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FRACKTHATNOISE's Recent Blog Entries

Day 172: Galloway Training and Spic and Span

Saturday, December 08, 2012

I should also mention I moved chairs up and down steps for a half an hour.... That's cardio, right?

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OLIVIANIGHT 12/9/2012 5:47AM

    Sometimes you just need a McDonalds, it happens!

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    I thought YOU cracked me up but, Jack moseying in and having a seat at your feet completely unaware of you pouring out your heart is even funnier. He's a hoot! Running with celebs, BK, Mickey D's, and steak dinner with the fam in a nice clean house sounds like the weekend of a POWERBALL winner. Anything else you care to share? hhhmmmmm.......

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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    LOL @ SKEETOR!!!! I was wondering how I got these little teeth marks on my legs.

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SKEETOR 12/8/2012 6:59PM

    Beware of the dust bunnies, sometimes they bite! emoticon
Have fun with your parents! emoticon

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Day 170 - 191.8 and Icecapades at Work

Thursday, December 06, 2012

Quick blog today because I'm UBER busy!

I knew today was going to be a 'loss' day because I weighed in last night at 193 and I generally weigh about three pounds less in the morning (after I pee and strip naked...) So, I'm really glad to see the scale cooperating even if it's in this small way.

Yesterday I went shopping for a personal trainer. It's looking like it'll be around $150/month for Three 30 minute workouts a week. I do know one thing: My trainer will not be the guy who gave me my fitness assessment last night. 1) He kept looking at my boobs. 2) He had a nervous laugh that made ME nervous. So, one trainer down, six more to choose from.

Also my dad, bless his heart, sent two dozen cookies to me at work yesterday. He saw on TV that a local restaurant (Eat n' Park) was making and delivering cookies with one of my favorite Christmas traditions on it - and decided I HAD to have some. If you look up on YouTube Eat 'n Park Christmas comercial and watch it, I promise you won't be disappointed. For those who refuse to, well it's adorable. It's just an animated star trying it's little heart out to get up on the Christmas tree. When all hope is lost and the poor little star feels most defeated the tree leans over and picks the star up, lighting everything up with holiday mirth. LOVE it. I don't know, it litterally brings up this odd emotion that makes me sniffle. Seriously.

In any event, they made cookies with the trees on them and my dad sent me some. I gave away 20 of the buggers, ate two (They were delicious!) and saved a couple to send home to him and mom. It was thoughtful and sweet but such a bit of potential sabotage!

Today I decided to wear my short 'icecapades' dress (AKA the one I blogged about being too short) to work today with some leggings. I'm digging my choice and I've got some compliments which is always appreciated.

Tonight is the holiday party for the running club I'm in. I'm already trying to pump myself up about it. I get so nervous about stuff like this. I just have to go and find some nice people to chat with. I will find a nitche. I will find a place I'm comfortable. They can't all hate me / think I'm odd / question why I'm there at all....

So, that's about it from here. Here's hoping the scale keeps going south this week! I'm working REALLY hard at it!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SKEETOR 12/7/2012 8:22AM

    I'm reading this I hope you had fun at your party! You look great!

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POMATOJUICE 12/6/2012 9:17PM

    I pee and strip naked in the mornings too! There must be a whole lotta empty-bladder sexiness happening on the scales all over spark in the mornings!

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DEBBY4576 12/6/2012 4:18PM

    You must be REALLY tall to weigh that much and look like you do. I'd say 160 maybe, but not in the 190s. That being said, you are almost out of the 190s. Woo hoo. Also the commercial about the cookie sounds adorable. And I thought you did really well on your self control. That PT woulda given me the creeps too. Cept I don't have any boobs for him to look at haha.

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CATTUTT 12/6/2012 11:32AM

    Your dress is adorable! I know it's easier said than done, but try to relax about the party, and enjoy it while you're there. I'm sure it's going to be way more awesome than you're expecting!


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GOODGETNBETR 12/6/2012 11:25AM

    Cute dress and cookies. You may want to check out FitOrbit for a lower cost online personal trainer.

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KJELLYBEAN15 12/6/2012 11:06AM

    I'm sure you are going to have a very good time tonight at the party. Just so you know, you probably wont be the only one there feeling the way you do. And those that do might just be waiting for someone, like you, to make the first step in helping them feel more welcomed.

Put yourself out there. Warm someone's spirit. Be the tree that lifts the star to spread the light for all to see.

