Sunday, January 24, 2010
Ok, so I had a pretty good day. I got up and had to go to work after sleeping in, awesome ^_^ I went shopping after work, there were a lot of great deals today but I managed to avoid the ice cream sale. I had pizza for dinner, but I made sure I didn't go over my calorie range. I've been catching up on some of my shows. It's been a ncie relaxing day. Tomorrow though, I'm getting to working out as I have a dance lesson and I have hapkido.
Unfortunately my evening is now ruined. I remembered I have to go to the sleep clinic tonight. I have sleep apnea and it's my yearly appointment to make sure I'm getting the right pressure on my cpap machine. Last time I went, they gave me a sleeping pill and I still only slept 3 hrs. I'm not taking a pill tonight since it doesn't do much except make me feel crappy the next day. They really don't help me at all. Mostly what keeps me awake is the camera looking at my bed. I mean, I know they don't sit there and watch me, but still, it bugs me. Also the wires hooked up to me everywhere don't help.
Before I go though, I'm gonna play with my dad's camcorder so I can record me at my lesson tomorrow for my spy vs spy. It's an old camera lol, it's not even digital. Anyway, I'm gonna go back to my shows and relax and try not to worry about tonight, which I know is gonna be horrible. Have a nice week everyone!
Friday, January 22, 2010
I had a good day at work today. My eating was going really well until dinner time when I started craving pizza again, same as last night. I was able to resist the craving by making myself a grilled cheese pizza sandwich on multigrain bread, much healthier, smaller and actually really tasty. I didn't even use pizza sauce, I used canned diced tomatoes and added some basil, oregano and garlic, and just a bit of cheese. I had 2 full sandwiches and I'm having some chili I made in my slow cooker too. All this for dinner and I'm still within my calorie range ^_^ I did go over a bit for fat because of the cheese but I think overall I did pretty well today.
I'm getting a new couch from my parents tomorrow, mine is breaking and stained and stuff. I really need to take better care of this one. It's a futon so I'm thinking I'll get a cover for it because it's suede and I don't want to ruin it. The only problem is that my apartments still a bit of a mess and I'm running out of time to clean it. My mom's a neat freak. I need to do some more dishes, clean up my kitchen, tidy up my living room and mop the floors. She won't be going in the bedroom so I can leave that til tomorrow afternoon. I'm still finishing dinner though and I really want to play some DDR on my wii tonight. I haven't really done much in the way of exercise today, of course cleaning counts but it's not fun ^_^
Me and LOSTWITHIN have made a promise to each other that we aren't going to cheat or binge for a week, we'll do it together. I know we can, and I have a hard time with it when I get stressed or emotional, and unfortunately I get stressed a lot, mostly about money and around other people. It's getting a lot better though because of my dance lessons. I'm still trying to fit into my dress for my rountine in a month, I know I can do it because I'm almost there. Even when I stand up really straight it fits me, it's just that I'll be dancing so it can't be too tight. I know I can do it though. I'm gonna be awesome when I do my Waltz ^_^ I'm both excited and terrified about it. My family hasn't even ever seen me dance and now I'm going to dance in front of all the other students and instructors, and then post it online for you all to see. Mind you the posting won't be as difficult as the dancing, after it'll be easy ^_^
Hope everyone has a nice weekend!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Ok, so I messed up bad yesterday. I binged on mcdonalds. So today, determined to fit into my dress and be excited about my waltz routine and not scared about it, I did very well. Not as much exercise but I did well with my eating. I ended up being below my calorie range for the day, which was intentional though I know it's not good to do that for long. Tomorrow I will try for my calorie range again. I don't feel comfortable eating under because I know it can just screw up all my efforts. I did do a bunch of cleaning and stuff today, which is being active, and I played DDR for 20 minutes. Unfortunately, I have no more time for it because I need to get some sleep for work in the morning.
I know I shouldn't stress so much about the dress, I just want to look good when I dance in front of everyone, it'll be my first time and I'm very nervous. And when your doing a waltz, it just feels like you should be wearing a dress ^_^ Anyway, I know I was challenged to post a video of me dancing, it won't be the waltz though, I'm saving that for my routine which I will post when I do it. I'm thinking maybe the ChaCha or something. Anyway, my lesson is on Monday and I will ask my parents if I can borrow their camcorder when I see them for dinner on sunday.
Right now I am very motivated and determined, though not necessarily positive. I'm kind of worried that I will continue to make slow progress and not meet my goal, or worse, make no progress at all. I have the willpower right now if not the positive attitude, hopefully that will be enough for the time being.
I am finding SP helpful, even though I haven't lost much, because I come on every day and I think about what I'm eating and how active I'm being. I'm tracking all my food, even the bad stuff, and I think I am making progress in my desire to live a better healthier life, even though I'm having trouble losing. So if I keep improving, eventually I have to lose, it's just hard to be patient sometimes.
Anyway, that's enough rambling from me ^_^ have a nice weekend everyone!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
today sucks, yesterday was pretty good. I had a dance lesson last night and afterwards I felt pretty good about myself and very positive and motivated. My instructor said I did very well with the swing, the chacha and the waltz.
Unfortunately today, the good feeling is totally gone. I feel like I'm never gonna to lose the weight, never look good and never fit into my dress that I so want to wear for my waltz. I'm supposed to do it a month but I think I will delay it another 3 weeks. I think that if I can fit into that dress first I just might feel good enough about myself and how I look to do the waltz in front of everyone, otherwise I don't know. I'm just not losing weight, I mean I lose a little then gain it back, lose it again and gain it back again. I'm trying to stay positive but today it's just so hard. I don't know how to keep myself from messing up, nothing I do works. Like today, even after eating out I was within my calorie range, until I had some ice cream Please help guys, I so want to fit into my dress as quickly as possible.
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