Sunday, April 18, 2010
Many of the skills and concepts I have begun to learn through the Beck Diet Solution will be with me the rest of my life. The ongoing practice will keep bringing benefits.
I suspect that new benefits will continue to emerge with long-term implementation.
Yesterday I was at the fresh food market and they gave out little dishes with samples of chicken fajitas and spanish rice, from their gourmet-to-go department. I carried it around the corner to the in-store coffee counter (which was deserted) since sitting down to eat anything is what I do now.
I confess I sighed a little on the way, but I counseled myself, "This is just something I need to do for my health."
My old self, the hesitant, self-conscious one, whispered, "What if the clerk doesn't like you sitting there?" and Freelady replied, "I'll just smile and say I have to sit down whenever I eat."
Here's the ongoing-practice element: because I took a moment to walk to a seat, and because I sat there eating mindfully, I had the opportunity and attention to notice something. After a nibble it was clear that the Spanish rice was not worth the calories.
Pre-Beck, I would have thought, "Free food!" and scarfed the whole thing in a few seconds while walking through the produce section.
Many other Beck operations need a lot more work from me. I'll be reading the book again slowly and re-vamping my Response Cards.
Thanks be to God for giving me life, and for each day's breath and strength to come this far. I'm more than halfway and I'm not quitting ever.
Thank you, more than I can say, to each of you who has been so warm and supportive. We can do this!!!
Monday, April 12, 2010
For a number of reasons I have been on the computer very little for the past several days, and it's likely to be that way for a few days more.
I am participating in a couple challenges, and that accountability has been the key for me to keep doing what I should!
God is merciful and I am thankful that things are going okay.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Just when I was thinking of coasting through the weekend, a thought-provoking blog written Friday by ID_Vandal arrested my slide.
Vandal said, "Work has just been piling on . . . I wanted to run and have breakfast at my old fast food place---run to where I felt in control, I guess."
Zing! A shot to the heart! I have been learning some painful life lessons lately about my need to feel in control.
I've taken a few faltering steps of progress. So this issue echoed in my alley. It haunted me, flickering on the edges of my consciousness all day.
Then at one point I saw half a bagel sitting out and reached for it.
You may eavesdrop on the conversation between my Slacker Self and FreeLady:
FL: Wait, what are you doing? You stopped nibbling on leftovers months ago!
SS: Yeah, I know. Kicking that habit helped me turn around. (withdraws hand)
FL: That was one of your definite rules. You liked having those rules!
SS: Well . . . a lot of people say rules don't work for weight loss.
FL: Your rules were part of losing 50 pounds.
SS: Yeah, well . . . so what.
FL: You've been pondering ID_Vandal's blog, that you like to feel in control.
SS: Okay, I like to feel in control. So what?
FL: Just noticing that this happens to be something you COULD control.
FL: You have total control over whether you pick up a scrap and put it in your mouth.
SS: [reluctantly] Yeah . . .
FL: You have full control over whether you walk out the door to go running.
SS: [defensively] Yeah . . .
FL: Why not control the things you actually do have power over?
FL: Ever thought about taking that driving need for control and applying it to things that benefit your health?
SS: [long silence] . . . I guess it crossed my mind a couple times.
FL: What about using Beck's list process to clarify your options?
SS: Yeah . . . my mind's racing now. I gotta write some things down.
I have some homework assignments (long-term):
RELEASE things I cannot control
(including praying and trusting God, the All-wise, All-loving, and All-powerful).
ACT on things I can control!
SOME OF THE THINGS I CANNOT CONTROL:
How high my taxes are
3 sons' safety downtown at the baseball game
If my local library shuts down early next year
My sister's diabetic retinopathy
My dear friend's son's peril in Afghanistan
An employer's injustice to a family member
How difficult my van is to repair
Manufacturing flaws in knitting yarn
If my daughter stays cancer-free (healthy 5 years; prognosis excellent)
SOME OF THE THINGS I CAN CONTROL
Avoiding grazing on leftovers
Eating mindfully instead of with distraction
Selecting health-giving portions
Wearing sneakers so I'm ready for impromptu exercise
Taking my vitamins
Drinking enough water
Fulfilling scheduled exercise
Speaking to my family with patience
WHY WOULDN'T I CONTROL THE THINGS I DO HAVE CONTROL OVER?
I'm going to be chewing on that question a long time!
P.S. Don't get too cocky, Twenty-four Day Tweak competitors! I have not allowed weekend slumps to interfere with my challenge! (Beck Diet Solution Team)
Friday, April 09, 2010
I am only two "DAYS" away from finishing my first pass through the Beck Diet Solution which I started on December 29, 2009. Then I'll be starting through the book from the beginning and doing all the tasks again. I need a refresher. But for me it is a big deal to have persevered to the end!
Dr. Beck suggests I pick some of my "After Weight Loss Goals" to start working toward right now.
I'm selecting "Improve Hairstyle." I have always been neat and clean, but last year I started thinking that after I reach my goal weight I would try some different styles. I'm going to talk to my stylist friend about more layers or different layers.
A bit of this "start goals now" I have started doing already. Not too long into Beck I realized I had for years been dressing to blend into the woodwork---to be as inconspicuous as possible. So no one would notice I was overweight? Not to provoke unnecessary criticism? Sigh. I do feel compassion for my old, even-larger self.
So now, even though I am still definitely overweight, I have enjoyed wearing some brighter colors. I have been pondering what I really like, as opposed to the cliches I always felt safe hiding behind (the tasteful business uniform, the moderately dressy church uniform, the self-respecting-intelligent- mom uniform, the frugal-but-slightly-preppy uniform . . . yikes, I scare myself!!)
Guess what! I do like classic, but with a bit of flair, an unexpected twist, an eccentric element. I've enjoyed wearing my mango ballet flats with my khaki trousers. I added a chartreuse cardigan to the jeans and white shirt. Maybe I will get really adventurous, who knows?
The other pre-skinny bravery has involved sports. Long ago I decided I would have to get over my concern about being the fattest person in the exercise class, in the pool, etc. I decided if I hadn't been too embarrassed to walk over to a table and put a sweet, fatty dessert on my plate, why should I be embarrassed to do something to get healthier?
After I lost just a little weight I went to the women's basketball evenings at my church. Every one of those girls was about 30 and thin and muscular. Each had a great sense of humor. They were happy for me to play with them and applauded my smallest achievements. It was a lot of fun, tremendous cardio, and terrific for my self image. I was a basketball player!
Since then I have done more swimming, tennis, and joined in multitude of various games with my offspring and their friends. Same results: enjoyment, calorie burn, and improved viewpoint.
My other suspicion is this: the more fun I have doing legitimate stuff, the less I will be tempted to seek recreational satisfaction from food.
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