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REFFIE1 12/6/2012 11:01AM

    You look lovely in your dress, so go forth and party! I prefer a woman trainer but that is just me. I also find my woman trainer understands a lot of issues particular to women but maybe it is just that she is a very good trainer. You have an excellent price for your sessions. I am sure you will find that they fine tune what you do making exercises more precise and effective. Have fun at the party! emoticon

Comment edited on: 12/6/2012 11:02:42 AM

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Day 169 - NSV time!

Wednesday, December 05, 2012

Good morning!

So, today I invite you to enjoy and share your Non-Scale-Victories. Because, let's face it, this time of year we all need as much push and motivation to keep with our routines and plans as possible!

It's amazing how something so simple as cold weather or darkness or parties can make us all so prone to taking the easy road away from our goals!

This was my first week without a weigh in at the study. From my own records I know I'm down about half a pound from last week. I also know that my body is going to catch up eventually to the 300+ minutes that I put in last week. I'm already up to 60 for this week! WOO!

Now, on to my NSV. I've mentioned my dog, Jack lots of times. I love him, he's generally awesome. Well, he's also a neurotic jerk; but, he's also a sweetheart, too. Jack and I moved into a new house back in April and I found when we moved he had a very difficult time keeping with his training to walk more gently on a leash. In fact, on several occaisions, he's tried to rip my arm out of it's socket. Because of that, he's been spending most of his outside time on a run - letting him burn off his energy on grass and in the sushine. It's okay, but not best for his very active breed.

Last night I was really late getting home from work. I stuck around until like 6 to queue up some tasks for this morning. By the time I got home it was already 7. (Thankfully, my brother had let Jack out around 1PM!) Trying to get more steps in my life I took the long way home. Then I had an idea - I could take Jack for a nice walk. We'd do the 4-mile loop I like to run on weekends and since it was dark it'd be unlikely we'd run into any of his arch enemies (bikers and joggers.)

The first two miles were a little painful. Lots of pulling and stopping. Pulling and stopping. I know he was just excited to walk; so, I just gently tried to work on training him again.

We hit the half-way point and the skies open up. It'd been lightly drizzling to that point which was no big deal; but, then it started to come down in sheets.

Well, I bit the bullet.

Jack and I ran.

And it was the most pleasurable experience I've ever had with my dog. He stayed right at my side. He didn't pull except for when he got overly excited. He even looked up to see what I was up to and to make sure I was there. It was incredible.

Unless you've ever walked with a dog that's so disconnected from you that it appears he's more interested in a bush than in what you're doing you probably don't understand how amazing it feels -- but, trust me, it was amazing.

More amazing was that once upon a time I couldn't run like that at all. I couldn't do it for two miles. I certainly couldn't pick up the pace to keep up with Jack when he decided he wanted to get home more quickly. (And believe me, he wanted to get home, he kept trying to follow paths up to other people's doors as we passed!)

It was just an incredible moment and I'm not only proud of myself for being able to keep up; but, I'm proud of my dog because it was really a touching moment.

Alright, now that I'm done being a geeky dog lover it's time to get back to work. I hope you all have some NSV's to celebrate today, too. I'm planning on a trip to the gym for 20 minutes of cardio and some time with the weights!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DETERMINED_ME 12/5/2012 8:27PM

    That is what I hope to be able to say someday with my dog.

My NSV today is that I managed to do 25 minutes on the elliptical with 2.25 miles (a personal best)

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OLIVIANIGHT 12/5/2012 2:53PM

    Aw that's so cute. My NSV today is that I have not eaten one single shortbread biscuit since coming home from work, even though I can hear them all the way from my room : p The thing is, somehow I just know I'm not going to have one. If only that happened every time...

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    Well Jumping Jack Flash!!!! That's sooooo cool. Give him an extra scratch behind the ear for me!


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REFFIE1 12/5/2012 11:31AM

    You and Jack are now a dynamic duo! I bet he enjoyed it as well! Hope you have lots more fun jogs together. emoticon

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SKEETOR 12/5/2012 11:14AM

    Awww....Jack's a honey! You probably made his day, too!

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5WHITEROSES 12/5/2012 11:09AM

    That's awesome!!!

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HEALTHY-SPARK 12/5/2012 10:52AM

    That's great -- sounds like a real dog-bonding experience. emoticon

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CATTUTT 12/5/2012 9:38AM

    Awww what a sweet story! You have totally made my morning so much better. Give Jack a scratch on the head for me.


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Day 168 - Preventative Eating

Tuesday, December 04, 2012

Afternoon, Sparklers!

