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I Lost Something! I Don't Want It Back!

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Today I reached my all time low, again! I am now 215 pounds, down from 250 at the start and headed down to 190 and below. I asked the doctor if he thought I could make it to 150 and he looked at me like I had lost my head - guess not!

Okay, I'm going for 180, but if I can go lower, I'm going there. It depends on what I look like at 180. I have been told by the doctor that I have a huge bone structure. I guess there is about 3 of my mother's bones to a single bone from me. Interesting and I guess I won't get down to the 119 my mother got before she passed, but that was never one of my hopes as she was skin and bones.

So, am I happy about where I am? Absolutely! Am I staying here at 215? Absolutely NOT! I am at a point where I want - really want - to see what I look like and feel like at 180. So I'm chugging down my very own set of rails and I can see my destination of 198 off in the distance. I'm going there! When I get there, I'm going to set my sights for the next mini destination . Since I'm at the top of the hill and my little train is going down, I can see everything out there in the distance. I can send out the crews to fix the broken bridge up ahead and by the time I get there, I'll be able to just speed by it without having to stop.

I'm running again! WooHoo! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1BEACHWALKER 2/5/2011 3:48PM

    One-derland is so close-keep it up and you will get there! Have you tried getting out and taking long walks? I find that is what gets the scale to move for me. I reset my goal tracker to do it in 20 pound increments-because where I eventually want to be seems so long off! emoticon emoticon

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JRSTERP 2/2/2011 1:04PM

    Love the positive thinking and determination. Keep it up! emoticon



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MYSTERY4EVER 1/30/2011 10:23PM

    That is so wonderful. I never thought I could lose this weight and now I am doing it. Keep up the good work.

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LIFEISSWEET2 1/30/2011 8:19PM

    You can make adjustments to your goal at anytime. You'll know when you've reached "that point". And emoticon to your downer of a doc! emoticon

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JANETLP 1/30/2011 2:15PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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EVWINGS 1/30/2011 1:07PM

    emoticon I now a lot of what you feel! I started out last April at 255. By the time I got serious in August or September, I had only lost 10. I set my goal to be 190. Right now I'm at 213!! Several times I had plateau's which last several weeks. But I love watching the scale going down! When I reach 190 I have decided to make my goal to 170. When I get there, I'll make it 140. I'd love to get to 125 (my weight when I started college waayyyyy back when ), but I'm not sure how realistic that is. 140 should be wonderful!! You know, I nearly wrote "if" rather than "when". But we have to both stay as positive as possible! emoticon

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WETPTARMIGAN 1/30/2011 12:06PM

    It's fun to think about those final goals in the misty future, but you're right to put the real focus on the mini-goals, the next 10 or 20 pounds. And congrats on the BP improvement! For sure that means a longer and healthier life for you!

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MELA1953 1/30/2011 11:29AM

    You don't have to think about 150.. Start with the goal of 180 and, if you feel you can do it, go for 170... You are right to think under 200 right now... We can do it!

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Another Amazing SparkDay!

Sunday, January 23, 2011

I've finally learned how to drink water! That might sound strange, but in my life, I've never downed enough water and looking back, I wonder how I survived. My liver must look like the Mojave Desert in Summer - all cracked and dried out.

But since joining SparkPeople, I have tried hard to drink the 8 glasses they highly suggest drinking, along with several other sources of good health practices, including my doctor.

Trying to do it and doing it are two different things, as everyone understands that story. But I've finally done it and it was so simple I don't know why it didn't fall in much earlier in my journey. All I did was drink 2 cups for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, plus, two breaks. I drink 1 cup at a time. It seems to be easier for my mind to accept. If I stack them up in a larger bottle, I am overwhelmed with it and won't drink it. Which is quite irritating and frustrating to me when I realize it's been sitting right beside me the entire time and I've reached around it, over it, and occasionally tried to reach through it, but still not put any of it inside my parched body. I have never felt thirsty, which is an enigma to my doctor and me now that I understand the process.

Anyway, for all you suffering the problems of not being able to drink your 8 cups of water every day, try this little and simple trick to you mind and give your body what it needs and wants but can't seem to communicate it to your brain. Make your system happy and, at the same time, make yourself happy, too. You're body will thank you in more ways than weight loss.

