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FLOWERDALEJEWEL's Recent Blog Entries

A Crow Walks Into A Bar.....

Saturday, May 18, 2013




A crow walks into a bar wearing a pearl necklace. He orders a drink.

"I've never seen a crow wearing a pearl necklace before", says the barkeep.

"What do you expect with basic black?", says the crow.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LJOYCE55 5/19/2013 9:17PM

  emoticon

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MODERNELF 5/19/2013 4:20PM

    emoticon

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_CYNDY55_ 5/19/2013 2:04AM

    emoticon A Cool Crow!!

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SUGARBABY60 5/19/2013 2:00AM

    Looks like the crow will have to wear open toe shoes too!

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ARTJAC 5/19/2013 1:06AM

    emoticon

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KAYDE53 5/18/2013 9:37PM

    crow with great fashion sense! emoticon

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BARCLE 5/18/2013 7:36PM

    emoticon

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PDSLIM 5/18/2013 5:56PM

    emoticon

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LODESTONE 5/18/2013 4:10PM

    Crow has excellent taste!

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JEANNETTE59 5/18/2013 3:30PM

  emoticon pearls of course! emoticon

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MARYANN2323 5/18/2013 3:09PM

    Caw, Caw

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RASPBERRY56 5/18/2013 12:59PM

    emoticon

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TEXASFILLY 5/18/2013 12:45PM

    emoticon

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HELEN_BRU 5/18/2013 12:17PM

    Cute! emoticon emoticon

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MILLISMA 5/18/2013 9:56AM

    Ha, ha...very fancy crow!!!

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CATIATM 5/18/2013 9:30AM

    Seriously! What other answer could he have expected? emoticon

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SHARJOPAUL 5/18/2013 9:21AM

    emoticon

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OLDERDANDRT 5/18/2013 9:06AM

    How mah-velous, dah-ling!!! emoticon

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TIME4COFFEE 5/18/2013 8:57AM

    That crow be stylin'!!

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GLUECIPHER 5/18/2013 8:53AM

    emoticon

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0309COOKIE 5/18/2013 8:17AM

    Lol.


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JANET552 5/18/2013 7:48AM

    Funny!! Love that picture too.

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DESERTDREAMERS 5/18/2013 7:46AM

    ouch!

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PAMBWS 5/18/2013 7:34AM

    emoticon

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PRINCHESSA 5/18/2013 7:20AM

    emoticon

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PCOH051610 5/18/2013 7:06AM

    Hilarious!

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ROX525 5/18/2013 6:55AM

    lol

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SPARKCHANTAL 5/18/2013 6:46AM

    a duck walks into a pharmacy and asks for lip salve.
cash or credit?
just put it on my bill.

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GIA_ROSY 5/18/2013 6:31AM

    DUH..... emoticon

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GOANNA2 5/18/2013 6:25AM

    Priceless. emoticon

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WEARINGTHIN 5/18/2013 6:20AM

    Did you make that up? (to match your picture). Glenn

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The Three Priests

Friday, May 17, 2013



There were three priests in a railroad station, all wanting to go home to Pittsburgh. Behind the ticket counter was a very, very shapely lass, well endowed, gorgeous, amazing woman. The priests were all in embarrassing new territory, so they drew straws to determine who would get the tickets.

The first priest approached the window. “Young lady,” he began, “I would like three pickets to titsburg.” Whereupon he completely lost his composure and fled.

The second priest approached. “Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburgh,” he began, “and I would like the change in nipples and dimes.” So, of course, he also fled.

Then came the third. “Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburgh, and I would like the change in nickels and dimes. And I must say,” he continued, “if you insist on dressing like that when you get to the pearly gates, St. Finger’s going to shake his peter at you.”




  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LINDAKAY228 5/19/2013 6:42PM

    ROFLMAO!!

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CGMLH01 5/18/2013 12:07PM

    emoticon

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SHARJOPAUL 5/18/2013 10:14AM

    LOL

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DESERTDREAMERS 5/18/2013 7:47AM

    whoops!

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ARTJAC 5/18/2013 3:53AM

    emoticon

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CHERIRIDDELL 5/18/2013 12:42AM

    LOL!

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KAYDE53 5/18/2013 12:06AM

    emoticon emoticon

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TEXASFILLY 5/17/2013 9:14PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MARYANN2323 5/17/2013 12:41PM

    Good one!

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OLDERDANDRT 5/17/2013 11:29AM

    emoticon ROFLMAO!!! emoticon

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JEANNETTE59 5/17/2013 11:13AM

  emoticon love it!

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HELEN_BRU 5/17/2013 9:55AM

    Too funny! New one for me!!

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LJOYCE55 5/17/2013 9:52AM

  emoticon

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MILLISMA 5/17/2013 9:08AM

    emoticon emoticon oldie but goodie!!!

