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FRACKTHATNOISE's Recent Blog Entries

Day 370 - Back to Work

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

I mean this blog title in every single sense of the word.

I'm back at work today. Back to the grind. Back to everything...

I'm back to tracking food and exercise minutes, too. So what if my only exercise is in the form of walking. Well, I'm going to walk the crap out of the world until August. I WILL TAKE ALL THE STEPS.

Some of you mentioned that it was a little weird that I didn't seem all that concerned about my eye in the last post and a bit overly concerned with any weight gain. You see, the only thing I feel like I have control over right now is my weight. I can't impact whether my retina heals quickly, or if race directors give me back my money for the races I can no longer do (It adds up to around $250), I can't control if my eye heals correctly, and I certainly can't control the overall outcome. The only thing I can control is what I eat. I can't even control my exercise or my lost fitness.

In short, I feel very, very out of control.

My eye's health is going to be what it's going to be. My recovery is going to take as long as it's going to take. The estimate previously was that I'd be down only until the beginning of July. Now it's looking like it'll be until the end of August. It's all about how well my eye produces the fluid it needs to disparate the air bubble put in to put my retina back in place. Until that happens I cannot run, jump, swim or otherwise play. I can walk and do and exercise bike; but, it's just not what I -want.-

So, in short, that's why I was just so focused on not gaining weight because of this - because I've already lost so much. For example, I'm no longer the lead on the Australia project and I could no longer travel there even if it was requested (due to the bubble.) I've lost out on the opportunity for my first Triathlon and Marathon. I feel like I have no independence because I can't drive (no depth perception.) I can't even lift anything over 20lbs.

So, yes, I'm fixated on weight and food. I know it's not healthy, but it's all I can control.

Alright, back to work. Where I can read for an hour before I have to give my eye a break.

I demand you guys tell me what you're doing to be active so I can live vicariously through you!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BRADMILL2922 6/27/2013 2:12AM

    Hope you have a quick recovery.

I did yoga and some walking today.

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POMATOJUICE 6/26/2013 9:00PM

    Thanks for taking the time to explain! I can totally understand that now! And please understand that I am coming from a place of concern and worry when I tell you: Don't overdo it! I've read a lot of blogs here on spark where people talk about all the weight gain from a medical problem that knocked them on their ass for Xweeks or X months, but don't go too far the other direction and make yourself neurotic and starve! :O

Today, I did my 45 min on the bike and decided I could go just a little longer. So, I added 7 more minutes!

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JAHINTZY 6/26/2013 4:03PM

    TAKE ALL THE STEPS!!!! hehehe I totally get the urge to focus on what you can control when the rest of it is not controlable.

but for vicariousness sake... I got some swimming in on sunday after a great weekend of camping, I'm hoping for another swim tonight and plotting ways to get to the beach again soon for... more swimming lol On the landlubbers side of things I'm looking forward to this saturday - some college friends have taken to organizing an annual "field day" where we get together and pick teams and wear matching colored shirts and compete in three legged races and water balloon tosses and long jumps and tug o war among other school field day type activities. It should be great fun.

I really hope your eye does what it needs to do so you can get back to normal life!

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    I hope your eye heals well and quickly, and in the mean time I hope you are encouraged with how far you've already come and what you still can do (e.g. walking).

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IACTA_ALEA_EST 6/26/2013 12:42PM

    Best wishes for speedy recovery!

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1EMMA2011 6/26/2013 12:38PM

    I think you are doing great. I think you have a plan and are working your plan. Setbacks in life require adaptability. I think you have adapted and are a strong woman. This too shall pass - it's frustrating and just part of life. Good for you! I feel proud of how you are handling your situation. I live in a very hot climate. I'm focusing on getting to the gym and lifting weights for the summer. In the fall my plan is to kick it!

emoticon emoticon

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OLIVIANIGHT 6/26/2013 11:17AM

    Well, this morning I did my bodyweight ladder circuit: squats, push offs, crunches, sky divers and burpees - 20 reps of each, then 15, then 10, then 5. You're supposed to go back up the ladder again and do 5-10-15-20 but....that's a long way in the future right now.
Enough vicarious exercise for you? Man I hope your eye sorts itself out soon.

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Day 365: One year and a ridiculous hurdle

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Well, I had wanted to write a victory blog for my one year blog. However. things haven't been so good here in my world.