I wish all in SparkPeople grand success in reaching all your goals and dreams, health, wealth, and happiness.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DBFBILLY 2/2/2011 5:29PM

    I sooooo agree so agre with you on the water...it's something i knew i should have been doing, but had such a DIET COKE HABIT emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon so i've slowl weaned myself off! i know have a large water bottle i carry with me..even when going out to eat, to save on money to drink water instead of diet coke...and, i put put either crystal lite in it, or, some lemon, lime, or even a slice of an orange...in the spring and summer, i like to put a few frozen srawberries or pinapple pieces in it..so, that's what i've been doing and it's working!! emoticon It's taken me a long, long time to do this..now, when i do get a diet coke, it's a "treat" emoticon Hope all is welll

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1BEACHWALKER 1/27/2011 12:29AM

    I actually only drink water now. I used to hate to drink it over a year ago. After drinking so much soda pop all the time, it was a wonder I am not sicker than I am! You need it to flush out all the bad stuff and if not it could lead to UTI's or kidney and bladder problems (been there done that)! Good for you Pat-proud of you!!! Hope you achieve all your goals and dreams too! emoticon emoticon

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LINDYPAINTS 1/25/2011 7:03AM

    I am actually amazed at the difference drinking all my water makes to the way I feel. Yes, there are more bathroom visits, but my digestive system seems to be working SOOO much better than it used to and that can only be a good thing!

And I do believe it helps with weight loss, a lot!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MYSTERY4EVER 1/23/2011 3:51PM

    I realized that I was holding back from drinking so much water to avoid bathroom trips. I now know that was a mistake. The water really helps with the weight loss.

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MYSHANON 1/23/2011 11:38AM

    I keep bottled water at home (and don't buy soda, though the bf occasionally does and we try to restrict soda to one glass with dinner). At work I keep a 32 oz bottle and fill it from the water cooler. Drinking it a cup at a time seems a chore for some reason, but its easy to chug from water bottles. I usually have to refill the first bottle at lunchtime, the second is down by half or 3/4 by time to go home. I keep a bottle of water beside the bed and another within reach when I'm at my computer, so if I get thirsty its easier to grab that than get up and get something from the kitchen.

I've found that on days I have more soda than just a cup or can with dinner, my stomach aches and I feel like I've had too much sweet. It helps encourage me to drink water, lol... I like being able to enjoy a mtn dew or dr pepper once in a while with my meals.

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Frustration to the Max

Thursday, January 20, 2011

I am so FRUSTRATED! My doctor has me running for awhile to get my blood sugar levels down by losing weight. I have no problem with that. I was happily strolling along at 226 and I want to be less so I'll run for awhile. I made it down to 216 which is 1 pound short of my all time lowest point since graduating high school (I think). I had dreams of making my goal by my wedding anniversary this year, May 21.

Since Dec 23, 2010, I have been reducing my calorie intake as doctor ordered and doing more exercise. I walk a mile every day, including Sundays and holidays. I exercise for 10 minutes after every meal, which includes the 28-day Workout Bootcamp. I did a burst of exercise yesterday afternoon for 30 minutes (Palates). I was sure I would weigh less this morning. Yesterday I had weighed in at 219! How in the world? My DH suggested that I was building muscle which would cause a gain and was actually good. Not in my book. Not until I know the blood sugar levels are lower and I'm on the right track. Right now the goal is LOSE WEIGHT, not gain it for any reason.

So I was on 1200 calorie "diet" watching my carbs and trying to stay within the 30 carbs per meal limit I had originally learned and lost from 250 to 215 in the first place. Weigh in this morning = 218! GRRR! And that was after I had cut several hundred (that's right) calories off my original 1200. Yesterday, around 750 calories for the day, without looking back. My stats look kinda good from a certain perspective, everything is below mins. It's a little scary, though. I was looking back to the calorie counting 101 to make sure I wasn't using more calories than required for actually continuing to live. My goal was to lose as much weight as possible in a month, not kill myself. I could kill myself a lot easier by just sitting down, not do the exercises, no walking, no activity at all except to make it back to the kitchen and eat all the sugary gooie things I could find! (You know a few years ago, that was a tempting thought! Now it's disgusting! Thanks SparkPeople!)

Thanks to the doctor giving me pills to take, for the first time in my life, that kill the appetite, I have been able to cut the calories by several hundred for a few days. But the weight was creeping up. I felt like Rocky when I first went from 228 down 216 and now I feel so deflated. Is my body revolting and doing its own thing regardless of what I am trying to do. Doctor says take these pills and cut your calories and boost your exercise for a month, which is done next Wednesday morning. I've got one pill left and 7 days to lose 10 pounds, at the least, but I was hoping to make it more. Do I feel like Rocky anymore? Not unless I missed the part where he deflated down to a puddle of tears in the snow at the bottom of those granite steps.

