Wednesday, December 24, 2014
I've missed you my darling sparklers!
Merry Christmas and happy holidays to each and all! Thank you sincerely for your cards and good wishes! I really REALLY love them all!
I must say I really enjoy my virtual world friends every bit as much as my fleshy friends...not to insinuate fleshy as in fat...only fleshy as flesh' n' bones! I got called out on that once and thought...geeze...lets not be SO sensitive! But THEN I realized this is a weight loss forum so I was skating on thin ice and apologize and now explain myself for clarity.
Yesterday we chased the recycle truck around the neighborhood. I happen to sit in our den at the front of our house to do my writing... so have a clear view of the trash and recycle pick ups.
If ANYONE in the world deserves Christmas bonus' it's these people! I've NEVER seen people tackle a harder, dirtier, stinky job. Even fast food workers slide in on 2nd base comparatively!
As I was typing away on yesterday's blog I noticed this guy is out there doing the pick ups all ALONE...he's driving the truck AND picking up the bins of recycles. A miserable dirty job just got MORE so!
I told DH and we jumped in the car and chased him around the neighborhood...good thing he was moving at a snail's pace! As I pressed his holiday Christmas bonus bills in his hand and bade him a Merry Christmas...he resisted..."It's my job..beautiful lady...it's my job!"
Believe me ...that sweet sincere compliment would have upped his bonus if I would have thought to have brought more money with me. "Well, I said...your job just got a little brighter today, thank you for all you do and Merry Christmas..we APPRECIATE you!"
That was that...but as he climbed back up into that monster truck I saw a hint of a little smile on his face in the rearview mirror!
YAY...I've never felt so good over such a tiny little act of kindness. THIS is what Christmas really SHOULD be all about don't you think my friends?
Well...back to the "J" saga. I was getting texts from her right and left about all of the ideas she had for the upcoming paint classes which were to start the second week of January.
I wasn't all that keen on waiting until the second week but right up front she told me that she had booked two flights back home for singing gigs and she is also a hair stylist so she wanted to take care of her regulars. Who is going to say no to someone who is forthright enough to tell you about those previous obligations? Certainly not soft hearted me. No one can ever accuse me of being a hard hearted boss with no empathy.
I told her that would be fine. At the Christmas party she and her husband seemed to be getting along amicably. I noted a few swipes at him from her...seemed to be her style by now..I wondered how she might feel if those mean remarks came back at her so frequently?
The first time we did something with them was when we invited them to our Bonita in the Park...a concert in our little downtown park raising money with tribute bands for the Jaycees.
They seemed to enjoy that a lot...but I did notice some snide remarks dropped here and there about her husband.
You can always tell when there is an underlying uneasiness between couples. It got worse when we went to their house a week or so later for a dinner invitation they extended to us.
She wanted us to see her tree and meet her dog and said that she LOVED entertaining...geeze...I'm thinking...I've hit the jackpot with this new entertaining, vivacious and beautiful new person in our world.
But...as the evening wore on..AGAIN with the snide remarks about her husband...he didn't say a PEEP in his defense...I really ended up feeling kind of sorry for the guy! This kind of stuff ALWAYS puts a damper on the evening...especially when we barely KNEW them!
You ALWAYS (or at least I do) get these little nagglers about people that something isn't QUITE as it appears to be. I pushed it aside and chalked it up to her unhappiness about moving to a new location miles and miles away from a home she had never been away from and people that she was extremely close to..her sister, her mother, and her previous clients and neighbors that she had known forever...I reluctantly...not really believing myself...write it off to being homesick.
BUT then...I get a distressing text from J after our Christmas party...saying that she had a VERY rough night with her husband and she didn't want to burden me with it but she couldn't tell her sister... because her sister would just tell her to come back home and she had no HOME to go back to...that just wasn't an option. BUT she was in fear of her safety because her husband was so depressed and tended to take that depression out on HER...and she was a bag of nerves over it.
