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Where the H have you been?

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

All the Bikram, all the time. I finished my 30 day challenge last night.

If you'd like to read my recaps, check out my other blog.

I'm so glad that I completed that challenge. It was difficult; one of the hardest things I've ever done - and I did it for myself.

I couldn't be more proud. Or more relieved that it's over!

Last night, I did a double to complete my challenge and when the instructor recognized me in front of the class and gave me my medal, I cried a little. (Of course - I cry at everything).

Now that I'm done with my challenge, my body has decided to give me a big EFF YOU and I am now sick, exhausted, and sore. And to be honest, a littttttle bummed I'm not in class tonight, but I'm also thrilled to have the break.

I think my butt looks better - I'll take a picture of that when I'm feeling better emoticon.

I'll weigh in and measure tomorrow or Thursday; but to be honest, I don't particularly care. I'm so thrilled that I accomplished this that nothing else matters. As soon as I'm well again, I will be starting half marathon training. I'm three weeks behind but I think Bikram has kept my cardio endurance and leg strength up enough to pick up next week.

I quit vicodin during the Bikram challenge. I only smoke very occasionally socially. I don't drink alone during the week or even on the weekends. I replaced bad coping mechanisms with going to yoga, and that's a great accomplishment.

My personal life is complicated - I'm still seeing Mr Chef and I met someone new also (this is within the "rules" of the thing with Mr Chef) - and I'm trying to find balance in this situation as well. I like Mr Chef, our "thing" isn't going anywhere, but I can't give him up. I'm not even sure I like the other person as much, but it's hard to tell when your heart's somewhere else I guess.

Basically, I'm fine, I'm better than fine - I'm great. But today, I am sick and I am tired. Work has been crazy so I haven't been able to keep up on SP like I usually do (bad employee, I know). I'm thinking of y'all but haven't read up on any of you because Life.

Thank you all for your encouragement and support and checking in on my butt and my challenge. I did it!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EGRAMMY 11/3/2012 9:51PM


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ERTSMOM 10/31/2012 11:51AM

    CONGRATULATIONS on completing your 30day Bikram Challenge. I'm proud of YOU.

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JESSNSTONE 10/31/2012 11:04AM

    Way to go on completing your challenge!!!

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SOUTHPONDCAMP 10/30/2012 10:26PM are cheating on us with another blog? whatever.

Awesome work completing your challenge! Happy for you and I hope you feel better tomorrow.


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DANE02 10/30/2012 9:35PM

    Love your blog...your passion and honesty! You are doing great...keep up the strong work.

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Today, I had two classes.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Did I mention before the first class, I stepped on the scale at the studio. I no longer think itís a vanity scale, let me tell you. Thatís all Iím going to mention about that.

I was in a hot spot in the studio at 10am, and had to leave when my vision started to black out. My knee was hurting very badly so I didnít too more than half the standing series because it required locking my knee. Lots of sitting. I wasnít able to do a good portion of the floor series either. I cursed my name for signing up for this challenge. I contemplated making all sorts of excuses to not complete my double today. Just one. Just this one. After class, I put my mat in a prime spot on the cooler side of the room and went home to change and hydrate before going to the 1pm.

1pmís class was a pleasant surprise. I thought there was going to be an instructor I havenít had before but it was Shyam again. I set my goal for class to try each posture once. He reminded me to let it go after each set. I felt like it was just me and him in the room. I did Triangle TWICE. I did Camel TWICE. I can feel my pranayama breathing getting deeper, more focused. I get more and more lightheaded and come right back out of it into more energy and focus.

This afternoon was a strong class.

I thought that my right knee was bothering me in a bad way, that maybe itís on the verge of dislocating again. Obviously, this is a very big concern. I canít afford to lose my knee again. The bottom of my right foot is hurting very badly, also. Hopefully itís not a plantarís wart or plantarís fasciitis. Either way, I wonít find out until after the challenge is over. Maybe Iíll end up walking the next half marathon. I hope not.

I have a lot to be proud of, a lot to work toward. Like Shyam reminds us every day, every day is a good day, every class is a good class, every practice is a good practice. Itís just going to class and giving it my all. Sometimes my all is different than the practice before, but I just keep moving on.

OperationChocolateMilf shared some advice she got from class to engage the core during more postures and this has really helped me to stay balanced in Standing Head to Knee and other one legged postures. My Standing Bow is improving. I only fell out like three times! Iím really working on focus and my breath, engaging my core, locking my knees, keeping my shoulders, hips, knees in one line.

Another tomorrow.

