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If I didn't have a dog or cat......

Monday, January 07, 2013


I could walk around the yard barefoot.



My house could be carpeted instead of tiled and laminated?

All flat surfaces, clothing, furniture, and cars would be free of hair.



When the doorbell rings, it wouldn't sound like a kennel.



When the doorbell rings, I could get to the door without wading through fuzzy bodies who beat me there.

I could sit on the couch and my bed the way I wanted, without taking into consideration how much space several fur bodies would need to get comfortable.



I would have money, and no guilt to go on a real vacation.

I would not be on a first-name basis with 6 veterinarians, as I put their yet unborn grandkids through college.



The most used words in my vocabulary would not be: out, sit, down, come, no, stay, and leave it ALONE.

My house would not be cordoned off into zones with baby gates or barriers.



I would not talk 'baby talk.' 'Eat your din din.' 'Yummy yummy for the tummy'...

My house would not look like a day care center, toys everywhere.



My pockets would not contain things like poop bags, treats and an extra leash.



I would no longer have to spell the words B-A-L-L, W-A-L-K, T-R-E-A-T, O-U-T, G-O

R-I-D-E, C-O-O-K-I-E

I would not have as many leaves INSIDE my house as outside.



I would not look strangely at people who think having ONE dog/cat ties them down too much.



I'd look forward to spring and the rainy season instead of dreading 'mud' season.

I would not have to answer the question... 'Why do you have so many animals?' from people who will never have the joy in their lives of knowing they are loved unconditionally by someone as close to an ANGEL as they will ever get.



How EMPTY my life would be!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHARJOPAUL 1/8/2013 9:43AM

    So TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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FISHERESS68 1/8/2013 2:45AM

    Zeek (is with the doggie angels) Zaak, Zeus all three labs. Midnight - cat , Fog Horn, Dolly and Betty - my chickens. Dogs and cat all sleep with me. It's all pure unconditional LOVE..

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ARTJAC 1/7/2013 11:14PM

    emoticon

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DESERTDREAMERS 1/7/2013 10:37PM

    Yep - my home and heart would be empty without my pupcakes and catnips.

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KAYDE53 1/7/2013 7:49PM

    All these are so true, but I wouldn't trade my two for the world & would have more if my hubby would let me!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LITTLEWIND53 1/7/2013 6:51PM

    I really miss my Simon, and would have another one in a heartbeat if I could but sadly getting to the point where I can hardly look after myself never mind another little bundle of fur..... (sigh)

Loved your story and pictures.

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MARYANN2323 1/7/2013 2:54PM

    Empty, indeed. Can't imagine not having a little "furbaby."

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LJOYCE55 1/7/2013 2:25PM

  You forgot how you have to wipe off the back seat of your car before you let a person sit there. emoticon

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SUGARBABY60 1/7/2013 2:22PM

    After the heart break of our LEMON going over the Rainbow bridge right after Christmas we now are filling up that empty space with our two Special needs Foster dogs. They are so sweet and just little VELCRO dogs( they want to stick right to me)
This blog is right on point!

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GOODLOOKIN69 1/7/2013 1:14PM

    So true!!! I loved the part about how you are putting the vets' grandkids through school! Our boy was just there this morning. Life sure wouldn't be the same without them. emoticon emoticon

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TIME4COFFEE 1/7/2013 12:55PM

    It all sounds normal to me.
emoticon X 2.

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PAMBWS 1/7/2013 10:51AM

    A house without a fur-baby...is just empty.

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KATHRYNLP 1/7/2013 10:12AM

    I could never live in a house without a fur-kid. It would just be so silent and empty. This is a great blog, Jules. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LEW0213 1/7/2013 10:01AM

    All of these are so true. I'm still finding leaves in my house and the trees are bare around here. I've got to add this one; "I would be able to get up from my chair when I wanted without having to sit there because I didn't want to disturb the cat/dog sleeping on my lap."

Linda

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LODESTONE 1/7/2013 9:40AM

    Some day, maybe.

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LIBBYG7 1/7/2013 9:37AM

    Even a 'one animal owner' can feel the joy and unconditional love --- altho' I'd love to have a houseful and suffer all the aforementioned consequences!!!!!!

Love 'ya...Jules.

Libby emoticon

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DRB13_1 1/7/2013 9:29AM

    i'm thinking about getting a house dog (but not a pit bull - that's pretty much all that's available to adopt at my local shelter), and this reminds me of the LOVE a pet would bring into my home. Thanks for sharing!

