FLUTTERBY4JC   46,125
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I AM DONE!!!!

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

I am done! I have finally come to the realization that diets DON'T work long term. I have been at the same weight for over a year! I have worked out hard, I have been strict with my eating and then get "off track". I can throw my weight back and forth by 10 pounds. I am tired of feeling disappointed that the scale didn't show me that I have been working hard and then in turn thinking I am a failure somehow! I can be really, really good and get my weight down then go back to eating "normal" and my weight shoots right back up! I am always trying to figure out if I am eating enough, eating too much, eating the correct amounts of everything or if I am doing the right exercises! I AM DONE!!!
I also was thinking about how my boys view me, on a diet all the time. Is that really the memory I want to leave them! NO!!! I want them to remember the fun times we have had, not that mom couldn't eat that, we couldn't go there because mom couldn't be strong enough to stay away from the forbidden foods! Life is about so much more than food and what I should or shouldn't be eating!
So I got online and did some research on how to stop this craziness. I found some information about intuitive eating and that lead me to a really good book called Thin Side Out by Josie Spinardi. Her book described what I have been doing for while now completely. I learned so much about why I do the things I do regarding eating and being on this dieting hamster wheel. Everything she wrote made sense to me in a way that opened my eyes completely. Eating when you are hungry, stopping when you are full, learning to listen to what your body is asking for, not having limitations, and letting go of perfection!
Now that isnt saying that I am not still on the quest to be healthy because I DO want to be healthy so that I can live and long and happy life with my family! I just am getting off the diet merry go round. I want to get back to listening to MY bodies cues of hunger and fullness! I have done it before when I was pregnant (because it was acceptable to not be in a diet) and I liked how it made me feel to eat what MY body was asking for, not what someone was telling me what I should be eating! I am learning to trust my body to ask for what it is needing to work correctly!
I feel so much freedom with this decision! I can eat WHATEVER I want! NOTHING is off limits! I feel like a whole new world has opened up to me! So yes, I have been eating some of those foods that I have denied myself for so long. One thing was a croissant , but in learning to listen to my body, I found that it gives me heartburn as I am eating it so that will not be something I feel that I will eat again soon, unless of course my body asks for it, which I am doubtful will happen. Another thing I learned was to pay attention to when the flavors of the food are strong and delicious and when they start losing their strong flavor. I learned that is the bodies way of saying its had enough so the flavor is no longer enticing. I was so surprised to experience this when I stopped and did this and sure enough found that I was full. I am keeping a food journal still, but I am also journaling how I am feeling when I am making the choice to eat.
I am enjoying learning all these new things, that to kids and skinny people, come naturally! I feel that this will eventually be a normal part of my life! I know its going to take a bit to get the diet mentality out of my head and replace them with natural healthy thoughts about food and myself, but I believe that I will get there! I am on this journey for WHOLE health and healing and I believe this new tool is going to be life changing!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NBARNES 11/26/2014 3:41PM

    You're so right - the journey we're all on is a lifestyle, and not a diet. I realized that a few years ago and have spent my time learning to embrace veggies, fruits and that hungry . feeling between meals. I actually love feeling hungry because when that happens I know I'm listening to my body and doing things right. No, I'm not where I want to be (10 pounds thinner) but I'm so much happier fitting into those medium sizes. I've been this size (instead of those larges being too tight) for more than two years because I've been able to see this as a lifestyle change instead of a diet.

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GIGALENA 11/22/2014 8:06AM

    That is wonderful that you are learning what your body said. Most of us can not do that yet. Including me. I will try and be more mindful of my body. Thanks.

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MORTICIAADDAMS 11/19/2014 1:02PM

    I agree about most of what you had to say. I came to a similar view a while back in that intuitive eating is important. I decided to return to the way I ate when I was thin and healthy and it was not necessarily what we are told is the correct way to eat. I don't force myself to eat breakfast any more as it doesn't benefit me. I don't force myself to eat so called healthy foods I don't like. I don't allow myself to succumb to the thinking though that my body is telling me things like, "Eat the doughnuts, you know you want them." Some foods make me sick even using portion control. And I keep in mind that my body doesn't necessarily crave healthy foods. While calories in and calories out still works I do need vitamins, minerals., and nutrients. Junk food is high in calories and low in in those. So I use both intuitive eating and still avoid obvious foods that will wreck my efforts at good health.

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NANBENT1963 11/19/2014 8:44AM

    What an awesome realization! emoticon I also eat the things I love but in moderation...if not then I just binge so I found out that if i have the one or two and stop I can stay focused and on track. I still weigh in on Wednesday but just don't beat myself up over what the scale says. I look at where I am now and where I was almost a year ago when I started Sparking and am very happy with the results. I still make myself do exercises I don't like just to keep moving but am finding there are fewer and fewer that I don't like emoticon Hoping to see you around during the Winter Freeze Off challenge!
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EBPOOKIE 11/19/2014 1:42AM

    Body Trust and Joyful Movement and you will do great! STAY AWAY FROM THE SCALE! emoticon emoticon

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MRS.O14 11/18/2014 7:01PM

    Way to take back your power Trish!!! You are gonna rock this!!

