Saturday, May 12, 2012
Who would have thought I regularly eat well below my caloric goal and yet I weigh somewhere around 22~ pounds? How does this make any sense?
I'm willing to bet my average is between 1300 and 1500 calories a day... I don't get it.
Well, it looks like I'm back on walnuts and peanut butter....
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Today I woke up with the same cloud over my head. Now, at the close of the day, I can breathe a little easier - I've stayed on the wagon. I've tracked all my food. I've kept active. I've done my best to be positive.
I'm actually doing this.
I'm about two weeks out of my fitness assessment for the weight loss study with the university. It sounds like something that could work. I really hope it does. I think I'm setting myself up for a success by doing a lot of the things they want me to do for it now. For example, I'll have to track my food and exercise. The only thing I can't do right now is wear the fitness arm band - but that's only because I'm a comfortable combination of cheap and poor.
Well, not poor, the house just eats all my money.
So, all and all, I feel like things are looking up and whatever ate me up earlier this week has past.
Good: Jack and I went for a fantastic jog this morning. It was all of 15 minutes, but it was good!
Bad: I think I need to buy new walking shoes to keep at my desk at work - taking my lunchtime walks in my dress shoes is not the best idea.
Ugly: Nothing ugly today. Well, except that Jack decided to run away. Fortunately he was returned home safely.
Wednesday, May 09, 2012
Today was a moderately better day than yesterday. I didn't feel quite as down as I did then, thank goodness. Sometimes I can be hard on myself, I know.
So, today I managed to get my walk in - upon review and actually mapping it, it turns out that I'm doing about a mile and a quarter in 20 minutes. This, of course, is subject to getting stuck at traffic lights and stuff. Still, it maybe topped off today at 60-something, and not too sunny, either! Here's hoping spring turns up sooner or later.
I just hope I get into the weight loss study, I'm clearly not very good at keeping myself accountable.
Good - Had a walk in spite of the cold
Bad - I could not keep away from the candy jar today
Ugly - The fact it's so darn cold after 80+ degrees last week!
Tuesday, May 08, 2012
So, I've been dutifully ignoring this place, it's message and the goals I set a year ago ever since my 'goal' date passed and I found myself a failure. Again.
This, of course, isn't news to anyone. Everyone on this page has probably failed multiple times just like me. That crushing, sinking feeling of what your brain tells you is a fulfilled prophecy - once again, my choices are wrong and I am doomed to be fat forever.
Well, I'm not going to listen to my brain - I don't listen to anybody else.
So, I'm back on the Spark again. I've been keeping up for about a week. I had a 'bad' day on Sunday filled with family party snacks and fried chicken (I don't need to put it on my tracker to know I probably ate about 3000 empty calories that day); but I'm back on the horse. Again. Sunday wasn't a failure, after all I spent the whole day climing stairs as I showed off my parent's new home.
I think what it boils down to for me is that I need somebody to actually care. Someone just needs to take a vague, general interest in the fact that I'm trying. Just one person to say "Hey, I see you're not doing your usual muffin/bagel breakfast and eating a fruit cup - what's up?" I don't know when I didn't become enough - but I'm sitting here realizing that I'm not enough. It's not enough just to do this for me.
Those are profound words. I mean, people say all the time "I want to lose weight because I want to feel better. I want to be healthy. I want to be more active." People do things because they'll get good things from it - and I'm just having a hard time figuring out what my good things will be.
Well, now that I've been Debbie-Downer for the day, it's time to do my good-bad-ugly for the day.
Good - Well, I didn't snooze this morning
Bad - It's raining, I need to figure out how to get my lunch walk in without coming back to work and looking like I tried to drown myself in the river.
Ugly - Feeling low.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Every day it seems like I have the same report - my little pie chart looks out of whack and my bar graph complains. Nope, not enough protein. Again.
It's frustrating. I don't like beef, generally. Chicken I eat on occasion, and fish is generally my preferred mode of lean, meat. I have no idea how to get more protein into my diet outside of protein shakes, and is that really the best way to get what my body needs?
Don't mention tofu or soy. Ew.
Too bad there isn't a miracle veggie or fruit.
Could someone hurry up and engineer the proto-fruit... loaded with protein and vitamins? I'll buy a boatload!
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