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PCOH051610 1/7/2013 7:56AM

    How true! As I write this I am home sick with a migraine brewing....both beds are taken over by our furry children and the other one is curled up on my lap being the "comfort hound".

Love them to bits

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WINE4GIRL 1/7/2013 7:41AM

    I love this! Reminds me of all the animals in my family! Uh, the four legged variety!

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LECATES 1/7/2013 6:57AM

    Cute!

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THINRONNA 1/7/2013 6:28AM

    Wonderful blog! We will be getting a dog again when we move and simply cannot wait! It is a surprise for the kids.

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CAROL- 1/7/2013 6:10AM

    emoticon

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NCSUE0514 1/7/2013 5:28AM

    But wouldn't life be lonely!!!
Have a grand day~

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VEGGIE-FITNESS 1/7/2013 4:51AM

    LOL Oh my.....I'm sitting here reading your blog nodding my head yes to everything!! I have 4 cats and 2 dogs inside and 1 cat and 1 dog who come dine on my porch in the wee hours and refuse to belong to anyone. And you know what? I wouldn't trade any of it for anything. We do what we have to do for the ones we love.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Lost In Translation The Second Coming!!

Saturday, January 05, 2013




Yeah, if you're Hulk Hogan




What in the heck are we manicuring???




Only the best "poopie"




No you amn't!




Snicker!!!




And it's the death penalty if you break this rule!




Good, because you can't spell it!




Uhhh...What???




Sperman, can leap tall ovum in a single bound!




Thank goodness I'm on a diet!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ARTJAC 1/6/2013 12:30AM

    emoticon

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SUGARBABY60 1/5/2013 11:20PM

    A very thought provoking blog....and funny as hell o.

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MAXFOCUS 1/5/2013 8:49PM

    emoticon Those were fantastic!


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KAYDE53 1/5/2013 8:39PM

    emoticon

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LIBBYG7 1/5/2013 5:03PM

    Where DO you get these, Jules!! They are hysterical.....always can count on you to lift my spirits.
Thanks --- for all.......

emoticon emoticon

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MARYANN2323 1/5/2013 2:32PM

    emoticon

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0309COOKIE 1/5/2013 1:56PM

    These were all rather humorous!

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LJOYCE55 1/5/2013 12:13PM

  Love the diet aid at the end. Really makes you want to eat at home. Thank you for sharing.

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GEORGIEGURLZ 1/5/2013 11:32AM

    Loved this blog! Nothing like a little humor.

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THINRONNA 1/5/2013 10:35AM

    Oh my gosh!!!! These made me laugh out loud! Soooo funny.

Once when Quin was little and we lived in the Caribbean we got her a shirt and it mistakenly said "Winnie the Poot" on it...so I know that many of these are real!

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SHARJOPAUL 1/5/2013 10:18AM

    LOL

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PAMBWS 1/5/2013 10:16AM

    A fun start to the day...thanx. emoticon

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LITTLEWIND53 1/5/2013 10:06AM

    emoticon

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TIME4COFFEE 1/5/2013 10:04AM

    Ah yes, we all learn sooner or later to NOT drink when reading anything you post. My screen is dry...and now, I shall safely have a sip of morning coffee.

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LODESTONE 1/5/2013 9:42AM

    Checking my electronics for poopie even as we spik inglish

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DRB13_1 1/5/2013 8:43AM

    now I'm REALLY glad I haven't tried writing in Mandarin characters to a native - who knows what my writing would say?!?!?!?
These are really funny

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GARDENCHRIS 1/5/2013 7:21AM

    to funny! rubbing against the wall???? just the thought..... emoticon

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KATHRYNLP 1/5/2013 6:48AM

    Lordy-Lordy Jules... you made my coffee squirt out my nose... emoticon

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WINE4GIRL 1/5/2013 6:36AM

    I gotta stop reading your blogs with my morning coffee...
emoticon

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DESERTDREAMERS 1/5/2013 6:30AM

    Engrish funny talk emoticon

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NCSUE0514 1/5/2013 5:19AM

    Love 'em!!!

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Some Things Just Don't Translate Well

Friday, January 04, 2013




Why thank you!!



Can you wipe them on Elmo after???



And the crafty are also slippery!



Pardon??



I say we send all our "cow somethings" to China !



Yup!!



Great, I *hate* stale herpes!



Mmmmmm, the best part!!



No wonder China has never won a war!



Thanks for the tip, I'll write it down....