Last Thursday I had to go to the hospital - I had to go in about three weeks ago for PVD, partial vitreous detachment. What it is is when the gel in your eye on top of your retina detaches. Not a big deal and nothing you can really do about t. the problem is, that it can be a precursor to retinal detachment.

And, last thursday my retina did detach.

Surgery was on Saturday.

Well, here I am. In bed for the fifth consecutive day. The first four days I spent in bed only allowed to look down. No I can lay with my head at an angle; but I'm still not allowed to do anything more difficult than a "strenuous poop."

Yes, that is my work threshold.

Humorous, but ridiculous.

So, I had to cancel my hike this saturday - I got half my deposit back. Now I'm just hoping to be able to get back to training a couple of weeks before the Triathlon. Then it's full speed ahead for Steamtown training.

I'm just praying that I'm able to start running again soon.

So far I haven't gained a crazy amount of weight. I just have to pay attention to what I'm eating. Really, what I eat is about all I can control.

So, fingers crossed, sparklers!

(Please forgive any typos - I typed most of this with my eyes closed. Yeah, I'm not supposed to be reading, either...)

Now, get out there and do something active for me!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SIMONEKP 6/22/2013 1:05PM

    get well soon

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BEANIES_MOM 6/21/2013 3:56AM

    I hope you get better soon, take care of yourself and I am sure you will be back to running soon. emoticon

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POMATOJUICE 6/20/2013 10:17PM

    My god, that is crazy!! What even causes that, I wonder? Surely not the strenuous poop. D: I'm slightly horrified that something like that can spring ip so quickly. I am thankful that you received prompt medical treat,ent, though, and I wish you a speedy recovery! Somehow, you seem more worried about your weight than any permanent vision damage, so you are either a little nutter butters, or it isn't that serious! Get we'll soon, and don't read this until you are allowed to. :P. in fact, if you are reading this now and you aren't supposed to look at monitors yet, shame on you! Go find someone to read the Internet to you!

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OLIVIANIGHT 6/20/2013 3:07PM

    Aw I'm sorry. Hope you're all better and back up to speed soon!

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GRACEOMALLEY 6/20/2013 2:54PM

    You don't need to be reading - BUT
KNOW my heart and thoughts are with you for a full and speedy recovery
It is HARD to kick back and HARDER to accept restrictions - but the most IMPORTANT thing is that you do whatever is necessary to get yourself totally healed up. All the rest, weight loss included - CAN WAIT. Your health and wellness are PARAMOUNT! Be good to yourself and know we support you 110%.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JAHINTZY 6/20/2013 2:25PM

    you shouldn't even be reading this :-p but I'm sending some super good juju your way, that's crazy and not fun at all - I really really hope all the best for your powers of sight. the training will happen, but sight.... damn, I can't imagine.

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ONTHEPATH2 6/20/2013 11:45AM

    Oh sweetie!!! I hope you feel better soon!!! I am getting out there to walk at noon and will add a few steps for you! Restrictions are sooooo hard to deal with because they are just that - restrictions. Ugh! Hopefully they will be lifted soon and you will be back on your feet doing what you love. Take care!


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Day 359: Just Keep Swimming

Thursday, June 13, 2013

I'm not going to lie, any effort put toward weight loss this week has been purely nutritional.

In short, I feel like a slug. I bailed on my workout buddy on three separate days (Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday) due to this crazy new project I'm working on. I'm getting in to work at 8AM and not leaving until 6. I'm really working hard - and all this mental effort is definitely coming out as physical depletion.

So, the plan today is to bail over lunch and go for a run. Just a 5K - just a quick romp around the city and back. I have my iPod charding now, my Garmin, and I'm ready just to get my legs moving.

This morning I saw a new low on the scale - 182.2 which was a surprise. It shouldn't have been - since I weighed in on the study's scale at 185 (they always have me at 3lbs heavier than my home scale..) and that would put me in at 182. Still, it was a pleasant surprise.

That's about all the news from here - thanks for all the love and support on yesterday's celebration! Onward and upward, Sparklers!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SIMONEKP 6/14/2013 12:15PM


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COOP9002 6/13/2013 12:08PM

    Excellent progress!