I refuse to give up! I'm done in, right now, but I'm a winner and I will not give up! So there is nothing to do right now but get back up, dust myself off, and start all over again, running this time. So I'm frustrated, that's not the end of it! I'll overcome that later today when I know I've done everything I can, minus using a butcher knife to a few specific places of my body. UGLY THOUGHT! So, it's change the attitude and do whatever it takes (that is sane) to get to my goal, which right now is 215! I'll worry about the next step when I get there.

I guess I should be happy that I lost a pound yesterday and stop letting the whole goal get in my way. So I'll refocus my sights on 217 for tomorrow morning, then 216 for Saturday, and 215 for Sunday, and - hey! I could make 212 by Wednesday morning! That would be perfect because the doctor's scales are two pounds heavier than mine anyway which would put me at 214, one pound less than wanted. Okay, no need to get ahead of myself and set myself up for defeat! I'll focus on one pound loss for the next few days and give it my all. That's the best anyone can do. First step - stop crying! Second step - go eat breakfast!

Okay, new focus, new attitude, I'm going to win! I told you I was a winner. Guess I just needed to see it in front of my eyes! I wouldn't mind a little rooting from my friends along the way as I rush by. It sure would spur me on!

Have a grand one everyone! I'm going to have a super day today!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LINDYPAINTS 1/25/2011 7:01AM

    I'm sorry that you are not seeing results as soon as you would like... and you are not alone! There are some days I am SOOO frustrated that all my hard work has not achieved anything , it's such a downer! BUT the weight is coming off. It's slow ( painfully slow at times!) but the trend is definitely downwards so that's a positive - I hope you can see that for yourself too, Pat. I know you are trying and I am sure the doctor will see that too.
( As an aside, I have lost about 5 pounds so far this month and was feeling pretty happy about that, finally the scales are moving BUT.. then I read someone else's status and she has lost 10 pounds so far in January( and this is after her already losing more than 100 pounds overall!!!). Boy, was I peeved!
But I am not her and I can only do MY best, like you can only do YOUR best and try to be patient and try to believe that if you keep doing the right things, the weight will come off.

BTW- I too have considered ( and dismissed!) the idea of a sharp knife... LOL! emoticon

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KICKINGIT@56 1/21/2011 2:55PM

    Your frustration come through loud and clear and I do sympathize with you; BUT frustration will not help you reach your goals. It is a negative response which is fueled by and produces negative thoughts. Try to look at the bigger picture. Focus on what you have accomplished so far, not on what the scale says from day-to-day. It takes time for your metabolism to reach a new set point but it will happen if you stick with a reasonable diet and exercise plan. Too few calories will slow it down and too much or too vigorous exercise can lead to injuries which can leave you on the sidelines.

Perhaps you should incorporate some relaxation techniques into your daily routine to help deal with the frustration and help keep things in perspective. Just some deep breathing while listening to music or meditation on some uplifting or inspirational thoughts, or even focusing on the blessings in your life can make a big difference in how you feel and cope with things.

God bless you and don't lose hope.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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VANESSAVOS13 1/21/2011 10:46AM

    I refuse to give up! I'm done in, right now, but I'm a winner and I will not give up! - this is the only line that counts in the whole blog. We CAN do this despite the really crappy days that make us want to give up.
Thank you so much for the kind words on my blog, I really needed the encouragement yesterday.
I had to tell myself the same thing, step one STOP CRYING and step two PUT ON MY WORKOUT CLOTHES. I did it, and I feel much better today for it.
We can do this, one day at a time.

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MICHELER72 1/20/2011 10:57AM

    Your doctor is going to see that you have been working at it. Just because you don't see the results you want to see doesn't mean it isn't working. Your DH is most likely right - we all know muscle weighs more than fat. You are losing fat, but gaining muscle and it doesn't take a math whiz to figure out that adding more than you take away doesn't give you less. :) Did that make sense?? Keep up the good work - you are doing a far better job than you realize. emoticon

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1BEACHWALKER 1/20/2011 9:54AM

    I agree about your body will go into starvation mode if you do not eat enough! SP tracker will tell you if you are not doing it right! So keep track of all - exercise, & food, and it will flag you to adjust your calories! Never eat below 1200 - that is dangerous! Hang in there!

