Clinging to the Red Line

Thursday, April 21, 2011

When you track your weight, do you click "See Report" ?

For so long, I didn't. I lived in my old neighborhood of avoidance & denial---now it's been razed for new construction.

Today that graph gives me a slender red thread of hope, a little strand of science to hold on to when emotions buffet.

I have officially lost 35 pounds. My response to this today is nervousness and self-doubt. I have lost that much four times in ten years, only to regain.

I shall fight fear with fact and with faith. Actually, in both instances, my FAITH is inFACTS, in solidly grounded truth.

Visible fact: the red line of my goal graph and the blue line of my weight loss look like twin lanes of a country road. The report SAYS I am ON TRACK to get to a healthy weight early in 2012. So I refuse to entertain the teasing tension. The fact is, I'm doing okay. Stick to the facts.

Invisible fact: the Omnipotent One, the merciful Creator, has promised to come to my aid when I call to Him. His command is, Do not fear. Each issue of my life is safe in His keeping, whether glad or painful or steep. A number is just a number, a measurement in God's orderly universe. Stick to the facts.

So I keep going back to click the button and look at that thin red line. I may feel bogged down, but I'm doing okay.

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Thrill of Mistaken Identity

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

My neighbor telephoned to explain that no one heard the doorbell when we stopped by their house. She said, "When I looked out the window, I saw your daughter walking away from the porch, but I didn't get outside in time to talk to her."

Hee hee!! It wasn't my daughter! It was I! I was the one walking away from their porch! Can you believe it?! Someone mistook ME for a healthy-BMI person! Yes, it was through the window; yes, it was from a distance. But it tells me I'm getting there. I'm getting closer.

Spark support, straight talk from the Beck Diet Solution, and the Scripture's truth of who I am as a beloved child of God . . . all this has helped me stand tall and walk with confidence. Working out has given me a youthful stride.

I'm actually 5 pounds away from getting out of the obese category, but I'm already breaking free in my head!

Today my neighbor did not see me as a fat person. I'm starting to seize that vision myself!!

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Teasing

Sunday, April 17, 2011

I told my daughter she must have the biggest wisdom teeth on record, cuz she got four wisdom teeth taken out on Monday, and now she weighs 6 pounds less than before they were removed. (You're groaning and rolling your eyes, but some "scientific studies" are like this . . . )

So I got to thinking about the Oral Surgery Diet. You don't have to spend hundreds of dollars and a go through the discomfort of the procedure & recovery. Just follow this menu:
Day One: 3 Tablespoons of applesauce every 2 hours, alternating with 4 oz kefir.
Day Two: same as Day One; add at night 4 Tablespoons thin mashed potatoes
Day Three: same as Day Two; add 4 oz. chicken broth with a few soft noodles
DayFour: Fruit Smoothie; 4 oz. Tomato Soup; Soft Brown Rice with smashed chicken
Day Five: Fruit Smoothie; Pureed Vegetable Soup; Vanilla Yogurt
Day Six: Oatmeal; Turkey Bits; Fruit chopped small; Broccoli Soup
EVERY DAY: Drink lots of water. At least half of meals or snacks, say you're not hungry. Sleep 9 hours at night and take 2 naps each day. Read, pray, write in your journal, crochet, listen to music, play couch games with a twelve-year-old, watch funny movies, play Animal Crossing borrowed from 22yo brother.
Day Seven: Go to 4H sewing club and let a few cheese cubes melt in your mouth. Come home and sleep through lunch.

Of course I don't really recommend that eating plan. You don't really want to lose 6 pounds in a week. Well, maybe you WANT to, but your rational self knows it's not so healthy. BUT 6 pounds in 3 weeks would be super duper. I think I'll pretend I have sore jaws and chipmunk cheeks and see if I can work more brown rice and vegetable soup into my own menu!

P.S. I was touched and astonished to see her leaving one bite in each dish. Her 27yo sister taught her this a couple years ago, as a tool for lifelong moderate eating . . . it sustains awareness of deliberate portion choice and mindfulness at every meal. I was convicted by her quiet example. How many times have I used illness or some other circumstance to excuse my unhealthy choices? As rotten as she felt, she honored the habit she has chosen. I am chastened and inspired!

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Other Numbers to Smile About

Thursday, April 14, 2011

I always take my blood pressure at the discount store. By the mercy of Christ I still have normal blood pressure, and I want to reinforce to myself the importance of healthy eating to avoid hypertension, so I pursue that moment of accountability on the blood-pressure bench.

The connection I set up for myself is this: I used to buy a harmful snack on many trips to the big box store. I decided it would be wise to REPLACE that self-indulgence with some other small pleasure, at least for a while. So I have ritualized the visit to the blood pressure machine. After I take it once, I sit there a minute breathing deeply and consciously relaxing and take it again. It's a rest stop, a tiny breather. I also take a moment to give thanks for healthy readings-- I did not earn them considering my 20 years of being overweight.

Since I have lost 30 pounds the diastolic and systolic numbers have both dropped a few points. Today my blood pressure reading was 114 over 64. It struck me for the first time that I can view this as a non-scale victory. I have not had encouragement from the scale for a couple weeks. But I should savor THESE NUMBERS. Good blood pressure readings are a completely different measurement that can help me feel good about my healthy eating and exercise choices.

Just for fun, here's a homemade blood pressure tracker, so I can celebrate again.

100.................................... 114...................................130

65................................ 64...........................................80

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Lifestyle Archaeology

Saturday, April 09, 2011

The girls and I went through the coat closet today. Stuff just accumulates there. Something had fallen down behind a stack of book boxes . . . hey, look! I wondered where that coat had gone!

It was a jacket I used to wear a couple years ago. It's too big but I always go through pockets before putting something in the charity bag.

As I turned it to reach deep into the pocket on one side, THREE fun-size candy bars fell out of the tipped pocket on the lower side. My daughters just started laughing and I cracked up, too. In a way it was a "BUSTED" moment . . . Mom had candy bars in her pocket . . . but they knew it was from Closet Archaeology. Belongs to an Old Way of Life.

They've also heard the tune I sing these days: "Please don't leave that snack sitting out on the counter . . . thanks so much but don't offer me any Christmas/Valentine's/Easter Candy . . . if you take that candy home, put it where I can't see it . . . " One DD still has candy from Thanksgiving in her desk drawer and she knows I haven't touched it.

I did buy a certain chocolate item this week and put it in my tracker. Fifty calories over. Sigh. But I was mindful and savored it, eating only half at a time. It was a satisfying treat.

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