Friday, July 01, 2011
Some homework for Yoovie's DIY: "post a public declaration of your independence from your own oppression..." I've been thinking all day about what that means to me. Maybe it's the 100 degree heat, maybe it's my teacher-summer-brain off mode, but I cannot come up with jack. I just keep hearing,
"All the women who are independent
Throw your hands up at me
All the honeys who makin' money
Throw your hands up at me
All the mommas who profit dollas
Throw your hands up at me"
At first it was funny, (because rockin out to Destiny's Child in your own head, all by yourself is funny) but then it got depressing. It's sad that independence is synonymous with money. I know it isn't for everyone. And I get the whole financial independence thing. But it still saddens me that for young girls the message is: If you can buy your own bling, then you're an independent woman. Our culture equates success with money in the same way. You always hear, "He is a very successful doctor." Or "She's a lawyer. She's very successful." When have you ever heard, "She's a successful teacher" or "He's a successful dad"??? Obviously I take this personally because I am a teacher and I think what I do is very important AND I think I'm successful. My culture may not value me for that, but I do.
OK, tangent on success. But they are related. What makes me independent in my personal life, professional life and in my fitness life are the same things that make me successful. Of course they're all inter-related.
Here's my visual:
That's independence. That's success.
When you're running like that it's hard to feel oppressed. I don't even care that I don't look like that. yet.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
DIY Challenge Entry Form
My Challenge Name: Every Damn Day
My Starting Weight: 150.8
Four Other things I will be measuring during this challenge & their current stats: (body measurements, race times, crunch max, jeans size, whatever YOU need to track)
1. running distance: 6.4 miles
2. push-ups on toes: 12
3. jeans: 8 is baggy, 6 is tight
4. BMI: 23.5
If I am going to be 100% honest with myself, the reason I am doing this challenge is because Spark challenges work for me. Putting all this ish in print, looking back at my numbers, people's comments and reading what other people are doing motivates me. I strive to be the best in all areas of my life. Shouldn't health and fitness be included too?
I feel like the reason that I have not been progressing as well as I hoped I would be is because, well, I don't want to sound like a conceited jerk, but I have been progressing pretty well. I want to make sure I keep it up. edit: I wrote that 2 days ago and now see that I didn't meet my June weight loss goal. Apparently I DO need to do more and be stricter with food choices.
This time, I commit to finishing my challenge because I know that I feel good about myself when I follow through and just do it. I know what I need to do. I am not a quitter. I will not be in the 85% that drop out. I pinkie promise.
I'm scared of getting to my goal weight and still pinching the fat and not liking what I see. That sounds like a pretty unhealthy body image to me. I wonder what will ever be enough.
I want to have super sexy thighs. Or at least, good lookin ones. I wish they would just stop rubbing against each other already.
But I have faith in running. It feels amazing, my legs are getting some muscles I've never seen before and I'm addicted.
THIS time I will succeed because I am a runner.
My top five non-health related motivations right now are:
1. I want to be proud of my reflection, feel confident & strong
2. be a role model for physical and mental health for my own kids and my students
3. looking & feeling better than those mean girls
4. skinny jeans
5. that marathon next June. I'm going for it.
The best way to motivate me is to compete with me.
The best way I can motivate myself is to try on clothes: workout or dress-up.
My name is Maura and I will do what I said.
Today is June 30. I want to end July feeling better than I feel now. I've got a plan. Calendars were the art project this morning:
That's mine. And my daughter's: (She's 2)
My before pics in a mom swimsuit. Not ready to show off the stretch marks at the beach. Maybe a bikini next summer.
Taking pictures is always hard, but I know I'll be glad I did it in 6 weeks. Taking pictures also always reminds me that I need a new camera.
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