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FLOWERDALEJEWEL's Recent Blog Entries

Funny Furbabies

Saturday, December 29, 2012




























  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PAMBWS 12/30/2012 12:32PM

    Loved 'em all!!

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LJOYCE55 12/29/2012 11:01PM

  emoticon emoticon

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KAYDE53 12/29/2012 9:44PM

    My son gave me a scented stuffed animal for Christmas, and my Susie was giving it the "eye", so "He started it" strikes a chord with me!! emoticon emoticon

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MILLISMA 12/29/2012 8:08PM

    Don't you just love furbaby pictures!!!!!

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HICKOK-HALEY 12/29/2012 8:01PM

    Those were great!! emoticon

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GOOZLEBEAR 12/29/2012 4:50PM

    Loved them all Jules!!!!! emoticon

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SCIFIREADER 12/29/2012 4:37PM

    I loved them all but the Monday one was my favorite also. Sums up my feelings on Monday's perfectly. Thanks Jules. emoticon

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LODESTONE 12/29/2012 2:16PM

    I'm not so much a cat person, but these are hilarious--

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TIME4COFFEE 12/29/2012 10:11AM

    Who doesn't love cute innocent furriness?

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DESERTDREAMERS 12/29/2012 9:20AM

    Great!

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SHARJOPAUL 12/29/2012 9:14AM

    LOL

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JACKIE542 12/29/2012 9:02AM

    emoticon

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LEW0213 12/29/2012 8:55AM

    Loved all of these but the Monday one was the best. Really shows my feelings about Monday even tho I'm retired. Going to send that one on to my kids. Thanks Jules.

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GARDENCHRIS 12/29/2012 8:19AM

    very cute!

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KATHRYNLP 12/29/2012 8:17AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WINE4GIRL 12/29/2012 8:00AM

    Absolutely fun! Thanks for a great morning chuckle!

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PCOH051610 12/29/2012 7:51AM

    Your posts always make me smile and laugh! Loved all of these. emoticon

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LASKIE2 12/29/2012 6:33AM

    emoticon pictures. I love the dog needing to go outdoors, blicking the view if the game.

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MARYJOANNA 12/29/2012 5:53AM

  Very cute! Loved the cat pictures!

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WATERDIAMONDS 12/29/2012 5:08AM

    Oh my, how funny and endearing! Thank you for posting such smiles.

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THINRONNA 12/29/2012 4:55AM

    These are great! I showed them to my kids...way to little to get it but they loved the cute pictures!

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MAGGIEVAN 12/29/2012 3:23AM

    Thanks for sharing. Have a great 2013.

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NUTS!!!!

Friday, December 28, 2012






























  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUGARBABY60 12/28/2012 8:50PM

    A very thought provoking blog!and funny as He-- too!

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MILLISMA 12/28/2012 7:47PM

    Nuts to the nutty!!!! These are FUNNY!!! emoticon

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TERRIJ7 12/28/2012 7:40PM

    I LOVE it, Jules! I love the expression on the kitty that had the "check up."

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DUDEDRAK 12/28/2012 6:24PM

    The thing I like the most about you is....like me.... YOU'RE NUTS!! Loved it!!

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PCOH051610 12/28/2012 6:03PM

    You've got me crying here!

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GOOZLEBEAR 12/28/2012 3:50PM

    Thanks for the chuckle Jules! emoticon

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TIME4COFFEE 12/28/2012 11:36AM

    Some of us understand nuts all too well...
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HOLLYM48 12/28/2012 9:41AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LODESTONE 12/28/2012 9:36AM

    Thanks for the chuckle to start my day! emoticon

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LJOYCE55 12/28/2012 8:56AM

  Thank you. emoticon

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LEW0213 12/28/2012 8:53AM

    The cat on the fencepost is my favorite also. Thanks for the laughs this morning, Jules.

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SHARJOPAUL 12/28/2012 8:49AM

    Love them
LOL!!!

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KATHRYNLP 12/28/2012 8:44AM

    Some of my best friends are Nuts! (not pointing fingers at you, necessarily) emoticon emoticon

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MRE1956 12/28/2012 6:40AM

    emoticon

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THINRONNA 12/28/2012 4:34AM

    I LOVE the one with the cat on the fence pole! Thanks for the laugh!