So, I wanted to do a short, but sweet note on a topic that is driving me insane: Preventative eating.

If you're anything like me you feel compelled to plan what you're going to eat for the day, especially if you pack your lunch and are being conscious about your caloric intake. I've been thinking for a few days now: My planning has been hardcore skewed.

There are a couple of competing lessons a lot of us with weight issues need to learn: The first is to set ourselves up to make healthy choices. Many of us start this by considering what foods best fit within our goals and working at limiting those that don't. Some of us even exclude foods or replace things entirely. We'll call this the set-up. The second thing we learn is that we need to eat when we're actually hungry. Instead of eating at noon because it's noon. Let's call this being conscious. The third thing some of us have to deal with is eating ahead of time so as to avoid being hungry. We'll call this stockpiling, or preventative eating.

So, for example, I know each day I want to pack about 300 - 400 calories in snacks and plan for around 400 - 500 calories for lunch. So, I've done well, I've planned and I've set myself up. Then I start waiting to be hungry to actually eat.. but I don't want to wait too long because if I wait until I'm ravenous I'm afraid what I've packed won't sate me and I'll make the walk of shame to the vending machine downstairs.

I guess the problem is, at some point in my life I learned that 1) being hungry is bad and that 2) being hungry is a scary thing. I mean, I find myself not waiting until I'm hungry because I don't want to be hungry later.

What a weird way of thinking, huh?

What's so bad about being hungry? Or having a churning tummy to let you know the tank could use filling? What has trained me to want to avoid that feeling?

One thing I've learned along this journey is that I have more self control than I want to believe. I can limit what goes into my mouth and I can be conscious of what I'm eating. So, I've started packing less snacks.

It used to be kind of ridiculous. I'd have a Special K bar for in the morning (100 calorie), String cheese for mid-morning (100 calories), an apple for after lunch (100 calories), and a 100 calorie pack for after that. That's 400 empty 'preventative' calories. Boredom calories.

Calories that when I'm busy I usually don't even eat.

So, I've limited myself this week. I've gone for ONE morning snack (today it's a pear) and ONE afternoon snack (the 3PM 100 calorie pack.) So far I haven't starved to death. I also haven't wanted to die.

So far, so good!

I'll keep you guys appraised!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

POMATOJUICE 12/4/2012 6:36PM

    "I guess the problem is, at some point in my life I learned that 1) being hungry is bad and that 2) being hungry is a scary thing. I mean, I find myself not waiting until I'm hungry because I don't want to be hungry later. "

I believe this is the sole reason I gained as much weight as I did in college. There really were a ton of different factors that would have caused me to gain, but this here is the primary one! Why is the thought of being hungry so scary when we live in a country where most people aren't really all that hungry??

When I was in college, I did work-study for book money. They put me in the cafeteria, and we were not allowed to take a meal break when we were hungry. We were forced to take it before the cafeteria opened/ at the beginning of our shift. We were told that if we wanted dinner, we had to eat before the shift started. We weren't really allowed to box things up at the end of the shift, because everyone wanted to get home, so we had to close as fast as possible.

So.. 1) I was eating when I wasn't hungry. 2) I was put in a position where I had to eat to keep myself from getting hungry 3) I had no concept of calories or what would be an acceptable ammount to eat.

I swear I put on like 50 lbs my freshman year! lol (I have 55 lbs to lose to get back to my college weight. I find it really impossible to believe that I actually gained 50 lbs now. I had no access to a scale! It is a mystery as to how much I actually put on that first year...)

Even those crazy ladies working for the cafeteria's parent company started calling my butt big by the end of the year :O And really.. I blame it on a lack of knowledge, and being forced to eat when I wasn't hungry out of fear of no dinner at all. I didn't have a car! I only had a work study job and a discounted meal plan!

I swear I'm still in no-comment mode, but this blog really resonated with me!

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OLIVIANIGHT 12/4/2012 3:55PM

    I do that too! And I never even realised how crazy it sounds until the second I read it.
An excellent point, I shall sort my snacks out immediately.

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LOLATURTLE 12/4/2012 3:13PM

    I love seeing the thought people put into these behaviors we have, and coming up with names and definitions for them. It fascinates me! I read this and go "oh yeah, I do that!" but I never thought to name/define it!

That's something I've learned during SP also! It's okay to be hungry when it's time for the next meal - if you weren't hungry, you wouldn't need the meal anyway!