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THINRONNA 1/6/2013 4:11AM

    I somehow missed this one! My husband thinks I'm crazy I was laughing so hard!

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GOODLOOKIN69 1/5/2013 10:54AM

    Too funny!! Thanks for starting my day off with a laugh! Have a great one. emoticon emoticon

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FISHERESS68 1/5/2013 1:06AM

    HA HA HA HA HE HE HE HE LLLLLLOOOOOLLLLLLL LOVE YA JULES... emoticon

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KAYDE53 1/5/2013 12:27AM

    emoticon

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ARTJAC 1/4/2013 9:09PM

    emoticon

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MARYANN2323 1/4/2013 5:38PM

    Hilarious!

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MSBEKANATOR 1/4/2013 4:45PM

    Thanks for the laugh! Awesome!

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LMB-ESQ 1/4/2013 3:43PM

    ROFLMAO!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SASSISPRING 1/4/2013 1:54PM

    Oh gosh SO FUNNY!!!!!

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NCSUE0514 1/4/2013 1:08PM

    Not sure where you got those but please check www.engrish.com - it's loaded with stuff like that!!!

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LJOYCE55 1/4/2013 12:59PM

  That explains most of the assemble yourself instructions I've read.

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LIBBYG7 1/4/2013 12:38PM

    Brilliant!!! emoticon emoticon

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0309COOKIE 1/4/2013 12:23PM

    These were rather humorous!

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DOLLFACEDX 1/4/2013 10:44AM

    I'll be sharing these. . .LOL

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GOOZLEBEAR 1/4/2013 10:42AM

    Oh my!! Very interesting and funny! emoticon

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GARDENCHRIS 1/4/2013 10:19AM

    to funny!

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LEW0213 1/4/2013 9:55AM

    I've got to send the one on grilled chicken ass to my son. He works for a company that sells chicken. hehehe!

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KATHRYNLP 1/4/2013 9:42AM

    Well Jules... we all fight over the Popes Nose on the turkey. Does that count as chicken a$$? emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TIME4COFFEE 1/4/2013 9:14AM

    Great translations!

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PYNETREE 1/4/2013 8:38AM

    Pictures are worth a thousand funny words! Thanks for sharing! emoticon

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LODESTONE 1/4/2013 8:34AM

    funnies well worth sharing! Good giggle to start the day emoticon

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PAMBWS 1/4/2013 8:30AM

    Too funny...I really love translations.

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WINE4GIRL 1/4/2013 6:54AM

    I almost spit my coffee on the computer screen!
Great chuckles to start my morning!


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DRB13_1 1/4/2013 6:42AM

    I enjoyed a trip to China some years ago and took pictures of many "lost in translation" signs. I thought it was interesting to see signs saying "Don't spit anywhere" until I realized the sign over the water fountain at MY gym here in the US ALSO says "Please do nit spit in the fountain." So I guess that is universal. emoticon

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PATTOMMC3 1/4/2013 6:33AM

    emoticon

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10 Things Dogs Hate About People

Thursday, January 03, 2013


1. Blaming your farts on me



2. Yelling at me for barking. I'm a dog for crying out loud!!!!



3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?



4. Anything that involves balancing food on my nose, stop it!!



5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home



6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled the dog, Woo Hoo, what a great accomplishment for the top of the food chain



7. Taking me to the vet for the "big snip" then acting surprised when I freak out everytime we go back there



8. Gettin upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet



9. Dog sweaters. Hello ????? Have you noticed the fur?



10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look ..... we both know the truth, you are just jealous.



Now lay off me on some of these things. We both know who's boss here. You don't see me picking up your poop do you??


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DESERTDREAMERS 1/6/2013 8:01AM

    Cute emoticon

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PAMBWS 1/4/2013 9:40AM

    The poor pug in the bunny costume would have made me spray coffee all over - if I'd been silly enough to drink while reading this.

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LISAN0415 1/4/2013 4:39AM

    LOL!


My cat thinks even though I spoil him, that I must have hired the vaccuum as a trained asassain to murder him!

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FISHERESS68 1/4/2013 4:38AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DRB13_1 1/4/2013 2:05AM

    emoticon emoticon

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KAYDE53 1/4/2013 12:37AM

    those pugs are more laid back than the ones that I've ever owned; mine would have been spinning like tops if I'd put outfits or fake hair on them. emoticon (they love to chase their tails)

emoticon emoticon



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FLOWERDALEJEWEL 1/4/2013 12:35AM

   

I guess there's always exceptions to the rule Cheri. Mine hate the coats and only Maggs put up with her booties on her back feet because they kept her from slipping after her spinal surgery.

