FITMOMMA4LIFE   20,323
SparkPoints
20,000-24,999 SparkPoints
 
 
FITMOMMA4LIFE's Recent Blog Entries

Day 56-I Just Don't Give A Hoot Anymore!

Monday, July 09, 2012

That's right you heard me right I don't give a hoot anymore...about what people may or may not be thinking about me! I have spent so many years being way to conscious of what I think people are thinking when really they probably are not really thinking about me anyway. I mean I am not that important that I would register in a random strangers thoughts I am not Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes for gosh sakes. I must have believed for years that I was some big important movie star, scientist, or maybe an astronaut because I have avoided doing things, wearing things, and much more because I believed people were judging me, secretly laughing at me, or whispering about me. WOW was I cocky ! I will let you all in on a little secret that I have learned after 56 days NOBODY REALLY CARES WHAT YOU ARE DOING! WOW just that thought that realization is so freeing it is like lifting boulders off of my shoulders. I have really embraced the concept of not giving a hoot anymore and I have been enjoying my summer with my daughter Gracie. We have went swimming at the lake, the neighbors pool, and the city pool! Does anyone realize how good it feels to be swimming again?!? If anyone doesn't know the answer it feels AWESOME! I have also been wearing capri's with tennis shoes to work because really who wants to wear pants when it is 104 degrees out. I have also been wearing tank tops, shorts, and pretty much doing things that I have been to ashamed or embarrassed to do for so many years. I am not losing the pounds as quickly as I would hope and that is frustrating, but I am not letting my size bog me down anymore. Gosh Darnit I am on a journey and I am going to enjoy that journey in a tank top! Lets face it it may take me years to lose the weight and that sucks, but I am not going to wait years to do things like wear tank tops and swim nope I am going to do them now. Plus along the way I am going to like who I am and what I look like right now because that is important too. I like who I think I will be when I am skinny, but I need to like who I am when I am fat too because really the skinny girl won't be happy unless the fat girl gets happy!

On a side note I found my wedding ring, or actually my daughter did on the bottom of a laundry basket. Though the day she found my wedding ring I lost my cell phone with all 1,000 pictures of Gracie that I didn't have backed up :(

Have a Great Day Everyone And Remember to Not Give A Hoot Anymore!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SKY2012 7/11/2012 1:09AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CORTNEY-LEE 7/9/2012 10:16PM

    emoticon

Bravo! I am so happy for your epiphany!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SETAGOAL1 7/9/2012 4:52PM

    You have not given up on yourself. You now know you are the only one that can make it happen for you.

You have the power to succeed or fail.

You have chosen to succeed.

Few baby steps complete a long journey

Writing is progress!!!

Janet- emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MENNOLY 7/9/2012 2:18PM

    emoticonLife is for living and enjoying! When you are happy everything is easier! Keep the great attitude and tell Gracie to find your phone. She seems to have a knack.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BIGDOG1969 7/9/2012 10:45AM

    Very well put! I like your attitude. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


Day 41-Enjoying vacation minus losing my wedding ring!!

Sunday, June 24, 2012

On day 4 of my vacation and I have gotten a lot done and even had time to relax! I have even been practicing my hula hooping skills!

Joined my first 5k virtual walk that starts the last week of July which means it's time to get my butt in gear! Looking forward to the race and the training. Lately my workouts have been house cleaning and walking Gracie down to the pool. Even trying to stay involved with my team sparkpage!

I have been meeting many NWL goals this past couple weeks. I have been logging on daily and getting as many sparkpoints as possible in each day. I have also been posting to the message boards daily. Another goal is to start drinking green tea on a daily basis.

A tragedy that occurred this weekend is that while cleaning my house I have lost my wedding ring emoticon. This makes me extremely sad because after a year of separation we were mending fences and I had put my ring back on, and now it's gone. I am just so upset that it's gone I have felt on the verge of tears all day. I know it's just a ring but it meant the world to me.

