FITITGIRL   41,837
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Monday, March 29, 2010

Thanks to all my fellow sparkers for the wonderful wishes and lovely goodies on my 2nd year Spark Anniversary.. You don't have an idea how much it meant to me.. During this tough phase in my career and health, it is soothing to see how many friends I have in this world that doesn't judge me or nag me for anything but provide only pure support... So thanks again and I hope to have many more years here at SP with you all..

Love you all !!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

*MADHU* 3/29/2010 11:58AM

    emoticon emoticonon your emoticon

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SPECPAPA 3/29/2010 8:17AM

    Did I hear fanfares and the distant roll of drums, perhaps a 21 gun salute with a few sky rockets to illuminate the dark.
It's not the fourth of July, oh it must have been your Spark anniversary.


As you were, carry on, as they say in the Navy. Mission accomplished!

Next Mission. Repeat.

Love ya emoticon

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PALEAN 3/29/2010 7:33AM

    I'm relatively new, and treading lightly through the sight in some areas, but I was struck by your blog. How supported you feel, and how the people on Spark seem so genuine and as you noted, they aren't judging. It's hard to find sometimes in the day to day circle, but reading your blog, (congrats on 2 years) encourages me that this may be a safe place to be real. Thanks for sharing a piece of your experience.

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Opening up!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

I knew I was trying to be reserved and keep up the moodiness to myself.. But how will I get help if I don't ask? So here I am opening myself.. I have been telecommuting to work for almost a year now.. Things went on well until about 2 months back.. My boss spent enough time with me and she even communicated the tiny teeny details and we were in sync.. For the past couple months now, things don't go as usual.. I really like my job.. It keeps me less stressed than my previous job.. But now during the meetings, I feel that she hasn't been showing much interest in our conversation.. She hasn't conveyed much project information to me which my other team mates know and work on.. In our team meetings, they continue to talk on something that I don't even have an idea of.. Sometimes she has been multi tasking or talking with someone other team member at the other end.. I feel like being ignored.. At first I thought that she was busy and it was just that day.. But I see that it has been happening continuously for now.. What do I do? Is this a side effect of telecommuting?

I am not sure if she is giving me a hint that I should start looking for a different job.. Meetings become too stressful to me these days.. And I get depressed after the meetings not knowing what to do... Being ignored is a bad thing and yes, I feel like I am being ignored.. Should I talk to her about this? My inner feeling says that she might say that she was busy and did not do it on purpose.. To her I may be just one of her sub-ordinates, but to me its my job and career.. This morning I didn't even feel like waking up and going to work.. But then I kept telling myself "Do your work and leave the rest to GOD".

I just had to vent.. Thanks for reading!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SONPARI1 3/26/2010 12:44AM

    Communication is the best way to solve your pbm, if you don't talk to her, you may never knw the reason if there are any, and if you talk, she may also knw that she is doing something that's hurting u,. For all you knw, she may not even be aware of it(possibility), Instead of mental calculations and stressing urself about it, it's better you talk over and have peace of mind.
Good luck and keep us posted on this issue.

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ATMANI 3/25/2010 2:20PM


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MONARCHCT 3/25/2010 10:03AM

    I think you are getting great advice. But I would certainly start looking at other opportunities. Things are only good or bad by comparison. It will make your decision easier.

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PLATINUM755 3/25/2010 8:40AM

    Different example, of course, but SPECPAPA has summed it up nicely...if you have a question/concern, take the steps to get your answer emoticon

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  Fititgurl - I have been telecommuting for 4 years - I only expected to be doing it for two or three and am in the middle of a communication crisis of my own. (This one is that I'll do all the work that everyone else decides it too trivial for them which has been happening off and on for 4 years.)

SPECPAPA's advice is spot on.

However, I know that it does not help with the not wanting to get up and go to work or the just general sense of dread that doesn't go away because you can't necessarily step out of the office even when you "get home." What I can tell you (and unfortunately is not an easy fix) is that it will pass. The talk you have with your supervisor will either help you make a decision (or you can decide not to have the talk and keep going that way) - I've done both in my time and both of them have their good sides and bad sides.

What I will suggest is focusing on something besides work right now - a hobby, baking a killer banana bread, planning for a holiday. It is all too easy to let your self worth get wrapped up in your job (even more so when you are telecommuting and when you really love it and find satisfaction in it) and it is difficult but sometimes turning the brain on to "job - this is 8 hours - not my life" and then off again at night can help ease the morning dread.

Please keep us posted - this is a terrible thing to handle alone. We are here for you.


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SPECPAPA 3/25/2010 7:50AM

    I believe this is having a very strong effect on you.

Here's a frame of reference. I worked for a company in my town.
My chain of command was my supervisor, plant manager and the General Manager(who worked out of another town).

