Thursday, November 20, 2014
Well, I thought I had relief. Still feeling sick off and on. I am definitely getting the sense it's stress related, but happens more when I'm ANTICIPATING something than when I am IN a stressful situation.
I think much of the stress of this month is over. Just a few weeks left. I fell off the bandwagon a little last week because a friend was in town and we went out to eat a lot. I'm not complaining, and I'm not even that worried about it. I actually loved being able to make well-rounded meals. My friend lives by himself, and his mother died earlier this year, so he's now an orphan with little family left. He doesn't have home-cooked meals EVER and so I took great pleasure in making those for him, even if they probably put me over my limit for the few days he was here.
That being said, I've been working to get back on track this week. I'd like to say I can continue not tracking my food and trusting myself to eat appropriate amounts of things, but with Thanksgiving coming I know I'll need to be careful. We'll be at a friend's house for the holiday next week and I am planning on truly enjoying it. I'm not going to stress about what I'm eating because A. It's one day and B. I only get to see her maybe once a year, and I'm not going to let my obsessing with food stress me out because.... I get sick when I'm that stressed. And C. I won't have the time to track all of that homemade goodness. So I'm just not going to worry about it.
Besides, I'm doing really well. I'm still consistently losing weight every time I go to the doctor's office, and that feels awesome. It was funny the last time I visited because there was a new nurse and she rushed through the weighing process. I had to ask her to redo it, because the number she gave me would have meant I'd lost 30 pounds in two weeks. Yeah... that's definitely not true, haha.
Anyways. I'm really looking forward to Thanksgiving. I get to make a pie, one of my many skills, and spend time with friends. It's going to be wonderful.
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
My body is in remission from... whatever was wrong with it. At least for now. I can't say that going gluten free helped, because I definitely didn't give up gluten 100% of the time. Perhaps it needed a temporary detox or something.
I am also feeling relaxed that I haven't tracked food in a few days. It doesn't mean I haven't been paying attention--I certainly have! But it's nice to know that when I'm too busy to track my food I can still keep myself accountable.
But that's all the time I have today! Going to be a busy couple of months.
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
I have officially begun my gluten free diet. I will start by saying... it is not fun.
I've done it before. In high school, when I was suddenly allergic to everything, I stopped eating gluten. It was horrible, and didn't last long, because there was basically nothing I could eat. I wasn't deathly allergic and so we gave up the diet.
It's even harder now because I'm paying for the stupid gluten free food myself. Typically we can spend $20 a week on groceries. This time, it was almost $40. $40!!
I am really hoping all this gluten free pasta and soup is actually tasty, and that I didn't just waste my money. There is another part of me that hopes going gluten free won't make me feel better, because going gluten-free permanently will seriously empty my bank account and just stress me out even more.
I did get to eat sushi for dinner, though. It's gluten-free, haha! Sushi = happy Katie. :)
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
So I went to the doctor yesterday, for this never-ending mystery sickness. She said she doesn't know what's wrong with me. She seemed irritated that I stopped eating vegetables, but I think if she were in my shoes... she'd do the same thing, at least most of the time.
I miss broccoli. And asparagus. I miss asking my husband to bring home huge boxes of vegetables from work, knowing I could eat my fill of them without making myself feel awful.
She also wants me to go gluten free for 2 weeks to see if that helps. I can assure you... it likely will not. Also, I can't exactly afford to buy tons of gluten free things right now. But I'll try anyways. I'll probably start next Sunday.
Anyways. Because she doesn't know what's wrong with me, I have to go see a specialist, and I'm not looking forward to that. More doctors. More tests. More hoping to get an answer. :/
But the good news is, I've lost 15 pounds in the last 2 months! I don't notice it yet, in my body. I don't feel like I've lost any. But whatever I'm doing, even if I can't do it as well as I'd like... it's working. And that feels awesome. :)
Saturday, October 11, 2014
It's Saturday! And we all know why Saturdays are awesome. I get to sleep in... and I get to relax when I eat. I have never appreciated this more, since going on this adventure into Mysterious Illness-ville. I've had my fill of low-sodium soup and crackers for the week. It's hard to enjoy food when almost everything makes me sick AND I have to limit calories and salt. I've said that a lot lately... but it really is aggravating.
The really nice thing about today is that I got to go out on a lunch date with my hubby. :) He works at The Cheesecake Factory, and got "top performer of the month" for September, which means a free meal for two. He brings food home all the time, but there's a limited employee meal menu. It's also been quite an adjustment since I started back at Spark People, because (in case you've never seen the nutrition facts for the Cheesecake Factory) there are very few things on the menu I can actually eat now. It used to not matter, so whatever he brought home we would split for dinner the next day (or sometimes breakfast, haha) but this is no longer the case. In fact, there are only about 5 things I can eat now without fulfilling all my calories for the day. Or the week. Typically he brings me salmon and veggies but today... today was special.
I ordered shrimp scampi, he ordered steak. There were other things on the menu I was eyeing, but because I'm still ridiculously sick I didn't want to eat anything that might upset my stomach. We also got an appetizer, and lemonades. We were maybe 25% into our meals when we both started feeling full. It was actually sort of awesome, because I knew in that moment my body had fully adjusted to a lower calorie intake. I no longer felt able to just eat everything front of me, I no longer even -wanted- to eat everything in front of me, because being THAT full is really unpleasant.
So we boxed up dinner and ordered dessert. Dessert was the same way--only a few bites in, and we were done. So we now have leftovers for miles, sitting in the fridge.
I feel accomplished, knowing that I didn't totally pig out and overdo it, but I also allowed myself to relax and enjoy the food, and was able to celebrate my husband's progress and accomplishments at work.
I also took the dog to a dog park yesterday. It's literally a ten minute walk from our apartment. We've lived here for 2 1/2 years and somehow we didn't know it was there. The dog had lots of fun running around freely, chasing the ball and sniffing other dogs. It was also nice to get some sunshine and exercise in, especially before it gets too cold out.
Two good things to end a difficult week. Now I'm going to snuggle up with the dog and a good book, and a few hours from now I'll enjoy some leftovers for dinner. :)
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