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LODESTONE 5/17/2013 8:49AM

    Hilarious!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PRINCHESSA 5/17/2013 8:33AM

    emoticon emoticon

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TIME4COFFEE 5/17/2013 8:20AM

    Well!

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GARDENCHRIS 5/17/2013 7:31AM

    emoticon

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PAMBWS 5/17/2013 7:19AM

    Another good start to the day!

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SUGARBABY60 5/17/2013 7:09AM

    Oh dear! Makes my knee caps hard just reading about this!

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JANET552 5/17/2013 6:45AM

    emoticon

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GIA_ROSY 5/17/2013 5:49AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ROX525 5/17/2013 5:40AM

    Hahahaha...

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IMEMINE1 5/17/2013 5:27AM

    emoticon

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MARYJOANNA 5/17/2013 5:20AM

  Hysterical!

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GOANNA2 5/17/2013 5:06AM

    OMG! emoticon

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Bird Flu

Wednesday, May 15, 2013




The Center for Disease Control has released a list of symptoms of bird flu. If you experience any of the following, please seek medical treatment immediately:

1. High fever
2. Congestion
3. Nausea
4. Fatigue
5. Aching in the joints
6. An irresistible urge to crap on someone's windshield.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEXASFILLY 5/18/2013 12:45PM

    emoticon

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PCOH051610 5/18/2013 7:07AM

    Somedays I'd love to be that bird!

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IMEMINE1 5/17/2013 5:30AM

    emoticon

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WINE4GIRL 5/16/2013 9:03AM

    i was with you till you got to "windshield"...
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DESERTDREAMERS 5/16/2013 7:15AM

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ROX525 5/16/2013 5:42AM

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ARTJAC 5/15/2013 11:44PM

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_CYNDY55_ 5/15/2013 11:43PM

    emoticon emoticon
emoticon emoticon

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HIKETOHEIGHTS 5/15/2013 10:33PM

    Big lol, more like rotflmao

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PAMBWS 5/15/2013 5:54PM

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GOOZLEBEAR 5/15/2013 3:55PM

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MARYANN2323 5/15/2013 3:55PM

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MILLISMA 5/15/2013 3:44PM

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KAYDE53 5/15/2013 3:00PM

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JEANNETTE59 5/15/2013 12:13PM

  Go many choices emoticon

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TIME4COFFEE 5/15/2013 10:17AM

    I think a bird with a good case of it already found my windshield...

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LJOYCE55 5/15/2013 9:08AM

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OLDERDANDRT 5/15/2013 9:04AM

    emoticon emoticon

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GOANNA2 5/15/2013 9:03AM

    Ha, got me! emoticon

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HELEN_BRU 5/15/2013 8:56AM

    You fooled me too! emoticon

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LODESTONE 5/15/2013 8:53AM

    Knowing you, there had to be a kicker somewhere! hehehe

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LINDAKAY228 5/15/2013 8:41AM

    Oh that's funny! Thought it was serious until the last line!

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SPARKCHANTAL 5/15/2013 8:22AM

    birdie birdie in the sky
why'd you do that in my eye?

aren't you glad that cows don't fly...

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PRINCHESSA 5/15/2013 8:04AM

    roflmao @ GIA_ROSY's response... so true!

So many windshields... so little time!

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GIA_ROSY 5/15/2013 7:59AM

    Oh nooo, emoticon
I've got bird flu cause I have the urge to crap on more than one person's windshield.
emoticon

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CHERYLHURT 5/15/2013 7:55AM

  OK, thanks!

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Holey Cow!!

Tuesday, May 14, 2013




























  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEXASFILLY 5/18/2013 12:43PM

    HA! My late Dad would've loved these~ he was a cattleman. Thanks, Jules~ *hugs* BB~ emoticon

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IMEMINE1 5/17/2013 5:33AM

    Very cute. emoticon

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DAP1313 5/16/2013 9:24AM

    emoticon

Love it!

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DESERTDREAMERS 5/16/2013 7:16AM

    Cute - thanks for sharing these

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WINE4GIRL 5/15/2013 11:54AM

    I love these!

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SHARJOPAUL 5/15/2013 9:25AM

    emoticon

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GIA_ROSY 5/15/2013 7:32AM

    Love your moooooving philosophical outlook on life!


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ARTJAC 5/15/2013 5:47AM

    emoticon

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KAYDE53 5/14/2013 10:45PM

    emoticon for cows! emoticon

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MILLISMA 5/14/2013 8:37PM

    There are some really great ones here!!!!

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OLDERDANDRT 5/14/2013 6:30PM

    Hilarious!!!!! Thanks!!

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TIME4COFFEE 5/14/2013 5:10PM

    Who doesn't enjoy a little moo humor?

