Wednesday, October 24, 2012
We're on the downhill side of this week and I don't know about you, but I'm totally stoked for this weekend's 5K. I am so sure I can improve on my run time (even if it's only by 30 seconds!) and I feel so much more confident going into this race than I did going into the Great Race a month ago.
So, yesterday I had planned on going for a jog from work to Fat Kids Club - I made it a block. Seriously, a block. I was sucking wind and I just felt TERRIBLE. Want to know what the culprit was? My backpack. I vow never to attempt to run with a backpack again. I spend more energy trying to keep the thing from running back and forth with each stride and to try and keep myself balanced that it's just not worth it.
So, next week, I plan ahead. I just need to get a small holder for my bus pass and relegate myself to bringing lunch in a plastic bag instead of my little cooler bag.
In other news this morning I had it all figured out. I had a dress I bought a year ago from ModCloth (it's here: www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/coach-
tour-dress-in-bleu ) and I've been waiting for both my weight to fall and the season to be appropriate to wear it. Wearing a large collared dress in the summer is no fun, batman!
So, this morning, I had every intention of wearing it to work. Blue dress. Grey tights. Brown boots. I was going to look BEAUTIFUL.
The dress fit! It was no longer skin tight in the chest and the waist had room in it. I was stoked.
And then I bent over.
Too short :(
As one of my friends on Facebook said, "There's no such thing as too short, only decent underwear." Still, I'm a bit too... humble to allow my knickers the chance of flapping in the breeze. Maybe I'll get some leggings, that will make me feel better...
I have to say should I ever a) get a date b) get wrangled into joining the icecapades or c) get a date TO the icecapades... well, I'll know what to wear.
How about you guys, ever had a piece of clothing totally disappoint? What'd you do with it?
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Welcome to almost Halloween, everyone!
As I most often do, I come up with what I want to blog about in the shower. Initially, I was thinking about babbling on about looking at weight and time. For example, this morning I was thinking about how I am 15lbs away from what I weighed in my sophomore/junior year of college. That's ten years ago. (But, what's ten years, two ex-boyfriends, and a college degree between me and the waistline?)
It's crazy when you start associating your weight with where you were at a point in time. Because, when it comes down to it, it took me about ten years to put on thirty pounds. Think about that, we all work hard and rejoice when the scale moves a half a poud or a pound in a week - but when you do the math, it probably took us years to put on the weight in the first place. I know, for me, it makes me feel so much better to know that. I mean, my scale hasn't moved in any substantive way for about two weeks (still sitting between 195.6 and 194.2); but, that's okay.
Well, to get back onto the title of today's blog - I was thinking about Halloween costumes. Yes, I love playing dress-up and Halloween is no exception. For the costume 5K my brother and I are doing Legends of the Hidden Temple (get all excited now if you're a product of 1980's Nickelodeon TV a-la Double Dare, Guts, and anything else that required an obstacle course.) We're doing the Blue Baracudas. If you know anyone who would like to dress as the Temple Guard and chase us attempting to steal our half pendants of life, let me know, I'll happily make them a gilly suit.
For the Saturday night movie costume contest I think I'm going to do Holly Golightly (AKA Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's.) The costume has to be movie inspired; and I, unfortunately, mostly have costumes from British TV shows / comic books.
So, somehow, I'm convinced Halloween got me thinking about Pirates and Ninjas (or it could have been that Once Upon a Time episode I watched last night).. Still, I've decided (first and foremost) that I'm totally a Pirate. I like a good party, I'm not above being boisterous, and shiny things tend to make me really happy. Ninjas, on the other hand, tend to be lone guns, seeking finesse in all they do, and wear dark clothing in the hopes of being inconspicuous.
Of couse, the Pirate and Ninja metaphors carry on to other things; too. You have Pirate exercises like Zumba, and spinning vs. Ninja exercises like Yoga, Pilates, and most weight lifting. Pirates like Cardio, I think (You can do lots of Arrrrrgh!) where as Ninjas would probably be more the sort for things that require focus.
Alright, I'll admit, my train of thought is a little screwy today.
Still, I'll throw it out there - what are you guys - Pirates or Ninjas?
Monday, October 22, 2012
I can't help but wonder if somewhere out there on the internet somebody is keeping a big, giant file of people who have graduated from the C25K program. If they aren't, they should.
Because when I started C25K I would have read those little notes from my future self and I would have probably looked at them like they were insane.
Because there is just no damned way that running for sixty-seconds at a time is going to do me any good. I mean, really, what's the point? Sixty seconds?
And then, well, you know, I tried doing a sixty second jog. Well, it wasn't as easy as I thought it was going to be. In fact, I'm not too proud to admit that at the end of it I was sucking wind. Once upon a time that would have been the moment I would have quit. I would have decided that this whole running thing was a bit too much work and not something I could ever really do. That's right, I would have talked myself out of it and gone back to old habits.
Well, thank God, this time I didn't.
I kept up with that program from May until September. That's right. I took a program that is supposed to be nine weeks and I made it last for 20 something. I like to think I was being economical. After all, it kept me from having to spend money on another app. Truth was, I was taking the program at my pace. I remember vividly the choice to repeat weeks 3, 5, and seven. I remember thinking that I would never be able to run for more than ten minutes straight.
