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Sayonara

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Today I said good-bye to an old friend, the one I would always turn to.

This is the one that has been with me through thick and th----well, through thick.

My "good" blue shirt and I shared so much of life. Old reliable, when I had nowhere else to turn. Appropriate for any occasion, no-iron, three-quarter-length sleeves, tailored hem, medium blue, just long enough, just fitted enough. My largest size, bought long after I'd decided I was not going to buy ANY clothes until I got smaller . . . But a girl's got to look decent. So I bought a shirt that was actually big enough, and it was nearly a uniform for me, a classic that I think was part of my blending-into-the-background approach.

This friend was always there in my time of need. Always discreet. Never revealing my secrets.

Once I thought we would be together forever. But today it is final. We are through.

You see, I'm not the same person I was when I met. I admit, I'm the one who changed. Now it's so obvious we're not right for each other any more.

It took me a while to realize it was time to let go. I had already called it quits with the jeans that a belt could no longer redeem, the baggy sweaters, the wondrously-concealing flowing dresses, the tailored shirts that had to be ironed--but after all, they were BIG ENOUGH. This parting was tougher than those, but now I can see it is time to bid farewell.

Today I took a deep breath and walked away. And I breathed not a hint of "Au revoir" or "Auf Wiedersehen," for I knew in my deepest heart we would NEVER be together again.


SAYONARA

image from Thread-Logic.com

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRAVELGRRL 2/24/2010 10:16PM

    Yeah, I say GOOD RIDDANCE! You will soon have another #1 friend in your life!

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INGRACE 2/24/2010 4:23PM

  Congratulations on releasing the old and embracing the new! We must be on similar thought patterns this week. Thank you so much for your kind comments on my post from yesterday. I'm excited for you. . .will you go get another blue shirt or something completely different this time? Perhaps a bright spring color to welcome in this new season? Enjoy!

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ANNANN63 2/24/2010 1:41PM

    Wonderful post. Congratulations on not needing this friend any longer.

Annie

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SEWINGMEG 2/24/2010 1:38PM

    LOL... thanks... emoticon

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SCOTMAMA 2/24/2010 12:31PM

    Your blue shirt is similar to my nightime nibbling. But in a different way; but we both had to say "goodbye" to them. I'm sure you will be much happier with whatever you have chosen to replace the blue shirt in your life.

I recently found that I cannot grab a pair of pants (all size 12) off my hangers and look sophisticated and svelte in them. They now hang on me, rather baggy in the rear, 2 inches too big around the waist and really not very complimentary! Actually it is a wonderful feeling! And you're getting there! So all I can say is CONGRATULATIONS!

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BIGLITTLEWOMAN 2/24/2010 12:11PM

    Breaking up is hard to do. You need a new shirt in your life. One with
Pizzazz, style and panache.

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LOSINGAMBER 2/24/2010 10:04AM

    I just loved this post. Congrats!

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MAZZYR 2/24/2010 9:52AM

    emoticon

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HIDIANE 2/24/2010 9:40AM

    Awww, too bad, so sad for the clothing anyway...but a real celebration for you! I have lots of clothes in my closet like that, but can't let go yet - I'm working on it!

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SLIMMERJESSE 2/24/2010 9:26AM

    Parting is such sweet sorrow. Congrats on your progress and success. Have a good day.

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Day 25: Identify Sabotaging Thoughts

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

I can "catch myself" in a sabotaging thought so much better when I have the concepts from the Beck Diet Solution response cards fresh in my mind. Also, when I'm consistently applying Beck habits, that too makes unhelpful self-talk easier to identify.

I sometimes have to say out loud to myself, "That is not true!" I'm working on having a realistic perpective on my life.

It's meant giving up some emotionalism and over-dramatization. But overall I like it better to be moving toward acting and thinking like a grown-up.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANCY- 2/24/2010 9:34AM

    It is wonderful what Beck's does for us.
You are so right about keeping it fresh.... when we do it is much easier tobecome aware of what we do.

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ID_VANDAL 2/24/2010 8:01AM

    Emotionalism and over-dramatization are biggies. I used to think I, as a man, was not prone to that but you if you back and read my older blogs you will see that I was. I think it was a play for the "poor me" and to get an out pouring of support.

Support is needed and valued but we do need to see things are they are and go from there. The over-dramatization is something I think we all need to work on.

Great reminders and I do it better when I read my Beck's cards as well.