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STORMWATCHER3 11/18/2014 5:43PM

    emoticon emoticon

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Reflection

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

I have accomplished so much in this last year and I do see the success that I have had even if the scale isn't moving down like I would like it to. I have been hovering around 200 now for the last 6 months and I am happy that I have not allowed myself to just give up and watch my weight come back.
I have maintained.
I have a "magic" number that I feel that I should be getting to and by maintaining I am not getting there.
But it feels like I have been in an uphill battle since I finally hit under 200. I was happy and excited that I hit a weight that I hadn't seen since I was a senior in high school. But then my weight loss stopped. No matter how good I eat or how much I exercise it feels like I am not making any progress. I have not given up all together but I do feel how I am not giving it my all anymore and haven't quite figured out how to get back to it 100%.

I am proud of what I have done in this last year which is more than I thought I ever would be able to. I have run a 5K and gotten my personal best pace, I have run a 10K without walking any part of it, I have climbed partly up Mt. Hood and it felt great, I have kept up with my kids and even passed them and having them ask me to slow down....lol

Giving up doesn't feel like an option anymore, so to me that is great progress. So all in all, even though the scale isn't showing what I think it should be showing, I feel that so far its been a great year!
I am looking forward to the remainder of the year being just as great!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BALANCEDLIFENOW 9/21/2013 9:27AM

    emoticon GO PINKIES! emoticon Spark it up this week! You have come a long way..... love that bit about, "giving up is not an option". Way to go!

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MORTICIAADDAMS 9/19/2013 2:25PM

    You are doing wonderful!! This nonscale victories are fantastic and the scale is going to eventually start moving again soon. Keep up the good work! Victory is in sight!

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EBPOOKIE 9/19/2013 1:10AM

    Listen up girly - you can and will get past this it took Krista months of losing ounces just ounces but she got to goal and what she learned though that time was patience and learned to maintain her weight ask her anytime how hard it was and she will tell you the same thing that you just reflected on that you NEVER EVER GIVE UP -- you are no quitter you are a winner you are so much more! You inspire greatness from others!! you are leading and showing and sharing others how to do things you have leanred. You will get to your goal, maybe slower then once thought but challenge yourself to something you never thought you coldn't do before. you are in so much better shape. I inspire to be able to run a full 5k and to woggle the half in december by doing 1/4 mile to a 1/3 mile runs and 3/4 to 2/3 walking the whole way. my training for the holiday will begin next week a few days after my half i challenge you to start training for the vernonia half in the spring and hoping i can woggle more of it and see you at the end!!!!! you are a CHAMPION!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon time to train for a half emoticon

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NBARNES 9/18/2013 4:00PM

    You've never lost the battle until you give up - so HANG IN THERE! Glad that giving up isn't an option for you, that IS a huge step forward. We're behind you 100%

Take care...and take care of yourself because you're worth it!

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ROBBIEY 9/18/2013 2:49PM

  Keep Moving Forward!!!

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Obstacles

Wednesday, April 03, 2013



Obstacles will ALWAYS be there. I am in a good routine of exercise and eating right and that has felt really good! Then BAM......emotional stuff with family comes up and since I am an emotional eater, my first instinct usually is to eat my way through the emotions......I am VERY happy to say...NOT THIS TIME!!!!
I cleaned, I talked and I prayed through the issue. Unfortunately, the issue is still not resolved and I will have to ride through it, but I am prepared to say ALOT of prayers through it and find other outlets to work through my emotions.
I am finding the older that I am getting, the less tolerant I am getting with people and maybe that is one thing that is helping me to not eat through the emotions this time. I see the gossip and lies as petty and immature. I want to just get away from the drama instead of allowing myself to be a part of it. The hardest part is when it is family, how do you remove yourself from it.
I am pretty proud of myself that I have found a strength in myself to not allow my emotions to take over and not to punish myself with eating! It feels good!
This too shall pass and I will become a stronger person because of it!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MORTICIAADDAMS 4/4/2013 5:45PM

    I can totally relate to how you feel. We can't afford to let stress derail us and I get plenty of it. I also prefer to avoid drama and have a nice peaceful life. I am to the point where I insist that my family doesn't give me grief. Family illness is enough to deal with. The rest is unacceptable. I'm sending a prayer for you.

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NBARNES 4/3/2013 9:18PM

    You're definitely making moves the right direction. Keep plugging away on those good habits, keeping to the plan during those times of stress is a true sign that you're on your way!

