Sunday, April 11, 2010
Just when I was thinking of coasting through the weekend, a thought-provoking blog written Friday by ID_Vandal arrested my slide.
Vandal said, "Work has just been piling on . . . I wanted to run and have breakfast at my old fast food place---run to where I felt in control, I guess."
Zing! A shot to the heart! I have been learning some painful life lessons lately about my need to feel in control.
I've taken a few faltering steps of progress. So this issue echoed in my alley. It haunted me, flickering on the edges of my consciousness all day.
Then at one point I saw half a bagel sitting out and reached for it.
You may eavesdrop on the conversation between my Slacker Self and FreeLady:
FL: Wait, what are you doing? You stopped nibbling on leftovers months ago!
SS: Yeah, I know. Kicking that habit helped me turn around. (withdraws hand)
FL: That was one of your definite rules. You liked having those rules!
SS: Well . . . a lot of people say rules don't work for weight loss.
FL: Your rules were part of losing 50 pounds.
SS: Yeah, well . . . so what.
FL: You've been pondering ID_Vandal's blog, that you like to feel in control.
SS: Okay, I like to feel in control. So what?
FL: Just noticing that this happens to be something you COULD control.
FL: You have total control over whether you pick up a scrap and put it in your mouth.
SS: [reluctantly] Yeah . . .
FL: You have full control over whether you walk out the door to go running.
SS: [defensively] Yeah . . .
FL: Why not control the things you actually do have power over?
FL: Ever thought about taking that driving need for control and applying it to things that benefit your health?
SS: [long silence] . . . I guess it crossed my mind a couple times.
FL: What about using Beck's list process to clarify your options?
SS: Yeah . . . my mind's racing now. I gotta write some things down.
I have some homework assignments (long-term):
RELEASE things I cannot control
(including praying and trusting God, the All-wise, All-loving, and All-powerful).
ACT on things I can control!
SOME OF THE THINGS I CANNOT CONTROL:
How high my taxes are
3 sons' safety downtown at the baseball game
If my local library shuts down early next year
My sister's diabetic retinopathy
My dear friend's son's peril in Afghanistan
An employer's injustice to a family member
How difficult my van is to repair
Manufacturing flaws in knitting yarn
If my daughter stays cancer-free (healthy 5 years; prognosis excellent)
SOME OF THE THINGS I CAN CONTROL
Avoiding grazing on leftovers
Eating mindfully instead of with distraction
Selecting health-giving portions
Wearing sneakers so I'm ready for impromptu exercise
Taking my vitamins
Drinking enough water
Fulfilling scheduled exercise
Speaking to my family with patience
WHY WOULDN'T I CONTROL THE THINGS I DO HAVE CONTROL OVER?
I'm going to be chewing on that question a long time!
P.S. Don't get too cocky, Twenty-four Day Tweak competitors! I have not allowed weekend slumps to interfere with my challenge! (Beck Diet Solution Team)
Friday, April 09, 2010
I am only two "DAYS" away from finishing my first pass through the Beck Diet Solution which I started on December 29, 2009. Then I'll be starting through the book from the beginning and doing all the tasks again. I need a refresher. But for me it is a big deal to have persevered to the end!
Dr. Beck suggests I pick some of my "After Weight Loss Goals" to start working toward right now.
I'm selecting "Improve Hairstyle." I have always been neat and clean, but last year I started thinking that after I reach my goal weight I would try some different styles. I'm going to talk to my stylist friend about more layers or different layers.
A bit of this "start goals now" I have started doing already. Not too long into Beck I realized I had for years been dressing to blend into the woodwork---to be as inconspicuous as possible. So no one would notice I was overweight? Not to provoke unnecessary criticism? Sigh. I do feel compassion for my old, even-larger self.
So now, even though I am still definitely overweight, I have enjoyed wearing some brighter colors. I have been pondering what I really like, as opposed to the cliches I always felt safe hiding behind (the tasteful business uniform, the moderately dressy church uniform, the self-respecting-intelligent- mom uniform, the frugal-but-slightly-preppy uniform . . . yikes, I scare myself!!)
Guess what! I do like classic, but with a bit of flair, an unexpected twist, an eccentric element. I've enjoyed wearing my mango ballet flats with my khaki trousers. I added a chartreuse cardigan to the jeans and white shirt. Maybe I will get really adventurous, who knows?
The other pre-skinny bravery has involved sports. Long ago I decided I would have to get over my concern about being the fattest person in the exercise class, in the pool, etc. I decided if I hadn't been too embarrassed to walk over to a table and put a sweet, fatty dessert on my plate, why should I be embarrassed to do something to get healthier?