Take care!

Vandal

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JENBELL37 2/23/2010 11:31PM

    What a great blog! Thanks!

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Quote Digest 4

Monday, February 22, 2010

I am more aware of what I am doing. Being Mindful. I choose my actions. Do you consciously choose what you do every day, or you allow your circumstances to control you? from NANCY- 2/17

While driving home from the airport I wanted to stop for (a) a big mac or (b) a bottle of wine or (c) both.
But I gave myself a big Sparkpeople pep talk: YOU ARE NOT HUNGRY, YOU ARE RESPONDING TO STRESS WITH EMOTIONAL EATING/DRINKING. YOU ARE A GROWNUP. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GIVE IN TO EVERY RANDOM THOUGHT THAT PASSES THROUGH YOUR HEAD.
And I didn't.
from TRAVELGRRL blog 2/20

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. - from Aristotle (Greek critic, philosopher, physicist, & zoologist, 384 BC - 322 BC, from NANCY- blog 2/17

It's a funny thing--the harder I practice, the luckier I get.
- Jerry Barber, PGA Tournament winner for 1961, according to Golf Digest

The idea of taking things in baby steps takes the journey of losing fifty pounds (which can be quite overwhelming) down to its parts: the process of making healthy decisions every day, every hour, every minute. It may seem hard to make a million healthy decisions, but it doesn't seem too hard to make one at a time. - from MOUSEWEILER blog 2/21

Just think, if I am at my goal weight .... I will feel so incredibly happy, confident, beautiful, and sexy. I will feel physically light and free, running around the park effortlessly, or playing tennis with friends without feeling like I just ran a marathon. I will be active, muscular, and very fit, and I will have so much energy to do the things I love to do! Because I will be filling my own well all the way to the top, I will have energy left over to give back to the world in whatever ways I find. - from KOOKERBEE blog 2/20

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SEWINGMEG 2/23/2010 10:06AM

    Those are great... thanks!

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HIDIANE 2/22/2010 9:08PM

    This is excellent! Thank you for compiling some great motivation!
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TRAVELGRRL 2/22/2010 7:12PM

    Excellent! There is wisdom wherever you look! Even from someone who's dumb enough not to recognize her own name when they are calling it over the airport intercom!!!! emoticon

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MAZZYR 2/22/2010 10:28AM

    "Being mindful" says it all. It's become a powerful thought for me.
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ID_VANDAL 2/22/2010 10:23AM

    More great quotes. This journey to good health really is in the mind. As the Beck program says - we make a decision everytime we eat. Just like Mouseweiler (where do they come up with these names?) says - it takes millions of healthy decisions but we just make them one at a time. That's not so overwhelming.

I saw your comment on my blog and I know I'm not off the hook for my anniversary weight. I'll just make a million good decisions one at a time for the next month (and beyond) but right now I'll just focus on the next 5 pounds.

Thanks for all the help.

Vandal

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Quote Digest 3

Sunday, February 21, 2010

A slip (or purposeful jump) now and then isn't such a problem. Just don't let it go too far too long. I think you'd eventually regret it more than the [indulgent treat] can make up for. - from AMYMLE commenting on a blog 2/21

Over indulgence has a price that must be paid. It is a price that I do not want to pay. NANCY- blog 2/16

You did then what you knew what you knew how to do. When you knew better, you did better - Maya Angelou

At our house, when someone needs an attitude adjustment we call it "turning the train around." A big breath, a quiet place and a moment to think clearly usually does wonders . . . for everyone. - INGRACE comment 2/19 on FreeLady blog 2/19

I love the saying that if your friends talked to you the way you talk to yourself, you'd probably punch them in the nose. - from KatieRiversMom's comment 2/13 on TeachinMom blog 2/11

Sometimes, my motivation bottoms out. At times, I think I will never see improvement in my weight. However, I am not giving up. Life is work in progress. I want to enjoy the journey. I am going to be happy with achieving baby steps. I believe they will add up. - HERBOFGRACE blog 2/11

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ID_VANDAL 2/21/2010 1:25PM

    I love these accumulated quotes - sorta the best of the best collection.

I really like the one you quote from "... if your friends talked to you the way you talk to yourself, you'd probably punch them in the nose." - from KatieRiversMom's. All of them are true but that one really rings true for me. We just can totally trash ourselves instead of focusing on the solution and doing it better next time.

Thanks for doing this.

