Monday, December 08, 2008
Nothing seems to be certain in life.. Nothing.. The good weather that you enjoy today might be different tomorrow... The good job you enjoy today might be someone else's tomorrow.. and the good health that you enjoy today might overturn tomorrow...
Likewise I have been going up and down with my health for the past few months... and here I am again.. OK.. I'll confess what's happening with me.. My periods got delayed last month and after about 9-10 days delay and elevated waking temperatures, my dh and I decided that we do a pregnancy test.. On the day of Thanksgiving, we did a pregnancy test and the strip came up with a super duper light line so we weren't sure of what's happening... The instructions said that if there was a line no matter what the intensity was, it is a positive test. We were confused and unsure but also excited...
After a slow walk the next evening, I started getting cramps in the lower left abdomen. The pain increased when I went to bed and the next morning I woke up with brown/black spotting.. We did some reading and found that some amount of spotting is normal during pregnancy.. But this kept on coming and I was bleeding as if I got my periods, when we began to think that it was only a delayed periods and not pregnancy... But unusually and unfortunately, I didn't stop bleeding after the 3rd or 5th day but also had severe cramps and pain for about 3 days which kept me awake from my sleep..
Wondering if I had a miscarriage, I called my gynecologist's office and told the nurse what I was undergoing.. She ordered for a pregnancy test that evening.. When the results came two days later, I was still bleeding but the pain had come down, she said that the test was positive but the hormone level wasn't so high so they wanted to take another test in a couple days... Today is the 10th day and I am still bleeding.. I was in the doctor's office today for labs to be taken.. They were going to measure the hCG levels and progesterone levels to see the trend of the numbers.. If the pregnancy hormone levels were going up, then it is still a pregnancy, if it declines, I am probably having a miscarriage.. She said it might take 2 days for them to get the results.. and it will be the 12th day if I am still bleeding.. and did I say that I am planning for a vacation trip to India from the 16th, ie, the next Tuesday - 1 week from today..
GOD.. I wish things will go smoother and my health gets better... I hope I don't bleed more than what I am supposed to which could make me tired and anemic.. Please GOD I pray that everything gets back to normal before I leave for my trip next week.. The holiday season didn't begin well for me.. I hope it concludes well.. and with all these I don't even think of taking a walk and the nurse asked me to take it easy until the results are back.
I still don't know the reason behind the miscarriage/bleeding.. I somehow feel responsible for all these.. I begin to blame on the walk that I had that evening.. Was it a coincidence that I got the cramps after the walk or did the walk induce a miscarriage? I am still not convinced that it is the walk because everyone that I talked to and all the articles that I read in the internet didn't say anything about walking or normal activities.. infact I wasn't doing anything rigorous.. Will I ever come to know the true reason? But for now I am trying not to move a lot which ironically is against my December goal... huh !