FOXYROXY13   27,375
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FOXYROXY13's Recent Blog Entries

March 5, 2010

Friday, March 05, 2010

I haven't been doing well lately, at all. I've been kinda depressed and not feeling too well so I've been doing horribly. I'm not feeling so depressed now but still not too well. I have been super tired for almost 2 weeks now, and geting a headache almost every day. Also some nausea and dizziness and just a whole bunch of stuff. This morning, when I was washing my hair, I noticed a lump on the back of my head as well. Right where a lot of my headaches are. I went to the doctor and he said it could be my lymph node though it doesn't really feel like it, or it could be a cyst or something. Basically, I he said I don't need to worry about it unless it gets bigger as it is pretty small, and if it does get bigger then I will need to go for an ultrasound. He does want me to do some blood tests though, so I gotta go for that tomorrow.

On a brighter note, Marko started teaching me the samba yesterday ^_^ It's a little tricky to get the rhythm and the bounce right. All we did yesterday was the basic and the box step. I'm having another lesson tomorrow and we're going to focus on the samba, because it's new, and the tango, because I'm not very good at it. I'm kinda debating on whether or not to do the tango for my next routine, because that would be a very good motivator to get better at it lol. I also think it would be cool, when I do the tango now or later, if I do it to the song tango de roxanne, ir whatever it's called. The one in moulin rouge because it's a pretty good tango song and of course it has my name in it. Not many people can say they have a tango song lol. I also like santa maria, and 2 songs from take the lead, asi se baila el tango and the la cumparsita remix. otherwise I could do the rumba or the chacha as I feel like I'm fairly good at those already. I think not the swing, not so good lol, but fun, I guess I could do the foxtrot too, I'm not bad at that.

anyway, it's late like 12:15 in the morning lol, so I should get to bed as I'll need all my energy tomorrow for the tango, the samba, and of course work. night guys!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GAYLE73 3/5/2010 8:10PM

    Missed reading your blogs this week! :) so happy to hear from you!!

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DAWNWINS 3/5/2010 7:06PM

    Keep on dancin' Roxy, very cool!

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LIFEGENESIS 3/5/2010 11:46AM

    Hang in there sweetie! I know you are going through a lot right now and I just want you to know that we are all here for you. :D We are so proud of you for all the dancing you have been doing and ESPECIALLY the sticking around on Spark even when you are not feeling "into" it. Staying around is critical. Through the good times and bad, hon. We will be RIGHT HERE to support you! :D

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LYNNDE 3/5/2010 4:38AM

    I would elove to learn how to do those dances! They look so 'hot' lol...or romantic...Especially the tango! And the energy! Wow!!

I have cysts on my I had the first one removed at 26, and they keep coming back. Just oil buildup in the area, usually not a problem unless they become infected. I had my 2nd one removed back in 07. Right now, I have about four..a couplelittle ones, and then some bigger ones. Praying yours are not anything serious.

Take care of yourself, and get some of that energy back. Have a blessed day!!

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February 23, 2010

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Hey guys,

I haven't been having a good week. Horrible in fact. I've been feeling totally depressed for almost 2 weeks now and so I've been eating pretty much nothing but junk food, which just makes me feel worse. I'm not even having much fun dancing anymore. I never have ebergy for it anyway. I had a lesson todaym and my energy was gone after half an hour. the last half I was totally tired and you could definitely tell, I wasn't really trying anymore, well I was but not very well. I did learn a new step for the waltz, my fav, during the first half. He said it was an advanced step, but that still didn't make me feel good. He even said I was doing well in the foxtrot and the waltz. but then we moved on to the tango and the chacha and by that time I was done.

I have a migraine now, though it's getting better. I use a cold pack on my head and it usually helps. It was killer before though.