And this is not fair to HER...he is a spoiled brat that is NEVER happy no matter what and it's VERY deflating to their relationship! She has to start taking care of HERSELF....And...on and on and ON! People should really read their texts back to decipher it's too much about ME...ME...ME...before they hit the send button!
Now... not to be unsympathetic to her situation....because I lived with a first husband that terrorized me with his bullying...I had to ask myself and you can observe for yourself...J is a very tall...very muscular woman...I'd never say that she could NOT defend herself...but if the guy is SO terrible and she has gone through this before WHY would she move down here unless she wanted to?
And...WHY is she so terribly inconsolably happy only a few weeks into the move down here... where the weather is HEAVEN and she has just been offered a pretty cushy job revolving around HER desired hours to work at a very cushy payment....unless...she has decided that he isn't providing in quite the style that she was used to up north?
Or...maybe she had a little tete' a tete' with some guy in her band when she went back in December...just a very few days earlier... for her band gigs?
I'm just an inquiring mind after all...legitimate questions I'm asking myself about this whole relationship with her husband.
Being a writer...I am a CLOSE observer of human behavior...and I never observed an unkind word towards J from him to her...but PLENTY running the opposite way...hummmm do terrified women snipe on someone they are afraid of...I sure didn't in the relationship I was in...I was afraid to open my mouth...period!
LONG texting story short...she had moved down here as a last ditch effort to make her 10 year marriage work out but now her husband (who was a spoiled rich brat that had always worked for his parents company)....according to her...hated his job down here and said that they had made a mistake coming down here. HE...not she...was the one who wanted to move back home. Classic case of deflecting...J has it DOWN PAT..that girl...YES she does!
BUT...even with this TMI....texting...not to worry...about ANYTHING.... because she had told me she was going to help me and she WOULD!
Okay...now I'm VERY nervous...I'm wondering WHAT the heck is going on behind closed doors and my 'true crime detective solving skills are on high alert'! Was she safe, was her husband who seemed VERY docile to me...really a time bomb ready to explode and blow J and the dog up? What would happen to the people on the floor above them...would they be harmed also?
Then I remembered all of the stories about serial killers appearing to be the nicest most PASSIVE guys around...but yet you find out they killed women by the dozen and buried them under the house?
I'm telling you it doesn't help my over active mind since we have a gal in our group (also ironically who goes by J) that actually WAS married to a serial killer! True story!
I keep telling her...she's GOT to write a book about that! She says it would dredge up too sorrowful of memories...but I think it would help her purge those memories..that's why I'm writing about our darling Josher...people need to HEAR about these things..your own painful lessons can help someone else better understand any sorrow they are going through...or at least that is the aim.
So the next day I get another text from J saying that her sister has asked if she can stay longer than January 5th. She now wants her to stay until January 18th. But J says she won't do it if I don't want her to...BUT...guilt trip...she really had NO time to spend with her on the December visit because she was always so busy with her singing gigs or her haircutting duties.
Okay...NOW I'm really starting to see this whole fuzzy picture start to come into focus.
The first thing I respond is "Well....my first question would be...are you EVEN planning on coming back?"
I don't know for sure if I can hold those classes off until almost the end of January...my customers are already not happy that they haven't been able to get into a class that they signed up for months ago. I have held them off because I knew I needed someone to do them for me...I'm just up to my ears in all of the other responsibilities the gallery throws my way during 'high season'.
Oh...yes, yes...of COURSE she will be back. I'm doubtful at this point VERY very doubtful...but me being me I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. And BESIDES...now I have this mini stockade of paint sitting in the garage and definitely need someone to teach those classes and get that paint sold!
Our Annual Girls Christmas Craft Party occurs on December 18th. I had invited J to attend long before so there is no going back on that invitation now...I've decided to move it to our house from where I originally intended to have it at the consignment gallery.
Why...because I forgot to take the dad blasted girls group picture around the Christmas Tree which was the main emphasis of the party. We were going to chalk paint picture frames to put that bloody missing picture in! DUH...hard to do without the Christmas Tree pic!
