Thursday, January 20, 2011
I am so FRUSTRATED! My doctor has me running for awhile to get my blood sugar levels down by losing weight. I have no problem with that. I was happily strolling along at 226 and I want to be less so I'll run for awhile. I made it down to 216 which is 1 pound short of my all time lowest point since graduating high school (I think). I had dreams of making my goal by my wedding anniversary this year, May 21.
Since Dec 23, 2010, I have been reducing my calorie intake as doctor ordered and doing more exercise. I walk a mile every day, including Sundays and holidays. I exercise for 10 minutes after every meal, which includes the 28-day Workout Bootcamp. I did a burst of exercise yesterday afternoon for 30 minutes (Palates). I was sure I would weigh less this morning. Yesterday I had weighed in at 219! How in the world? My DH suggested that I was building muscle which would cause a gain and was actually good. Not in my book. Not until I know the blood sugar levels are lower and I'm on the right track. Right now the goal is LOSE WEIGHT, not gain it for any reason.
So I was on 1200 calorie "diet" watching my carbs and trying to stay within the 30 carbs per meal limit I had originally learned and lost from 250 to 215 in the first place. Weigh in this morning = 218! GRRR! And that was after I had cut several hundred (that's right) calories off my original 1200. Yesterday, around 750 calories for the day, without looking back. My stats look kinda good from a certain perspective, everything is below mins. It's a little scary, though. I was looking back to the calorie counting 101 to make sure I wasn't using more calories than required for actually continuing to live. My goal was to lose as much weight as possible in a month, not kill myself. I could kill myself a lot easier by just sitting down, not do the exercises, no walking, no activity at all except to make it back to the kitchen and eat all the sugary gooie things I could find! (You know a few years ago, that was a tempting thought! Now it's disgusting! Thanks SparkPeople!)
Thanks to the doctor giving me pills to take, for the first time in my life, that kill the appetite, I have been able to cut the calories by several hundred for a few days. But the weight was creeping up. I felt like Rocky when I first went from 228 down 216 and now I feel so deflated. Is my body revolting and doing its own thing regardless of what I am trying to do. Doctor says take these pills and cut your calories and boost your exercise for a month, which is done next Wednesday morning. I've got one pill left and 7 days to lose 10 pounds, at the least, but I was hoping to make it more. Do I feel like Rocky anymore? Not unless I missed the part where he deflated down to a puddle of tears in the snow at the bottom of those granite steps.
I refuse to give up! I'm done in, right now, but I'm a winner and I will not give up! So there is nothing to do right now but get back up, dust myself off, and start all over again, running this time. So I'm frustrated, that's not the end of it! I'll overcome that later today when I know I've done everything I can, minus using a butcher knife to a few specific places of my body. UGLY THOUGHT! So, it's change the attitude and do whatever it takes (that is sane) to get to my goal, which right now is 215! I'll worry about the next step when I get there.
I guess I should be happy that I lost a pound yesterday and stop letting the whole goal get in my way. So I'll refocus my sights on 217 for tomorrow morning, then 216 for Saturday, and 215 for Sunday, and - hey! I could make 212 by Wednesday morning! That would be perfect because the doctor's scales are two pounds heavier than mine anyway which would put me at 214, one pound less than wanted. Okay, no need to get ahead of myself and set myself up for defeat! I'll focus on one pound loss for the next few days and give it my all. That's the best anyone can do. First step - stop crying! Second step - go eat breakfast!
Okay, new focus, new attitude, I'm going to win! I told you I was a winner. Guess I just needed to see it in front of my eyes! I wouldn't mind a little rooting from my friends along the way as I rush by. It sure would spur me on!
Have a grand one everyone! I'm going to have a super day today!
Saturday, January 08, 2011
The other day I wrote about my Ah Day and since have decided it was a Spark Day! This morning I had another Spark Day!
I don't usually, correction, I never put my weight out there publicly but I guess now I have this feeling that it's important that others know I'm losing weight because of SparkPeople. Sure my doctor is pushing me and since I like this doctor and feel he is really good at what he's doing, I follow his instructions instead of wandering off to find another doctor. (Don't you hate having to find a new doctor? One thing against moving long distances.)
Back to the main subject - today I weighed in at 217! I have to say it, the lowest I've been in nearly three years is 215 so I only have 3 more pounds to beat that! After that, every pound I lose will be the lowest I've been in decades! Wow! I can do this!
Another SparkSurprise! I'm actually not in fear of failure! At the beginning, it was, "I don't know, I'm not sure I can do that." But now it's a positive, "I can do this?" I am so excited that I can hardly sit still, which is another point! The more I do this, the longer I'm with SparkPeople, the more I want to move! Goodbye sedintary life!
It seems to get easier - well at least until I run into another obsticle, but I've got friends that will show me how to get past that obsticle and I've got the strength to do it now so a pat on my back - even if it's my own, but ask me about SparkPeople and I've got a lot to say! (It's all "Great!" to quote a famous tiger.)
Have a grand one, SparkPeople!
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
AWESOME! Absolutely awesome! This is my 1st Tuesday morning of 2011 and I know this is my year to reach goal - whatever it ends up being!
Here's what happened to me this morning, well part of it. I went to our community Tuesday morning coffee, saw a bunch of neighbors and made friends with some more that I have seen, but didn't know, volunteered to help serve coffee next Tuesday, came home, changed clothes, sat down to Spark and remembered I hadn't weighed in yet. I've started weighing everyday. I used to do it once a week because I hated the days, which were inevitable - stayed the same or gained a pound and then felt depressed. But now I do it everyday because I'm using it as a guide to my hard work! I lost another pound! WooHoo! But here's the AWESOME part - I wanted to go for a walk! What's so amazing about that? I always celebrated happy, sad, anything reasons with eating.
When it hit me that my first thought after the WooHoo Dance was to go for a walk, I nearly fainted. I sat down on the floor and said to the cat, "Can you beat that?" She tried to beat it, she jumped in my lap and kissed my chin! (That's not usually her, she's very standoffish!)
So my realization of my hard work paying off in more ways than one was absolutely AWESOME!!! All I can think of now is, "THANKS, SPARKPEOPLE! You're all so awesome and I need you all the time and you're always there! Thanks!"
Well, that walk is impatiently waiting in me so I have to get going! See you later! I wish you all AWESOME days!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
I love SparkPeople and how it is constantly in a state of change. All Good Changes! I really don't want it to not change. Changing it for the better, changing it to keep up with all the new things that are being discovered about good health and fitness and all the issues that seem to go along with those two issues is the only way the site can stay strong, "new", and be of any use to all of us. I am sure it isn't easy, but they seem to do a great job of it.
I do have one suggestion on the Newsletter - Exercise of the Day! I really like this newsletter because it lets me see the exercises out there. I do my exercises at home and in a private exercise room with assorted machines that I don't know how to use, totally. I can't afford to hire a personal trainer. My suggestion is; could you please put a spot at the bottom of the newsletter that lets you add it to your fitness page workouts? It would be so much easier for us to add the exercises we like and think we can do to our workouts, and count them.
Thanks to the "SparkGuy" and whoever he has doing the website. Excellent Job and I still think our Chris Downie should be nominated and elected for the Pulitzer Prize because he's bringing the world closer and changing us to friends trying to live together in harmony, understanding, consideration, and friendship. Thanks for that alone, Chris. You really are appreciated by this SparkPerson.
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