FLYFOREVER's Recent Blog Entries

Mirror Mirror on the wall, who am i kidding?

Saturday, May 07, 2011

I seem to have days when I look in the mirror and think "wow, I look SOOOO good!" and other days when I look and say "geez hunny, when's the baby due? next week?"

Sometimes I've just had a long depressing day or week, or i "cheated" and scarfed down a few too many cookies, or even i just don't feel pretty (like in the picture above right after a day of the pool and running.) And even though I try not to be down on myself I can't help but feel...well, fat and ugly and just grossed out.

And then there are days I've not eaten horribly or I'm wearing an outfit I like (and lets face it, my favorite jeans are my favorite for a reason). The real difference in how I feel is diffinately my mirror.

So what can you do to fight the mirror blues? A few tricks:

*write a feel-good phrase on the mirror, and change it every other day or two*
When I feel run-down or overweight and i look in the mirror it's flat-out depressing. So I combat this by writing a phrase on the mirror so that everytime I look in the mirror I have to read "you're beautiful" or "you are looking at a champion" I've even put the word "waffles" on my mirror before because my best friend is always saying no one can be sad when thinking about waffles. I've put jokes and punchlines on my mirror before too. Anything ionspiring or funny will help. (write in dry erase marker)
The reason you should change it every few days is so it doesn't lose it's punch. if someone told you the same joke over and over again when you are sad, would it still work? Typically I have around 15 saying to put on my mirror, and switch them every 2-4 days.

This tip I'm not so fond of but I do it: I've saved pictures from obesity brochures and websites and when I feel down on myself I look at them and tell myself It could be worse. I also saved pictures from when I weighed more than I do now and hung them on my mirror with the quote: You've come so far.

My favorite thing to do, is avoid them. If I have an outfit on that I've worn several hundred other times, do I really need to look in the mirror and check on it? Nope, so I don't. I've put my full length mirror in the closet and taped newspaper over my bathroom mirror before. If you dont like looking in the mirror, then don't. If that is what makes you feel crappy then don't do it. Since I feel fine with myself before I look in the mirror, I don't look in them very often.

So mirror, mirror on the wall, whose the smartest of them all?

*comment if you read it, I really like the feedback*



It's time to STAND up to dieting

Monday, May 02, 2011

I'm sure you're wondering why all those chairs are sideways and in a pile.'s because I would set them on fire if they were mine, and not my mothers. Do you realize how much you sit down? Think about all the time you spend driving, eating, at a desk, watching TV, reading, typing, even just logging into your sparkpeople account, it adds up, trust me. But what does it add up too? Well...heart attacks, strokes, WEIGHT GAIN, fat stored around your middle and...depression, which of course leads to MM (mindless munching, please refer to my other blogs: attack of the mindless munching)

In lame mens terms: sitting causes your body not to produce certain chemicals that it does while standing. And the scary part it, it can lead to heart failure. What good is being skinny, if you're dead?

So I took all my chairs away, i turned the stools upside down (i use them as towel racks now) i took my desk chair completely out of my room and put my desk on the opposite side of the room as my bed, i spend a lot of time here due to school and other obligations. Now I have to stand up to be on my computer. And the extra bonus? Standing burns OVER 60 EXTRA calories an hour over sitting. so that extra cookie you snuck into your lunch today, or that bite of cake you took when no one was watching, doesn't smash your diet like a hand grenade.

I'm only 18, i go to school full time (where i have to SIT all day), i babysit, i go to the gym, i live in my mother's house and I plan on keeping up with a bunch of other things. Not only that, but I'm recovering from a sprained knee, so I know standing hurts after a while. but even when my knee throbbed i managed this 1 simple thing. i made it where I have to stand for most of my day and I actually do feel a lot better (I suffer from stress a lot.) If I can do this, so can you. :)

****REMEMBER: if you read this, leave a comment, say whether or not you like it, if it helped, anything you want to change or add. I'll write more as long as I know people are reading it. ****



Its not always HOW sometimes its WHY so be selfish

Friday, January 07, 2011

Its the end of day 7 on my "spark journey." Over the course of the week I have heard inspiring stories, heartbreaking stories, stories of failure, of success, of giving up, of holding on and of blood, sweat and tears pouring from the very hearts and souls of some members. And I noticed a trend....

The people who are trying to lose weight for themselves, are certainly struggling less. The people who are here because someone doesnt accept them the way they are, are struggling to carry a load much heavier than some extra stored food. The rewards for the first group of people include confidence, self respect, self gratification and usually something they have wanted for a while (new shoes, new jeans, ect.)
The rewards for the second group only come as a bag of empty shells. The people who tell them to lose weight ask for more pounds to be shed, more hours put into fitness or less food to be eaten, they are led on by hope and thought of love, not the reality of it, they are led on by words as empty as the persons heart who feeds it to them, and instead of self gratification and the feel-goods of working toward a healthier being, they are left to wallow in the neglectful, uncaring hands of people who should lift them up the most.

