Wednesday, February 17, 2010
"Hunger comes and goes.
Thin people know this,
and they don't worry about
-- Dr. Judith Beck
Last summer I read those statements in a magazine article. It sounded radical to me. But I was intrigued enough to write it in my planner.
Later I made a calligraphy card with the quote and stuck it on the wall in my kitchen. It did not match my own experience, of course, but I was captivated by it nonetheless.
As the days passed I kept reading those sentences and thinking about whether they could be true. First of all, I had long recognized that our adult sons did not worry about hunger (and yes, amazingly-- by the mercy of God-- they are thin). I myself have always been careful to make arrangements for keeping hunger far away . . . and I honestly thought this was normal.
As the months have passed, I have sheepishly realized that Dr. Beck is right. I have watched many people who are simply not concerned about getting hungry. In fact I have been astonished that so many people spend a lot of time not thinking about food at all!
With tiny steps I am inching towards joining them.
I did the skipping-lunch experiment conscientiously for the Beck Diet Solution assignment, and I was astonished that it went okay.
I have continued to practice waiting to eat until scheduled food. It is pretty tough, but it is usually possible.
The clock is my friend. When I'm getting concerned that I'll be too hungry to stick to my plan, I note what time it is and resolve to wait half an hour. So I won't be agitating during that 30 minutes, I start doing something interesting (like reading you guys' blogs--but no recipes!) .
What usually happens is that I get involved in a distraction and I forget to look at the clock. I still feel so surprised when the hunger goes away (usually). By the time I check, it's time to eat (or nearly so---and I can make it).
I definitely still have my weak times. I haven't completely stopped worrying about hunger. But this time next year, I will know. I will know. Hunger comes and goes.
Monday, February 15, 2010
“Discipline is remembering what you want.”
--John Campbell, from Flutterby)L( 2/10
Self-respect is the root of discipline: The sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself.
--Abraham Joshua Heschel, from WarmSpringDay's page
Reminder.....Wanting to eat is not a crisis, just a bad habit. I must train myself to acknowledge what I am really feeling and act appropriately to satisfy the real need. --from Morered blog 2/10
I was so hungry last night that I finally put a halt to the eating by going to bed at 9:00 PM. I was actually able to go to sleep. from Goddess_of_Go blog 2/13
I enjoyed the [Valentine's Day] meal without guilt and am not concerned, because I really didn't have that big a surplus for the day, and I made a plan for what to do at Five Guys Burgers & Fries next time that will cut my calorie consumption in half. --Goddess_of_Go blog 2/14
I am not where I need to be, but thank God I am not where I used to be.
-- Joyce Myers from WARMSPRINGDAY's page
There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.
-- Beverly Sills, operatic coloratura soprano, General Manager of the New York City Opera, Chairman of Lincoln Center from WARMSPRINGDAY's page
I have been doing AWESOME on my changes. I have NOT been seeing the results that I wanted, but I will not give up, and I HAVE been losing, so that is great. --from BestLife79 2/13
what i did right: planned a crab fest for [my birthday] dinner. fresh crab is yummy and low cal and you can't gobble it up fast. ditto for artichokes. the polenta dish i made was cheesy and yummy, but i waited until i had had crab and choke and salad to just have a small serving. --from Wendall125 2/12
Hello, who is this girl? She can't wait to get home and workout! She pre-thinks her schedule for the week to ensure she can fit it in at least 5 days a week. She looks forward to the challenge and the high afterwards! --from GlamourGirl-9
You guys are awesome! These are just a very few of the DOZENS of inspiring and practical words I find among my Spark colleagues every day.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
What has helped me most when I have that feeling of unfairness is to think about FACTS that Beck gave: Most thin people DO restrict their eating.
They may not consider themselves on a diet, and many of them don't talk about it a lot or call attention to it. But they repeatedly choose healthier, lower-calorie options. They also stop eating when I would still be wanting more and more. If a special evening event will be more indulgent, they eat light the first part of the day.
I do have some thin friends. I keep watching them. It is fascinating. Beck is right; they don't eat whatever they want, whenever they want.
Some people eat much more than I can because their activity and exercise level is extremely high. My son has a heavy-lifting job and also plays basketball several hours a day, six days a week. His calorie requirements reflect that lifestyle!
Part B of what has helped my thinking is my deep, soul-solid conviction that ultimately, eternally, the universe is actually fair. God is utterly just. I simply don't know the whole picture in this lifetime; I cannot see what God sees.
The best closing word is from NUSL8T on the forum : "It's not unfair that I need to do the things that nourish me instead of continuing with my old patterns that hurt me."
Friday, February 12, 2010
I was at an annual business meeting for my husband's hiking club. Everyone present was slim and fit except you-know-who. When the agenda was concluded, a buffet was served in the next room.
I thought this occasion was a perfect opportunity to observe the way slim, healthy, active people behave around food. After all, The Beck Diet Solution is teaching ME to think like a thin person!
When the meeting was over it was time for the meal. A few people ambled in to where the food was spread and got something to eat. Most continued animated conversations and began new ones. Gradually everyone trickled in. A few people left without eating (gasp!).
I knew the types of food likely to be offered, and had psyched myself up to choose wisely. I looked over the buffet and mentally practiced my choices before I walked through the line. I took my plate off to find a place to sit (most people stood to eat). I ate slowly. I enjoyed it. Then I went to find my husband.
He and a number of others were standing around the food tables talking (only a couple rooms were in use for this occasion). But no one was shoveling seconds onto a greasy plate. No one was grazing. No one was trying to scrape the last bite from the brownie pan. The abundant food display received not even a glance!
I looked from one to another in fascination. Then I got it. For them the eating was over; the food chapter was closed. They were done with their meals, so the delicacies sprawled around were irrelevant. It was not even on their radar. They had chosen some food; they enjoyed it; then they moved on. In that room, the most tempting thing for thin people was a discussion of one member's multi-week cross-country bike trip this spring!
I aspire to this balance. I will keep practicing the Beck principles, I will keep replacing sabotaging thoughts with helpful thoughts, I will keep building interest in areas of life unrelated to eating.
Next year I will be one of the trim and healthy crowd at the annual meeting!
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