After I lost just a little weight I went to the women's basketball evenings at my church. Every one of those girls was about 30 and thin and muscular. Each had a great sense of humor. They were happy for me to play with them and applauded my smallest achievements. It was a lot of fun, tremendous cardio, and terrific for my self image. I was a basketball player!
Since then I have done more swimming, tennis, and joined in multitude of various games with my offspring and their friends. Same results: enjoyment, calorie burn, and improved viewpoint.
My other suspicion is this: the more fun I have doing legitimate stuff, the less I will be tempted to seek recreational satisfaction from food.
Thursday, April 08, 2010
Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: What! You too? I thought I was the only one!
- from C.S. Lewis, (1898-1963) British essayist and author of the Chronicles of Narnia, quoted in BigLittleWoman blog 3/27/10
I'm convinced you need to have a plan and a coach or maybe two that can AND WILL kick your rear end when you are just feeling sorry for yourself or letting yourself backslide and let's face it all of us are perfectly capable of excusing ourselves and feeling sorry for ourselves and sometimes we need someone who knows when to be gentle and supportive or when to jar us out of feeling sorry for ourselves. We need someone whose voice we hear and listen to above the crowd even if that voice is getting in our face sometimes.
- from ID_VANDAL blog 8/13/09
If we were outside of ourselves and could watch ourselves, we would see these things we do, these habits that hurt us. But from the inside we just don't see it.
- from BigLittleWoman 3/17 comment on Freelady blog 3/16/10
Learning not to dwell on my failures and not to give up totally is an ongoing lesson that Spark friends have helped me with. One step at a time, one day at a time, over and over they add up to a loss, however slow or small, it's progress! I'm learning to be satisfied with the slow and small losses after putting forth great efforts. - from RitaRose comment on TravelGrrl blog 3/16/10
We can't all be on top of our game every day but when we read others blogs and comments we can absorb their good attitudes, inspiration, fortitude and insight. Some things we know but they slip to the back of our minds and are brought forward when we are reminded once again. - from BigLittleWoman blog 3/20/10
You are NOT how much you weigh. You are a complete, wonderful person who does many worthwhile and loving things on a regular basis. Think about wonderful you and forgive yourself for your perceived failings regarding your food plan, exercise plan, and weight. There are many things in life you cannot change but you can eat better, exercise appropriately and in time you will weigh less. -from ANNANN63 Coaching Corner post 3/16/10
Whenever you are down in the dumps, go into Sparkland. Under the Healthy Lifestyle Tab at the top of the page you can choose the motivation tab. Go there and explore. I dare you to read one or two of those stories, blogs or articles and still be down in the dumps. You won't be, I swear. - from BigLittleWoman blog 3/14/10
To physically hear through words and actions that "YOU MATTER" can shine light on the darkest moments! Sometimes, all it takes is a flashlight of kindness... a smile... a real compliment... a sincere comforting word or two... to bring you out of the shadows and back into the sunshine! - from Momma_Little blog 4/6/10
It is the nature of man to rise to greatness if greatness is expected of him.
- from John Steinbeck, quoted in HULTHEN signature
Getting to ONEderland doesn't have to be a dream, it can be YOUR reality!
It became my reality this week and it wasn't some magic pill that got me there. It was a combination of hard work, sweat, support of family, friends and my new SP family, utilizing the tools on SP, and my body bugg. Mostly, it was God's grace. He taught me to have grace for myself. This hasn't been a perfect journey. In the past this journey has been all or nothing. One mess up and I was done. He has taken me on an incredible journey teaching me about grace with others, my family and finally myself. There have been some pretty tough lessons in this journey but He has been by my side the entire time. - from BMWEBSTER blog 3/10/10
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
Yesterday my 17 yo son had a birthday party here with 7 friends. These guys are born comics and delightful young men. It was a blast. By God's mercy the rain cleared in time to play extended outdoor basketball, a highlight for everyone.
In thinking back over how I did on eating yesterday, I was astonished to realize two things:
a) I enjoyed my food very much yesterday.
b) I hardly thought about food all day yesterday.
This tells me how much my mindset has changed, ESPECIALLY on a party day.
I had planned my food ahead of time, allowing for pizza and cake.
I had a moderate breakfast and a moderate lunch. I wasn't hungry for planned snacks. I really enjoyed the planned pizza---deep dish---and it was worth it.
I had planned to have soda pop---it would be "for one last time" since today is the first official day of the Twenty-Four Day Tweak, the challenge from the Beck Diet Solution team. (My goal for "Extinguish a Habit" is to eliminate sweet drinks.) I don't bring pop home even for parties but with eight boys playing basketball I caved and bought it. I did put some on my food plan, but when the time came I decided that it wasn't worth the calories.