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MYSHANON 1/20/2011 8:54AM

    First off, you are amazing, try not to stress so much. If you're a pound or two over the Doc isn't going to scream at you (if he does, kick him in the shin for me). You're still steadily losing, and while weight is definitely a huge factor in blood sugar levels, the foods you eat are also an element. BF has his spark set to track glucose as well as calores and the rest. Both of his parents are diabetic, so he's extra careful and has his doc check regularly.

Plus, Hey, you aready passed My goal weight ;)

Don't forget, the faster you lose the easier it is to regain, and the greater risk of creepy skin flappy-ness (it can be surgically removed, but s its considered cosmetic insurance doesn't generally cover that). A healthy rate of loss is more important.

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    A couple of thoughts as I read your blog...

Are you taking any sort of medication that could cause you to retain water?

Are you drinking enough water daily?

Are you eating enough to keep your body out of starvation mode?

Try to focus on your wins...exercising daily, making your health a priority, having a feisty spark of an attitude :-)

You can do this, don't get caught up in what the scale says exclusively. You are becoming more healthy and fit every day!

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AR_SHARONKAY 1/20/2011 8:45AM

  emoticon It may not happen as fast as you want, but if you are persistent and consistent it will happen. I am sure with the exercise and healthy eating your blood sugar has gotten somewhat closer to normal! I only lost a pound this week, buy I did lose 1.25 inches from waist. Have you measured yourself. To see the inches drop may be a motivator for you til the pound start falling, it helped me this week.
emoticon Hang in there. Getting that blood sugar in line is the most important factor, and diet and exercise is the proper way. I will be rooting for you!!!!!!!!!!! Sharon emoticon emoticon

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SKUNKY4 1/20/2011 8:36AM

    emoticon. Sometimes our bodies have to just catch up to everything. I stayed at the same wt like what seemed to be forever and then one day it just started dropping. Another thing is you really can't eat too few calories either or your body goes into starvation mode and is afraid to give up any fat for fear of starving to death. Just make sure you get your calories with healthy food. I know you will succeed with this. Remember one pound at a time. We're here to emoticon you on. Keep up the good work!

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THENEWCINDY 1/20/2011 8:34AM

    Dont give up!!!

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My Spark Day!

Saturday, January 08, 2011

The other day I wrote about my Ah Day and since have decided it was a Spark Day! This morning I had another Spark Day!

I don't usually, correction, I never put my weight out there publicly but I guess now I have this feeling that it's important that others know I'm losing weight because of SparkPeople. Sure my doctor is pushing me and since I like this doctor and feel he is really good at what he's doing, I follow his instructions instead of wandering off to find another doctor. (Don't you hate having to find a new doctor? One thing against moving long distances.)

Back to the main subject - today I weighed in at 217! I have to say it, the lowest I've been in nearly three years is 215 so I only have 3 more pounds to beat that! After that, every pound I lose will be the lowest I've been in decades! Wow! I can do this!

Another SparkSurprise! I'm actually not in fear of failure! At the beginning, it was, "I don't know, I'm not sure I can do that." But now it's a positive, "I can do this?" I am so excited that I can hardly sit still, which is another point! The more I do this, the longer I'm with SparkPeople, the more I want to move! Goodbye sedintary life!

It seems to get easier - well at least until I run into another obsticle, but I've got friends that will show me how to get past that obsticle and I've got the strength to do it now so a pat on my back - even if it's my own, but ask me about SparkPeople and I've got a lot to say! (It's all "Great!" to quote a famous tiger.)

Have a grand one, SparkPeople!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KICKINGIT@56 1/18/2011 10:52PM

    I am so happy for you that you are reaping the fruits of your efforts. I think that success is the best motivator because it smashes the lies we tell ourselves about why we can't do something. Anticipating obstacles is the best way to prepare for them, so you won't be caught off guard.

I managed to get through the holiday season with only minor weight gain ( all of which has already been shed). That is the first time I have done so well during the holiday "fat" season so I know I am on the right track.

Focusing on each day as it comes will get you to your goal.

Don't hesitate to ask for support if you hit a particularly rough patch because we are all here to support each other.

God bless,

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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1BEACHWALKER 1/16/2011 5:32AM

    It is addictive-all of it! The exercise, eating right, counting calories, and most of all coming to SP everyday and spending time with friends like you! It is like getting a B-12 shot in the arm everyday to do sparking! I am also excited to see it through and I am here for the long haul - even after my goal weight is achieved! Congrats on the weight loss!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JAZZIELORI 1/8/2011 11:37AM

    WOW!!! You go girl! I love the way you can say I can do this! Frustration and helplessness is now gone!! Keep Sparking..I am going to subscribe to your blogs..I get the feeling that some of us who have lost their SPARK will be able to read your blogs and know WE CAN DO IT!