18/30 completed.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PHXJAZZ 10/24/2012 3:41PM

    Two classes!! I'm impressed. I can't even get thru one - yet. emoticon

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ERTSMOM 10/21/2012 10:56PM

    I'm proud of you for sticking to your plan of making today a double. I'm sorry to hear you're having trouble with your knee/foot but I know you'll do what you need to do.

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We now return to our regularly scheduled programming

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Since I stayed home last night, I am now staring THREE DOUBLES in the face. I contemplated making that four by staying home tonight. I do not want to go. I want to sit at home forever and wallow. H moved to Chicago today. Both of my best friends are gone now.

Everyone else always moves first.

Yes, I am sad and whiny. Work was also awful. Remind me next time my boss asks how things are going to just tell her theyíre all fine and not to tell her about any actual problems unless I have a dissertation prepared with supporting examples and a counter argument for any questions that might arise.

Queue the bingeing. Queue many negative thoughts.

I just want to sit at home and wallow. Did I mention that? I think that means I really have to go to bikram. Maybe Iíll accidentally stay and do a double tonight. What better way to wallow than to become a puddle of sweat in a smelly yoga studio, amirite?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MELLYBEANS0919 10/20/2012 11:30AM

    emoticon emoticon

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ERTSMOM 10/19/2012 11:39PM

    hang in there and keep at it. you never know when/where you'll find another forever friend!

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LISA1101 10/19/2012 10:36AM

    The hardest thing to do is get out of bed/off the couch/up off the floor next to the pizza box emoticon and get dressed emoticon and get out of the house emoticon After that you can do anything!! emoticon

emoticon emoticon

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Yesterday, I did not have a class.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Iíll be doubling up Saturday and Sunday this upcoming weekend. Iím not sure how Iíll afford bikram next month, or if I really should try. These last few weeks have been amazing but $120 is a lot, especially when you donít have much to begin with.

The boy came over Saturday night and we cuddled til the afternoon Sunday, then I was off to my friendís going away party, so no bikram fit in. Iím okay with it though, because I want to complete my challenge without missing out on everything in my life.

My whole body is sore though, and I firmly believe itís because I didnít go yesterday after the insanity that was Saturdayís class.

Tonight, I run three miles with Sam as we begin our half marathon training journey and then I go to bikram. And I can barely walk across the office.

Should be interesting.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ERTSMOM 10/16/2012 9:52AM

    You are making great strides in your healthy lifestyle journey! Your ability to balance your health and your social life is admirable as well. I'm happy to read that you're listening to your body and taking a break when necessary.

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Today I had a class

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Ok a few things on today:

Itís really freaking difficult for me to not weigh myself today but I put the damn thing away. AWAY. I have a pretty raginí appetite today so I might have lied about not having one earlier this week.

I had a class. The instructor commented that people hadnít written down goals on the sign-in sheet so I went back and wrote one.

Focus on me.

In other words, donít look around at everyone else in the class. Donít focus on what the instructor is doing. Just listen to her. Look in the mirror. Look at your knee. Look at your stomach. Look where youíre supposed to look. I did a good job at this. I looked over at the pregnant lady in awe once. And I looked out the window at the guys who were peeking in at us once and gave them a dirty look but other than that I mostly maintained my focus.

I attempted all the poses once. I really hate bow. And standing bow. Pretty much any one legged pose sucks because my feet pronate out so badly and I donít tighten up enough and I fall out as Iím coming down. I donít even get into that pose before I fall out. So frustrating.

But I managed tree without falling out and standing head to knee (which for me means I donít put the lifted foot back down on the floor as opposed to actually getting both knees anywhere near locked).

Eventually, in the future, I believe things will get better and I will manage deeper expressions of the postures. I just have to keep working, keep maintaining my stillness, keep breathing.

13/30. I still hate locust. It makes me want to cry but this time I didnít entirely. I didnít have as bad of cramps as I thought I would and I do feel better. I celebrated with a salad consisting of romaine, cucumber, red bell pepper, and cottage cheese. My shoulder hurts pretty badly so I think I might need to rest a bit on standing bow and eagle but we will see how Iím feeling in 24 hours.

Another tomorrow.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ERTSMOM 10/15/2012 10:20AM

    You're doing a great job! emoticon

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EGRAMMY 10/13/2012 11:10PM

    I am impressed at what you are doing. Keep it up.

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MELLYBEANS0919 10/13/2012 6:08PM

Hope the shoulder is better soon.

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PJBONARRIGO 10/13/2012 4:51PM

    I'm impressed that you put the scale away. I also loved your goal "Focus on me". I might have to borrow that one. I'm using "Keep my eyes on my own paper" LOL
It sounds like you are really making progress with your Yoga practice. The poses are a challenge, but it is worth it. I hope your shoulder feels better soon, take care :-)

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