Monday, March 01, 2010
We drove to a basketball tournament on an unfamiliar route. But I recognized a spot where last summer a friend and I got a snack while on a day trip.
"That's the store where I got V-8 juice and almonds," I thought.
Then it hit me. Now I have had a memory of something healthy!! I have actually been doing this long enough to experience nostalgia from a location associated with a food choice I'm proud of.
For so many years I was oriented to food recreation. On most any excursion, I knew all the best little spots to get junk-treats and indulgent food. It has been a huge switch to plan outings which revolve around other enjoyments. It's a difference I like very much now.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Today I put on a new shirt from my closet, a gift I never wore because it was way too small. I kept this one because it had classic lines, and in some hopeful corner of my mind I thought maybe someday I could wear it.
I started smiling and smiling because the shirt fits. It actually looks very nice. I bravely walked to the full length mirror and laughed out loud. I really don't look all that fat.
My weight is creeping down slowly--still on track for losing 40 pounds this calendar year. But for some reason with this last 5 pounds the change in my appearance took a big jump. Don't really understand it, but it makes me giggle.
I remembered at that moment how agonizing it had been to stop eating free donuts every week at Sunday School. It was a habit of many years and they were delicious. The donuts at church were one of my toughest changes. But I did taper off and about a year I ago I stopped going over to that side of the room altogether. I take a piece of fruit or a little pack of nuts and it's okay.
By God's grace I made that decision, and a thousand others over the past months. But I truly did not have the imagination to foresee how good this moment would be.
Suddenly I had such clarity. DONUTS??? ARRRGGGHHH!!
All . . these . . years . . I have been missing out on this great feeling----in exchange for stuff on the level of DONUTS???????
I'm focusing to preserve this snapshot of sanity, because when I'm in the trenches it can be so hard to have perspective. Today the question was a bugle in my head:
"You wanna go back to how it used to be? You wanna trade back and be 48 pounds heavier, but be able to eat donuts, and whatever else you feel like?"
NO. Never. From where I'm standing now it seems a ludicrous choice. But that was the value system I was operating by, when I didn't care enough to make the choices meal by meal and snack by snack. Like Esau, I was bartering a significant future for momentary satisfaction.
I will never, never give up what I have now, and I will keep getting healthier, and I will keep fitting into an active person's clothes.
And tonight, when I really, really want something that's not on my plan, I will remember that I'm trading for "what's behind the curtain." I can't really grasp how glad I will be later, if I choose well.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Dr. Judith Beck says to evaluate my self-sabotaging thoughts and identify which classic thinking mistakes I am making. Today I will describe only one.
I caught myself in flagrant Thinking Mistake #2, Negative Fortune Telling. I was standing at the kitchen sink and a wave of "overwhelmed" suddenly washed over me (no, it wasn't just soapy water or stagnant milk from a cereal bowl).
"This is requiring so much energy and focus, you probably won't be able to keep this up," the voice of doom intoned. "Once you reach your goal weight, you'll stop seeing all these changes in your clothing size & your measurements & the scale. You're energized by these dramatic rewards. When you have to maintain, you won't be experiencing the same forward leaps of feeling better and looking better. The encouraging comments will dry up. You won't have the impetus to keep it up without that constant reinforcement." Whoosh! I deflated like an unplugged moonwalk.
But Beck says, "What's an alternative way of looking at this?" So after a bit of analysis and prayer, I contradicted the subversive voice of the negative fortune teller.
"Every single day I will still feel so much better than when I was heavy and sluggish and achy," I retorted, bobbing my head for emphasis. "I know I WILL be motivated with energy and strength for the privileges and responsibilities God has given me."
The next thought was so definite, I had to say it out loud: "Of course! The SparkTeams for maintainers will supply the encouragement I need! Those experienced veterans know how to support me!" Now I was feeling the confidence flow back. "I will be experiencing all the advantages of being a healthy weight! The habits I have incrementally built will be my friends. Of course I will keep it up!"
I am grateful that these rational answers came to stabilize me during the assault of self-doubt. I am thankful for the terrific resources that swirl through my head and bit by bit make me sane (okay, saner). I am blessed by the Beck books, all your remarkable Spark blogs and comments and forum posts, and the truth of God's Word, the Bible, that gradually transforms my mind to match the reality of the universe He created and sustains.