Anyways this week I am going to work on my fitness and eating goals. I want to really nail down what makes me tick, so I will be journaling continuously this week to find patterns. Wish me luck!

emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MENNOLY 6/24/2012 8:44PM

    I know how you feel. I lost my engagement ring 20 years ago and never found it. Hopefully you will find it where you least expect it.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MISSDAISY23 6/24/2012 7:17PM

    I am very sorry to hear you have lost your ring while cleaning house. Hey, I hope you will find it when you are not looking so hard. Best of luck in everything! Take care!
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


Day 35-Back to finding a new normal

Monday, June 18, 2012

Last Wednesday I came home from work all amped up to do some 10 min workouts with Coach Nicole. I love those 10-20 min workouts on SparkPeople they help give me the change up that I need so I don't get bored. I was just lacing up my shoes when my daughter came into my room complaining of a belly ache. Felt her head and sure enough she had a fever. I checked her temp with a thermometer and she was 103. This of course was just the fun beginning by Thursday night she was burning a steady 105 which continued until Saturday, and by Sunday she was down to 102 in the A.M. and finally back to a nice 98.7 by late evening. Needless to say the last 4-5 days have not been about me. I haven't gotten the sleep that I require since I was up every 1hr checking temps, giving meds, starting baths, and recooling compresses. Not to mention going to the drs office to get poked and prodded. I didn't eat as well as I should have it was grab and go when I remembered and sometimes stuffing something not so good into my mouth because I was soooo hungry. The important thing is that Gracie is feeling better the full body rash she developed is even starting to fade, and that is the most important thing in my world. Am I frustrated about my actions yes, but I understand that some of my actions could have been prevented and some were out of my control.

I have no doubts in my mind that this journey is down right frustrating. I want to be all or nothing girl, I want to take diet pills, sign up for gastric bypass, buy whatever miracle is out there to make this journey speedy. The thing is I could do all of those things and maybe have quick and speedy weight loss, but I know that I wouldn't be able to maintain that weight loss....yet. I am still trying to sort out why I let myself get to this size, why I turn to food when I am stressed or sad, why I feel so inadequate when I look at myself in the mirror. I used to think being skinny was the answer to all of my problems. That if I was skinny I would love the girl in the mirror, I would be happy, have no problems with food, and life would be perfect. I can't say that I believe that anymore and I know that I must take the long frustrating journey to find the answers so I can make a life long change. I'm not fully there and I have my days where I am less then perfect but I am getting better at recognizing when I slip away from my goals so that I can tweak myself a little bit more.

I guess I am just hoping that I can find a new normal. I want my new normal to mean that I workout out 3-5 times a week, make healthy eating choices, start liking the girl I see in the mirror right now, and I would like my new normal to mean that I don't feel so frustrated on this journey. I guess these are my new short term/long term goals that I need to post where I can see them. I hope this journey gets easier but I know that since I am on day 35 and haven't given up even when I have slipped it's a good sign. Oh and I almost forgot I need to be blogging more! It really is helpful to blog about my day and I actually feel that I am held accountable because I don't want to disappoint! I feel at home on SparkPeople and the people I have met are truly one of a kind great people, so thank you my fellow Sparkers for welcoming me into this community!

Have a Great Day!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MENNOLY 6/18/2012 7:13PM

    Take every day one at a time. Each day is the first one in the rest of your life. A clean slate that you can write on as you like. Every time you make good choices you will find it easier to continue to make good choices. Remember you are doing it for Gracie!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SETAGOAL1 6/18/2012 12:51PM

    You have not given up on yourself. You now know you are the only one that can make it happen for you.

You have the power to succeed or fail.

You have chosen to succeed.

Few baby steps complete a long journey

Writing is progress!!!

