Friday, August 24, 2012
I have to admit, I'm having the sort of day where I'm feeling frustrated.
I'm the kind of girl who sets goals. Big goals. If you're going to dream, dream big I say. So, I aspire to lose weight and run a 5K. I aspire to feel comfortable in my own skin. I dare to dream that I will advance professionally and personally.
Today's a hard day because I'm looking at stagnation in the face. I've been in the realm of 204.4 and 204.5 for 10 days now. I've been keeping my calories in check and I've been running further and longer than I ever thought I could. (25 minutes of running! Two miles!) Yet, here I am, and my weight isn't shifting even a little bit. I tell myself that it's better to be sticking where I am than going up, but it doesn't make me any happier - it just makes me wonder at what part in my life do I need to work harder.
I've been working at my company for a little over a year. Long story short I have an issue of perceptions of my attention to detail, work ethic, and organizational skills that go completely against pretty much my own self perception. Things that I am assessed with and I think "How can you have this impression? Does that really even sound like me?"
It's just two blows in one week. It's two things I know I need to work harder at that I almost think I want to curl up and let win.
DragonCon is six days away. I finished up my prototype jacket last night and with a bit more effort I should be able to get it pretty close to where I want it to be. I wrapped up gauntlets last night and still need to finish boot covers.
We're almost over the hill with just one more week to push things out. This weekend I'm going to knock out the bulk. (I hope.)
Keep on sparking, everyone!
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Welcome to Thursday and day 5 of my weighing 204.4.
There's a thing about being a woman losing weight that our male counterparts don't get to experience - that one week a month were the scale means absolutely nothing and persmission is given to ignore it while focusing on some amazing non-scale-victories.
My non-scale-victory for this week has already been mentioned: the magically disappearing inches. I sew costumes and often have costumes sewn for me so I need to have accurate measurements taken every so often. Well, inches are going away. Two from my chest, one from my waist, and another two from my hips. I'm liking it, and it just means all of my costumes are going to fit even better.
So, the one marginally disappointing thing this week is that the finish line photos were published from the Liberty Mile. There's that one picture out there on the internet of "What I think I look like when I run / What I actually look like." Well, it's been confirmed, I actually look as ungraceful and uncoordinated as I imagine I do. No big deal, the look on my face says I'll run anybody over that gets between me and that line.
So, onto the topic at the title of my blog - Fashion Model.
DragonCon hosts a lot of different programming at the yearly con - and one of the tracks is costuming. I love to sew and be creative with costuming, so the track is right up my alley. Yesterday there was an all-call out for models. They wanted two average women, one plus, and a male. Well, I volunteered to be their plus. Sent in my measurements and I'm waiting to hear back. It's a fun opportunity because I have the confidence of the sun and love to play dress up. Given the option, would any of you guys be willing to be a 'Fashion Model?' why or why not?
That's about it from over here. Diet and exercise are going well. Yesterday was my day off and I spent it helping my parents pack. Today is C25K Week 6 Run 2. Tonight is more sewing.
I hope everyone is having a great weekend!
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
It's been a BUSY past couple of days!
Really, I'm just sewing my heart out. I've finished 3/4 of my Gambit costume and I'm pretty darn happy with how it's come out. I need to pull the armor in by about an inch (hooray!) so that it will sit correctly and finish the jacket. I'm hoping this is the first DragonCon where I don't have to bring any sewing down with me :-P
It's dark and grainy, but you get the idea.
Tonight was the meeting of the FKC, and I'm growing more and more tired of these lessons. People complain about how their weeks went and then complain about how they can't do wht they're supposed to do - and I feel sort of guilty for having had a fantastic week. I ran a race! RAN a RACE. No, aint none of these people going to make me feel bad.
I also ran to FKC today - which was a total of 30 minutes. 2 miles at a 13 minute pace - not so bad! Slowly but surely I'm building up to my 5K distance!
Well, I need to get some sleep, I hope you all are having a great week so far!
And, just for fun, some previous years costumes;
Star Fleet Officer
The Doctor (In the real set!)
Monday, August 20, 2012
If you don't mind it, it don't matter.
I'm just thinking about my run on Friday. Honestly, I didn't expect the 'high' to last this long. I'm still so proud of my rinky-dink mile. So proud of the fact that I got out there and did it. So very, very proud that I'm doing something I never in a million years thought I would actually do and enjoy.
That's the scary thing - I enjoyed that damned mile.
I think I'll really fracking enjoy three.
I have my dreaded 20 minute run for C25K Week 5 Run 3 today. This is the conclusion of my second run through week 5. I spent three weeks on week 3, so I have no fear of just repeating it until I'm confident. It's all about pacing, I know that now. Pacing and positive self talk.
I can do this. I will do this. I will call it done.
In other news my weekend was not a very successful one. I am so wrapped up in 1) celebrating my brother's birthday 2) preparing for DragonCon and 3) trying to keep my house in order that my eating and exercise regimine really fell to the wayside. I don't know why I do better sticking to my plans during the week, but I do. Less choices, more structure probably help with the whole thing, though. I eat the same breakfast every day, have four or five choices for lunch, and plan my snacks out. I don't feel deprived or hungry during the week. On the weekend I fall back into old habits of eating because I'm supposed to.
Sewing for the convention is in high gear. Last night I finished up the top of my body armor for Gambit, did half of my legging patches, and set myself up for a quick sew on the rest of the patches tonight. The leggings will be done this evening as well the corset portion of the armor. I intend to wrap up all the pieces except the Jacket for no later than Wednesday. With luck I'll get through them all tonight.
I hope everyone is having a great start to their week - if you're out for a run and you feel like slowing down, I'm right there beside you giving you a fist pump and a reminder, "WE CAN DO THIS!"
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Good morning, Sparklers!
The morning after the Liberty Mile and I'm still smiling!
That's me, all 204 pounds of happiness and joy after my first road race of my adult life.
I cannot say how proud I am of finishing that mile and how inspired and motivated I am for the 5K coming up at the end of September.
The Play by Play:
We line up and wait. The group I was with wanted to be near the front (crazies) and I begrudgingly moved up with them, noting that there was just going to be a bunch of people passing me. After a delayed start and a fit of nerves we were off! I just kept my pace slow and even, resisting the urge to keep up with the crowd. When I neared the quarter mile mark and saw my time at 2:20, I slowed, I don't think there's any way I can do an eight minute mile.
The times between that quarter and the last half were the longest - I was alone, being passed, and without any music.
As I neared the half mark there were people in front of me who'd slowed to a walk. Inspiration found. As I came upon them I cheered them on. "You've got this," and "Come on." "It's all downhill from here." I got some of them to start running again with me. Some of them picked up their pace and left me behind, but that was okay. I found my legs.
The last quarter mile and I could see the finish line. I hear the announcer cheering people in. Then I see my target - the person I have to pass. I'm at the end of the block and she's at the middle. I gun it. I push hard. I pass. I finish.
The rest of my company finished their miles between 5 and 8 minutes. I was really psyched for that five minute dude!
I finished 90/104, all 204 pounds of me.
There was a time when I would joke that I only run if I'm being chased. Now I run if I see something I want to pass. I run if I know my slow and steady pace inspires someone else. I run because I feel proud and accomplished.
What matters most is that I run.
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