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I didn't just fall off the wagon...I ate it.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

I have been wayyy off course the past couple of weeks. I gave myself some freedom for my birthday and it snowballed into the Vegas trip I took as well. I haven't gained weight, but I have lost 1 lb/week for the past 2 weeks, compared to the 4, 5, and 6 lb losses I had been seeing when I was on plan. I am committing myself to get back on program 100%, I am paying too much money and have come too far to do what I always have and give up and gain everything back plus more. Having a hard time motivating myself to do it since the first weeks were so unpleasant, but they were also my highest losses, so I am going to do this damnit! Hope everyone else is having a good week, I will report back next week and see how I did!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GOTESSA 7/10/2010 11:55PM

    Come back!!! Hopefully you are back on track! I'm on week two right now...and lemme tell ya, I know all about the unpleasantness *clenches cheeks* Hope we make contact and can support each other.

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DEPAULGIRL09 6/17/2010 11:15AM

    Great job coming back. Don't give up!!

emoticon

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KISMET10-3 6/17/2010 9:26AM

    Glad to hear that your detour hasn't made you give up! Keep the faith!

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KIWIFISH 6/17/2010 9:23AM

  A 1 to 3 pound loss per week is normal and healthy. Siginificaly more than 2 (like 5 or 6 pounds a week) is an unhalty rate of weightloss - which could have something to do with why you found the first weeks so unpleasant?

Really, I'd be damn proud of myself if I went way off course and still came up with a loss of any kind xD - don't be too hard on yourself.

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SPARKGIRL32 6/17/2010 9:08AM

    Awesome job coming back!!! You can do this!!

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AXISLADY 6/17/2010 9:01AM

    Isn't it funny (but not really) how this happens? We're doing so well, losing weight, and all of a sudden, we sabotage ourselves. I hate that.

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The Aftermath

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

So it was my birthday on Sunday, hooray!! And I let myself have one day of no calorie counting or tracking, to just "live". I was initally very apprehensive and a little scared to do it, since up until a month ago, I "just lived" myself all the way up to 266 pounds. I am now down 20 lbs since starting the Optifast program, and while that is awesome, the program is no joke and takes immense amounts of self-control, which I must say I had been in rather short supply of. So I had my day, which turned into two, which magically made it to 3 whole days off of my products and eating normal food. I have to say, while I am not proud of the fact that I went off plan for longer than I intended, I am impressed with myself for the fact that I did not go out of control like I normally would, and I am still down a pound this week!

I have also started to work out more consistently. I tried a spin class, which I must say I was hoping to like more. I literally felt like I was dying about halfway through it, and then noticed that there was a very nice looking gentleman BEHIND me. Translation: this tasty fellow had witnessed me heaving my large self off of and slamming it back down onto the devil spin bike for 45 mins before I realized he was there. UGH. Although this distressed me greatly at the time, I also noticed a change in myself. There was a time when I wouldn't have even tried spinning bc I didn't think I would be able to do it, but I went for it. And Mr. Sexyspinman was in all likelihood not too worried about what I was doing, and if he was I will never know.

So, moral of the story, I think I will explore some more classes and try to find some that I really like so I will actually look forward to going and have some variety to my workouts. Next goal is to get back to the C25K I had started a few months ago. I really enjoyed it and one of my long term goals is to get into good enough shape that running will be my go to and enjoyable source for cardio.

I hope everyone has had a fabulous week so far! Keep fighting the good fight, we will all get there, one pound at a time!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MILNE81 5/26/2010 2:49PM

    We all have that Mr. Sexyspinman or Mr. Sexystepman or Mr. OMGguyonthetreadmillnexttomeisHOT! at the gym. I was afraid of trying aerobics classes at first because I knew I'd be the biggest person in the class and was afraid people would look at my funny. But I sucked it up and tried it and everyone has been great. I get encouragement from people who I've never met and I realize I will never be Mrs. Sexyspinlady if I don't get my butt moving!

So find that class you LOVE or challenge yourself to keep going to spin until it doesn't feel like death!