Sooooo I put up two huge tables in the kitchen and set up all of the supplies for the party. J did come and I asked her to bring back all of the paint samples I had given her to practice with the prior 3 or 4 weeks. Still had that naggley feeling that I might be getting 'punked'
She brought back all of the cans but asked if she could keep two of the fuller cans and I said yes...IF you are actually going to use them to practice on. She assured me she would. I believed her.
The party was fun...BUT chaotic...you just can't get 12 women that have known each other forever to settle down and LISTEN to instructions. And these instructions NEED to be listened to. We were going to learn how to distress, how to patina, how to color wash, how to dry brush, how to crackle, how to age and how to 2 color blend.
Holy CRAP...these women are NOISY! They kept talking over me...and then some got mad at the others because some really DID want to learn the techniques so they were yelling at each other to shush...AND of course... being louder during the shushing than the women with the actual annoying conversations going on in the FIRST place!
Most of the gals at the party I've known for many, many years...the only newbies were J and 2 gals that one of the regulars had invited from her work. She did ask...and me being me...said the more the merrier...but I do this every year and NeVER again...just too many talking heads all at once!
People were up and down and in and out of the area...up getting food, maybe going to the bathroom...maybe wandering around looking at the tree...who knows. I couldn't keep track of all the comings and goings because I was of course propped up at the head of the tables trying to make master some semblance of a 'teaching' atmosphere!
I've given big classes at the gallery and NEVER had this much bedlam...but those ladies for the most part don't know each other...are paying a pretty good fee to LEARN..and KEY FACTOR are not guzzling martinis and wine! OR..they just have a much better pedigree in manners!
Here at LAST are the pictures of the motley group by the Christmas Tree. Funny thing is that MOST of the ladies never made it to painting the picture frame because that was to be the end project AFTER they decided which technique they liked the best to paint it! Most of them never made it through all of the painting lessons...oh well...less expense for me on buying more frames for my paying customer work shop clients! You can lead a horse to water.......
There are a couple of shots..because OF COURSE...no one could get their act together well enough for a picture to turn out great of all of us at any one given time. Blessings to poor patient DH taking the snaps!
Here is a shot of all the gals who attended...just to have it to mark the occasion. The newbies to the group are the back row closest to the Christmas Tree...I'd HATE to think anyone of them would steal from their hostess...this causes me GREAT anguish!
I'm sorry to say...but one of those ladies might be a thief...my wallet got lifted Thursday night or Friday. I know I had it Thursday morning because I got a credit card out of it for DH to order something on-line. I remember throwing it back into my purse and throwing my purse in my closet...right there inside the door...unfortunately in PLAIN sight if you opened the closet door...but I closed the door. I guess closed doors would never deter a thief now would they...I didn't leave the house all day Thursday getting ready for the party.
Friday I went into work but my purse is in a pretty secure place and our I-Pad is in a much more visible place...it seems that if someone could possibly get to my purse to steal my wallet they would certainly help themselves to the visible I-Pad at the same time. AND...if they were going to just steal the wallet...why not the whole purse...I'm in the back from time to time helping customers so it could be possible. BUT the purse was there Friday when I left work...I came straight home, threw it in the closet and didn't take it to our friends get together that evening.
I discovered the wallet gone the following Saturday when we went to the Joe Bonamassa concert...had been no where out of the house all day Saturday so couldn't have gone missing then.
Selfie at the Christmas tree before and then the concert..which by the way was MOST excellent...he is a world class guitarist!
Soooo that narrows the wallet down to disappearing Thursday night at the craft party OR Saturday at the consignment gallery.
I don't know when or how...but I DO recall J mentioning over and over how she needed to come up with some cold hard cash and that's why she did the gigs in Chicago...cash was on her mind pretty frequently. Suspicious huh...but there were 2 other new people in the group that night so I'm not saying it was actually her.
BUT...the next I hear from her in a text is that she is GOING back to Chicago for good...she is in fear of her safety down here and she's sorry she can't say good bye in person but she has to do what's best for her.
Ah~HUH...I got that...I got that GOOD!
Merry friggin' Christmas J...and I hope you freeze your boobs off!