Thursday, January 21, 2010
I'm not too interested in the undernourished waifs who display couture or coiffure. What impresses me is you people, SparkPeople, who open your hearts and minds to me day by day and show me fabulous TRENDS I could not have imagined on my own . . .the trends I refer to are new ways of thinking about food, new habits of choice for the way I act around food, and new steps of an active lifestyle.
Especially you guys on the Beck Diet Solution Team: when you share on a forum or a blog or a comment box, it's like one of those Coast Guard icebreakers opening a new path in my stubborn hard-headedness. Reading your thoughts and experiences is almost like "practicing" more healthful thinking and decision-making.
Sure, I blow it, plenty of times. But I hear the echo of AMKRUNNER's Jan 11 blog: "Just because I made poor decisions a couple times today DOES NOT mean I have to write off the entire day... It stops now. I choose to make the best decisions for my body for the rest of the day and night. I choose not to let a slip up determine my fate and make me feel worse about it."
While I'm getting dressed I might ruminate on ID_VANDAL's Jan 21 blog: "I'm back together today and promise NO STRESS EATING!"
MAZZYR's reminders are staying in my head: "I CAN read Advantage Cards and motivate myself daily!"
SLIMMERJESSE's Jan 20 blog title came to mind later: "Do I need this? No! I put it back," which I took the liberty of applying to unplanned food.
When I faced a tough choice, I reviewed the renowned quote NANCY- shared on Jan 18, "...Here is an opportunity for me to celebrate like never before, my own power, my own ability to get myself to do whatever is necessary."
I am even beginning to whisper those scary words KELLYGRN courageously penned on Jan 15, "I have to learn to be hungry & not worry about not having any food."
You guys are giving me a script that really works for me. "When the treats are calling I can say to myself 'I AM THE BOSS OF ME!' " --FLUTTERBY)L( Jan 20
GLAMOURGIRL-9 reminds me, "Slow and steady wins the race!"
What NUSLE5 said on Jan 9 has reverberated for me: "Food is a waste when it's overeating just as much as when I toss it."
So many more have helped me in a concrete way. Too many to list, the SparkPeople whose forum messages or comments or blogs have been exactly the spur that got me over a rough spot. You dear friends are definitely America's top models as far as I'm concerned, practical and effective role models that make the path a little less steep for this often-weary trekker.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
RUN2RIDE says on her SparkPage, "It's not really about maintaining the weight, it's about maintaining the HABITS that maintain my weight!" I want to start thinking this way. Although I'm a year away from maintaining, I know this mindset will help me now.
So for me, "It's not really about losing the weight; it's about building the HABITS that will cause the weight to come off." I am seeing a bit of this already with baby-stepping through the Beck Diet Solution. But I am stubborn, so it is tough.
No choice. I have set my foot on this path, and I'm not turning back. Not turning away. Day 11, here I come!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
My goal is to lose 5 pounds. When I lose 5 pounds, I will celebrate it with my SparkTeam and I will reward myself by getting my hair done at the nearby cosmetology school.
It isn't intuitive to celebrate this small loss, especially in view of how far I have to go and how long I have allowed myself to be obese, but my initial and overarching goal was to complete the assignments in the Beck Diet Solution and to follow the prescription as given. So I'm going to cooperate.
Monday, January 18, 2010
I will walk 3 miles three times a week. (My husband and I have a set route at a mall near our house, so even on bitterly cold or snowy days we can walk 3 miles. It takes us an hour...perhaps a later goal will address that!)
I will attend the strength training class at my church twice a week. If I am prevented from going for some reason, I will do the exercises on my own at home and not wimp out.
I will park further away from the door of my destination.
I will record my exercise daily on the goals & accountability forum.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
I was feeling pretty blue when I stopped to get gas. I had been indulging in a major pity party. To comfort myself I broke two of my policies: I bought chips, which is not a "worth it" item and not one of the treats I allow myself. And I also got a large coffee and put four flavored creams in it. One of my own "rules" I've been generally successful with is to always buy the smallest size available, and to stick with one cream in coffee.
It seems silly to me now to have made such an irrational set of choices, but at the time it seemed like the obvious way to make myself feel better. You might guess the result of this comical/sad foray: this set of crunchy/creamy carbs did not do the trick. The chips didn't taste nearly as good as I remembered (unlike the Oreo cookies I sneaked recently, when during the first bite I said out loud, "Oh, wow, these are amazing. No wonder they're 53 calories apiece.") The first swallow of fatty/sweet coffee tasted delicious, but I hardly noticed the rest of it.
I guess disappointment began to restore some logical mental process, for as I drove along I began to ask myself the following question: If even "cheating" did not help my melancholy mood, what should I try? I guess someone was praying for me, because what came to mind was the idea that it wasn't reasonable to feel so weepy, because of all the people who really care about me. That seemed like a valid concept, so I started naming them. I have been blessed with a loyal, affectionate family. I have a couple close friends who love me unconditionally. I have a supportive group of friends in my church who genuinely care about me.
I'm not saying this line of meditation will keep me from stupid eating next time. But I did have an additional thought, one that hit me like a brick, one that I hope will at least give me pause. FOOD DOES NOT CARE. It has no substance, no reality of uplift to offer me. FOOD DOES NOT CARE. In contrast, God has provided all these people: people who should be a source of my feeling really good, having a treasure so rich and valuable in my life. But what I turned my thoughts to when I was down was junk food. FOOD DOES NOT CARE.
It looks a little funny on a response card. But I think it's going to be one of my most important ones.
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