When I realized this I actually cut out my morning snack. I usually don't need it. I still bring snacks with me, but that's because my hunger level fluctuates depending on my morning workout and how busy my day is. Sometimes I'm STARVING at 3pm, sometimes I don't realize I'm hungry until I get home at 5:30pm.

Mainly I use preventative eating before I go somewhere where there will be empty calorie, high calorie, high fat foods, like a party. I'll have ~200 calories of something low fat high protein, so I won't be starving and eat a big pile of carbs and fat at the party.

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REFFIE1 12/4/2012 12:59PM

    Good idea to set a limit on snacks. I have done the exact thing at night because although I was having snacks in my calorie range I was having way too many of them which sets up overeating.

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MUNCHNIT 12/4/2012 12:50PM


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ADARKARA 12/4/2012 12:47PM

    I know what you mean! I always bring plenty of snacks but I've done well lately at not eating ALL of them. =)

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Day 167 - What do you when boredom strikes?

Monday, December 03, 2012

Hola Sparklers!

Welcome to Monday following an upside down weekend for me.

On Saturday was my family 'girls' Christmas party. It's pretty much an excuse to get together... No gifts, just lots of food. And believe me, I overindulged. I think I realistically probably ate around 2000 calories - even though I tracked in at 1700. I showed some restraint, especially in terms of portions; but, I definitely couldn't keep my fingers away from the cookie tray. My mom was also the host and she was kind enough to get the grilled chicken in addition to to the fried kind which was uber thoughtful.

Sunday I decided to do some work on my yard. It's a completely unseasonable 60 degrees here, so I thought I would take advantage. Confession time: I've been your slacker neighbor with a ton of dead crap in my front and side yards since like.. October. I live in the city, so as long as my crap wasn't terrible.. well, nobody could say anything. (I'm sure if I lived in a housing plan or somewhere with an HOA or CCR's, well I'd be screwed...) Well, yesterday I went out and cleaned everything up. Three trash bags of dead weeds later and I have a completely clear front and side yard ready for planting next spring. It must drive my neighbors insane because I love to garden (I did window boxes on my front porch last year); but, I hate to weed.

The weeding, however, really was a workout. I know I can't count the minutes toward my cardio minutes for the study, but two hours of pulling weeds (and a half hour of that on a steep incline) and today I'm feeling sore in whatever muscle is just below my butt. I love it when I'm sore :)

In other news, my FitBit continues to be my saboteur. No, seriously. I'm beginning to think I might NOT want to get the BioMedia armband part of the study. I don't like that it calls me 'active' when I'm just lightly walking. I definitely don't like that it feels like it artificially inflates my SP minutes.

Yet, here I am, still wearing it. Still letting it influence me. Why? Because I'm redefined my goals with relationship to the fitbit. I'm looking at only my 'very active' minutes. Those minutes capture when I'm running or walking briskly. Those are the only ones that will be reported as part of my 300 minute cardio goal. I am, however, thinking of getting one for my mom for christmas. She'd likely adjust the settings to less than the 10000 steps; but, it'd give her motivation to keep moving!

Lately working out has been like pulling teeth. It's terrible. I get so fixated on the clock and I feel like I'm grinding away. I have no idea where my little fire under my ass has gone; but, I'm totally not rocking it right now. I don't want to run. I don't want to bike. I don't want to eliptical. I don't want to do anything. I committed this weekend that I'd 1) go for a run and 2) go to the gym and neither happened. (And I only enabled myself by looking at my fitbit active minutes... grrr...)

Anybody else been here? I have 30 pounds to go! I have a half marathon in May! I have so much left to work for and yet like a college student with too much time before the test I feel like procrastinating. God, I'm procrastinating... Grrr..

I'm thinking of signing up for a month with a personal trainer at the Y. It's expensive, make no mistake of it; but, I think it might help. I also need to get over my phobia of group running because I think getting out with the YES! group and SCRRC would be great. I'm just so flipping scared. At this point those who read my blog are aware of my whole social anxiety thing; but, when having a social element is exactly what I need to keep going... well... Ugh.

Now that I've babbled on forever I'm going to wish you guys a happy Monday! Another chapter in my love/hate relationship with the fitbit to come!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRACEOMALLEY 12/5/2012 5:56PM

    I forgot to throw out that you might consider whether your decreased motivation might be tied in to SAD (seasonal affective disorder). If you have some level of decreased libido during the shorter days and longer nights this time of year (I definitely do) you might try working with some lights and trying to get outside during daylight more often, if possible. Not necessarily an answer, but definitely a possibility.

