Friday, September 24, 2010
I`m doing fairly well today so far. I have had a little more to eat than i would have liked but if I go with a small dinner I will still stay within my range. I plan to have a salad.
Yesterday after my dance lesson I was feeling great, and super motivated. It didn`t last. Today I am determined to stick with it but I feel like I`m fighting for it today. Yesterday was so easy because of the mood boost I got from the dancing, it always makes me feels awesome. I even met a new dance teacher they have. I finally get to dance with a man again lol, not til next week though.
anyway, I may be fighting myself today, to eat well and stick to my plan, but I am determined to do it. I need today to be day 2 of my calorie range streak! I`m going to keep track of it so that the longer I can do it the harder it will be for me to ruin it. I think I`m even going to buy myself a white board to hang up somewhere so i can keep track of things on there and keep it visible at all times. Now to figure out where to hang it lol. I`ll pick it up this weekend! Maybe even tonight. I need to try some new things to keep me motivated and having reminders where I can see them has been something I never tried. I just kind of thought to myself, ya whatever it won`t really help much. Now though I`m determined to try every little thing possible, well almost lol. I`m going to put a streak for exercise as well, though maybe not every day, maybe so many times a week or something. I`ll figure out what I think is best and then keep track. I`m hoping that seeing how well I`ve done will help me to keep doing it. Sometimes, you just need to see it.
I know someone commented that they want to see another video of me dancing, I will talk to my teacher and ask about doing another routine at one of the parties. I have to figure out what dance though, and then figure out who I`ll be dancing with as I don`t really have a regular teacher at the moment. maybe now the new teacher will be my regular one but I`m not sure. I'll let you all know when I get one planned.
I hope you all have a great weekend ^_^
Thursday, September 23, 2010
I just got back from my dance lesson. It's been 3 weeks since my last one because I was on vacation and then I was sick. It felt really good to be back ^_^ and it has motivated me even more to lose weight. I know I'm going to need all the help i can get to stick with it as I know my motivation tends to be short lived. I have so many reasons to lose weight, dancing better and feeling better about myself are just a couple of them but they are big ones. I know I can do this, when I'm trying, so I'm going to start finding some motivating pictures to hang around my place to keep all these things in mind. Finding a nice picture of some people dancing will be one of the first things I'm going to get. In a nice waltz pose would be awesome ^_^
Oh, today during my lesson, my instructor was teaching me the tango, and its one my not so good dances lol. He was showing me how body contact really helps with the leading and I even let him do it. For those of you who dont know, I have a problem with touching and people getting in my personal space. I didn't like the body contact but I let him do it, at least for a short while, then it got to be too much. I have to admit, even with the anxiety it caused, I was better able to follow. I am definitely getting better at this!
Anywho, time to go make myself a really healthy and yummy dinner!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Yesterday was actually a good day. I had finished my 3000 word report on the weekend as it was due yesterday and Im so happy its finally done. I also signed up for music lessons through my college`s music department. It was a really good deal and Ive been wanting to get back into it for a while. I play the piano and the flute but i havent played either for quite some time. So she had me take my music books and then we went over some stuff on the piano. Then at the end of the lesson she took me over to talk to the director of the program as she said i was too advanced to learn from her. Her major is flute and she also teaches basic piano and Im at level 4 which is apparently not basic. So we decided that I would do flute lessons instead because it would be very complicated rearranging the teacher`s schedule to get me a different teacher. I dont mind, I like the flute too. I dont have as many books for it, and I havent played it as long, but I enjoy it!
Im actually considering taking piano lessons again though, because if i drop the hapkido class i can afford it, but not both. I havent really been going to hapkido lately so it would probably be better anyway. Im going to think about it for awhile and see what i decide. If i do drop the hapkido I will make up for it by going to the gym more often. Which as of right now I dont really have a lot of time for it anyway. It would free up my schedule a bit as music would be once a week and hapkido is twice. I wouldnt be learning to fight though. Learning to defend myself would probably be super good for my confidence, Im still a beginner there lol, but thats only if i actually go. the hapkido is really difficult for me as well because I havent been able to improve my fitness level very much, I keep slacking, and so the fitness requirements are very difficult.
I want to start running to help with that, maybe even run a 5k someday but I dont feel like I could even start the c25k program right now. I also wouldnt do it front of other people and I dont have my own treadmill so thats not an option. I would just feel like an idiot doing it in front of people at the gym. Ive decided im going to get back on the swimming again. I did it for a while but then quit. I will start again as a way to work on my fitness until I feel ready to start to the c25k. Swimming is supposed to great for fitness level but not so great for losing weight because it keeps your body temp lower, so I will keep seeing my trainer and doing my dancing.
I have no classes today so I will start to plan my meals for the week again. I didnt have time on the weekend because of my huge report. I will then go shopping tomorrow morning as Im seeing a friend today and wont have time. I know nutrition is my main problem. I always screw up and overeat or eat the wrong things. This I know so I need to somehow gain the discipline to limit the bad foods. I did good for breakfast today though, oatmeal! My friend has also agreed to make something for dinner that is healthy for me, hes very supportive. Then were seeing a movie and Im going to save enough calories today to have some popcorn and a drink.
Ive still got that reward list i made in mind and Ive only got 10 pounds til my first reward on it. I actually wish I didnt live alone right now. Then there would be someone here to help me keep control of my eating.
Anyway, I have to get ready to go to the gym and see my trainer so I will talk to you all later
Saturday, September 18, 2010
I haven't blogged in quite a while so i thought I would update you all on how I'm doing. I'm not doing great. I haven't lost any weight, I'm not doing well with the challenge at my gym. I guess I can say goodbye to that $10,000. I'm really depressed right now and I've started seeing a therapist. I'm hoping she can help me because in this mindset it is nearly impossible for me to stay on top of my eating and exercising. I haven't even been to hapkido or dance class in about 3 weeks. Of course this past week doesn't really count as I was sick so I couldn't go lol.
I know I haven't been around much on my teams or posting on people's blogs. I will try to change that but it's so hard to encourage other people when I feel hopeless. I'm struggling to get my school work done, and house work and deal with just every day things.
I will be on here tracking every day, and i will make an effort to be a little more active with my teams. I hope you all are doing better than I am right now.
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