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SEWINGMAMACDS 4/3/2013 11:59AM

    emoticon

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SUGARSMOM2 4/3/2013 10:10AM

  emoticon m emoticon m emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LITTLERLINDA 4/3/2013 9:16AM

    Way to go! I am an emotional eater as well. It is just too easy to stuff food in and stuff down emotions and stress that I don't want to deal with. Blessings to you for actively praying about the situation and those involved. You have taken an amazing step! Keep going!
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MBEHNKEN 4/3/2013 9:12AM

    emoticon

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LOSE4LIFE47 4/3/2013 9:10AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Another month goes by......

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Not much has changed in the last month.
I am back to running every other day. I will be doing a 5K with a friend in a couple of weeks. And I am actually in "training" now for a 10K at the end of May. We are on week 8 of the couch to 5K and then we will start the 5K to 10K program. We are swimming as our cross training and I want to start biking too. I am feeling good about the amount of exercise that I am getting.
My eating has been pretty good. Not 100% like I would like but I am back on track as a friend and I have a reward set in place to work towards now and that seems to always help me keep focused.
The scale seems to want to keep messing with my head. Its fluctuating within 2-4 pounds but isn't consistently going into Onederland like I would like and stay there. I keep teetering in and out of onederland!!! But I am feeling good that I am getting to see it more often and I know its just a matter of time before I will be there and stay there :0)
All in all life has been good! There is the normal things that go on like financial issues, cars breaking down, kids misbehaving but it seems like when I have my life in order and my thoughts in a good place, those things don't get to me like they usually do!
Feels good to be on track!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MORTICIAADDAMS 3/26/2013 10:02PM

    Sounds like you are really nailing the exercise. Good job!!

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STLADEE 3/26/2013 3:24PM

    Well things sound great! Well with the exception of the flucuation 2-4lbs. Now ikf you can figure what's up with that I would say things are going darn well copasetic!

Look at you! almost done with the C25k and gonna start on the 10k training! Go woman! You are on it! Life does happen and looks like the normal things have been happening for you.
emoticon and you will be in ONDERLAND permanantly!

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JOYFUL78 3/26/2013 3:22PM

    what a wonderfullllllllllllllll post and you are right.... life is good and things dont bother us that much.


I am soooooooooo PROUD of you!!!!

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NBARNES 3/26/2013 2:48PM

    Wowza - sounds terrific to me girl! Good for you for taking on a 10K!

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SEWINGMAMACDS 3/26/2013 12:33PM

    emoticon

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Where has the time gone......

Monday, February 25, 2013

I can hardly believe that its almost March!
I have been working dilegently towards my goals, unfortunatly my weight hasn't seemed to want to move much lately. I know that I am doing things correctly and I take solace in the fact that I know my body is changing and I am getting stronger. And I see growth in me because the old me would have given up by now and said it wasn't worth the hard work. The new me is saying, just stick with it you will see the results you are looking for soon.
The hardest part sometimes, is being in a weight loss group like TOPS, the scale is how things are measured whether you are doing good or not. I am learning to not let the scale define how well I am doing. I am now looking at my healthy eating, my exercise and my water consumption as whether or not I am doing good.
Right now I have been doing Jillian Michael's 30 day shred dvd. Its a hard workout, but I am loving how it is making me feel. Just in 3 days, I feel like I can feel my body changing and gaining muscle. And the first day I thought I was going to die, but each day it has been getting a little easier.
Other news of my life.......
My son is looking to sign up with the Airforce this week. He goes to do his testing this week and then decides if he will sign up. He won't leave for bootcamp until after he graduates high school and actually we are hoping he doesn't leave until September so we can have the summer with him.
And today we have a French exchange student coming to stay with us for 3 weeks. We have hosted MANY Japanese students, but this will be our first French student. He will be shadowing my son at school during the day.

All in all, been a good year so far. I am looking forward to what the rest of the year has to offer.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SEWINGMAMACDS 2/26/2013 12:52PM

    I quit my TOPS group after 10 years being with them. It became more of a social club than a weight loss group. Plus, it added stress and not so good eating habits because I would eat crazy the day after TOPS and not eat at all on the day of TOPS. Plus, I had only lost 10 lbs in the 10 years I was with them. Not a good record.

I love SP though!

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MORTICIAADDAMS 2/25/2013 9:03PM

    It sounds like you are making a good effort and eventually you will be rewarded.

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NBARNES 2/25/2013 5:16PM

    Good for you, don' let that darn scale define you, perhaps look to it for some guidance, but not definition!

Glad you're sticking with it and its good to see you in the next BL challenge! It's been tough going for many of us, but I like you, am determined to make this work!

Hang in there girl - you're in good company! emoticon

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CARLENLLOYD 2/25/2013 12:12PM

    I love SP, don't you? :)

Way to go in keeping up the motivation. It is not easy, but it can be done. Hugs!

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