Thursday, August 19, 2010
I am not the same person as two years ago. Activity seeking has replaced excuse seeking. Craving fruit has replaced craving chips. Hope has replaced regret.
Today's anecdote: Thursday night is regularly scheduled strength training group. I went tonight and gave a great effort. It felt wonderful.
The reason I'm putting this in a blog is that the dermatologist cut a little growth cut off my shin today for biopsy. Probably not dangerous, but the whole process was pretty draining.
Earlier this week I decided I would still go to the workout and just do the upper body parts. But they were able to do a procedure without stitches, and the doctor said no limitations on activity, so I determined to do as much as I possibly could. I would have stopped for bleeding, but that didn't happen.
I am getting in the groove of seeing myself as a strong, overcoming person. Thanks to all you friends encouraging me, and by God's grace, I will push on against all odds and achieve a healthy weight!!
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Eighteen months ago I started working out with a small group of women doing strength training, led by an effective volunteer trainer. Slowly I got stronger, and one by one, exercises which had seemed impossible in the beginning entered the realm of possibility. I am still doing strength training 3 times a week--by God's grace and the support of my husband and my buddies.
TONIGHT I WAS ABLE TO DO LUNGES. Real forward lunges. Knee-all-the-way-to-90-degrees-and-back lunges! What an encouragement. It's something objective and concrete to cling to on the days I feel like Eeyore.
[What is a forward lunge? Watch this: www.sparkpeople.com/resource/exercis
I could tell I was getting generally stronger, with better balance and less fatigue. But although I worked on lunges valiantly, I struggled to get down very far at all, and for so long I was wobbly. But I kept doing them at whatever level I was able . . . while mentally I suspected that lunges must be something in the category of a back flip: not achievable at my age or condition.
But tonight I could do them!! I was so pleased and surprised! I feel a new hope in where I can go at age 52. And a new conviction about the WONDERS which can result from itsy-bitsy teeny-tiny baby steps, over a long period of time.
Yes, I know, I know . . . this concept has been drilled into me for months. Guess I'm a bit stubborn. But for me, this is memorable proof, thanks be to God.
If you are feeling discouraged, hang in there. We all have low points. But gradually, incrementally, we are getting somewhere!!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Another of my daily affirmations: I used to be that way; but now I am different. I value me and I will treat myself as well as I treat my loved ones.
- from AnnAnn63 blog 3/17/10
. . . My first ever 5K run. I refuse to call it a race, because I just want to run the whole thing and finish. I am not racing anyone except the old me. - from The_Jules blog 4/6/10
People tell me that its amazing to watch because it is like I am shrinking before their eyes, which yeah is amazing... But who will I be because I don't know that girl who isn't chubby.
- from PrincessAlica blog 4/16/10
I've never felt so powerless with Mama being so sick, but not blowing all the hard work I've done was the most empowering thing I've experienced in a long time. We're still in the middle of lots of concerns for her...but I know I can do this "taking care of myself" thing AND do what I need to do to help. That's the person I've always wanted to be. - from Begoniac blog 5/30/2010
Who I am really keeps surprising me. - Poet Nikki Giovanni, from RTLisa signature
And you know what, although it is important to take care of this body, it is just a shell. This body is not who I really am. Yes, I have been ashamed of my obesity, but I am proud of the strength that I have found within and that my Creator and Savior has given me to make a change. I am proud of the disciplines that have taken root within me and the growth I have seen within myself by exercising those disciplines. This journey is not just about losing weight; this journey is about becoming a stronger, better person; and I think it is happening, by the grace of God.
- from WarmSpringDay blog 4/29/10
My thighs aren't here to impress others—they're tools for me to use to live my life to the fullest. My thighs are strong. My legs carry me through my day and my life. I'm fortunate to have legs that are able to walk, run, bike and do all the things I enjoy. I should appreciate my legs, including my thighs—for all the reasons that make them great—more often. And I reject the idea that I should change to fit in to some culturally stipulated idea that every person should look a certain way. Just like hair color or height, people's bodies are different sizes and shapes. I'm fine just as I am! - from Nichole Nichols article - http://www.dailyspark.com/blog.asp?post=bo
Being actively engaged and applying energy to bring about positive change in ourselves is empowering. I don't feel stress about the weight I still have to lose because I'm feeling good about how far I have come.
- from BigLittleWoman 4/16/10 comment on Freelady blog
Skin is an amazing organ. I dare any genius to create a covering as perfect as skin. It can stretch with us from covering a 7 pound baby to hundreds of pounds and more. It is waterproof and keeps our insides dry, but can release fluid by sweating. It protects us from infections, bumps, falls. It helps us cool down, and helps us keep warm. It can take in medication and create vitamin D. It heals itself when it gets cut or torn. It can withstand a hit, and feel the slightest touch. It is so flexible that it can tolerate stretches and bends over and over again while we move without cracking or breaking. All this, and we complain about wrinkles and cellulite? What are we thinking? - from FitJane blog 3/27/10
We sometimes get a wrong picture of ourselves when we let the words of others control our thinking. That is why it is so important to be in God's Word - which is flawless and never tells us anything that is false. We have to get an accurate view of ourselves from God our Creator. He tells us we are fearfully and wonderfully made, that He has a plan for us - and a wonderful one at that! (Jeremiah 29:11)
-from Mariean 1/6/2010 comment on HeartMend blog
Friday, August 06, 2010
August is for sharpening up on things I had let slide. I had stopped the discipline of leaving something on my plate. Sometimes . . . I had nearly stopped leaving anything in the pan!
Seriously . . . I am gaining strength in the habit of not putting anything in my mouth once I have felt that first nudge of satiety. It is simply a choice: WHAT DO I WANT MORE? Do I want to be healthy and slim and move easily, or do I want the momentary sensation and/or anaesthetic of continuing to chew and swallow?
Letting myself eat more than I need is not true liberty. It is not being kind to myself. Truly being good to myself is doing whatever it takes to ditch this excess weight.
Thursday, August 05, 2010
At Wal-mart I had to return an item without a receipt and presented my driver's license. The clerk said, "You look so different from your picture here." I gave a small smile and stood calmly while she processed the refund. "Really, this looks a lot different," she pursued.
"I've lost 50 pounds," I said quietly. She pulled out the receipt and handed it to me with the store credit.
"That is actually you, right?" the clerk pressed. "Cause honestly, you look so very different from that picture. I'm not kidding you."
"Oh, definitely," I said. "That's my license!" and chuckled as I left.
As we went to the car, my daughters said the clerk was right, that my face doesn't look at all like that drivers license photo. One daughter checked the renewal date, which is late in 2011, and sweetly suggested I might enjoy planning to reach my goal weight by that time (so I'd have an accurate photo from then on!).
"Oh, I sure BETTER be at goal weight by then!!" I exclaimed. But it was a good reality check nonetheless. I've come a long way, but I gotta stop puttering around. I gotta get really serious and make good on that boast!
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