FIGHTING4IT   31,788
30,000-39,999 SparkPoints
FIGHTING4IT's Recent Blog Entries

The Real Problem

Thursday, October 23, 2014

The truth is that the real problem isn't my weight. The real problem is that I don't feel good enough and I probably never will. I wish I could figure out why I feel this way, but I don't think I will ever know. It is because of this that I stuff my face. I eat to numb the pain. I eat because for that brief moment all the troubles just fade away. It is because of this feeling that I find it so hard to picture a real future. It's hard to just get out of bed. Now I am looking for jobs and this scares me because I don't think I am capable of doing anything. I feel so weak, both physically and emotionally. However, I just put on a "mask" and bury it all deep deep down.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VBA2009 10/24/2014 9:21AM

    I am reading a book right now called Failing Forward by John Maxwell. One thing I read the other day that has been motivating me is this:
If you always do what you've always done, then you will always get what you've always gotten.
I believe wrote this blog beause you want to make a change and I believe you can. Believe in yourself...YOU are special and deserve to feel special. Try to forgive whatever is causing the pain to release yourself from holding on to the unforgiveness. SparkPeople is amazing and there are so many people who are in your corner. Whatever you need we are here!!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

    The bravest thing you will ever do is to find and accept the real you! It's hard work to change the thought patterns that keep you in that feeling. A friend of mine has been working with me on this area. One suggestion is to take a dry erase marker and write positive messages to yourself on your mirrors. look yourself in the eye when you say them. Even if they don't feel right at first, eventually they will start to be more comfortable, more identifiable as a part of you. Be your own best friend, and tell yourself all the good things that a best friend would say.

I'm hear for you and I believe you are stronger then you give yourself credit for. Trust in yourself and your abilities to create a world, and a life you love. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
UMBILICAL 10/23/2014 6:37PM

  True for many of us.

Report Inappropriate Comment

Setting Fire to the Life That I Know

Monday, October 20, 2014

One day I'm up, the next day I'm down, but I am not giving up yet. I am hanging on tight to that glimmer of hope that one day things will get better. In hopes to get myself back on track I made these two motivational collages.

"My road. My dreams. My life."

Check out the song "Burning Gold" by Christina Perri. It is my new theme song.


I've had enough
Iím standing up
I need, I need a change
I've had enough of chasing luck
I need, I need a change

Iím setting fire to the life that I know
Let's start a fire everywhere that we go
We starting fires, we starting fires
'Til our lives are burning gold


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUNSET09 10/21/2014 7:19PM

  emoticon Let's light it up! emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
WISHFULDREAMING 10/21/2014 10:56AM

    Love the collages! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KLONG8 10/20/2014 1:15PM

    GREAT theme song. Perfect for where you are (and most of us are). And your motivational collages are both artistic and motivational. Great combo. Have a great week!

Report Inappropriate Comment
EVIE4NOW 10/20/2014 1:14PM

  That's a great theme song. You CAN do it!

Report Inappropriate Comment

Autumn Breeze Poem

Friday, October 17, 2014

Autumn breeze come carry me away
From all the scars that lie beneath
I'm tired of hiding these broken wings
I just wanna find some peace

Autumn breeze rejuvenate my soul
Before I completely let go
Although I pray that there's more
Sometimes I'm not quite sure

So autumn breeze, I'll give this one more try
'Cause I'm not ready for my goodbye
Maybe this will finally be the day
My heart finds it's reason to stay

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    You have a beautiful way with words. Love your poems. Never stop! You truly shine!

Report Inappropriate Comment
WILDKAT781 10/17/2014 8:12PM


Report Inappropriate Comment
LYNMEINDERS 10/17/2014 6:04PM


Report Inappropriate Comment

Losing Myself

Monday, September 29, 2014

It seems like my struggles are getting worse by the day. I'm losing myself. The only thing scarier than being at your lowest is not caring that you are at your lowest. How can I pick myself up off the floor and change my life? I'm too weak and it hurts too much. There is the physical pain because of the weight, but that's not the worst part. The emotional and spiritual pain, that's what I can't handle. My soul is broken and honestly I don't think it can be repaired. Occasionally I have these fleeting moments where I am at peace and it is the most amazing thing, but these moments pass and I once again find myself stuck in that hole I have no way of climbing out of. I would give anything just to have a fresh start with my life. I would promise to get it right the next time because I know this round isn't going to work out in my favor. Why bother fighting for something you know will never work out?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WILDKAT781 9/29/2014 12:29PM

    I wish I had words of wisdom for you right now. I am exactly where you are you are and all I can say is I care

Report Inappropriate Comment
LIPISONO 9/29/2014 11:42AM

    It sounds like you are going through a rough time. All I can give you is a few words of encouragement. I don't know if they will help but at least there is comfort in knowing that people care enough to try! Life is tough and so many of us seem burdened with more pain than we think we could ever endure. But somehow, we endure it. We make it through and we press on. I have found that through the toughest moments in life is when I find myself. I may lose sight of who I am for awhile but when I come out the other side, I am more myself then I have ever been. It never gets easier, instead you will get stronger. Even though it seems hard now, this is the only life you will have and great things are still to happen for you. Just keep pressing on and know that there are people who care (even ones that don't personally know you!) emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

If I'm Being Honest

Saturday, September 27, 2014

A life of pain
I can't let go
It's hurt more than you know
So, if I'm being honest
I've given up
These days are numbered
And that won't stop
My soul aches from the truth
Yesterday, today, and tomorrow
Will be spent without you
But, maybe the next time
I could get this right.

So, if I'm being honest
I've accepted my fate
I know things will never change
I'll never find my way
But, if I get that second chance
I would make this new life last
I'd fight for my dreams
Which would start off by loving the real me
And would lead me to your warm embrace
Then, I'd make sure we spent eternity
Dancing under the stars
Like it was meant to be.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUNSET09 9/28/2014 6:51PM

  Love yourself first! Such words! emoticon and emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NYARAMULA 9/27/2014 12:15PM


Report Inappropriate Comment

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 Last Page