I'm going to start seeing a therapist I think. not only because I get depressed once in a while, last time was in the summer, but also because of several other things. I found a place in toronto, which is about 45 mins to an hours drive, that is covered by my provincial health plan. I do need a referral from my doctor though and I really don't want to talk to him about it. I'm going to try though. Maybe he knows a place closer but every place I've found isn't covered by OHIP. I've actually got a lot of stuff I think should be adressed. The depression of course, which I would consider mild compared to some people, self esteem and self image issues, the fact that I don't like touching at all yet I so want a relationship with someone one day in wich I can be physically affectionate, my social anxiety, which is definitely getting better with the dancing. I don't really remember doing my waltz though, its kinda fuzzy, like a dream that fades as you wake up, but I have the video for proof lol. Anyway there's other stuff too but I don't want to be writing too much about it lol. I'll let you all know what happens, like if I do decide to see a therapist and how it goes and stuff. I don't even know if I'll be able to talk to them, I'm really not good at the whole talking about my feelings and what goes on in mind thing. Half the time I don't even know lol.

Ok, that's enough from me lol, have a nice week everyone.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WEIGHTING4BABY 2/24/2010 5:40AM

    Maybe you were tired during dancing because of the junkfood?
Just remember you have a whole team and website behind you:)

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LIFEGENESIS 2/23/2010 10:50PM

    Right on! I think that is a great idea. I start seeing a counselor on Friday this week. Eeek! It's time to take on the inner battles as well as the physical. This can only lead to good things! :D I'm right here with ya hon!

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DAWNWINS 2/23/2010 10:43PM

    Good for you that you are reaching out for help, that is a courageous move
Good Luck to you Roxy

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February 17, 2010

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Hey guys,

I've been having a very stressful day. I had a midterm today and I have another one tomorrow. I've been stressing about them, and I messed up my diet today. I skipped breakfast, which I never do, then I ate all my calories at lunch, and now I'm not even hungry for dinner. I know I went way over for sodium but I haven't tracked today. I'm trying to chug down as much water as I can to try and get some of that stuff out of system, I'm actually pretty thirsty today anyway.

I'm also just feeling kinda down today, no reason other than stressing about the tests. I mean I had a good weekend and all, and I don't normally stress so much about tests and school work. I had cancelled yesterday's dance lesson for more study time and I'm going to try and get an appointment for one tomorrow after my test, they're really good for stress relief. I always leave a lesson feeling great. I just love dancing.

On a more positive note, there's a new guy in my hapkido class now, he just started today, and he may be bringing his girlfriend in to try it. So I might not be the only girl anymore ^_^ It's only a maybe but it would be nice.

I really need to get the scale moving too, normally I'm pretty patient and ok with it going slowly, but it just feels like it's barely moving now. I feel like I'm not making enough progress, like I'm failing yet again. I feel pretty lonely too, my only friends are the ones I dance with, and they're great, but It would be nice to have one really close friend that I can call when I'm feeling down or have a stressful day. A boyfriend would be great for that too but unfortunately, I've never felt like anyone could actually be attracted to me or want to go out with me.

See, all negative thoughts today! It's horrible and I don't know how to make myself be positive again. Being negative just makes it worse.

Ok, I'm going to go take a break from studying and maybe watch some tv to try and stop myself from thinking too much right now.

Night everyone.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAWNWINS 2/18/2010 6:45AM

    Hi Roxy
Just a suggestion. I made a really good friend by taking the risk and making the move. I asked one of my son's friend's Mom over for a football game. This has blossomed into a best friendship. We both talk about how lonely we were for a good friend before we got together. Start looking around school and work for people you admire and would be potential friends and reach out to them. You would be surprised at how lonely of a world it is and how quickly you become great friends.
Hope you have a better day

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LYNNDE 2/18/2010 5:20AM

    Yesterday was a bad day, but today is a new day!! Time to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start again.

You are good enough, you are pretty enough, you are lovable, you are special!

Find some positive quotes, there are some on this site, or you can do a google search, print the ones you like...and post the bathroom (a great place to read), in your bedroom, on the refrigerator door, anywhere that you are going to see them often and more than once a day.

Take a bubble bath with relaxing music by candlelight or give yourself a manicure or pedicure.

You can do this, you were meant for great things and you will be successful.

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February 16, 2010

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Well today was kinda stressful, too much studying and homework, which I get to do all day tomorrow too after my first midterm. I have another one on thursday, and then again next week. I think I'm good for tomorrows.

