Tuesday, March 16, 2010
(one of the Beck Diet Solution steps)
This challenge is going to be a long process for me. I shall persevere. Beck has many good instructions.
Right now the Emotional Eating issue reminds me of the "Bear Hunt" chant I learned in Girl Scouts: Can't go over it, can't go under it, can't go through it, GOTTA GO AROUND IT! So far my "going around it" is DOING the processes as I'm instructed in Spark and Beck. Along the way, emotional stuff gets dealt with. Along the way, I'm getting stronger, and able to deal with additional emotional stuff. In the meantime, the helpful behaviors produce physical results which make me feel better.
I was running behind and grabbed the bag of Wasabi Almonds as I left for a meeting. My husband was driving us the short distance.
First thought: We'll be there in just a couple minutes; I'll just nibble a few out of the bag. Second thought: No, I always need to portion it out; I know the calories for 22 almonds so just take that many. I count them and seal the bag.
Something reminds me of an argument I witnessed earlier. I'm thinking of what she said and what he said and what they coulda woulda shoulda said. A couple minutes, literally.
I look down and see 9 almonds in my hand. NINE.
I have NO MEMORY of eating 13 almonds.
BUT because of the principle and habit of not eating out of the bag, my mindless eating could only go so far. At least this time I didn't snap out of my reverie to find I'd unconsciously eaten half the bag!
During the extended process to Eliminate Emotional Eating, Beck's prescription makes the journey go a lot smoother.
Monday, March 15, 2010
On a last-minute out-of-state trip, this response card saved the day: "I can stick to my eating plan no matter what is going on in my life." Although I scoffed when I first read this statement in the Beck Diet Solution, I made a choice to behave as if it were true . . . essentially to make it come true.
I need lots of this, since for many years I practiced unhealthy eating, so I have to REPLACE many strong emotional links between travel activities and junk food or junk choices.
I had a favorite junk-food combo for mid-afternoon at the beach. I replaced that with black grapes & habanero almonds, which taste great to me. I had to visualize myself utterly relaxed, loving the beach, and thrilled with my healthy snack. I did this before we left and I "practiced" each night before a beach outing.
My travel strategy is to review the next day's upcoming activities, as best I can predict, and mentally rehearse healthy choices in each situation. If I know a restaurant or at least what type, I plan a likely food order and visualize myself eating it with delight.
I mentally rehearse what might be necessary to keep myself plentifully supplied with water, since not drinking enough will sink my efforts faster than anything!
I love it that positive choices breed more positive choices: when I am successful doing it the healthy way, I am building up a new memory bank of good choices . . . creating new grooves of habit to make it easier next time.
On one trip I noticed I was excusing unhealthy eating by whining to myself, "Everything they serve here is bad for me!" After analysis and prayer I wrote this response card:
"SOMETHING here is a better choice. I can pick what most nearly fits my eating plan. At least I can stick with an appropriate portion. I will be so happy later if I'm resourceful even when the selection is more challenging!"
If I blow it on a trip, it is even more critical to say, "I can get back on track THIS MINUTE!"
I do allot myself extra calories while traveling, according to Beck's option. If I have a goal I can still hit each day, I feel like I'm staying on track, and that really helps my overall motivation.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
What can I say to my Spark friends and associates who have encouraged me in so many ways . . . your support and kindness really lifted me up from the blues and the blahs. I send to you all an inadequate yet vigorous THANK YOU!!!
With all of your generous help I can sincerely say, OF COURSE I am not going to put that weight back on and OF COURSE I will keep going in this healthy lifestyle. I will reach a healthy weight some time in 2010 and stay in a healthy range while God gives me breath!
I am also giving myself CREDIT that I did not even THINK about eating a donut at church today. That was a previous Waterloo . . . but I'm encouraged that the habit of planning ahead for a healthy Sunday breakfast is so ingrained that I wasn't even tempted. I ate a healthy lunch, except for an unplanned breadstick my son brought home. No big deal.
I'm back on track and keeping myself moderate and sensible, not obsessive. Except about SparkPeople and blogging, of course . . . .
DAY 31 of Beck Diet Solution: "Decide about drinking." Alcohol doesn't appeal to me. It's not really on my radar. Plus it seems to present complications I don't need, such as expense, calories, and (even slight) altered judgment. For Beck's "decision," I'm deciding to skip it entirely. I well understand that I could use a little loosening up, but I'll pursue that through prayer and meditation (especially Scripture), human affection, humor, breathing techniques, aerobic dance, exercise, recreation with my family, volunteer work, calligraphy, crochet, painting and music (both crudely amateur but delightful for me).
Saturday, March 13, 2010
When I have an overeating crash, I have been able to get back on track pretty fast with my food choices and planning/tracking. But I've noticed several times that what really suffers is my self-confidence.
Thursday night I was tired and worrying about my 2 sick girls (they're okay now). Plus I felt like I was coming down with their bronchitis myself. I didn't put it in God's hands; I fretted and then I ate some extra stuff. It wasn't very good, and I didn't enjoy it that much, but I didn't stop myself either. I just kept taking what I had put on the plate and loading it in my mouth. I did go ahead and log everything that night and make my food plan for Friday.
Friday I was trying to shake off the cold/cough. I followed my food plan and I told myself the information about getting back on track, but I felt little hope. I gave myself credit for not buying the coke & popcorn I wanted when I got gas, not eating a pastry while I got groceries, not going through the fast-food drive-in window, not eating a sloppy-joe and coke at the basketball concession stand. But I felt like each of those were narrow escapes. My "No Choice" button was broken.
I did go over my Advantages and several other Response Cards. I read several chapters of Beck and my daughter role-played some of the "in sessions" with me. God is helping me get back on track. My food behaviors are on target.
But my confidence is very low. Repeatedly I have to fight the worry that maybe I won't be able to keep losing, that maybe I won't even be able to maintain where I've got thus far. I'm trying to be rational. I know my Spark Friends will help me keep going. I know God is with me. My family will love me no matter what.
I miss that extra oomph that consistency gives me. Yes, it's normal and expected to have eating mistakes. But I want to remember that for me, it can be most costly in terms of mentality and motivation.
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