I maximized my skill set and the feedback from the Sup and the PM was all good. THE GM was always saying that my counter parts in the 2 other plants he was responsible for were doing more than I was and doing it more quickly.

I kept improving up to the point that physically I hit a wall. I could not move faster.

The GM's critisism kept up and I finally said I wanted to vist the other 2 plants to see HOW THEY DID THE THINGS HE SAID THEY did better.

The GM declined. I found out later that the machines in the other two plants were older and only had 70% of the one I used and ran at 98% of maximum capacity.

I believe you already know the two possibilities. She isn't giving her reasons for the cold shoulder. This does not involve the others that you meet with, just you and her.

If you do your job and only you know if you do( self examination is necessary here) then I think you have right to tactfully ask for a one on one conversation.

You need to resolve this.
Use these steps
1. Tell her you like your job better than anything you have done to date, if that's true.
2. Ask her what she thinks of your performance, cooperation, progress and future with the company.
A. You need to know if you are causing this or you are
just caught in the circumstances.
B. Listen very carefully, she may be the one under the gun.

3. If 2 does expose the problem, ask her for the corrective action on your part she wants to see.
4. If 2 does not, ask her what she would do if she were you to progress with the company.

5. Celebrate your resolution of the situation and move forward with your life. This is the kind of thing that makes us both eat things we don't need or at least it does that to me. It affected my whole life until I knew the truth.

I hope this helps or allows you to move forward. Get back to me if you want to dicuss it more or tell me to mind my own business.

Love ya emoticon

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Work-Life Balance Anyone?

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Life is getting busy these days.. I still have my medications, but I guess I am so used to it and my chubby body, that I don't talk about it much.. Every week I have atleast a guest at home and that changes my routine altogether.. I have been trying to get myself on track but failed yesterday.. I have to keep up on other things at work and life that have strict deadlines and my workouts get the last seat.. I don't even feel like getting 10 minute workouts during the day.. I know this is not the right path I should take, but I'll need to get these other things also done so that I don't lose my morale.. So, somehow I need to find time for both, a balance.. which I am struggling at.. Planning has helped me a lot, but some days I don't even feel like sticking to it, or something new comes in to disrupt my schedule (I always blame it on the evil spirit ;) He is always on the lookout to break my streak)..

Is there someone that has already found the balance between work and life? I'd appreciate any suggestions/help in this matter.. I badly need them..

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PLATINUM755 3/17/2010 3:43PM

    Wish I had an answer for you, but I usually squeeze it in anywhere I can...on really busy days I make the effort to park further when I go to the store, if I have to use the drive-thru I park and go in, I do glute extensions when I wash the dishes, pushups on the counter, frig or the wall while cooking...remember every little bit adds up... emoticon

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  This is a constant struggle. There are weeks I nail it and weeks I can't seem to figure out where I went. The best way for me to get back on track is to take little steps - drink my water, track my food, go for a walk. Soon I start taking more of those little steps and it adds up...

Take care of yourself. That's what is really important, not the walk you think you should do or the apple you are telling yourself you need to eat - what do you enjoy and what helps you on your path to your health.

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LISAALLGIER 3/16/2010 10:43AM

  You are definitely not alone, I am pretty sure that everyone has to struggle to fit it ALL in, with the hustled life style we live in today. But you have to find a way, set a goal to start with just 10 minutes a day, walking around the block, or your work parking lot at lunch time, just something, and you will be amazed how much more energy you will have, just knowing you accomplished a goal. You can do this, I believe in you and so does the rest of the Spark family. Good Luck! emoticon

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HOCKEYFAN_019 3/16/2010 9:25AM

    As you probably know, healthy eating and exercise nearly always help you feel better, get more motivated, etc, etc. BUT, that FIRST STEP is always the hardest. I've tried to develp a habit of working out EARLY every (weekday) morning, regardless, I get on the treadmill about 4:15 am, and I walk for 2 miles, while I watch a show I taped on the DVR. NOBODY else needs me for anything at 4:00, I'm not taking time away from anything else, and I can concentrate on improving MY health.

Sure, I am not getting as much sleeep as I should during the week (I sleep in on weekends and ride the boke for 30 minutes in the evenings), but I know my overall health has improved GREATLY, and I'm down almost 30 lbs since Jan 4th of this year.

If you want to change your life enough, you can do what it takes to make a difference. When you think about it, just how important is that other stuff, if you don't have your health? If you're not healthy, you won't be able to do the things you want to do anyways, so spend some time on yourself, and you'll have more for other activities.

Have fun, keep it up, and you can get there!

