FOXYROXY13   26,851
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December 31, 2013

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Well It's now new year's eve. I don't do new years resolutions. I feel like then it's something I'm only obligated to stick for one year, not that I ever usually stick to it anyway.

I have to say right now I'm not doing well. I've maintained my weight loss from the past couple years. My depression is becoming a major issue again. My anxiety is as bad as it ever was. A couple months ago I also came to a realization. My emotional eating is not just emotional eating. It's binge eating disorder.

It's been a problem for a very long time, since I was 9 years old. I always felt like it was my fault, like I could stop if I was just stronger. Now, after 17 years, I see I can't stop on my own and I'm seeing a therapist to deal with everything. I initially went to him for the anxiety and depression. He does not treat eating disorders. He's going to refer me to someone who does. I have also been going to a place for eating disorders that is near me. I have found it very informative. It really helped me when I wasn't sure if it was really an eating disorder or not. I suppose coming to terms with the fact that I have an eating disorder has been a factor in my depression being worse lately.

My doctor has recommended anti-depressants. I have to say I'm not a fan of drugs though. I have been dealing with a naturopath who gives me herbals and supplements instead. I get less side effects with the more natural therapies. I've been seeing him for over a year now. I just found out yesterday he will be going on sabbatical in a couple weeks. I don't know for how long. I have to admit it kind of scares me. Because of the anxiety it's hard for me to deal with new people. I have also told him a lot of hard things, like about the binge eating and the occasional thoughts of suicide I have. He likes to know about the psychological stuff too so I try to keep him informed. It's taken me a long time to get used to him and I'm worried about dealing with a new person. He's gonna have someone fill in for him. I'll meet the new person and see if I think I can work with them.

I need to work on my mental health before I worry about losing more weight. I will be still here a little bit. But I won't really be trying to lose weight. I'm just gonna be working on maintaining what I've lost already. I'll work on losing more when I'm feeling better. I know this isn't a mental health website but everyone here has been really great and supportive so I'll be sticking around a bit anyway.

Hope everyone has a great new year's!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WILDFLOWERR_ 1/7/2014 3:27PM

    WE are here for you. Sharing is part of your recovery. Praying for you!

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FRANKLY5 1/1/2014 9:21AM

    I like this blog. You are so open and honest. Good luck to you in 2014

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STEVEN2GO2 12/31/2013 7:48PM

    Great idea talking to a therapist, I pray it helps with your issues!


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August 8, 2013

Thursday, August 08, 2013

Ok so my last blog detailed some stomach and digestive issues I've been dealing with. It's been off and on for more than a year now. I also have low iron and B12, insulin resistance from the PCOS, and anxiety.

Someone did comment last time that anxiety or stress could be contributing to my problems. Well I'm wondering now if it's all from the anxiety. I actually do have generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, and now that I think about it, over the past year or so, especially the last couple months, I have been having more panic attacks. I've made an appointment with my GP but I don't know what he's going to do about it. I really don't want to take any drugs, and I've just now started seeing a therapist. I don't think I'll be able to afford to go for very long, but I'm going to do whatever I can in the time I have.

I saw a nutritionist yesterday, a follow up to get a meal and supplement plan designed to help my stomach issues. I had a mild panic attack after I left because it's just one more thing for me to try to help my stomach that's going to fail. I hadn't even started yet so how can I know it won't work? I haven't been sleeping well at all, and half the time when I do I have nightmares. The nutritionist did give me some supplements to help with the anxiety too so hopefully everything will work out, and start to improve soon.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WILDFLOWERR_ 10/28/2013 12:34AM

    I'm so proud of you to see your ticker moving down just hang in there you can do this Philippians 413
Do all things through Christ who strengthens you!
love ,

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STEVEN2GO2 8/9/2013 8:31AM

    I hope you find a way to deal with the stress/anxiety. I have found just deep breathing and concentrating on that helps when I have a panic attack. After about 10 -15 minutes on concentrating on breathing the attack will go away. This works for me and if you try this I hope it works for you. Best wishes as you deal with these issues!


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PATTYKLAVER 8/9/2013 8:20AM

    Many health departments have free or sliding scale doctors and therapists available. Talking to someone does help me. Maybe you should consider short-term medications until your body can get on an even keel again. Good luck to you.

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WEIGHTING4BABY 8/8/2013 7:56PM

    Sounds like so much is going on. I hope you get answers soon.

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Stomach troubles again!

Sunday, July 21, 2013

I know I've been rather quiet on SP for a while. I'm having stomach trouble again. I was sick last year with nausea for about 4 months with no real resolution found with my GP. I've been seeing a naturopath since then in the hopes that he can find a cause. I'm doing better than last year though, I'm actually eating some, though not enough for the most part.

He also diagnosed iron deficiency anemia. I'm finding that really difficult to deal with right now. I'm on an elimination diet as I suspect some food allergies or sensitivities as well. In general I don't eat enough red meat and right now beef is off limits. My naturopath gave me an iron supplement that is supposed to be really easy on the stomach but I still get nauseous every time I take it. I'm also a really picky person lol, so green veggies are hard for me as well.