Janet- emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


Day 28-One step forward 2 steps back

Monday, June 11, 2012

Well here I am almost a full month into Sparking! Woot Woot! I have learned a valuable lesson about myself from Day 15 to Day 28 I may have been able to keep at bay all or nothing girl, but I can do it without tracking girl is still rearing her head. I got cocky plain and simple I was doing great getting my workouts in, tracking my food, blogging daily, and I was doing great with my sparkstreaks but then I thought hey I can do this without tracking I got this! No I don't got this I failed at keeping track of my goals because I wasn't paying attention. Did I know how many calories I ate in a day nope but I ASSUMED I was in my daily range, did I track my exercise for my calories burned nope but I ASSUMED I was burning plenty. I assumed which means I made an ass out of u and me. I have realized that this is why I have gotten to the size that I am I just blindly go through my days believing that I am making right choices. I am glad that I was present and realized that I have this side of me because now I can deal with her.
In fact I introduced myself to her last night and after making pleasant conversation I advised her that I am the boss of this journey and she needs to get in the backseat!

I find it amazing how many different sides I have that combined form ME! I like getting to know me and what I have to offer. I like learning how to deal with certain aspects of me without giving in and losing sight of my goals. This is a fun journey with no deadlines or due dates it will be a never ending journey. I don't feel bad that I lost sight of my goals for almost 15 days because what I consider important is that I finally recognized the self destructive path I was on and jumped immediately back on the Spark Train! I didn't wait until next week or after my birthday because that is not what this journey is about.

On other exciting news my daughter watched MOSTMOM1'S hooping videos and now she wants to start hooping like them! She was so amazed by some of the tricks that we had to go outside and start practicing right away. I am not a hooper...yet. I can barely keep it around my waist, but Gracie wants me to hoop with her so what the heck it looks fun!

Have a great day! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RADAZZLE 6/12/2012 7:10PM

    I think the most important thing here is that you learned something really invaluable - that a mistake can be a valuable learning experience. Instead of beating yourself up over getting offtrack, you faced your behaviors and saw what you needed to do to move forward towards your ultimate goal! emoticon emoticon



Report Inappropriate Comment
03BFISCHER 6/11/2012 1:17PM

    Good for you! Being able to step back and recognize is an important part of the journey. There are going to be days and weeks where we trip and fall, especially in the beginning. Important thing is to recognize it, learn from it, and grow. One meal at a time, one workout at a time, one day at a time, one week at a time. Small changes lead to big changes.

emoticon

And good for you for trying something new with your daughter!!!

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


Day 15-Pretty sure my period will kill me!!!

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH yes screaming that is what I feel like doing today! If I didn't have neighbors I would scream and scream and scream in the corner the entire day! I don't know what women did to deserve such pain but if I ever find out I will hunt them down! Yes I am talking about my period it is awful this month and the cramps I am pretty sure were less painful during labor. I am exhausted, in pain, bloated, and yes very very moody!

I feel like I should call my job and inform them that I have my period and that everyone should avoid eye contact with me today because I may just snap! Lets be honest everyone at work keeps track of my monthly cycle and walks carefully around the end of the month! I want to read that last sentence and then let out a really evil laugh like bwahhahahahahah, but I know that it's not really that funny. I need to go to the doctor and see if anything can be done to tame the beast that only comes once a month before I land up in jail lol...no seriously :)

This is my first night shift for my new hours so I have been home all day. I have 2 rooms and a hallway cleaned, I went to view a daycare for Gracie, and the bag of Doritos is still alive a little damaged but alive. I didn't work out today like I should have but I am counting mood swings and house cleaning as a workout! I also haven't been great with calories but I don't think I will go over my limit I am just eating things I haven't been eating today.

Honestly I am too crabby to write this blog today so I hope that everyone has a great day, and hopefully tomorrow will be better for me!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CORTNEY-LEE 5/29/2012 8:49PM

    I feel your pain sister!!

I was subjected to the worst period I have had since high school when I got my Implanon.

The worst part is now, after WLS I am restricted to taking Tylenol which doesn't do diddly-poo!

I work night shift too!! In fact, that is where I am right now... at work! I am on my "break" though, which is just me taking a few down mins at my desk to check out Spark.

Anyway, I hope your lady stuff gets better!



Report Inappropriate Comment


1 2 3 Last Page