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GRACEOMALLEY 12/4/2012 3:45PM

    Love reading about your "adventures."
However, I have to disagree with you on the FitBit, in a way. I find it a very useful tool - but it is only a TOOL. I like the ability to track steps and stairs and to some degree bursts of or sustained activity AND calories burned. I don't give a flying fig whether they call it ACTIVE or VERY ACTIVE or SLEEP WALKING - and I have never paid attention to their rankings. That determination is MINE for ME. Their terms are irrelevant. I love that I stick it in my pocket in the morning and can see what I accomplished when I get home in the evening, even if I forget (as usual) to write it down.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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REFFIE1 12/3/2012 3:47PM

    If your Y has a group personal training session that is less expensive. It is also not that anxiety producing since the groups are not that big. I have found group personal training has really helped me. Trainers push you much further than you would yourself. Maybe have that as a reward and also as an incentive. emoticon

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REVIVED 12/3/2012 2:26PM

    I actually have a lot of social anxiety too believe it or not. Fun fact, I can't go to the grocery store by myself. I have so much anxiety about the whole process. I've gotten a lot better in general. Losing weight has helped a lot but I still struggle with a lot of things, like I really want to run a 5k but I'm too scared to do things like that by myself so I'm not too sure how its gonna happen. Too bad we don't live closer. Then we could hold each other hand! Have I said that before? I just got déjà vu.

I'm fighting the boredom too. Right now it's challenges keeping me going. I don't know why that seems to work for me but it does, well, more than anything else at least. And I keep seeing all these blogs from people who have lost a ton of weight in a year or even less and then here I am ...................

Ah we'll. do it till you want to do it and then do it some more.

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OLIVIANIGHT 12/3/2012 2:01PM

    Yeah I had a weekend like that too. I used the snow as an excuse not to run (even though my gym is literally 2 minutes walk away), and being miserable as an excuse not to go to the gym.
I think getting a trainer would really help, wish I could get one.

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SKEETOR 12/3/2012 9:34AM

    From one slacker to another...
Ugh! My yard is covered with leaves and I am dreading cleaning them up, but I suppose I should. I also have some nasty leaves to contend with...
As for the rut...I was sort of getting there but I got a kickboxing video that has some challenging moves and my hubby got me a hula hoop (weighted) for my birthday (I made the mistake of showing him a v-blog posted by MostMom1). I don't know how to hula hoop at all and it's a good workout picking it up, trying to hoop, watching it fall, picking it up, trying to hoop, watching it fall..... I feel like the Karate Kid!

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    You have such a charming cyber personality- honest and down to Earth ( or Mars during Comicon) I can't imagine you not being a social butterfly! Is that like multiple personalities? If so, you create a personality for group activities. Just kidding:} I think you'd be surprised by the camaraderie built in a group activity. You should try before investing in a trainer. Think about how hard your first week of running was way back then. Now that you're an athlete, running 5ks and halfs it doesn't feel so impossible. Through this study you have done things I'm sure you never thought possible- restraint at girls Christmas with moms cookies and eating grilled chicken??? That's just crazy progress!!!!

I am slowly getting out my workout rut. I tried a couple of new activities such as Zumba and bootcamp. Loved Zumba but hated bootcamp. I haven't run seriously in a couple of weeks and now I'm looking forward to getting back into it in the am. I vote for group run trial period, dance video online or cable and new running route to get you thru this hump. The weather is holding up nicely so enjoy the last few days of mild weather before we're stuck on treadmill like lab rats.
You'll get through this hump because you know how important fitness is to your health and continued progress. Let's get to work Boo!!!

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POMATOJUICE 12/3/2012 9:02AM

    "At this point those who read my blog are aware of my whole social anxiety thing; but, when having a social element is exactly what I need to keep going... well... Ugh. "

This is soooo me. I love being social on the internet, but I get really anxious about meeting new people or doing new things.. however, sometimes you just have to! I would love to meet some people and make freinds with anyone around town who is more active than my current freinds, but the whole thing is just... scary! Plus, I don't really make freinds well, and I've never really gotten along with super active people before. I keep telling myself that it could be different now that I'm a little active now, but I wouldn't even know where to start. I don't like to leave the house :X

Thanks for posting more about your experiences with the fitbit. I wasn't really sure if it was something that could help me. I thought the bodymedia band might be more useful, but the fitbit is significantly cheaper!

I only used my free HRM for like two weeks before I stopped remembering to wear it during workouts, though... and I never used the step counter! So maybe it would be a waste of money on me.. lol

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