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Quotes On Sex

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Quotes On Sex

“I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.”
* Tom Clancy

“You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.”
* Steve Martin

“Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.”
* Woody Allen

“Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.”
* Rodney Dangerfield

“Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist.”
* Matt Barry

“Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.”
* Camille Paglia

“Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.”
* George Burns

“Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.”
* Sharon Stone

“My girlfriend always laughs during sex ~ no matter what she’s reading.”
* Steve Jobs

“I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with “Guess” on it, so I said “Thyroid problem?’”
* Arnold Schwarzenegger

Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.”
* Barbara Bush

“Ah, yes, Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.”
* Robin Williams

“Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.”
* Roseanne

“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.”
* Billy Crystal

“According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.”
* Robert De Niro

“There’s a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what’s the problem?”
* Dustin Hoffman

“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house.”
* Rod Stewart

“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.”
* Robin Williams


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LODESTONE 12/27/2012 7:24PM

    Made my day! Thanks, Jules!

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GOOZLEBEAR 12/27/2012 5:15PM

    emoticon

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LJOYCE55 12/27/2012 3:32PM

  emoticon

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MILLISMA 12/27/2012 2:31PM

    I'd had seem some of these and glad to see the rest. Too funny emoticon

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KAYDE53 12/27/2012 2:27PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ANNCHER 12/27/2012 11:26AM

    How funny! Thanks for sharing. Have a great day! Hugs! emoticon

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TIME4COFFEE 12/27/2012 11:05AM

    Hilarious!

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KATHRYNLP 12/27/2012 9:55AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DESERTDREAMERS 12/27/2012 9:46AM

    emoticon

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THINRONNA 12/27/2012 9:37AM

    These are great!!!!!

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CATIATM 12/27/2012 9:10AM

    Barbara Bush said that?! Oh my! emoticon

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GAYLLYNNE 12/27/2012 8:33AM

    Very funny, that's for the morning smile!!!

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FISHERESS68 12/27/2012 4:57AM

    That was funny, Thanks for the laugh. emoticon

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WEARINGTHIN 12/27/2012 3:45AM

    We all need a little lightness now and then. Glenn

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SUGARBABY60 12/27/2012 3:24AM

    Very funny indeed! emoticon emoticon

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Embarrassing Holiday Experiences - The Revenge of the Cacti

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

This is not my story, but it is funny that's for sure!!!

A few years back we went to Tenerife. You will probably be aware that they sell little Cacti everywhere, but I decided I wanted a 'Native' one. To retrieve a cactus I hung precariously over a rocky ledge, pulling a muscle and scraping my ankle.

We then took a bus journey with the retrieved cactus in the pocket of my shorts. Out of spite the cactus secretly stuck its barbs into my thighs and testicles. I was unaware of this until we reached the nearby town where we were to disembark. When I stood I screamed in agony attracting the strangest of looks from all around. Hobbling off the bus to a nearby bench I then spent a good ten minutes removing the barbs and a further five removing the remaining ones from the cactus.

Victorious we then moved on and entered a supermarket through a turnstile... The cactus in my pocket became trapped between leg and bar and BANG! explosion of red dye and cacti pulp! For seven days I had a purple leg and for the rest of that first day I walked around looking like I had been shot!



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PAMBWS 12/30/2012 12:37PM

    emoticon

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PCOH051610 12/28/2012 5:59PM

    Bah ha ha

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LODESTONE 12/27/2012 7:27PM

    Some people are just slow learners. Sad, but true. emoticon

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SUGARBABY60 12/27/2012 2:44AM

    Never put cactus in your testicles.....sounds like good advise to me!

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KATHRYNLP 12/26/2012 10:24AM

    OUCHIE!!!! emoticon emoticon

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MILLISMA 12/25/2012 9:56PM

    All I can say is OUCH!!!!

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DESERTJULZ 12/25/2012 9:29PM

    Living in cacti-rich Arizona, I can certainly understand! Never, never, never-ever put a cactus in your pocket!

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GOOZLEBEAR 12/25/2012 8:49PM

    emoticon emoticon

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LJOYCE55 12/25/2012 8:18PM

  Now I have a reason not to pick a cactus. emoticon

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KAYDE53 12/25/2012 4:21PM

    emoticon emoticon

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HIKETOHEIGHTS 12/25/2012 10:11AM

    Yikes! And the moral is: don't mess with a natural habitat?

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TIME4COFFEE 12/25/2012 9:46AM

    Nope, I wasn't expecting that either!