So, if you want to lose weight, and be healthier, its YOUR body, its YOUR life. be selfish, you should do it for YOU

I tell you this as an observation, and as hopefully a message: this site is called SparkPeople, i believe its more than a name, we look to each other to lean on, and fall on sometimes, in this walk for our own better healthy selves, but when you are carrying your spark, dont forget to help light or relight someone elses. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Welcome to Sparkpeople! I totally agree with you on your blog. I was married for 11 years to a man that watched everything I put in my mouth, pushed me to exercise everyday,etc. When I got pregnant he told me it wasn't an excuse to gain weight. Back then at 27 and weighing 150lbs, I was miserable. Now today at 44, I am re-married and my husband loves me for ME!! If I never lost a pound or gained he would still love me. I have shed 32 lbs since September, WHY?? Because I am doing it for me! I want to be healthier and I feel GREAT about my new lifestyle. My husband cooks for me and the family according to what we decide together something healthy, that fits into my plan for the day. I feel so blessed to have my health and to be able to recognize that being healthy is more important to me today than it was when I was told what to eat and when to exercise!
Thanks for posting the blog, sometimes people are to scared to tell the people in their lives it's about Me not you!
Lots of things going through my mind right now remembering the past, but that is in the past!!!!

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FLYFOREVER 1/8/2011 1:09AM

    Thank you guys very much :) comments make me want to write more blogs :)
sorry this one was shorter than the other two I have written, I just didnt feel like it needed to be longer.

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CAMILLEMANS 1/8/2011 12:15AM

    Good point, I'm sure it's given a lot of us something to think about.

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    That was very well written -- good point!

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A Magic Marker in a Pencil World

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Ok it is day 5 on my "spark" and today made a few of my sparks fizzle out, not for good, but enough to make me realize something: I HAVE TO ACCEPT ME! Im a pretty confident person, im happy in my own skin and, to be honest, I didnt start this "spark" to lose weight, although it is PART of my goal.
Today started normally, i got up and went to school (had to eat there today), went to my classes...until 4th period (we have 8, but i dont have a lunch because i want to honor grad. So i eat in my classes) I had water, a pork rib and green beans and was doing work when I noticed several other girls talking, eating and drinking. They had cookies, chips, soda (some diet, some not) and snack cakes...normally I would long for the sweetness of the junkfood they had, but this time all i noticed was the fact that these were the skinny, preppy, (lets face it: snobby) girls. I sat there with my healthy meal and wondered: why an I "over weight" when these girls eat that stuff all the time and still wear size 0 jeans?
Right now you are probably thinking that this is where I broke down and cried to myself that I am not the same as them, and how high school isnt fair and how I wish I could eat that and stay "skinny". Yes, I was thinking that for a few minutes and then I realized something else, Im not them. This was a scenario I have lived with all my life, and what has led me to be a depression eater among other things. But for the first time I didnt break down or get down on myself.
When I started this several days ago, It asked me to plan ahead for obstacles that I may face, and I knew this one would happen. So I prepared. I am not the only who suffers from Im Not Like Everyone Else (INLEE) I hear girls all the time (and some guys) say how they wish they had that girls hips, butt, thighs, arms, ect. How sad is it that we are down on ourselves because we arent the same? Isnt that what makes us special? Yes.
So, how did I prepare for a situation that has beaten me my entire 18 years of life? It wasnt that hard, I just had to ask myself one question: How can I be down on MY body, after all it does for ME? Its like asking to borrow a dollar, someone handing you a 100 dollar bill and you saying: "thats all?" My body does so much for me, it allows me to move, go places, see things i couldnt see if I was paralyzed, think, eat, taste amazing foods, smell flowers and salty breezes, hear the birds calling, the wind rushing past, to feel water, to swim, run, bike, camp, use this computer. Why can I not just be happy with it? I think I owe it that.

I know weight is a big part of the goals on this site, but you have to want it for the right reasons, are you losing weight so that you'll be happy with yourself? Or losing weight so you are healthier? If its the latter you're fine, if its the first, you may want to rethink your goals. What I have done before is tell myself that if I lose 10 pounds Ill be happy just the way I am, then once I shed those 10 pounds, it was if I can lose just 10 more pounds and on and on. I was never happy. I felt guilty for the food i DID consume and my body didnt function well.

You also have to be realistic, I will NEVER wear shirts in smalls, or jeans smaller than an 8, and thats not negativity, its realistic goal setting, my hip bones will not allow my jeans to go that low, my D cups, wont allow me to wear smalls, and that is something I had to accept, I can be "thin" and healthy without being small or tiny. I found this quote and it has stuck with me for years: Why would I want to be a skinny pencil, when Im happy being a magic marker?

overall message: love yourself and cherish your body, dont let "people who arent like you" mandate what you think about yourslef

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JCHRISTE65 1/5/2011 12:52PM

    I totally agree with you. I love your analogy about the borrowing a dollar and not being satisfied w/$100.00. I wrote that quote down and will use it as my mantra for the week.