I did have two pieces of cake, which I'm not proud of. But the astonishing thing is that food just wasn't on my mind over the course of the day. That is radical for me when a party is in the picture, whether I'm host or guest.
Up until a few months ago, when the word party came up my first thought would be what was to eat and how abundant. I would literally feel impatience ahead of time, and at the party an urgency to get a generous quantity. Even if I wasn't constantly eating, it would never be far from my thoughts. I would be uncomfortably full, yet wishing I could eat more. All of this is embarrassing to tell; I was in denial myself about its unhealthy pattern for so many years.
It is true that yesterday I was busy and occupied, but that never interfered with food fixation in the past.
All I did was follow the instructions in the Beck Diet Solution for a number of months. God helped me do it, layer upon layer of small behavioral steps. I used the Beck cards and experienced gradual mental retraining. [You can read my Response Cards in blogs beginning here www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
I still have a long way to go both in choices and thinking, but to experience a PARTY with such liberty is monumental for me.
I reflected on some specific elements that operated yesterday:
*** I am required to sit down to eat. Although I scoffed at Beck about this, I obeyed conscientiously, and it is ingrained. So while I was host, on my feet all day taking care of things, a) I did not graze, and b) Eating was off the radar since I could not graze.
Yes, it has taken four months of strict sitting-down observance to make it automatic, but it has finally clicked to the extent that it's not a struggle and it's OFF MY MIND IF I'M STANDING OR WALKING. I did not anticipate this fringe benefit of the eat-only-sitting-down edict, but I'm elated. (I'm sure I will still have many times of struggle, but to taste liberty is amazing.)
***Planning my food choices ahead gives me FOOD SECURITY. I knew I could eat 2 slices of pizza and some fabulous cake and it would not be bad; it would not make me feel guilty. Chips are not worth it for me so I had decided no chips.
***Planning my food ahead means I did not have to view this party as my last chance for any food indulgence. I can have something yummy tomorrow, and the day after that. I just have to put it on my plan, in a moderate amount, and keep exercising.
***Beck has trained me to eat slowly and mindfully. I was aware of each bite of pizza and how good it was. I really enjoyed it. I savored the wonderful appearance of the cake, everyone's appreciation of it, and my daughter's initiative and skill. So the feel of it in my mouth and sliding down my throat wasn't the only thing I was relying on for pleasure. At the same time, I fully enjoyed every bit of it. So I was able to feel plenty of food-mouth satisfaction.
***All of the new thinking learned with Beck has opened the vista to enjoy more of life. Not focused so desperately on food, I experience more pleasure overall. When I'm letting myself enjoy lots of different sensations and experiences, I don't need the food fix so urgently.
This morning when I asked myself, "How did I do on food choices yesterday?" I was so intrigued that I just hadn't thought about food very much. Wonderingly, I asked, "HOW DID I DO THAT??" And the plain answer was, I have just followed the Beck Days one bitsy step at a time. With God's help, just doing the assignments somehow transforms my relationship with food.
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
My workout coach clarified the directions for cardio intervals --when I want to maximize fat burn without metabolizing lean muscle.
He said the research shows that what is effective is bursts of intensity interspersed with recovery level exercise. Total cardio workout is best kept to 30 minutes.
To burn the most fat I should work on increasing the duration of the intense, full-steam portion of the run (or swim or bike) while maintaining its high-demand intensity.
*10 min. warm-up -- jog or walk very fast
*10 intervals each consisting of 10 seconds of full-effort sprint plus 50 seconds fast walk or jog
*10 min. cool down -- jog or walk very fast
When I want to increase the challenge, the most fat-burning comes through shifting seconds to the sprint surges, maintaining 60 second intervals. For more challenging cardio, the center portion would look like this:
*10 intervals each consisting of 15 seconds full-steam sprint plus 45 seconds fast-walk or jog.
As I condition, the middle block can move to
*10 intervals each consisting of 20 seconds hard sprint and 45 seconds fast walk or jog, and eventually
between warm up and cool down I would run
*10 intervals each consisting of 30 seconds sprint and 30 seconds fast walk or jog.
It is more significant to keep the bursts intense, every second expending full effort. Better to stay at sprinting 10 seconds with every second a full-out sprint, than to extend the interval without the full surge intensity. The metabolism will be most efficient for burning fat if the total time is kept to 30 minutes. Longer cardio conditions the metabolism to conserve fuel for sustained demand.
Get An Email Alert Each Time FREELADY Posts