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WINE4GIRL 12/25/2012 5:47AM

    Wasn't expecting that...
emoticon

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BEAUTIFUL_REINA 12/25/2012 3:40AM

    Poor you! That's a terrible experience!

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You Might Be A Christmas Redneck If......

Monday, December 24, 2012



-Your grandma's beard is more impressive than Santa's.

-You use the cobwebs in the corners of your house as tinsel for the Christmas tree.

-You really do ask Santa for your two front teeth.

-All your plastic Pink Flamingos yard ornaments have on Santa hats.

-You decorate your tree with fishing lures.

-You leave beer and nuts for Santa, instead of milk and cookies.

-Your outdoor lights are bug zappers.

-You use your Rudolph lawn ornament for bow & arrow practice.

-You have enough cars in the front yard to dress up and name for every reindeer

-If you think The Nutcracker is something you did off the high dive.

-If squirrels still live in your Christmas tree.

-If you have to put an electric fence around your Christmas tree to keep your dog from peeing on it.

-The gift exchange at school pretty much involves you and your cousins.

-You use Whiteout on the card you get from your mama to give to your girlfriend.

-You have more lights working on the outside of your trailer than you do on the inside.

-You have a tree stand in your yard and a salt lick on your roof.

-Grandma finally gave you her moon shine recipe as a gift for Christmas.

-The cops stake out in front of your house on Christmas morning so they can arrest most of your family in one

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PCOH051610 12/28/2012 6:02PM

    I laughed so hard reading these that I woke my husband up! Loved the "nutcracker" one especially!

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LJOYCE55 12/25/2012 8:19PM

  Still funny. emoticon

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IMREITE 12/25/2012 2:28PM

    my dad talked my little sister into leaving Ez-mac (single serving mac and cheese that is microwaveable) for santa otherwise we left cookies and milk. my family did not do any redneck things, just the fun and silly stuff.

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SHARJOPAUL 12/25/2012 8:40AM

    LOL
Merry Christmas

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FLOWERDALEJEWEL 12/25/2012 12:18AM

   


TXGRANDMA there's more than a hint of Jeff Foxworthy here.

I reckon rednecks are found everywhere. They might call them by different names but the end result is just the same!!

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LIBBYG7 12/24/2012 9:02PM

    Jules....
May you NEVER lose your sense of humor-----and may you continue to share it with us!!!

Merry Christmas, luv.

Libby emoticon emoticon

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GOOZLEBEAR 12/24/2012 9:01PM

    emoticon I think I recognize some of them!!!!!! emoticon

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MILLISMA 12/24/2012 7:35PM

    Didn't know you had Aussie Rednecks!!!!! I think I know some of these. emoticon

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LJOYCE55 12/24/2012 2:50PM

  Love it and the picture as well. Thank you.

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GARDENCHRIS 12/24/2012 11:40AM

    I thought the USA was the only place with Rednecks!?!?!?

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KAYDE53 12/24/2012 9:27AM

    emoticon emoticon

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KATHRYNLP 12/24/2012 9:25AM

    Salt Lick was a good idea.. emoticon Hope your Christmas was magical, Jules!

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WINE4GIRL 12/24/2012 9:05AM

    Some of those resemble my relatives!
emoticon

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TXGRANDMA 12/24/2012 8:16AM

    emoticon Do I get a hint of Jeff Foxworthy here? Loved it!

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LEW0213 12/24/2012 7:56AM

    Good Lord, I do have pink flamingos in my garden. I've got to go get some Santa hats now. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PYNETREE 12/24/2012 7:51AM

    Thanks for the emoticon this Day before Christmas! emoticon

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MRE1956 12/24/2012 6:54AM

    emoticon

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SUGARBABY60 12/24/2012 3:35AM

    sure sounds like many a Christmas we spent living in Tennessee .

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THINRONNA 12/24/2012 2:54AM

    You know waaaay too much about a red neck Christmas...take it from someone born in the South!

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BRENDA_G50 12/24/2012 2:37AM

    This just made my day!!! emoticon emoticon

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TIME4COFFEE 12/24/2012 2:10AM

    Glad to see you're filled with all the wonder of Christmas Jules!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PHOENIX1949 12/24/2012 2:03AM

    emoticon

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ZRIE014 12/24/2012 1:53AM

  have a great day. emoticon

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