Thursday, November 20, 2014
The journey to healthy is hard! I joined SP in 2008. I wanted to get thinner, more fit and be healthy! Here I sit, 6 years later, with more knowledge but still not where I want to be!
When you start your journey, you're on fire! You're ready to succeed. Everything you read is new and exciting. Any exercise that you try is new and exciting. After the excitement wears off, things become stagnant and then you lose heart. A lot of times what happens is that whatever weight you've lost, you gain back. Realistically it's because you haven't dug deep enough inside to figure out why you're unhealthy, too heavy and not happy.
This happened to me. In 2011, I was down to 133 pounds from 180 and I felt great! Then life gave a devastating blow to me with my knee (requiring two different surgeries) and any motivation that I had was gone. I started eating anything that I wanted. Unfortunately, I am an emotional eater. The fact that I was not able to exercise, was in a knee brace for a long time and couldn't see the end result, caused me to eat mindlessly. I ate anything I wanted whenever I wanted. Yes, that's what caused me to be 180 pounds in the first place, and I couldn't see that I was falling into the same exact pattern. I internalize my feelings and try to make myself happy by eating. It works but only temporarily. Eating foods like pizza, ice cream, cake, mexican, etc. is only a temporary fix. It has been two years since my last knee surgery. Now, I'm here, 178 pounds and trying to find my motivation again. Over the past two years I've just been fulfilling my sadness and frustration with food.
Despite feeling hopeless at times, I've never stopped trying. I think that is important to point out. I have never given up the desire to be healthy. Recently, I injured my foot and therefore my lower back due to way that I've been walking. Again, I've crawled into a hole and started feeling sad. I've started eating more food (binging at times). After a few weeks here of living in that hole, I've started to realize why I'm at this point. When I feel like I can't do something, I give up. Well, if I'm injured and can't exercise, or if I've had surgery and can't exercise, "why care about anything else" Okay, I realize that this is not good logic. This is precisely why I've been thinking about this journey introspectively. Can I change what's on the inside that got me here? Yes, I can. I am the only one that can.
What have I learned in six years?
- I love fruits and vegetables
- I love to drink water
- I love to run
- I love to dance
- I love to make healthy recipes
- I am an emotional eater and when my feelings aren't in check I overeat
- I tend to focus more on what I can't do, not what I'm able to do
- I let stress get to me more often than not
- I am a workaholic
How am I going to keep on, keeping on in this journey?
- I am going to focus on friendships that I have here and people who encourage me
- I am going to work hard to do what I can and give my best
- I will not stop trying to reach my goal of 124 pounds
- I will keep working on different ways to shake things up when I can
- I am going to remind myself every day that each little thing that I do in order to improve my health is important; even if it is only 5 minutes of exercise
In closing, my journey is not over! It is just getting started! I think I'm finally at a place mentally that I believe that healthy and fit is possible. I know that I can reach my goal weight even if it takes another year. I am capable of exercise even though sometimes that means only chair exercises.
Don't stop believing! Never give up on yourself because the moment that you do is when you lose the fight! I'm a fighter, are you?