Monday, April 14, 2008
"If we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything, is ready, we shall never begin," is today's SP healthy reflections quote. The universe must revolve around me because readiness is an issue I have been struggling with. Am I ready to do my upcoming TKD test? Am I mentally/physically ready to compete again (or ever)? Is my family ready to support me again when TKD has been such a stressor in the past? I think I am not ready--but I am going to do it anyway. Giving up is harder for me than trying. If I fail or do poorly or am not perfect or lose my composure, will the sky fall and the world come to an end? No. I am not the center of the universe. Worrying about failure and being perfect will only hold me back. Maybe I can learn that all experiences, fun or painful, are to be savored and felt fully--maybe that is the lesson. Maybe I need a new set of "rules."
Monday, April 07, 2008
In addition to getting beat up for fun, I also practice yoga. In the "yin" yoga practice I do, the asanas are held for 5 minutes, so during that time, the instructor usually gives the class some mental guidance. I have studied with the same teacher now since last year, and she is amazing. Last Summer, I had some difficulties, and she talked about R.A.I.N. as our topic of meditation (Recognition, Acceptance, Investigation, and Non-Identification). "Acceptance is not passive," my signature, is derived from this topic. Yesterday at practice, she revisited this same idea, and it was familiar, but I heard it from a new perspective. The part that struck me upon hearing it this time was about denial and observing the way things are in ones life without aversion. It is hard to look at the realities in life that are less than ideal without dislike, but somehow it all works together in sync...Anyway, just thought I would share. I love experiencing the mind/body connection this instructor provides, and feel lucky to have her influence.
Monday, April 07, 2008
video from the tkd olympic qualifier this past weekend. not me--but what i do for "fun"
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
so a lot of you know (ok probably everyone since i blog ALL THE TIME-haha) i do taekwondo. even though i tested and passed, i had not expected that i would get the official paperwork for my 2nd degree black belt because i left my old school before they had asked me to submit my payment, etc. etc. it was just kind of one of those things...
anyway, i have been trying really hard to pace myself getting back into training w/o going overboard, but the master at the new school wants to test me with the other black belts in a little over a month on 4/26 so he can get the paperwork aspect of things taken care of. it also demonstrates to the other students that i deserve the rank i hold, and is the appropriate thing for me to do joining a new school at a higher rank.
i am not too worried about the physical fitness aspect of the testing, but there is some catching up to do, forms to re-learn, and it just seems like it would put me closer to the "going overboard" aspect of training again. i really damaged my health last year by overtraining--pictures from last year look pretty scary/anorexic--so i am concerned about taking all of this on. (i am the type of person who needs to do something perfectly if i am going to do it) on the other hand, i am only a 2nd dan by the embroidery on my belt, and it would be nice to legitimize my rank. i do plan to continue my tkd to the highest level that i can achieve.
i think my attitude toward the process will be the deciding factor. if i can handle the work w/o being overly stressed, then so be it. if it is too stressful, i will just have to tread gently and ask my new instructor to wait for me to have enough time to be ready. i am in no rush to push ahead-- maybe i will just be a white belt again :)
or take up badminton...
Monday, March 17, 2008
being back in tkd is not w/o its benefits--i have the FUNNIEST bruise, ahem, "down there." dh noticed it when i was dressing--1 entire cheek is just purple as can be. here's the bonus: going to the salon for the pre-vacay bikini wax...wonder what they will say? man that is gonna hurt both body and pride!
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