you!
Thursday, January 17, 2013
I have been on this journey since May 9th, 2011. I like to call this my "Magical Mystery Tour".
I call it that because I have experienced the magic of losing 70 lbs., feeling great, achieving fitness goals I never dreamed I could do and finding love for myself. But, the mystery part comes in when I fall off track and can't find my "spark" or when I do everything right and still don't lose a pound for several weeks. I lost my way for 9 months and gained back almost 30 lbs.
I wasn't completely lost...I was still exercising some and trying to eat healthy. I just let myself get depressed again and started eating sugar which makes me crave carbs....which makes me crave sugar...which makes me not want to exercise much and sleep during the day...which makes me depressed. You see the cycle.
I still have the foundation of healthy living that I layed when I first joined Spark. I am not starting from scratch. I am jumping back in before I gain everything back.
I am still determined to reach my goals someday. It is harder the second time because everything is not shiny and new. I am not dropping 5 lbs. the first week like I did in the very beginning. But, I still know...deep down in the "positive" side of my brain, that I CAN do this if I follow the steps. It is a simple plan...just not an easy plan. I have to DO THE WORK.
My goals for 2013 are as follows:
Drink at least 8 glasses of water per day. (my plan is to drink 2 glasses with each meal and with a snack)
Exercise 6 days per week. (my plan is to go to Zumba class 2 days per week, walk 2 or more miles 2 days per week and do an exercise DVD with weights 1 day per week)
Eat healthy everyday. (my plan is to log my food, keep healthy food choices on hand, resist buying sweets and junk food that will tempt me, not skip any meals. stay in my calorie range and indulge in a treat once in a while so I don't binge)
Get more sleep. (my plan is to be in bed by 11pm so I can be asleep by midnight allowing for 7 hours of sleep per night...this is the hardest thing for me since I am a night owl)
Staying positive. (Keep positive thoughts in my head and encourage myself with motivational visual aides in the house plus, allowing time to be on Sparkpeople.com)
Staying focused. (keeping myself accountable by weighing once per week, keeping active on Sparkpeople and thinking about the wonderful feeling of being lean and healthy when I reach my goal.)
My goal is to lose 65 lbs. this year. I want to weigh 190 lbs. by Dec. 31st, 2013. I know this is possible if I do the work.
I have already lost 2 lbs. Now I just have to repeat that about 31 more times this year.
Wednesday, December 05, 2012
Are you feeling defeated because you can't stay on track with your food? Stress and other emotions causing your to make poor choices and have left you feeling like you have no willpower?
Well, I don't think it is a matter of willpower. I have a strong will in all other areas of my life so it seems to be more about stopping and thinking about my emotions before I turn to food. I have a chemical reaction that happens in my brain when I am upset or nervous and the feeling I get in the moment that I am consuming sugary treats or "comfort" foods, pacifies that emotion for a short while and provides relief.
But, when I am abstaining from the sugar, simple carbs, and fatty foods, and eating more vegetables and drinking water, I seem to be able to think more clearly. When I am eating healthy and exercising and something stresses me out, I can stop, and take a moment, before reaching for the junk food. It is in that moment that I can talk to myself before I act out and binge.
I think we Sparkers have strong willpower. We just need to give ourselves a chance to find our "moment of clarity" before we react. If we can have that one moment to acknowledge that the junk food will not really satisfy us, and in the end, will not solve the problem, we can find something else to occupy our mind until the craving passes.
Just thought I would share my thoughts on the subject.
Hugs to you Sparkfriend!
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