What have you found effective to counteract negative fortune telling?
Friday, February 26, 2010
Somewhere I came across a recommendation for the site sixchanges.com 6changes.com/post/284548235/method
I am usually compulsive about saving sources to cite, but I can't trace back how I was referred to it. If this was in your stuff, I would be grateful if you would tell me that in a comment or SparkMail me so I can note that here! Thanks!
As I read through the suggested process (quoted below), I knew I had to do this. It fits right in with the Beck Diet Solution, and I think it is very sensible. Looks like he may be selling a book, and I haven't investigated it or the rest of the site, so I'm not endorsing any of that. But I think the specific process below is sound, and I'm going to do it, by God's grace. I will use these steps to implement Beck Diet Solution's mindful eating, while continuing with the Beck assignments.
The habit I chose is something I'm convinced is necessary for me personally to continue progressing toward healthy food attitudes & actions. My goal is to eat every single meal without a book, computer, or video device. I will use the baby steps as outlined below, but I'm committing to accomplish this during March and April. I will use one of the side boxes on my Spark Page to report on my project, since part of the recommended process is to be as public as possible. Being a literal-minded soul, I cannot say this is as public *as possible,* but it is definitely outside my comfort zone.
The 6 Changes Method (from Leo Babauta)
1. Pick 6 habits for 2010.
2. Pick 1 of the 6 habits to start with.
3. Commit as publicly as possible to creating this new habit in 2 months.
4. Break the habit into 8 baby steps, starting with a ridiculously easy step. Example: if you want to floss, the first step is just to get out a piece of floss at the same time each night.
5. Choose a trigger for your habit - something already in your routine that will immediately precede the habit. Examples: eating breakfast, brushing your teeth, showering, waking up, arriving at the office, leaving the office, getting home in the evening.
6. Do the 1st, really easy baby step for one week, right after the trigger. Post your progress publicly. (Read more.)
7. Each week, move on to a slightly harder step. You'll want to progress faster, but don't. You're building a new habit. Repeat this until you've done 8 weeks.
8. You now have a new habit! Commit to Habit No. 2 and repeat the process.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Yesterday [jogging] I was struggling after the first mile. Turned to my dd and said "Do you know how much I want to be out here??? NOT AT ALL!!"
Her reply? "Yeah, mom. I know. I don't want to be out here either, but I'll never be a marathoner if I don't." And then off she ran.
from HSMOM2FOUR blog 2/10
Frank Lloyd Wright said this, "I know the price of success: dedication, hard work, and an unremitting devotion to the things you want to see happen." from MEPI222 blog 2/14
The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude...I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you...we are in charge of our attitudes. by Charles Swindoll from ANNANN63 blog 2/11
I want to lose weight so it will take less time for me to shave my legs. - from YOOVIE blog 2/21
Gotta love the way breaking things down into doable pieces can help you reach a goal. Before I would have given up, yesterday's walk empowered me. - from Nancy- blog 2/21
What we hope ever to do with ease, we must learn first to do with diligence.
by Samuel Johnson, from IM12LaughMuch SparkPage.
Never underestimate the power of emergency snacks. I keep sunflower seeds and apples at my desk. If you need something warm, try those little packets of miso soup (make sure they aren't too high in sodium). Herbal tea is another good option between your main meals and it provides a pick me up in the afternoon and stops you from wanting the not so good for you stuff. from KALIOPPE, comment on CALLIEGS blog 2/16
. . . When someone offers us food, even special food, they generally are not hurt or offended if we do not eat it. Even if they are a little upset, they tend to forget it quickly. You are important, eating correctly is important to you. You have the right to refuse food that is not on your food plan. You refuse gently and calmly but you refuse. Thank them for thinking of you but remind them how important it is for your health and future to no longer be overweight. Sometimes when our significant other offers food it is because they want to eat it and they feel they should offer some to us. Suggest they eat and enjoy it for both and you will enjoy having them enjoy themselves. ANNANN63 reply on Beck Diet Solution Coaching Corner 2/16
My mum used to say, "Better it goes to waste than to my waist." - from WATERMELLEN comment 2/23 on TRAVELGRRL blog 2/23
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