Friday, August 06, 2010
August is for sharpening up on things I had let slide. I had stopped the discipline of leaving something on my plate. Sometimes . . . I had nearly stopped leaving anything in the pan!
Seriously . . . I am gaining strength in the habit of not putting anything in my mouth once I have felt that first nudge of satiety. It is simply a choice: WHAT DO I WANT MORE? Do I want to be healthy and slim and move easily, or do I want the momentary sensation and/or anaesthetic of continuing to chew and swallow?
Letting myself eat more than I need is not true liberty. It is not being kind to myself. Truly being good to myself is doing whatever it takes to ditch this excess weight.
Thursday, August 05, 2010
At Wal-mart I had to return an item without a receipt and presented my driver's license. The clerk said, "You look so different from your picture here." I gave a small smile and stood calmly while she processed the refund. "Really, this looks a lot different," she pursued.
"I've lost 50 pounds," I said quietly. She pulled out the receipt and handed it to me with the store credit.
"That is actually you, right?" the clerk pressed. "Cause honestly, you look so very different from that picture. I'm not kidding you."
"Oh, definitely," I said. "That's my license!" and chuckled as I left.
As we went to the car, my daughters said the clerk was right, that my face doesn't look at all like that drivers license photo. One daughter checked the renewal date, which is late in 2011, and sweetly suggested I might enjoy planning to reach my goal weight by that time (so I'd have an accurate photo from then on!).
"Oh, I sure BETTER be at goal weight by then!!" I exclaimed. But it was a good reality check nonetheless. I've come a long way, but I gotta stop puttering around. I gotta get really serious and make good on that boast!
Wednesday, August 04, 2010
We gotta forget what has happened. We have all failed. But we can't just forget about those lessons we have learned. We don't have to relearn those hard lessons that the Lord has taught us. We take those lessons with us, as we go on our journey.
- from LIVING_FREE blog 3/11/10
Let your head be more than a funnel to your stomach.
-- German Proverb, quoted on SewingMeg signature
I just need to draw back a bit and see the big picture. I think I'm confusing activity for results so it's time to see the forest.
- from ID_VANDAL blog 3/31/10
But what are you doing this all for anyway? A number on a scale? Well then you stand the chance of living the rest of your life a few numbers away from happiness.
- from DownHomeDiva blog 4/13/10
When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.
- by Helen Keller from FARM-CHICK page
Sincere gratitude empowers you to focus on the positive aspects of life, and develops into greater awareness and appreciation of the overlooked, often misinterpreted, and ever so important little blessings that make up this experience we call life.
- SparkMessage from MazzyR, quoted from the Community Message Boards, posted by Rebcca, Forum: Staying Motivated, Topic: April 2010 - Daily Gratitudes
Typically, I've always shied away from being critiqued. What I wanted was validation; not to be systematically picked apart. Growth is showing!! . . . Examining yourself for the purpose of improvement is easy when you are seeking excellence. This is all so new to me! I'm redefining my sense of failure. It's not failure to face where you are missing it. We need that revelation in order to get better. That and the resolve to practice consistently until everything lines up. - from JoyAtLast blog 4/2/10
Luck is what happens when opportunity meets preparation.
- Seneca, Roman dramatist, philosopher, & politician (5 BC - 65 AD)
You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer youself any direction you choose!
- from Dr. Seuss, quoted by Momma_Little in status update, 4/8/10
If you are clear about what you want, the world responds with clarity.
-- Loretta Staples quoted on Connected1 signature
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Today was the long-anticipated (see previous blog, June 3) picnic-and-recreation for church volunteers & their families. My resolve was flagging this week as I thought about the unavoidably public nature of the rope swing challenge (run down the bank holding on to a 75-foot rope swing and launch myself into the lake). "I am still such a large person," I thought. "It will be a humiliating spectacle."
I kept feeling reluctant because I had hoped to lose 10 more pounds by this point, but I haven't done that. "At least I can prepare myself for the buffet," I told myself. So I planned what I would eat (including some treats), and prepared myself to resist the pressure to overeat. My take-in contribution was a huge spinach salad with shredded carrots, walnuts, and cranberries.
When I got to the lake today, I decided I HAD TO do the rope swing. Recently whenever I have pushed myself to do something out of my comfort zone, I have been so glad I did. I knew if I wimped out or allowed embarrassment to deter me, I would always regret it. I want my kids to see a mom who isn't afraid (or too self-conscious) to keep trying things, even at age 52.
I did it twice. It was a blast. Exhilarating! I didn't feel fat; I felt courageous!!
Also, I ate mindfully and with restraint. Thanks be to God! People brought many healthy & nutritious foods, so that helps a lot!
I want to build on the confidence of this day to start losing again! I have been silent for several weeks, and my computer time is still extremely limited. My faithful SparkFriends have continued to reach out to me, and how much that has heartened me! You guys are the greatest. Your encouragement means a great deal to me!
Thursday, June 03, 2010
Today I received an invitation for a July 25 picnic celebrating a volunteer group at church. You gotta hear this, and I quote:
"Keep in mind that at the lake there will be kayaking, paddle boating, yard games and swimming, so don't come in your church clothes. And speaking of swimming.......the main attraction is the 75ft rope swing that can throw you out as high as 20 feet over the surface of the water!!!....you can also can launch yourself at a much lower height for a slightly lesser thrill. It's quite a ride, so come prepared......if you dare!"
I've had 2 disciplined days in June, by the mercy of Jesus, and NOW I have even more motivation. I'm planning to do that rope swing, and I don't want the thrill diluted by any more self-consciousness than necessary. I'll be well covered, for sure, but I don't want to make a SHAMU SIZE SPLASH. I'm going to visualize my slimmer self flying through the air and later swimming to the shore. I'm going to imagine the glide of the kayak skimming serenely with my tiny backside in it! Okay, tinier backside. But I am going to do this, and June and July are going to be FABULOUS!
P.S. My self-disciplined June will be a quieter one regarding SparkPeople. Some family medical issues and overwhelming overdue home projects are going to keep me away from the computer for the most part. WATCH MY TICKER because I mean business, even if I'm skimpy on correspondence! I appreciate all your support, and I'll be back!
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