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MARYANN2323 5/14/2013 3:35PM

    emoticon emoticon

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MARGARITTM 5/14/2013 2:55PM

    emoticon

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AWESOMECHELZ 5/14/2013 1:49PM

    Today is Happy Cow day! Moo! emoticon

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SUGARBABY60 5/14/2013 1:16PM

    This was certainly no Bull! emoticon and of course UTTERLY fantastic humor!

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JEANNETTE59 5/14/2013 11:59AM

  Now you really did it! How I'm I going to explain why I can't stop laughing when DH plays "Something in the Way She Moves"? emoticon

Our song has taken 0n a whole new meaning.

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GOOZLEBEAR 5/14/2013 10:50AM

    Cute Jules!!!! emoticon

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LJOYCE55 5/14/2013 9:22AM

  emoticon

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LEW0213 5/14/2013 9:22AM

    Loved MiniMoo! Adorable. Thanks, Jules.
Hugs, Linda

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NASFKAB 5/14/2013 9:13AM

  lovely thanks

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PAMBWS 5/14/2013 8:52AM

    Cows are interesting creatures...& very curious!

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PRINCHESSA 5/14/2013 7:36AM

    MOOOOOOOoooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
oooooOOO!

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LODESTONE 5/14/2013 7:26AM

    emoticon emoticon

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LINDAKAY228 5/14/2013 7:21AM

    emoticon

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CAT609 5/14/2013 7:20AM

    Too funny!

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DARJR50 5/14/2013 6:59AM

  LOL!!!!!

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GARDENCHRIS 5/14/2013 6:55AM

    emoticon

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SPARKCHANTAL 5/14/2013 6:49AM

    is it true that cows love potato chips?

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SANDICANE 5/14/2013 6:43AM

    Fabulous "cow" stuff. Thanks for the chuckle.

I recognize some of Gary Larson's Far Side stuff! Gosh I loved him!

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LANNIEMANUEL 5/14/2013 6:42AM

    emoticon

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Ouch!!!

Monday, May 13, 2013




An old lady passes away and finds herself in St.Peters office with him ready to fill in her entry documents.

She's answering all his questions when this ear splitting scream is heard from next door. old woman jumps up and says

“What in heaven's name was that'?” Mary asks, Peter says “Relax Mary, its just another soul getting the holes drilled in her back for her angels wings”

So they carry on. After a few minutes, another blood curdling scream is heard. Mary was now scared and says “Whats happening to that poor woman now?”

Peter says “Mary, relax,they're just drilling holes in her head for her golden halo.”

“Oh No” says Mary “If I knew it was going to be as sore as that I would have gone down below'”.

Peter said “Mary, you would not be happy down there, that place is full of rapists and sodomites'.

“I know that” said Mary “But I already have those holes drilled”





  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YMWONG22 5/21/2013 4:30AM

  Gosh! Can't help myself but to LOL. Such dark humor.
emoticon emoticon emoticon


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WINE4GIRL 5/14/2013 6:13AM

    Ooosh! emoticon

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ARTJAC 5/14/2013 12:02AM

    emoticon emoticon

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KAYDE53 5/13/2013 11:54PM

    emoticon

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GOOZLEBEAR 5/13/2013 9:11PM

    Oh my, ouch for sure!

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MILLISMA 5/13/2013 8:18PM

    emoticon emoticon

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0309COOKIE 5/13/2013 6:31PM

    emoticon

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PDSLIM 5/13/2013 6:23PM

    ouch

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DESERTDREAMERS 5/13/2013 3:48PM

    Oh, noooo!

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JEANNETTE59 5/13/2013 3:20PM

  emoticon emoticon or emoticon

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MARYANN2323 5/13/2013 2:34PM

    You's bad! lol.

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LJOYCE55 5/13/2013 11:05AM

  emoticon

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PRINCHESSA 5/13/2013 10:51AM

    emoticon ROFLMAO emoticon

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TIME4COFFEE 5/13/2013 10:48AM

    emoticon Goodness!

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LINDAKAY228 5/13/2013 9:26AM

    Oh my gosh! Wicked but funny!

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RASPBERRY56 5/13/2013 9:12AM

    emoticon

emoticon

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PAMBWS 5/13/2013 8:30AM

    That is funny. Oh, my I have a wicked sense of humour! emoticon

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SUGARBABY60 5/13/2013 8:26AM

    " I already have those holes drilled" ..... Oh dear!

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GARDENCHRIS 5/13/2013 6:54AM

    you are very bad!! emoticon

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TEXASFILLY 5/13/2013 6:18AM

    emoticon Ouch indeed! emoticon

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GOANNA2 5/13/2013 5:38AM

    Funny! emoticon

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GIA_ROSY 5/13/2013 5:06AM

    emoticon funny lady emoticon

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FLOWERDALEJEWEL 5/13/2013 4:54AM

   
Cold and wet, glad I'm inside

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SPARKCHANTAL 5/13/2013 4:39AM

    this is what we call 'galgenhumor', 'gallows humor'.
how's the weather over there?

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