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REFFIE1 6/13/2013 11:20AM

    Great work. I am very consistent with exercise and I have definitely come to the conclusion that the key ingredient is nutrition. You seem to be on top of that and it is the hardest part of the puzzle. emoticon

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ADARKARA 6/13/2013 11:17AM

    Yay for new lows! emoticon

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Day 358 - One year Assessment (WITH PHOTOS)

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

I know it's a week early; but, today I got my one year assessment results from the weight loss study.

I haven't talked about it a lot lately so some of you may have no idea what I'm talking about. A year ago I joined a two year study following the impacts and results of technology on young adults abilities to achieve and maintain weight loss. I started the study at 220lbs after managing to lose ten pounds on my own in the six months prior. On the day of my assessment I weighed in a 217lbs.

Why are these numbers important?

Because I am so proud of how far I've come.

The inside of MEEE!!!!!

So, I know, these aren't the photos you were expecting.

That's what the inside of me looks like at 217lbs vs 195 vs 185lbs.

I know, it's not that discernable. Let me give you some numbers that will mean something.

Size 18/20, Size 16/18, and size 12/14.

I've lost 33lbs - and 30lbs of that was fat, 3lbs were muscle. I have gone from my tissue being 48% fat to 40%. I'm making progress. Good Progress.

I'm feeling so very, very inspired.

Of course, there's no telling what these numbers are from my highest - but, these numbers n their face are amazing.

I just had to toot my own horn today, sparklers.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OLIVIANIGHT 6/13/2013 11:41AM

    Oh well done! I can totally see the difference (how strange to see differences from the inside!) and you must be so proud of yourself : D

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RUBYREDIVY1 6/13/2013 5:42AM

    WOW, well done!

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REFFIE1 6/12/2013 6:43PM

    Fantastic progress! We are proud of your accomplishments! emoticon emoticon

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EATVEGAN 6/12/2013 6:24PM

    Congratulations! You've come a long way. Am I the only one who doesn't see any pictures? emoticon

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MISSB8604 6/12/2013 5:05PM

    Nicely done!

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BRADMILL2922 6/12/2013 4:49PM

    Congrats on your success!

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DIZZYCOCOA 6/12/2013 4:32PM


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JAHINTZY 6/12/2013 3:50PM

    That is awesome! I can definitely see the differences in the scans, look at the alignment of your joints! your arms and ankles in particular look more "textbook" in a way in the recent scan. That's really cool stuff :)

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GRACEOMALLEY 6/12/2013 2:19PM

    TOOT AWAY! You have done a super job and continue in that direction. You deserve toots and applause and praise. You've done a great job and keep many of us on purpose when we are reminded of how far you and others have come. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PRINCHESSA 6/12/2013 2:01PM

    I can totally see a difference too - amazing! Wahoo!!!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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POMATOJUICE 6/12/2013 1:36PM

    Aare you kidding?? I can totally see a difference! I think it's awesome that you were able to have access to such cool toys with this study. Is that a dexa scan? I've been keenly interested in getting one myself, but I just ish I had a starting scan, too. Ah crap! My lunch is here. I'll spam you more later

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SIMONEKP 6/12/2013 1:32PM


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ADARKARA 6/12/2013 12:46PM

    emoticon That is AWESOME that so much of your weight loss was fat!

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Day 357: Rules for Packing Lunch

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

That, my friends is what breakfast and lunch looks like on a regular work day.

You see, I don't cook. Ever. Anything. So, getting things that are pre-packaged is important to me.

So, what are my rules?

1. Represent all basic food groups. Protein, Carbs, Fats, Sugars. Well, I should say, sweets. I have a wicked sweet tooth and the only way to keep it at bay is to have something sweet in my grasp or I will make a run for the vending machine.

2. Portion control. Just because a can of Chunky Soup is easy to tote - well, I'll HAVE to eat the whole can. And that can be 300 calories.

3. Plan snacks. Notice how everything is separable? Well, that's intentional. I eat something pretty much every two hours.

4. Beware of high-calorie options. I try to spread out my calories since I'm eating so often during the day

5. Aim for at least one fruit or vegetable a day. Mostly because they take longer to eat and are more filling

Well, them's my rules. When you guys pack (if you pack) do you have anything that you try to accomplish each day?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SIMONEKP 6/12/2013 1:37PM

    I cook almost everything. My workday lunch bag looks like this: Muscle Milk Protein shake, greek yogurt, strawberries, clementine (or some other fruit), 3oz grilled chicken, salad (lettuce, dried cranberries, shredded carrots, grape tomatoes, feta cheese).