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KRISTINA0616 3/16/2010 9:05AM

    I think this is something that a lot of us struggle with, I know I sure do. I try and focus on making small changes and once those are just part of the routine then I add one more thing. For me I'm focusing on eating healthy and then if/when I fit in exercise it's just an added bonus. Once the eating healthy is second nature then I'll focus on making the exercise the same way. I've tried tackling them at the same time and that's when I always seem to fall off the wagon. Hope that helps some, even if it's just knowing you're not alone! Keep it up you'll get there!

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This month - Try again..

Monday, March 01, 2010

It is the 1st of March today and I weigh 139 lbs as of this morning.. Yay.. I crossed the 140 lb mark.. I was shooting for a goal weight of 135 lbs for the end of Feb, but I feel as long as I am in the right direction, I should be ok... This time I am shooting for a 2 lb loss in the next 2 weeks.. Thanks to SPECPAPA for this 2 lb theory.. I hope to persevere and win this time.. I am planning to track my calories and avoid mindless eating in the night and do atleast 30 minz cardio each day along with 5 Surya Namaskars... Wish me luck!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SONPARI1 3/2/2010 3:46AM

    congrats, u can do it.

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DKRUPA11 3/1/2010 6:22PM

    Good definitely gets easier with time..

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TRIGFROST 3/1/2010 3:41PM

    GO-FOR-IT..... emoticon emoticon

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SRITHI97 3/1/2010 9:10AM

    you can do it buddy. give in your best. emoticon

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JENNNVA 3/1/2010 8:03AM

    You will succeed - I have no doubt! emoticon emoticon

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FITKAT2010 3/1/2010 7:16AM

    I am not wishing you luck, luck has nothing to do with success. Success is achieved by setting goals and achieving them through self-discipline, focus, and facing fears head-on. That is what I wish for you:Discipline, focus, fearlessness,success!

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    Best of luck, and the will to persevere! emoticon

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Going up :(

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

I have been weighing myself last week and found that my weight keeps going up instead of going down inspite of my workouts during the week.. That doesn't motivate me really and my doctor was little upset and 'warned' me to really do some exercise. I am doing what I did last time when I lost weight, but this time I am on my steroids which makes things difficult. I am struggling to combat with it, but looks like everything goes in vain.. Little disappointed here..

My mom is leaving home tonight and I will have to take over my kitchen :( which is another sad thing, but I hope to tackle things lighter this time without much stress. I pray that I get enough rest during the nights so that I can make it through the day..

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REMEMBER2BME 2/18/2010 5:01PM

    URG. You need to at least "reward" yourself with positive comments for getting work outs in. All you can do is All you can do. The "real" problem is when you are not giving your all, right? Hang in there. We are with ya.

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EMIKAIT 2/17/2010 3:16PM

    It's so hard when you're on steroids!! Although it must be so discouraging to not see your efforts reflected in your weight, know that the exercising and healthy eating are doing wonders for your body and overall health. Hang in there!!!

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PLATINUM755 2/16/2010 4:45PM

    Use more than just the scale to determine how you are doing, and remember that the body adapts to what you are may be time to switch up your routine by adding more weights, stability ball or bands...Don't give up... emoticon

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YEAHBUTNOBUTT 2/16/2010 3:08PM

    I can totally empathise with the steroid situation.
The first thing that comes to mind to say is SHAME on your doctor!!!! He/She obviously has no conception of what it is truly like to be held back not only by Lupus but by the medication. Some days it's like swimming with rocks in your pocket isn't it?

Forget the weight, I know that's a heck of a lot easier said than done, but you are in an impossible situation with the medication at the moment. Go by how you feel. Take a moment and think about how much stronger you are physically... maybe you are less breathless, able to do more activities around the house.

There are lots of ways of measuring the success of you sparkjourney, as Shell suggests, it might be worth going by body measurements too.
YOU know you are exercising and eating right so... to be frank... screw the doctor's disappointment. That's about as demotivational as you can ask for. Keep doing what you are doing and know that every little step you make is a slap in the face to the steroids.


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TINYC887 2/16/2010 2:05PM

    i was up and down for a month, now im just stuck. dont give up, we can do this

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TRIGFROST 2/16/2010 11:59AM

    Your not along...I am up 2-lbs this week...
we can do this... emoticon

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SHELLPRO 2/16/2010 8:13AM

    Well I have to say I'm in your position too. But have U been measuring yourself to see if there's a difference in the numbers? I've found that though I've gained weight it is apparently muscle from all the training! And all of it is in the butt! But I'm satisfied cause I've dropped almost inch in the waist! So check and track those measurments. emoticon

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SONPARI1 2/16/2010 8:06AM

    i am so sorry, but I am sure you can work your way through this ordeal. Try changing your workout routine and see if it helps' emoticon

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