You are an excellent writer. Something the size 0 snobby girls probably aren't!

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The Attack of the Mindless Munchin

Saturday, January 01, 2011

Welcome to the new year first off, it's the time of year where everyone looks in the mirror and only sees all the crap they ate over the holidays, and i mean it. I am one of those people, and its hard to accept that i now weigh over 180 when a month ago i was 160. My problem wasnt eating too much on thanksgiving and christmas eve and christmas though, far from it. my biggest problem is the Mindless Munching all the days in between, plus those 3 days of too much meat, too much pie and too many potatos.
If you stick around my page, you will notice that mindless munching (MM) will be mentioned all the time, and most people dont know what it is. Its also known as movie eating, like when you go to a theatre and eat popcorn while you zone into the movie, and before you know it you ate the whole bag of salted and double buttered goodness....Im guilty of this ALL THE TIME! I do it when watching TV, or on my computer, or reading and even at school, (Im a senior in high school) So this year my resolution isnt to lose weight, that will come on its own, but rather to stop mindlessly munching when I am not actually hungry, I know I'm not the only one who has struggled, and I know I wont be the last, but here's to a new year and new tips. :)

The first thing I can say about MM is that it is very very VERY hard to stop, its not as if you can just stop eating and TA-DA youve fixed it. Food is a need, not a want. However, you can quit, with small steps in the right direction, eventually you WILL reach your destination. So over the course of this blog I will try to share tips that work (for me) I hope they help you as well, feel free to message me any tips you come up with (along with whether or not you want your name in the Blog)

I think the first thing to do to tackle MM is put up visuals, i prefer questions. My fridge, freezer and all my cabinets with food have signs that ask: ARE YOU ACTUALLY HUNGRY? It may seem stupid, but I walk into my kitchen for food when I am lonely, bored, upset or stressed, the signs make me question my true situation: Do I want to eat because I am hungry, or because something is wrong? Usually its the latter.
Its not only targeting where the food is, but also where you eat it. My portable DVD player, and favorite MM spot, has a sign that asks if I am actually hungry, my computer has a HUGE index card (that you'll see) that reads I'm a COMPUTER, NOT a dinner table.

After you have accomplished the VISUAL reminders, now it's the hard part: STOP grabbing the BAG of chips, do I expect you to stop eating junk all together? No, (I cant do it either, dont feel guilty) but if you really want chips, pull out a servings worth (ok sometimes i go for two) and put it in a bowl, then put the BAG away. this goes for ANY food, when you MM, you eat more than you wanted, way more than you needed and are left with way more guilt than you want to feel.

Last tip for today: EAT AT THE TABLE, not the desk, not the car, not in bed with ben and jerrys (although lets face it, B&Js is the only guy we want in our bed when we are upset) and most importantly NOT IN FRONT OF THE TV! You eat almost twice as much when watching TV or when you are distracted by something besides eating. I know sitting (for me its alone in an empty house most of the time) at a table with nothing to do but eat sounds boring, but in reality, if you are going to eat (and count all those calories) shouldnt you at least taste and enjoy what you eat? I am new at this "dieting" thing, and I can tell you firsthand that after a few hours of not eating (or MMing) if you give me a meal, i will enjoy and savor and cherish every bite of it. And not only do you eat less, enjoy the food, but you get to spend time with your family, or if you are alone when you eat, like myself, then you can think about how you are doing on your goals and maybe things you could change, and soak in the silience if you can get any, it helps calm you down, so you dont eat from stress later.

Until next time, good luck on your battle with MM, I am right beside you in this....
*hides fork behind back and smiles*

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SNOW1589 5/6/2011 9:26PM

    Thanks for sending me the link to your blog! This made my day and lets me know im not alone in the mindless eating! im gana continue to read your blog and im gana try the tips you mentioned! Thanks so much!

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    I loved your blog ! I think at one time or another we had suffered or still do from MM . It so easy to grab a pop or bag of chips and seat down to your favorite movie or show . Good for you .

PS I love your photos of the motivational signs . Very creative .

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FLYFOREVER 1/2/2011 5:54PM

    life made me grow up fast i guess? and thank you very much, comments like yours make me want to write more :)

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PAMMY520 1/2/2011 4:15PM

    how did you become so smart for being one so young? thank you for your words of wisdom...advice & insight...i too MM mostly at night while sitting in front of the TV or studying for school...i'm going to try & practice some of the tips you've suggested...good luck to you & i look forward to reading more of your blogs

Comment edited on: 1/2/2011 4:21:32 PM

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THEREALDINANE 1/1/2011 10:10PM

    What a great goal! Mindless munching is so hard to tame, but you are prepared. emoticon

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