Vandal

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PS I liked your suggestion on my upcoming anniversary. Thanks for that.

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SLIMMERJESSE 2/21/2010 11:32AM

    Thanks for sharing these. Yes, I need to "turn the train around," as indicated by yesterday's blog.

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Getting Somewhere

Saturday, February 20, 2010

I had new experience on our delayed-Valentine date Friday night. I was in the car on the way home from the community theater performance. To my astonishment, I realized I had not been thinking about food for several hours. And at that moment I was not wrestling with the desire to stop for a treat. I cannot tell you how radical this is. But I suspect many of you understand.

For me it used to be that a food indulgence was anticipated for any outing. Recreational food would form a significant part of my expectation, relaxation, and gratification. Regrettably it could also be a strand of tension between my husband and me, since he has a healthy perspective on food and does not live to eat. For me special food, extra food, had always been interwoven in the concept of a festive evening. Though a generous and thoughtful person, he did not share that [distorted] perspective.

I have been in Beck's boot camp for 7 weeks now, toeing the line pretty tightly with the Beck Diet Solution marching orders. I enlisted for this systematic approach because it held the hope of real change, a new way of thinking. I had one of those "Wow, cool!" moments last night. The layers of little steps are getting me somewhere.

I saved calories on Friday for the Thai restaurant dinner and moderate dessert. I got a take-out box with my entree and boxed half of it immediately. [Before I knew about Beck I had made this a no-choice routine. Beck is right: after extended practice, now for this restaurant process there is truly no struggle. Plus, I know from repeated experience that half will be enough and that in 20 minutes I really will feel full.] I enjoyed coffee and dessert. Thus ended my planned food for Friday.

Can you understand what a breakthrough it was for me, that when we stopped at the mega-bookstore I genuinely enjoyed browsing for 40 minutes and did not even go look at the in-store snack bar menu? Also, I stashed no munchies to quietly slip out of my purse or pocket during the play! On the way home I guzzled my water bottle, but I really felt fine without stopping for a post-show treat.

Riding in the car, I was pretty surprised at myself that I was really content. I actually had a long evening of special events WITHOUT being under the tyranny of cravings. I raised my fists at the old regime and cried, "Ah HAH! You don't have me under your thumb any more!"

I'm not going to forget this taste of liberty. Plodding along the prescribed path of small daily healthy choices has begun to shrug off the stranglehold of food desire, food craving, food-centeredness. It'll get hard again. (Probably tomorrow!) But I've had an evening where I controlled my food. Food did not control me Friday night, did not even hold my head hostage. I want to live that way. It is worth the work. I'm going for it.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANCY- 2/21/2010 1:28AM

    emoticon
What a wonderful feeling!
It is great when we acquire the tools we need to make changes.
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BIGLITTLEWOMAN 2/20/2010 10:36PM

    You really are living up to your name. Freelady is what you are becoming. Free from what has controlled your life far too long. You deserve so much credit for many, many things. Thanks for a wonderful blog. Congratulations!

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MAZZYR 2/20/2010 2:06PM

    It's such a relief when the obsession with food is lifted. I'm so happy you're "Getting Somewhere."
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ID_VANDAL 2/20/2010 1:46PM

    Hi FreeLady - Travelgrrl told me I had to be sure and catch this blog and she was right!

What a great feeling that must be and make sure you give yourself credit for getting to this point! I'm so happy for you and you have to know that you are very inspiring to all of your followers with your dedication and well written blogs!!

Keep up the good work!

Vandal

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LOSINGAMBER 2/20/2010 12:35PM

    Great! I'm so happy for you.

I have days where I feel snacky but I realize I didn't eat properly. Its such a wonderful realization when you notice that you don't have to revolve around food so much anymore.

Congrats Hon! emoticon emoticon

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TRAVELGRRL 2/20/2010 11:29AM

    I AM SO PROUD OF YOU! What a LIBERATING EXPERIENCE. Isn't it amazing that you really CAN change your thinking?

I love all your lists and blogs and quotes and appreciate your efforts. Your enthusiasm and success is contagious!

TG

PS -- I know what you mean about food always being part of a "special" event. And I DON'T mean an apple! ;-)

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SEWINGMEG 2/20/2010 11:03AM

    THAT IS GREAT!!! How exciting!! Keep up the great work!!!
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INGRACE 2/20/2010 2:06AM

  Cngratulations.

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