Wednesday, October 22, 2014
I forget if I mentioned it, but a month ago my gym started a self guided challenge called Girls Gone Strong. Basically, you picked a muscle group you wanted to work on and a pre-assessment was done. Three reps of the highest weight you could maintain proper form with. We were then given a workout outline to follow, and at the end of 30-ish days, we would do a post assessment to see how we improved. The owner wanted to put some focus on strength training, since so many women shy away from it.
I chose to work on: biceps, triceps, chest press and deadlift (back). My initial bicep weight was 20#, today I did three bicep curls holding 25#. Both times was with that amount of weight in each hand, we were using dumbbells, not a barbell. I could overhead press a 20# weight for my triceps at the beginning, today I used a 30# weight. Last month, using a barbell, my chest press was 55#, today I pressed 85#. Finally, my deadlift was 65# when we started, and today it is 85#.
Yeah buddy! I think we really underestimate ourselves a lot, and this was definitely a good way to show it. I'll say more on why later, but this morning was the last of my heavy lifting for a little while, but I wanted to make sure I at least completed the challenge.
Have a great day, and don't forget to challenge yourself!
Monday, October 20, 2014
My ticker has informed me there are only 26 days until my half marathon. Let me tell you guys; I am so ready to get this thing over with. My best friend is doing it with me and we had our next to last big walk yesterday. Nine miles. Nine. Flippin. Miles. Three hours. This stopped being fun after six or seven miles. I'm am so very grateful that I have a friend to do this training and race with because honestly, I don't think I would have made it this far going solo. I like to think that I'm a strong person, but three hours of putting one foot in front of another- it's hard. After about mile six you're running on pure stubborness. It's not even fun anymore. If you ask me right now, I'm never doing this again! Let me get through the race and ask me again a couple months later. I may have forgotten all the drudgery of this thing and be raring to go for another one. I might be willing to try this again in a year or two when there's less of me to haul around.
I'm rather busted this morning, which is probably really why I'm complaining this much. We actually have an extra week right now, so we may just do a step back this coming Sunday instead of the dreaded ten miler. We'll see. My vote if for that, but of course, walking down the hall to the restroom is a chore today. I woke up about ten minutes before my alarm this morning (grumblegrumblegrumble) and hobbled to the bathroom. I decided then that I wasn't going to go to the gym, today would be a rest day. Because I really haven't had a rest day in a while. My weekend was filled with carpet cleaning and errands and a nine freakin mile walk! So I reset my alarm for 6:30 and mumbled to the hubs that I didn't know what I could really do at the gym this morning so I was going to sleep in. He got up a few minutes later and at 5:00 I realized I wasn't going back to sleep. So I decided to just suck it up and I got dressed and went the the gym anyway! God I'm stubborn. And of course now I'm nodding off at my desk now.
I am feeling a little bit better. I took some Tylenol when I got up the first time at 4:20, and moving around is I guess helping a little with the ankle's internal swelling, which is most of what makes it so difficult to get around. It does hurt, but it's that lack of range of motion that kills me. Long story short, I severly dislocated my ankle years ago, and that is what causes me so many problems when I do things like this.
Now that I've vented about the joys of long distance walking I will say that I'm really am having a good Monday! Got a good upper body workout in, and spend a little time on the stationary bike. It's cold today- It was only 37F (5C) when I left for the gym today, but it's beautiful and sunny. I have a cozy sweater and corduroys on, a lunch bag full of healthy, tasty food, and despite some soreness and gimpiness, I'm feeling strong, capable, and healthy.
Seriously, though, people were not made to walk distances like this! Just keeping it real! Have a fabulous Monday and make it the best day it can be!
Thursday, October 16, 2014
So. I just sent my nutritionist a big fat break up email. I got my first bill for what my insurance doesn't cover and it was $200 for three visits! My poor little HSA account can't take that kind of abuse. I can't only put in $200 a month as it is. And I'm about to be up to my eyeballs with other medical bills, so I need to save where I can. And I certainly can't afford this out of pocket. I was kind of afraid that this would happen.
As I talked about before, I was also concerned about how restricted she had my food choices and how hard it was for me to meet her 1100 calorie a day goal for me based on those.
There's a part of this as well, that makes me a little crazy in the head. The amount of obsessing and planning and talking about focusing on food that I do starts to feel so unhealthy to me. I can really see how this could lead to an eating disorder for me. I've flirted briefly with anexoria when I was younger and that little part of my brain got a twisted sort of delight in seeing how low I could get my calories while still fulfilling her eating plan. So there's a sense of relief in this as well.
I know she's going to be disappointed, but I have to do what's right for me, and everything in me is screaming that this is not the right path for me anymore. But don't you worry, because I'm not giving up this journey! It's time to K.I.S.S.:
Eat some fruit
Eat some lean protein
Have a splurge day every now and then
We really do put ourselves through too much with this stuff sometimes. I know I'm super guilty of overthinking things. It's time to breathe, relax a little, and bring this back around to a happy joyful process. I love myself way too much for this. There, I said it.
Monday, October 06, 2014
Until they fall off. (I'm giving you fair warning now, there is some non-graphic lady parts discussion below, if that's something you'd rather not read.)
The wheels kind of fell off my bus this weekend. Looser habits have been kind of creeping in for a few nights prior. And then Thursday night I ended up buying some chocolate when I stopped for gas on my way home. I didn't go completely off of the deep end, but I did make cupcakes Saturday. And ate too many of them.
I've been soooo stressed out the past couple of weeks, especially with this whole am I pregnant or not crap. At this point, I think that super restrictive diet that I've been on might have messed my cycle up. My period is four days late today, and the pregnancy test I took Saturday was negative. I have no clue what's going on, but I haven't been this off schedule since before I went on the pill. I've had the past two years off the pill and just a regular as you please. I refuse to believe that the sole addition of my long training walk once a week is to blame. I suppose it could be a contributing factor, but I don't think I have increased my exercise enough for it to be the root cause. I'm willing to bet that a month or so of eating between 800-1100 calories a day is was really did it. I'm meeting with the nutrionist on Monday, and we're either going to have to change some things around, or I'm going to have to take a break for a while. This is not the time in my life where I need my hormones going haywire. I've been in a constant state of feeling like I'm PMS'ing for about two weeks now, and the cramps and cravings and bloating are getting really old. I'm also terrified that I'm going to destroy my metabolism, if I haven't already, so if I do go back to eating a normal calorie range, even if it's only like 1500 a day or something, that I'm just going to gain weight like crazy.
What I really want to do is cancel my appointment and just not go back, but that's not the adult way to handle things. I know this is her profession and what she has a degree in, but this change in my menstrual cycle has HUGE red flags going up all over the place for me.
Sorry for the really long vent/rant session. I feel like I haven't been very positive lately and that I've been doing a lot of complaining. I've been feeling kind of overwhelmed lately. I know you all understand how tired you get obsessing over this stuff, but that if you take a mental health break from it, you just start gaining right away. I know there's more to life than food, but I get tired of feeling left out or constantly eating differently from everyone. Or feeling guilty about eating at a restaurant or enjoying something "bad". Or afraid you're going to hurt someone's feelings when you don't eat their food.
I was hoping that this experience with a nutritionist would help me feel less confused and more confident about losing weight, but this morning I'm feeling right back at square one. I can always tell when I'm stressed because when I go back through my blog is like reading the thought train of an ADD squirrel. So anyway, today is a new day and I'm going to work on picking up the pieces and see if I can't find some open positions to apply for while I'm at it! If you've gone along with this insanity to this point, thanks for hanging in there! Sometime's a girl's just gotta get things off her chest!
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