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Birthday weeeeek :)

Thursday, May 20, 2010

So this week I lost 4 lbs, which is pretty good considering I was all over the place. I definitely feel like I am in ketosis, so my hunger level has been pretty low, which you would think would be awesome, but the ketosis combined with my night shift work schedule made it hard to get in all my calories, so I think I was actually eating too few. Story of my life, I finally reign in my eating, and now I'm not eating enough! I make no sense! So this week I am going to really focus on getting in my minimum calories, and then am going to work out something FIERCE becaaaaauuusee it is my BIRTHDAY on Sunday!!! Yay!!! So I have given myself permission to have a few drinks and eat some non-Optifast food that day. I am going to plan ahead and then go hard at the gym to keep the damage to a minimum. I think having the cheat day will give me a renewed energy to keep going for the next 12 weeks on plan.

I am about ready for TOM, so I think I'm holding onto extra water, hence not seeing a bigger loss. I also really struggled to stay positive. I found an article about "diet rage", and it was like someone wrote it just for me haha! I had to really fight the negative thoughts that were popping up, feeling like I should be losing so much more with how much I am giving up, instead of being happy with an awesome 4lb loss!

So this week I am going to work on two things: positive self-talk and taking things one day at a time, and getting in at least 180 mins of dedicated exercise. I am a work in progress but I can feel things changing! I am 20 lbs lighter on this birthday than I was on my last one, and that is certainly something to celebrate!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TWISTEDFISH 5/21/2010 4:05AM

  Happy Birthday and congrats!!

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ERNOINACTION 5/20/2010 12:23PM

    Great job losing 20! That's so exciting. I hope you have a great birthday! Best,

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STEVENGO2 5/20/2010 11:43AM

    Happy pre-birthday and emoticonon that weight lose!

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Feeling good! Woot!

Friday, May 14, 2010

So after my mini binge and freak out at only seeing a 0.5 loss on the scale on Monday, I weighed in at group and am down 3 pounds!! Yay! We also did a body composition reading. Oy. Apparently I am 49.6% fat. So I am literally half fat. That is truly frightening. But, instead of beating myself up like I normally would, I am deciding to take it in stride and am excited for the next reading at week 18 because I know there will be a BIG difference!

This week starts the war on the jiggle. 49.6% body fat, meet the gym. Gym, meet my jiggly parts. I am actually looking forward to starting to work out, because I know this will bump up my loss big time. The leader at group last night said the best record they've ever had was someone losing 80 pounds in the 16 week fast period, and that person exercised a lot. My goal is to beat that record and possibly lose 85, which would mean I would need to average a loss of 6 lbs per week. I think I can I think I can! So I have a calender and have highlighted the days for myself that I am going to the gym, and I am going to look at them just like I look at my work schedule, not optional!

I am definitely noticing a change in how I feel. I feel so much more positive and excited for what's to come. I am feeling myself heading back to the state of mind I used to be in before life got so crazy and the choices I made led me to such a depressing and stressful place.

Well I hope anyone reading this has a fabulous week! Stay positive and always always believe in the power of YOU! Can't wait to see what the scale says next week!

  


Ugh

Monday, May 10, 2010

So after chugging along for a few solid days, I definitely cheated AGAIN. Only this time it seems to have impacted the scale. After losing seven pounds the first week, I weighed myself at work tonight and am only down 0.5 lbs!! I think it's probably bc I ate super salty (and delicious...sigh) Chinese food Saturday night. Not a full meal, but a mini one. It's hard to be at my parents' house, bc they are all eating normally, and I don't want them to feel uncomfortable, but I am also starting to see how things ended up the way they have for me. It's hard to be satisfied with a shake when what you want is right in front of you!

I have been having super intense cravings lately, and instead of riding them out like we talked about at group, I gave in and went right into a mini-binge. This sucks big time but hopefully if I am militant over the next two days I will see some improvement at my weigh-in. I also lost my damn program binder, with my starting weight and full name, along with my medical record number! I can't quite tell you the discomfort it brings me to know that someone out there knows what I weigh, and yet for some reason, it's like a motivation to NEVER be there again so it won't be true, if that makes any sense at all. You would think I might be a smiidge more concerned with my MRN being out there, but sadly I am not.

Ok, pity party is officially over. If nothing else this highlighted to me that I am the one in charge of what goes in my mouth. Period. End of story. And I am back on the straight and narrow to continue the fight!

  


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