I saw a nutritionist last week and I hope she'll be able to help me get the iron in my food as much as possible. I'm waiting on my next appt where I'll get a meal plan. She said she should also be able to help me figure out what the allergies are as I've been having issues with that. I'm sticking to the elimination diet as much as possible in the meantime. I'll try to keep everyone updated on my progress with the nutritionist and the naturopath, I figure someone may find it interesting. It'll also be a good record for myself to keep track of how things go, whether or not there's any improvement.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RISINGBLUESTAR 7/27/2013 11:14AM

    Anemia can be tough to deal with. I have dealt with it on and off since I was 6 and I find that the green iron pills that you can buy over the counter are much better than the red ones the doctor prescribed. Have no idea if that is a helpful bit of information but hopefully, it will be.

Are you stressed. Sometimes, high amounts of stress and anxiety can cause trouble issues. It can also make you feel ill when you eat.

Even with an underlying medical issue, stress can make it worse so it is just something to consider.

Good luck! :)

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JAMIELOGICAL 7/22/2013 11:59AM

    Sorry to hear you are still having such a rough time of it. Hopefully the experts can help you get things sorted out.

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PYNETREE 7/22/2013 8:21AM

    It is hard, to eat healthy when you are trying to eliminate whole groups of food, trying to figure out what cause nausea, and trying to get enough nutrients in. It's like working on a big puzzle, with pieces missing.

Who said you don't eat enough? Do they just mean nutrient wise? And saying you don't eat enough beef..? No Dr. or trained professional would recommend eating more beef to improve anemia. So many other sources, all healthier options.

I had to take Iron Supplements once- and I agree, they were hard on my Gastro Intestinal system. I was constipated, and nauseous.

You are lucky to have a Nutritionist, they will guide you along this path to a healthier you. I'm wishing you Strength and Luck!

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LINOVER 7/21/2013 9:13PM

    Hope your naturopath helps you in finding out what is causing your nausea!

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Getting back on track!

Monday, February 18, 2013

so I posted a blog not too long ago announcing that I'm back, again lol. So I haven't done too much work since then to really get going again. Today, Family Day here in Ontario ^_^ I used my day off to make some plans. I purchased a new game for my Xbox. Your Shape, a game that uses the kinect sensor for anyone who is not familiar with it. I have a gym membership but I find it too intimidating to go to the gym at my current weight (340 lbs) and either work out alone or do a class, and unfortunately I don't have someone to go with me. I'm keeping the gym membership for now and hope to be confident enough to go soon ^_^ for now though, I'll make an effort to work out at home.

I always use my cell phone to keep track of appointments and work and stuff. I put my exercise time in there 3 days a week for 30 mins for now. I'll work up to 5 days a week and then maybe increase the time as well but we'll see how things go lol. The point is that I entered it in as part of my schedule with a reminder so that it's not just something I plan to do those days and if it doesn't fit in then oh well lol. It's part of my schedule and it's something that needs to be done.

I also recently purchased some protein powder. I'm horrible for eating breakfast out. I find it difficult to get up in the morning and make something to eat. So I'm going to make fruit smoothies with a protein powder, I know protein is very important, so that I can have my breakfast on the way to work but not get something from a drive-thru. This will also help me get my fruit and veggie servings which I'm horrible at getting lol.

I will also be trying to pack my lunch most days of the week, again I eat out far too often lol. Right now it doesn't matter if my lunch is healthy or not, I'm just trying to get in to the habit of taking it. After a few weeks and it's more of a habit then I'll work on the content of my lunches. Dinners I'll just keep eating whatever for now, again that's going to be something I work on later. I'm trying to do this slowly step by step so it becomes a lifetime habit to do these things.

So right now, I'm working on exercising 3x a week at home for 30 mins, having fruit smoothies for breakfast and taking lunch to work instead of eating out. That's it for now. I figure in 3-4 weeks, then I'll see how I'm doing and work on new goals ^_^

Each week I'll try to blog about how I did in meeting those goals.

so for today ^_^ I did very well, I worked out, as I set mon, wed and fri for my workout days, and, though I have today off work for a stat holiday, I did have my first fruit smoothie for breakfast today. and of course as everything is closed for the holiday, I have no choice but to eat home lol.


Back yet again!!!

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

so here I am back on sparkpeople yet again after a couple months of being away. I need to try and keep at it this time.

I know that one of the main issues I struggle with is emotional eating. I have depression and anxiety so it happens far too often. I have just recently started seeing a psychologist so hopefully he will be able to help me get a handle on the emotional eating. He works holistically so he doesn't advocate the use of drugs in treating psychological problems. I really like that as I am against drugs. He has me on a number of homeopathic remedies so we'll see how they work lol.

I also need to work on exercise which I know is an issue for many people lol. I do ballroom dance lessons once or twice a week but it just isn't enough. I am not going to push too hard on the exercise front just yet as I think it's going to be a difficult process working on the emotional stuff. I need to keep my goals reasonable lol. I also think that exercising more often will be easier as the anxiety and depression improve. I know that exercise is supposed to really help but I can't try to do too much all at once. I'll do what little amount of exercise I can for now and then work on improving that as the other stuff gets better.

So my main goals for right now are improving my mental well being and my nutrition.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRACYLYNN853 2/12/2013 12:18PM


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WEIGHTING4BABY 2/12/2013 12:18PM

    Welcome back!!! emoticon

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