Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Ugh. I am so tired of jumping up and down the scale - gaining 15 lbs every fall and winter and losing 20 in the spring and summer. This has happened - starting with the spring of 2009 - every year!!! So I could be well below 200 lbs by now if I'd just smartened up already!
I have kept off 30 or so lbs, for the most part, since initially losing 35 lbs in 2009. But my goal is to be at least below 200 - right now that's 23 lbs to lose - in 6 months, and I know I can do it, since I lost 35 in 3!
When I started slacking off in the fall, I was 208 lbs, the smallest I've been in over 10 years (I remember going to the gym at 19 thinking I was 185, like I used to be, and being horrified to find I weighed 210!), and it felt great. It's the only time I've felt like I was really myself again ... I was wearing my favorite skirt of all time, my jeans not only fit but weren't super tight on my legs and there was no muffin-topping whatsoever! 14 lbs gained from September to now and those jeans are just barely fitting; they are tight everywhere :( And I have been finding myself down that dangerous slope, the "Screw it" thinking that I'm sure many people get sucked into. I am sure I don't want to know just how many calories I've been eating every day in cookies and other crap!
So today, this is my pep talk to myself: I can do this. I WILL do this. I can be 200 lbs ... I can be 185 lbs!
I am going to stop eating gluttonously.
I am going to exercise.
I am going to snack on fruits and veggies.
I am going to drink water.
I am going to be fit, and healthy, and hot! LOL (Okay my husband will tell you I am hot now. I feel pretty, but not hot - not yet!)
So help me God
Monday, July 26, 2010
My favorite, favorite skirt, that I haven't worn since I was 19. IT FITS ME!
When I got married, and when I was pregnant with my first DD, I was around 240 lbs. I still had some clothes - at least tops - from my late teens, early 20s. But after baby girl, none of that fit me, and I was too depressed to hang on to all these things I couldn't wear, so I threw them out. Except for the skirt (oh and my grad dress!); I couldn't bear it.
It used to be a pair of wiiiide leg jeans that I'd bought at a Skate Shop down on Granville Street, with a "K" (for my first name, Kristy) on the back pocket. The inseam split, and so with my mum's help, we turned it into a skirt with some denim that looked like corduroy (Sp?). The result? A lovely, long modern bohemian floor sweeping skirt. And it fits me. I am ecstatic! Which means, I am in and around the weight that I was 10 years ago!!!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
So, my healthy BMI = 185, buuut. That is what I weighed when I was 13. I don't think I want to be that size, but I will see what I look like and feel like at 200 lbs ... actually, I would really like to at least break 200. So, 13 lbs to go, LOL.
I am feeling great, though. I have so much energy for my girls, and other than a few days of the month (you know what I mean, ladies!), I am getting out of a lazy funk that I don't even know HOW I got into and I am finding it's not even a matter of "keeping up" with housework anymore... well, most of the time :P
And unlike other times where I made one bad food choice (high sugar, or high fat) and thought "screw it" the next day and went back up five lbs in a matter of days ... I am plugging forward and making sure that I don't derail myself! I do NOT know when I last weighed even this weight, I'm pretty sure it's been at *least* 7-8 years; I mean, I was 240 lbs when I got married - I wonder if I'd even be able to wear my wedding dress now! :D
I just have to remember to keep up my exercise, because when that drops out of the picture, so does my energy, and I canNOT lose this momentum!
But I don't want to make it solely about 'good eating' and exercise - even though that's huge - because I am, foremost, a believer in Jesus Christ. And I think that there's a point to be made for self-control (a fruit of the spirit!) and the way that I have approached eating in the past. Are we supposed to do anything else "just because we want to" or because we enjoy it? It's not just a matter of "everything in moderation", but the simple facts: when I am healthier, my mind is clearer, I have more energy, I get more things done, I canbe someone of impact in the Kingdom of God! I am not dealing with things like weight and lack of energy slowing me down; I have more presence of mind to be HERE for my girls, to teach them how to be women of God than if I remained an overweight, lazy mother who barely gets the minimum done. What will that teach them?
Thank you, God, for your provision, and for this chance to be the girl who used to dance round and round for you.
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