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FIRESTARINFINI's Recent Blog Entries

Haven't posted in awhile...

Monday, July 29, 2013

I'm going through a really stressful time right now.

Broke up with a few friends, and I also got into a car accident.

I've been super depressed about the fact that my insurance is going to go up and the fact that I'll have to get a new car, which is going to be a ton of money.

I got into graduate school and I have a job interview tomorrow, but I'm still crawling out of the shock of the accident.

I've lost my appetite and it's kind of freaking me out. I find myself at 800 calories at 9 at night and then I have to rush to make sure I get to minimum (1600-1700).

I'm losing weight, but I don't know how happy I should be about it since it's coming from me being depressed and not eating much.

Hope you guys are doing well. I'm still exercising and making sure I eat right. Keep your head up all of you!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BMCOLLEY 7/30/2013 5:33PM

    Stop! for a minute before you make too many moves. If you take the time to think about your situations you will, more than likely, find that your issues are more controllable than you thought. Weight loss during illness is not a good thing. Also, you need energy to carry out the many tasks you have to complete. Question: Do you have someone else you can delegate some of your work to--like a brother to evaluate the car you need in the future.

Realize your blessings!


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PARASELENIC 7/29/2013 11:08PM

    Take the time to process where you are. It's not necessarily a bad thing, it just is. Stress, yes. Challenge, yes. All of it, yes, but in all of it, the judgy all the people is YOU, YOU who handle and process and experience these things right effing now. Be patient. You're doing great, who gives a f*ck aobut your program???

Come back when you can, as you are.

We're here, applauding.

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This is probably a good thing but...

Saturday, June 15, 2013

My body can't handle cheat days anymore. I have the biggest stomach ache from eating greasy food. I didn't even eat that much today--- I didn't even get to eat my dessert :(

I guess this indicates that my body is changing for the better, but still annoying.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PLMITCH 6/17/2013 5:35PM

    It IS a good thing! It may not feel like it, but really, I think it is!


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BMCOLLEY 6/16/2013 2:19PM

    You have got that right! You stomach is fighting with you because it does not want unhealthy-greasy foods anymore. Congratulations...


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STEPH-KNEE 6/16/2013 6:14AM

    I am right there with you! I used to enjoy a greasy treat from the fast food places, and now I'm afraid to what it'll do to my stomach. It's a good thing that we can't over do it but it can get frustrating when you want that rare treat.

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IMREITE 6/16/2013 3:27AM

    i have found that when i am mindful of portions my body is used to eating less at a time and then i get stuffed when i eat foods that used to be a normal thing.

yes, it is a very good thing.

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KITT52 6/16/2013 12:08AM

    hope you feel better soon...

have a healthy Sunday

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For those who have PCOS and suffer from hirsutism

Friday, May 24, 2013

Apparently spearmint tea can help:

" To look at the effects in women, 21 volunteers with hirsutism, 12 of whom had polycystic ovary syndrome, were given a cup of spearmint tea twice a day for five days in the follicular (when the ovarian follicle develops) phase of their menstrual cycle.

They made the tea by pouring a cup (250ml) of boiling water over one heaped teaspoon (5g) of dried leaves, and leaving it for five to 10 minutes.

The researchers found a significant decrease in free (active) testosterone in the blood and an increase in several female hormones including follicle-stimulating hormone. "

I'm going to try this out.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DUSTYPRAIRIE 5/30/2013 4:13PM

    This is informative.

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REDTHREN 5/25/2013 9:20PM

    I've been drinking 2 cups of organic spearmint tea for almost 4 weeks now, and I think I am starting to see a slight difference. The hairs are just as plentiful, but seem to be coming in less coarse. I'm going to keep drinking it even if I don't see vast improvements just because I love the taste of it, no sweetener needed. Doesn't hurt to try! emoticon

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KITT52 5/25/2013 6:55AM

    thanks for the info...I'll let a friend know who suffers from this

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NMINDSEYE 5/25/2013 4:57AM

    I think I'll try this too. emoticon

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Thursday, May 23, 2013

When I first started losing weight, I decided that I was going to do it to see if my weight was costing me opportunities. I was curious enough to see if weight loss was going to change the way people interacted with me.

I wanted to see if, by losing weight, the variables that I had no control over (how people perceived me, how they interacted me, how much worth they put into me) would some how change, or if they wouldn't at all.

Before the weight loss, I was confident in my looks, I had no problem with my personality, and I told off anyone that tried to make me feel insecure.

When I started to lose weight, I promised myself that I would continue to exercise no matter what happened on the scale, because continuing to exercise meant something good was happening inside my body.

Now, in the middle of my journey, I feel so insecure.

I feel like if I don't lose anymore weight, I'll miss opportunities, I won't meet anyone special, everything I put on my body will be ugly no matter what, a picture taken of me will look ugly no matter what.

It's about time I go back to who I was when I started this weight loss journey.

This friday I'm going to meet with a stylist, and re do my wardrobe, and get things tailored to my body.

I'm not going to wait till I lose a few more pounds or a few more inches.

I don't have the perfect body, and I am not at a good weight, but I love myself enough to treat myself right.

God dammit I deserve nice things.

Edit: I'm also scheduling a photo shoot so I can look back at this time and say "Damn I was fine"

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRATEFUL4TODAY 6/5/2013 12:08AM

    I love this quote I saw today:

"You have so much more to offer than how you look"

Our value is not in how we look but in WHO we are. Shine your beauty from the inside out! I'm glad you are celebrating how far you have come on this journey. You have come a long way and deserve a celebration. Reward yourself with the photo shoot and you WILL look back and be super proud of how far you have come.

You have reminded me that there is much to celebrate along the way - each step forward is a victory, even if we haven't reached our goal!

emoticon emoticon

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Low self esteem

Monday, May 20, 2013

Has anyone else had this problem?

Before I started losing weight, I thought I was the prettiest girl ever. I had no problem with how I looked naked. I had no problem imagining being attracted to me.

Now that I'm trying to lose weight, I'm looking at all the flaws I need to get rid of, thinking about how if I lose the weight I might just gain it all back.

How people will look at me with limitations because of my weight.

There have been so many benefits that I've worked for since I lost weight, but I wish I had the self esteem I had before the weight loss.

I'm not looking for advice or compliments, just wondering if anyone has ever has experience this, where weight loss has brought you lower self esteem.

I understand that there are people out there that have gained self esteem from weight loss, that they probably felt not as confident with their looks before their weightloss. This is not the case with me. Please please please don't try to question the validity of my feelings, it's not nice, it's actually condescending and insulting.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ARMONIA 5/21/2013 6:15PM

    Good luck with your journey. I think your post makes total sense. You have turned your focus onto weightloss so that will bring up issues when you might have felt differently when you were focused on something else.

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PLMITCH 5/21/2013 5:28PM

    I'm wondering if part of your issue is the one I deal with -- that in spite of losing weight, it's almost like that is not enough! Not sure if that makes sense, but I guess for me, it is like I have been battling weight issues for so long, that I'm not enjoying the spoils of the victory, or even worse yet, the fear that I'll gain an unhealthy amount again.

In any case, I get where you are coming from, and I guess it just takes time to get adjusted....

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PINKEUROGIRL 5/20/2013 1:13AM

    I feel like a million bucks after losing 90 lbs. A new person

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