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LIFEISSWEET2 1/8/2011 10:33AM

    emoticon emoticon

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SBILLIAN 1/8/2011 9:56AM

    You really can do it! It's all about persistence, not perfection. Keep on, keepin' on!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SKUNKY4 1/8/2011 8:16AM

    Fear of failure was (and I say was) a big problem for me. I quit setting goals because I was afraid I wouldn't meet them. Well now I set goals and if I don't meet them right when I think I am suppose to, I just re access my plan and try something else. And there will be obstacles but together we will jump right over them. I know emoticon!

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JANETLP 1/8/2011 7:58AM

    I too, have reached the point of "no fear"! There is this assurance that is deep within me, saying, "I will do it, This Time!". God has really blessed us with this program and I feel so over-flowing with God's love and Promise that He will help me through this battle! I found your blog to be my thoughts today! Thanks!
Oh, those obstacles are just little bumps in our road to a new lifestyle. Take them with care and they won't throw you completely off course. Hit them without being careful, and you'll end up in a ditch.


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An AWESOME Day Sparking!

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

AWESOME! Absolutely awesome! This is my 1st Tuesday morning of 2011 and I know this is my year to reach goal - whatever it ends up being!

Here's what happened to me this morning, well part of it. I went to our community Tuesday morning coffee, saw a bunch of neighbors and made friends with some more that I have seen, but didn't know, volunteered to help serve coffee next Tuesday, came home, changed clothes, sat down to Spark and remembered I hadn't weighed in yet. I've started weighing everyday. I used to do it once a week because I hated the days, which were inevitable - stayed the same or gained a pound and then felt depressed. But now I do it everyday because I'm using it as a guide to my hard work! I lost another pound! WooHoo! But here's the AWESOME part - I wanted to go for a walk! What's so amazing about that? I always celebrated happy, sad, anything reasons with eating.

When it hit me that my first thought after the WooHoo Dance was to go for a walk, I nearly fainted. I sat down on the floor and said to the cat, "Can you beat that?" She tried to beat it, she jumped in my lap and kissed my chin! (That's not usually her, she's very standoffish!)

So my realization of my hard work paying off in more ways than one was absolutely AWESOME!!! All I can think of now is, "THANKS, SPARKPEOPLE! You're all so awesome and I need you all the time and you're always there! Thanks!"

Well, that walk is impatiently waiting in me so I have to get going! See you later! I wish you all AWESOME days!

emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MYSHANON 1/17/2011 12:01PM

    I weigh every day just to get an idea of what sort of habits are productive/non-productive (I knew after my halloween drinking binge that I was going to gain, and tracked each day until the gain stopped, so that I knew how much I had to fight back down to get on track again)... I only Record my weight once a week, just use the daily weigh as a guide and motivator.

I have a cloth tape measure thingy, but haven't figured out exactly where to use it... gonna find someone who knows and have them physically show me, cause reading online just tells me "measure here" and leaves room for confusion. (for instance, I wear pants with a higher waist band, so never know whether I should be measuring what I consider my waist, or lower down by my hips where most other folks wear their pants...) just so that I can track to see if I'm making any improvements there. Not likely yet cause I havent' visited my gym since before Thanksgiving, and still haven't figured out most of the machines (I love the treadmill tho...)


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EVWINGS 1/6/2011 3:31PM

    What a positive thing to have happened to you!


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MICHELER72 1/5/2011 8:19PM

    This is amazing!! I am so happy for you - you are already making changes without even realizing it until the afterthought. Congrats!! emoticon

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SBILLIAN 1/5/2011 12:51PM

    emoticon That's great!

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METAMORPHOSIS36 1/4/2011 5:51PM


What wonderful positive energy you have today! Keep it up!

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POLLYWANNA1 1/4/2011 4:43PM

    Yay! Small changes add up. The fact you lost over the holidays is a wonderful bonus.

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JANETLP 1/4/2011 1:47PM

    emoticon emoticon
Wish I had made that decision after yesterday's news. Gut, opted for a Fast Food stop after dr apt. emoticon

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WETPTARMIGAN 1/4/2011 12:56PM

    You're definitely a BRIGHT spark today!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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STARGLADE 1/4/2011 10:46AM

    YAY for you! I'm so happy to see you've caught the Spark big time!

I'm about to head down to the Wii, myself. Too cold to walk here, but I can get my butt moving with the aerobics games!

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