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Sunday, June 14, 2009

Ok I woke up still feeling kind of alone and scared of it all..But I got on the treadmill and blasted some positive music in my headphones and cried for a little while as I walked. I know that sounds weird (I felt weird doing it) BUT it really released a ton of bad juju lol It really was just a lot of nervous energy I had to get rid of.

I then logged onto SP to blog again and saw some nice messages from other members that really helped me feel like I am not alone in this :) I am new here, and don't have a lot of support in my everyday life so it really boosted me. ((hugs))

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FINALLYDOINIT 6/18/2009 10:53PM

    I am so sorry to hear that, your family sounds a bit like mine ~
I sent you a message :) ttys emoticon

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ANIMEMOM1 6/14/2009 5:21PM

    I don't have a lot of support either. I have been told by my father that I gained the weight because I am weak. "You used to be so beautiful! A model and now look at you. Your nothing but weak crap now." The fact that I've had two kids and am over 40 means nothing to him. I have other MALE overweight family members that he just refers to as "living well" and they just tease me about my thunder thighs and huge butt. "Too bad you can't gain weight in the bust-you would be HUGE!!" they say. I have a stick thin daughter who is horrified about "fat genes" (thanks to comment from family) and a son who is on the heavy side who is just considered "Husky". I am trying to get us to eat better and exercise as much as possible-hard at family gatherings when I make good-for-us food to have it eaten by others leaving me with the pizza and chips that are left and being made to feel like a problem child when they want to play cards after eating and I suggest a nice walk then excluded from the games when I return from said solo walk. "We've already started!" I am a single parent so everything falls on me. When I fail at my goals I feel it in everything I do. I also see my kids watch me fail. I want a support system so badly! I feel your angst. I even snapped at my son the other day when I was overwhelmed with so much going on and he reminded me we needed to go exercise. "I don't have TIME!" I did some strength training later and I cried. I understand. Another good thing about this venue. You hang in there. At least we are trying-more than others can say. More power to you-to US!!

Comment edited on: 6/14/2009 5:22:39 PM

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uggh i cheated again.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Ok so I went to arbys and had a big ol' rbeef sandwich n fries...I am so mad at myself! It's like I am in a trance and just forget everything I am trying to do here:(

I think I am stressing because I have to get some scary medical tests in the next couple weeks and my nerves are frayed. I know this is an excuse...ugh so dumb!
I am going to get on my stationary bike and ride for a couple hours!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FINALLYDOINIT 6/14/2009 1:32PM

    Thank you guys SO much for your responses ((hugs)) I am feeling much better and more positive knowing I am not alone. Kim emoticon

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SDANNI64 6/14/2009 12:34AM

    We all have days like yours....when something sets us off track. I like to remember that each day is a new chance to get it right.

Hang in there.....tomorrow will be better! I am rooting for you! emoticon

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ANIMEMOM1 6/13/2009 10:13PM

    Funny that your blog caught my eye because I instantly thought "SEE!! Someone else cheated too!" I am a baker and I had an order to make cookies for a special event. Of course the ones they asked for are some of my favorites and they take two days to make because I handpaint them. So not only do I have dozens of these cookies all around me but I have to handle each one and stare at them for days. UGH!! I ate 6. 6!!!! Double UGH!! And these are twice the size that the recipe calls for so it was actually 12 (OMG 12 ????) I was also so busy I didn't cook anything and only ate what I had lying around AND I talked myself out of going to the gym because I was so stressed (??) Isn't that one great side effect of exercise-less stress? Time to contemplate and plan-or relax and space off? All things I needed to do. Now I mailed the cookies off yesterday and weighed myself-I had gained two pounds. emoticon I caught up on my sleep yesterday and did an hour of cardio today. I thought I was going to pass out after not doing my cardio for almost a week but I felt great afterwards. I feel a little bit better about myself this evening. I am amazed how easy it is to talk ourselves out of what is good for us and make us feel better-and talk ourselves into things that we KNOW were are going to regret. Yeah Human Beings!! I hope your tests come out for the best. Stationary bikes drive me nuts and hurt my buns. I admire you doing that. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this scary time.

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JOJOSHUSHI 6/13/2009 9:15PM

    I wouldn't stress too much about it - at least you are conscious of what you should be eating and you are working it off. Every once in awhile, you can give in to some cravings otherwise, you will fall off the wagon altogether.

Good luck on your tests and keep on track! emoticon

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