I don't remember if I blogged about this before, but when I was at the health and wellness expo at my school last week, I signed up for this fitness challenge. The mohawk students association is running it, and its just basically 12 weeks of free, fun fitness classes. They started in january so I missed a few, but today was fun, and just what I needed after a stressful day. It was a salsa lesson, like club salsa. It was very similar to the little bit of salsa I've done in my lessons but a bit more relaxed. Ballroom salsa is a bit more formal and stuff but still lots of fun. Next week is hula hoop aerobics lol. After we learned the moves, we partnered up, and of course there are more girls than guys doing the fitness classes, so I was paired with a girl and I did the guy part as I've done the salsa a bit before. Though being the guy was new ^_^ It was a lot of fun.

I did end up cancelling my dance lesson today though, with Marko at Fred Astaire. Just so I could have more time for studying, but I needed the break so I went to the salsa thing. I think I'm going to try and reschedule my lesson for thursday or friday, after my midterms for the week are over.

On sunday, Valentine's Day, I worked in the morning for 8 hours, which was really long as I was at my cashier job, then I came home and finished some homework, then I went dancing. There were so many of us in our group we took up 2-1/2 tables lol. We normally need 2 but neither are quite full. Anyway, I had a great time, but for a bit there I did feel a bit lonely given that it was valentine's day and I didn't have a date. that was my first time ever going out on valentines, it was nice. I really hope when I do meet someone they can share my interest in ballroom dancing, it would be great to have something we could share. Unfortunately all the guys I meet are too old lol, they're nice but kinda old ^_^ My parents keep making jokes about me marrying some old guy and being rich when he dies lol.

Anyway, I'm taking some time now to have dinner and watch some tv and relax, then it's back to studying.

Have a great week everyone!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAWNWINS 2/17/2010 6:37AM

    I love the hula hooping idea although I could never keep one up for more than a few spins.
Have a great day Roxy!

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My Waltz Routine

Friday, February 12, 2010

This my waltz routine. It was my first routine at the parties. Sorry about the noise, everyone likes to cheer and holler and whistle all the time! I got a lot of compliments from the people at the dance, I hope you all like it too ^_^

It actually wasn't as scary as I thought. Once I got up there, it was very short, only about a minute, and I didn't notice the people too much. They're asking me what my next routine will be lol.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    yayy! this was awesome and beautiful! post more post more! hehe

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BORROWEDANGEL1 2/13/2010 10:03PM

    You look so beautiful on the dance floor. I'm sure your partner was very taken by you, and your gracefulness.. I enjoyed watching your video very much!! Congratulations!!

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TEEJAY2009 2/12/2010 9:28PM

    Absolutely beautiful! You totally floated throughout the whole dance. Extremely graceful and! :)

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JUNEBUGSC 2/12/2010 6:38PM

    awesome job!!!! Loved it!!!

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PRETTYFACE245 2/12/2010 5:13PM

    You were great! You guys were so graceful and the dress was a perfect choice. Well done! emoticon

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JAMIELOGICAL 2/12/2010 2:08PM

    Look at you in your dress and with your hair up. You look lovely.

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LYNNDE 2/12/2010 9:35AM

    It was truly beautiful, and graceful. I have always wanted to learn how to do the Waltz!! When is the next waltzing video? emoticon

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LIFEGENESIS 2/12/2010 8:54AM

    You are absolutely poised and beautiful! Hope amazing. You had me crying I was so happy for you. :D I hope to be as graceful on the dance floor in the future. Thank you for a perfect start to the day. :) emoticon

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DAWNWINS 2/12/2010 6:51AM

    Way to be!
Sounds like you have alot of fans too!
Have a great weekend!

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NO_EXCUSES_ 2/12/2010 6:00AM

    It was beautiful! You were so graceful, and the red ribbon was a wonderful addition to your dress. This is your best posted dance so far emoticon

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WEIGHTING4BABY 2/12/2010 5:34AM

    I literally got tears in my eyes! It was so beautiful!

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TERRA49 2/12/2010 1:28AM

  You are so graceful on the dance floor. You are amazing out there. Wish I could look like you on the dance floor. You definitely have a natural talent. Keep it up and thanks for sharing.

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