Some people really hate the C25K program becaue they think it's a 1-size-fits-all program. Other's nay-say the program because anything that you have to 'stick to religiously' is bad. Well, two things - yes, it's a 1-size program. Why? Because if you're like me you can hang out in a week for as long as you like. Look at it like staying at 22 for a few years longer than the clock tells you - it's something that makes you feel more confident so I don't see any harm in it. Second, for those that say the program has to be followed 'religiously' I disagree. Outside of progressively increasing the duration of runs, there isn't anything magic about the rate it's accomplished. I don't think people should shy away from setting their own durations so long as they're aiming for a challenge and not just to stagnate.
What C25K has done for me is given me the structure I needed and the hutzpah to keep on trying. I never thought I could be a 'runner' (in fact, if you look at my second blog on this site I blatantly say 'I don't run'); but, this program has shaped me into someone who thrives from the challenge of getting my body moving, loves the adrenaline that comes with a road race, and even someone who is no longer ashamed to run in public.
Believe me, when I started I used to feel like an absolute turd every time I was prompted to walk. Why? Because I felt like everyone who saw me slow to a walk was judging me. Well, they can judge me from the backside because I'm well past caring about anyone's opinions as to why I slow down.
I hope that whoever reads this (and I hope it's someone just starting their C25K journey) is able to take away that for me the C25K program was nothing short of magic. Really, I wish I could find whoever is responsible (Galloway? Higdon?) and give them a giant flipping hug. They cnaged my life.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
So I've already bragged once and I'm going to do it again - I totally rocked 6.5 miles today. It was me, a wonky Pandora station, and the trail.
It was amazing.
Well, it wasn't just me.
See, I'm thinking right now of a million blogs I've read and the accompanying million I've written about the trials and tribulations of running while fat.
First, as we all know there is the innate fear of failure that comes with just trying. When you're fat, it's magnified a million times over. Because, well, if you stop running you're not just quitting -- it feels like you're quitting because you're fat.
I realized something today.
I realized that when I'm out running and I see a fellow fat runner I feel this amazing sense of comraderie. We're both out there, ignoring everything that society says we shouldn't be doing. We're ignoring the pain, the chafing, the humility that running has thrust upon us - and we're doing it.
I passed several fat runners today, and every single time I met their eyes I felt like we understood each other. We're out there working hard - and nobody cheers for a fat runner like a fellow fat runner.
Of course, I found today I had other cheerers. One lady gave me a fist pump. Another guy told me to keep on going as he passed. Total strangers - I can't help but wonder if they knew they carried me for my run today?
I guess, sometimes, we have to look past our insecurity to know that it's not just us all alone out on the trail - we've got not just spectators, but an entire cheering section.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Everything in my life lately has demanded a very, very healthy dose of the elusive thing called perspective. When you're in the middle of something sometimes perspective is the most difficult thing to achieve. I mean, in the middle of the forest all you can see are trees. At the top of a mountain sometimes all you see is how far up you are. When in the middle of fog it's sometimes impossible to know where you are at all.
I wanted to do a blog yesterday about the most important thing I've learned about running. I thought it was a technique thing - and you may agree. You see, like many first time runners I struggled with side cramps. I mean, those wicked, terrible stitches that run from your hip to your shoulder and make you think you're going to die. Then I learned what caused them. It wasn't that I lacked stretching or hydration or had some mythical imbalance. It was that I wasn't breathing properly. That, dear friends, has been the most valuable lesson I have picked up in running. When I'm panting and struggling and a side stitch turns up to kick my butt and tell me to stop - well, that's when I have to turn my brain on and breathe deeply and purposefully.
Inside the pain I think it's telling me to stop. Outside the pain it's really telling me to be more focused and purposefull.
Then, last night, I realize that I am again being kicked with an onslaught of dermographia (literally skin writing - the ability to write in hives anywhere on my skin, its an awesome halloween party trick...) At first I thought about how absolutely miserable it's making me. Then, I thought about what this opportunity is. It's my chance to listen to my body and stop poking it with these meds it obviously doesn't like. Further, it's not like I have cancer. It's not like I'm dying. I'm itchy. There are worse things to be in life.
Finally, this morning, I found myself at day 9 of 194.2. However, when I look at my charts I see I'm averaging about 1lb a week loss. That's better than no loss. It's better than what I was doing six months ago. It's amazing and a testament to what I can achieve. 1lb a week equates to thirty weeks until my goal weight. Wouldn't that be amazing?
Side stitches are teaching me focus.
Dermagraphia is teaching me humility.
My weight is teaching me patience.
I already know I have A LOT to learn!
Sometimes it's easy to get down on ourselves. To look at what happens to us as a hinderance - or worse as something beyond our control. Today was my day to remind myself that I can gain some perspective. As the serenity prayer says: Give me the serenity to accept those things I cannot change, the courage to change those things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I take this one step further - for those things I cannot change, allow me to see the positive changes that these things can have on me. Allow me to see where these things are guiding me on my journey.
So, it's a less peppy blog today and a more... philosophical one.
I hope all of you are able to push through your boundaries and for those you cannot push through, I hope you're able to find the way's they're challenging you to grow.
Side notes: It'll probably take about two weeks for the Dermagraphia to go away assuming my meds were responsible. There isn't much I can do about it as anti-histamines actually tend to make things worse :( Well, It's just going to be adventures in not getting scratched, bumped, or scraped.
Today I have planned a light run... Maybe about 20-30 minutes and a mile or two.
Oh, and I'm back on track for 1200-1300 calories a day. Very excited to be able to put my focus where it belongs and to take a bit more control of what goes into my mouth!
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