I have this vision of her putting her paws up for the boots emoticon

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CHERIRIDDELL 1/4/2013 12:28AM

    Juleen,I have told you about the weather here my dog waits for her sweater ,hello some days she wears a coat.One day my husband forgot to put her boots on when it was like minus 30 and she was so mad she came in hopping straight to me.She loves getting him told off LOL ,now she comes downstairs to see mke before she will go out if the weather is too cold and he refuses to put her boots on when she holds up a paw!!!!

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ARTJAC 1/3/2013 9:31PM

    emoticon emoticon

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GOOZLEBEAR 1/3/2013 9:21PM

    Those are priceless!! thanks for the chuckle!!!! emoticon

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0309COOKIE 1/3/2013 6:05PM

    These were good.

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LJOYCE55 1/3/2013 5:36PM

  How do you keep coming up with these - soo funny. Thank you for sharing.

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GBSLIM 1/3/2013 10:19AM

    Too too funny. Thanx I needed a good laugh and I was ROFL at the poor little guy in the bunny suit.
emoticon

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TIME4COFFEE 1/3/2013 10:10AM

    emoticon emoticon

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KATHRYNLP 1/3/2013 10:03AM

    Awhhhh the wonderous joy of owning a CAT! LoL emoticon emoticon

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LASKIE2 1/3/2013 9:35AM

    I love walking the dog!

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MILLISMA 1/3/2013 9:32AM

    These are great!!!!

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SUGARBABY60 1/3/2013 9:15AM

    I do love your humor Jules!

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LIBBYG7 1/3/2013 8:58AM

   
#2, 10 & 11 hit home with me particularly!!! Lucy - poops and runs, so I'm pulling her back on her leash while I pick up her 'stuff'...it takes coordination!!!

This is wonderfully hysterical! Thanks Jules.
emoticon

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LODESTONE 1/3/2013 8:55AM

    Someone is always in the right place with a camera for these shots! Funny!

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PCOH051610 1/3/2013 8:54AM

    These are great! I just logged in while at work (in a library) and burst out laughing at some of the expressions!

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GAYLLYNNE 1/3/2013 8:45AM

    These are fabulous!!! Thanks for shariang

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LMB-ESQ 1/3/2013 7:40AM

    emoticon The pic of the lost ball is hilarious. Thanks for my laugh for the day!

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CHLOE453 1/3/2013 6:33AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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My Favourite Things

Wednesday, January 02, 2013

To commemorate her birthday , actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was 'My Favorite Things' from the legendary movie 'Sound Of Music'. Here are the lyrics she used:



(Sing It!) - If you sing it, its especially hysterical!!!

Botox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Cadillacs and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the pipes leak, When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache, When the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PAMBWS 1/4/2013 9:49AM

    emoticon emoticon Truer words were never spoken...er, sung!

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THINRONNA 1/3/2013 1:46AM

    So terrific!

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CHERIRIDDELL 1/2/2013 11:46PM

    Priceless trust you to find it!!!

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DESERTDREAMERS 1/2/2013 9:44PM

    Terrific!

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GOOZLEBEAR 1/2/2013 9:15PM

    Love it Jules, thanks!

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MAXFOCUS 1/2/2013 8:47PM

    So funny!! emoticon

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WINE4GIRL 1/2/2013 5:00PM

    That is awesome!
emoticon

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LJOYCE55 1/2/2013 2:18PM

  Love the elephants. Thank you for keeping it light here.

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TIME4COFFEE 1/2/2013 10:41AM

    Priceless~!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LMB-ESQ 1/2/2013 10:30AM

    HAHAHAHA emoticon emoticon

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MILLISMA 1/2/2013 9:58AM

    I heard this and absolutely loved it. Thanks for posting the words. It's a keeper!!!

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0309COOKIE 1/2/2013 9:39AM

    How clever.

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LIBBYG7 1/2/2013 9:28AM

    I CAN sing......but I'm laughing so hard.....it's hard to get the notes out!!1

Thanks, Jules, for starting my new year out so cheerily!!!
I can count on you!!!!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GARDENCHRIS 1/2/2013 9:24AM

    just what I expected! emoticon

and a new page!

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KATHRYNLP 1/2/2013 9:16AM

    Too funny, Jules.... emoticon emoticon

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LODESTONE 1/2/2013 6:16AM

    Wish I could sing. Tooo funny- nice snort of laughter with my morning coffee.

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