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DIZZYCOCOA 6/11/2013 9:40PM

    I'm glad I saw this today! My company moved and I need to be better about packing food for the day. I am pretty good at throwing a larabar and a piece of fruit in my bag but more often than not, i'm stumped on what to pack for lunch so I end up with a box of jello, just to get by.
Today I packed a salad for lunch and it was sorta pathetic. Spinach, a can of tuna and an ounce of parmesan cheese with a splash of balsamic vinegar. I guess I hit the food groups but it was not yummy...
I'm going to take a lesson from you and make my rules and stick to them. Thanks!

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REFFIE1 6/11/2013 3:31PM

    Your food looks pretty healthy for prepackaged stuff. I would be a bit leery of relying of packaged foods. A lot of them have hidden calories and lots of chemical things added to preserve them for long periods of time. I think you might like cooking after a while, it can be quite therapeutic and creative. emoticon

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JAHINTZY 6/11/2013 12:23PM

    Your lunch looks somewhat similar to mine :-p I'm amazed that you don't cook or package food... I thrive off of putting my food together, it's part of what makes it all satisfying to me. just goes to show to each their own :)

I tend to have breakfast, a snack and lunch at work - I usually aim to have some sort of carb with protein for breakfast, fruit and protein (usually dairy - yogurt or cottage cheese) for snack, and sandwich and fruit for lunch. I prefer to eat often in the morning and then I'm usually fine for a long stretch until dinner. I'm also a sandwich lunch person, it's a bit more heavy calories than some other options, but I balance it out with the rest of my choices. I focus on veggies at dinner (bonus - it helps make sure my fiance gets his veggies too, because he eats what I cook)

so today, I had a bag of kix cereal, a little 4 oz tupperware of milk (portable cereal ooo yeah - we have a kitchenette at work with dishes for all), a banana and a hard boiled egg at breakfast. I'm saving my snack for later (yogurt, half plain half vanilla) since I didn't end up eating it, breakfast was late today due to work schedules, roast beef and cheese on rye sammich and apple sauce (no sugar added) for lunch. Some times I throw in two hard candies like root beer barrels or caramel creams for the sweet tooth. It works for me :) more dishes with the containers, but it suits my budget.

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POMATOJUICE 6/11/2013 11:22AM

    Don't cook? Ever? My mind is blown! Anything I would have commented before I read that statement was thrown out the window because I am so shocked! :O

Not a big fan of cooking, or just never learned?

I think the food pictured looks great for away from home, but now I wonder what you eat when you are at home! I am mystified! It's not that I think you are eating poorly or whatever. I just can't imagine life never cooking XD

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KAT321123 6/11/2013 11:02AM

    Your lunch looks great! I love that you recognize that you need to give yourself a sweet treat in order to maintain your lifestyle.

I'm also a frequent eater typically, and eat breakfast and lunch at my office. I don't have a "rule" per se, but my typical meals look like:
~Either a fruit smoothie for breakfast OR I'll bring some non-dairy milk to work and keep a box of whole-grain cereal in my desk
~Lunch - I do cook, so lunch is often leftovers OR I'll make a whole-grain and veggie salad over the weekend and bring some each day
~Snacks - I bring one non-produce snack (I subscribe to Graze Box so that's usually my one treat snack) and otherwise bring 3 or 4 types of fruit/veggies. Today it's a doughnut peach, an apple, and baby carrots.
That usually gives me 5 or 6 servings of produce before I get home and ends up between 700 and 900 calories (about half for the day). Once I get home I'm a bit less structured so I try to leave room for a good amount of calories.

*Disclaimer: I'm a bit of track this week, so that doesn't represent me today necessarily =)

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GLUECIPHER 6/11/2013 10:31AM

    good job. I take the same but I'm thrifty - and buy in big packages...portion it out myself.

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DAVIS_6311 6/11/2013 9:48AM

    I try to make all my "snacks" a fruit or veggies. I also try to make sure I have lower calorie options because I am in such a rut of eating a big dinner. Thanks for posting your rules! Portion control is a MUST for me as well!

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